sunday snapshots

Hello friends! We are back with internet sooner than we thought, which is fabulous, although it wouldn't have done us any harm to go a little longer than 24 hours without access to the online world. 

I hope you didn't get too fed up of my posts about wedding cake, although I'm afraid this post is a little on the food-heavy side too!

If you have any suggestions of things you'd like to see on here other than lots of food, flowers & baking, I am always open to your thoughts & ideas!

 

morning coffee

 the deliciously juicy snack I ate after our 10.5 mile run

 granola making & baking

evening reading as the rain falls

the blue shack

One of the regular activities which took place on our holiday was running. Five of the group are in training of the Bristol Half Marathon, and being on holiday didn't mean a break from running. 

When we had moored at Loch Oich, Tim, John & I went for a run on a track alongside the Loch. After darting here & there, jumping over the tree roots that were sprawled across the path, we came across a little blue shack. We wondered aloud whether anyone lived there, although it looked pretty shabby & like it had been a long time since it had been loved. Tim poked his head round the door & spotted a sleeping bag with some empty beer cans, and the smell of wood smoke greeted him, before he withdrew to tell us what he had seen. 

When you were a child, did you ever see old, derelict & deserted buildings & wonder what it would be like to venture inside? I remember that feeling of avid curiousity - was there anyone living in there, and if so, would they eat me alive or shout at me for trespassing?

The feeling of nervous excitement & caution coursed through our veins as we toyed with the idea of venturing inside, wondering who or what we might find. Our intrigue overruled caution and we ventured in. Although there wasn't anybody in there, I still felt the need to creep around on tiptoes, holding my breath as I went, as though the emptiness of this little house commanded an unspoken reverence for its history.

Here's what we found...

 paper thin floors

 I wonder when this little oven was last used

 I loved the fabric of this blanket, despite the dirt

a teeny tiny bedroom that I could only just stand up in

One of the curious things about this little shack is that there was a kitchen, bedrooms, living rooms, but no bathroom. We pondered why this might be, then as we emerged back into the sunlight outdoors, I heard the sound of a rushing waterfall behind me and looked at the Loch in front of me. This shack was surrounded by water. Who needs a shower when you have a waterfall?

race for life

Our bodies are amazing, aren't they? The way they keep us alive & well is amazing. From a young age, we learn to listen to what our bodies are telling us about what we need; when we are thirsty, hungry, tired, weary, happy, sad, hurt, unwell, and every single other physical & emotional need. 

Today, my body was telling me it was tired, after having a very early start to the day. So I had an afternoon nap. I awoke after half an hour to my alarm, telling me it was time to go and run the Bristol Race for Life. My body did not feel like doing it. My post-nap drowsiness & headache made the sofa seem like a much more favourable option than running 5k. After all, I had only signed up to the Race for Life at the last minute, and hadn't done any fundraising, other than my own contribution, so it wouldn't really matter if I decided to stay home. 

I am so glad I didn't listen to my body on this occasion, and mentally overcame my physical weariness. Running with 3000 women to raise money to fight cancer is a far more powerful experience than running on the tredmill in the gym for a bit, then going home. I didn't know whereabouts on the Downs the race was starting from, but I knew I didn't need to worry. I just needed to look for the sea of 3000 ladies dressed in pink, who would most definitely stand out. 

One of the items you get in a Race for Life Pack is a sign that says, 'I race for life for' then leaves a big blank space for you to write who you're running for. You cannot help but be moved by the number of names & messages you see that speak of family & friends whose bodies have been riddled with cancer; people who have fought & won their battles, and those whose bodies could fight no longer. 

At the starting line I was stood behind two teenage girls. One had written on her back 'I race for life for all of the teenagers who are fighting cancer. I fought & won 5 years ago.' Next to her, the girl's sign read, 'I'm running for my sister. She's here with me today.' A lump rose in my throat, and tears welled in my eyes as I watched these two sisters interact with each other, thinking of their thankfulness that they still had time with each other, because this time, cancer had not won. 

The messages & names that people had lovingly written on their backs gave a glimpse into the pain & suffering they have shared in, in a way that you wouldn't otherwise have. When we pass people on the street, I wonder how often we think about the painful events in their lives that they are carrying. To run alongside women who are wearing their hearts on their sleeves, along with their joy, sorrow and determination, is a marvelous thing indeed. 

Thankyou, Vicki, for insipiring me to run the Race for Life.

on running

For the last six weeks I have been going to the gym. I haven't been a member of a gym for the last decade (wow, that makes me feel old), but having reached a complete lull in my running, and lacking in motivation to get out the door and do some exercise, I thought the gym might be helpful.

In many ways, the gym has been very helpful. To be able to see the distance I am travelling, to have a program to stick to, and push myself beyond it when I feel able, to feel the burn in places that haven't felt it for a long while - all of these elements have been helpful for me.

When you have a considerable break from running, there is always that feeling of dread in going back to it. You know it won't be easy at first. You know you will feel like you are dragging your body kicking and screaming, and the only thing that's keeping you going is that tiny piece of will power that has got you out the door in the first place. I have found going back to running on a treadmill, rather than outdoors, has been good for me. Rather than worrying about how long I'm running for, the end has always been in sight, because I've only been doing 15 minute stints. In having this short length of time as my window, the running feels contained, like it's not going to get away from me. I feel like this has freed me up to push myself in different ways - to build up speed and keep it sustained. I have been disciplined with it, and set myself little challenges each time I run, to go that little bit further and a little bit faster. And it has worked.

Yesterday, I ran outside for the first time in a few months. While I knew I'd have a more sustained and harder workout at the gym, I also felt like I needed to fill my lungs with fresh air and to be surrounded by green trees as I ran, rather than walls. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I could run forever. It didn't feel like I needed to stop and lie down after 3 minutes, and I wanted to keep going. I didn't know how long I'd run for, or where I'd go, and that didn't bother me in the slightest. It felt like the good old days, and I loved it.

Note to self: I've just looked back at the posts I've written on running, and in nearly every single one, I mention the mental battles I faced. Even at my running peak, I would find it hard, and this is helpful to know. It also makes me think that I did not write enough about the good running times, because I know there have been plenty.

capacity

About four years ago, in 2006, I started to run. I ran with my good friend Ros and we would chat away the miles, not realising how far we were running. 

The more we ran, the further we went. We pushed ourselves beyond the boundaries that our bodies and minds knew, learning physically and spiritually as we went. We ran in all weathers, greeting the dawn of the day in Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Morning was our preferred time for running - with Ros being a Mum of three and I being a university student with a job - we had children and work to attend to.

Four years on, and I often wonder at how we did it. Let me explain a bit how things have changed. Until a year ago, I was running regularly, rarely having a break of more than a few days for my body to rest. This changed when I met John. In the early days of our relationship, I was living on far less sleep than my body had ever been used to, still working my two jobs that started at 8 in the morning and ending at 7 in the evening. They were long days and with this wonderful new man in my life who I needed to give time to, my capacity for running changed.

When we got engaged in March of this year, I felt a shift in my capacity again. I was now planning a wedding in any spare minute I had, working at school and childminding, and trying to maintain a relationship in a way that meant we didn't spend every moment together wedding planning. I physically felt like I did not have the strength to run. During those months, I consoled myself in the fact that my body was being exercised through my daily cycling to work. In those months of engagement, running would not have served as a means of strengthening me spiritually, it would have felt like a chore, something that I thought I should do rather than something I enjoyed doing.

Now, eight months on from our engagement, we are now married, and I find my capacity changing once again. I remember once asking my church leader if he had found his capacity increasing as he grew older. At the time of asking the question. I felt like my life was very full with different responsibilities and roles and could not envisage the day when I found it easier to juggle so many balls. In his wisdom, he explained to me that in marriage, your capacity increases. You are joined with another person to become one. In that process of joining and growing together in marriage, you are strengthened and enabled by the different skills and abilities of your spouse. This is something that I have found to be very true so far in the very short time I have been married. When one of us feels weak, the other is able to buoy the other up, spurring on where one might have otherwise stopped.

The week after we returned from our honeymoon, I started my PGCE - Post Grad training to become a Primary School teacher. The course splits my time between lectures at university in Bath, and teaching at a school in Portishead. Where I was once able to cycle to my jobs, I now have to spend about 5 hours a week driving. My mode of transportation slows me down completely and reduces my physical activity to the point where I have started to feel like I need to run again. I need to get my body moving, to remind it of what it is capable of. To stretch my complacent limbs and feel the gentle ache of good exercise. My capacity is once again changing due to other areas of my life slowing down.

On Tuesday evening as I ran, I thought about how the slowing down and settling of my life has caused my capacity to run to increase once again. In one sense I am now travelling greater distances than before, but in a way that requires nothing of my body.  In making my body redundant, it's as though I am realising what it needs to be doing to feel more alive and well. As I ran, it felt like my body was remembering how to respond well to being pushed physically. I loved the feeling of my feet and my heart pounding to the rhythm of the music in my ears. All that I could feel was my body responding to these things, as though running on autopilot, not having to consciously take every step as my body yelled at me to 'stop!' because it hurt. 


The memorable quote made by Eric Liddell in the film Chariots of Fire came to mind while running through the streets of Bristol: 

'...when I run, I feel God's pleasure...'

There is pleasure to be had in running and I love that I am starting to remember that pleasure again, where for so long, that pleasure has been replaced by complacency & weariness.

Sunday.

Sunday 10th May saw the dawn of the Bristol 10k race. Having carbo-loaded the night before on a vast amount of pasta that I could not finish, I awoke at 6.20am to have my trusty breakfast of weetabix, banana & sultanas. Then went back to bed for another hour and a half. Yep, that's right. I've found the best way to combat race day nerves is to sleep as much as possible until it's time to leave.

The night before, I had arranged to get a lift to the race with a friend from church who was also running. What an amazing woman - she has four small children who she home schools, and has time to run. It didn't really make sense for me to get a lift with her as I live very close to the start of the race, but it is far better to be with people than alone. It was a lovely memory, to walk down Park Street in convoy with 1000's of other runners on their way to the running village, holding the hands of two small boys whose little legs were running to keep up with my leisurely pace.

It's funny how memory works. As I cast my mind back to that morning, everything is in snapshots:

Little hands
Lots of runners
A lady kneeling by the roadside, replacing her fallen contact lens
Sense of pity. I can empathise
The sight of Bristol Cathedral & college green drawing near, signifying our proximity to the race venue
Excited phonecall from a friend whose husband's running too. Desperate to beat me. Thankful for cake
Photo time. With the kids. Wondering if I'll ever see the photos. Wondering at how I never get any of my own.
Toilet time. Long long queues. Stretch.
Oh gosh look at the time. Run to the start line.
I've lost the family. I'm on my own again.
Take up my position with the 'elite runners', much to my surprise that I am in this category.
Surprised at how 8000 people feels like a small number when you can see the front runners from where you're standing.
A man holding a banana. I say, 'Are you going to eat that as you run?!'
He tells me how he'd forgotten he was holding it til I mentioned it and starts to eat it. It's been a rushed morning for him. Only decided at the last minute he was fit enough to run.
The countdown starts.
Earphones go in. Playlist on pause, ready to go.
Look at the clock. 1min 27 secs. Must remember to look at it as I cross the start line so I can work out my race time. I forget.
We're away. In the zone straight away.
My plan: To push myself for the whole 10k because I know my body can take it..
Loving the speed. Loving the sun. Nervous about dehydration but know it'll be over quick enough for it not to be a problem.
Counting down the kilometres.
7k. My body says it's time to slow down. My music says it's not. I keep the pace up.
400m to go. Sprint I tell myself. I want to stop right now. But it's only a few hundred metres! You've come 9600m so far!
See my friend poised with a camera. I smile & wave, spurred on to the finish.
Sprint, feel like I'm flying & my feet aren't touching the floor.
Beep beep beep over the finish line. Head spinning. Elated.
48mins49secs.

Oh yes, and this is the picture one of the girls in my class coloured in for me 'for your running' after she'd heard the news that I ran the same race as her mum:




Her Mum's comment - 'Don't take it personally!!'
I thought it was quite amusing. I'm hoping it's not a portrait...

i ran.

I wrote this blog entry into my phone last night just before going to sleep. I had all of these reflections & bold images going around my head that I did not want to lose through the duration of sleep. So this is the form they came out in, and I decided to leave them that way.

Tiny purple dots on the horizon,
the afterimage of the sun imprinted on my retina,
held there only by my fixed gaze. As soon as I move, so will the little purple haze.

I lie down, still feeling the heat generated from my run coarsing around my muscles. Feeling the gentle ache, the effect of running on my body.

Remember the completely intoxicating scent of pollen filling the springtime air, the trees bending their boughs over me as I run through them
ushering their own little greeting
speaking of life overhead.

The sight of a breeze so gentle that I cannot feel it.
I only know of its presence by the leaves overhanging the gorge, set in motion.

Conscious of my breathing, my heartrate.
Conscious that it becomes an unconscious thing under the rhythm of the music in my ears.
Amazed that this can be so.
That my heart can be pounding but I do not feel it.

giddy

...is the way that seems to fit the effect the recent splurge of sunshine has had on me. Giddy to the point of signing up to do a 10k run in 7 weeks time. It's amazing the effect a little sunshine & listening to some of my favourite running tracks as I cycle can have on me. While this is the shortest race I will have completed, it will still be no mean feat. Running has just not come naturally to me these last 5 months. The prospect of it has been enough to make me want to cry. So I haven't been running. But I resolve to overcome the mental & emotional battles that have stopped me from running - through prayer & perseverance.

Hellrunner.

So, the day which had been filling me with nerves & getting into my dreams, finally dawned on Sunday 16th November. Hellrunner time. Fourth half marathon in fourteen month, only with a bit more of a twist than the last three. Running through bogs, up and down sand dunes and away from roads, on a military training base where signs heralded, 'Caution: Military firing range...If you see a military object, do not step on it, it will explode.' Or something along those lines.

There was a wonderful atmosphere about the setting - aside from the guy bellowing down a microphone, 'You asked for hell - we're giving you hell!!!' Well, not exactly, but ok. It was a much smaller affair than the big city marathons, which I loved. Fireworks went off as the starting gun fired, along with a whole lot of wooping from runners & supporters alike.

In all honesty, it was the most fun run I have ever done. While it was lovely to have lots of supporters along the whole route running in Bath & Bristol, it was actually quite nice to be running alongside fellow runners but away from the crowds. It's amazing once you get into deep conversation how quickly 12 miles can go.

The bogs were a highly comical experience. There really is no way you can run through murky stinking water that comes up to your shoulders, so you just wade on through, trying not to trip over branches that lie in wait unsuspectingly underfoot. So I looked quite a sight, emerging from the stinking swamp, with just the tops of my shoulders showing the true gleaming white colour of my t-shirt, and the rest of me rather blackened. Beautiful.

After finishing the run, we made our way to a very lovely pub nearby - the Jolly Farmer - for some much needed grub. They served the fattest sausages I have ever eaten. (Other than the sausages the children have been making at school this week with playdough, though I hasten to add that I have not eaten those ones.) With contented bellies & slightly weary bodies, we made our way back to Bristol, and had (though I can only speak for myself) the best night's sleep in a long time. Good times.

thankful for the little things...

I am thankful for this day - a day of rest - that has given me time to...

:: Drink huge mugs of coffee with a precious friend

:: Peruse the books in Borders

:: Watch Little Dorrit

:: Read my new Recipe Book

:: Create

:: Cook a little

:: Be inspired

:: ...and rest.

Tomorrow shall not be so restful. Tomorrow, it's time for Hellrunner. Oh help.

my latest challenge

There's something about this running malarchy...I don't quite know what but it's starting to get me to do crazy things at an alarming frequency. On November 16th, just 2 months after the Bristol half marathon, I'm going to be taking part in Hellrunner. A 12 mile trail run at Longmoor Camp which is an army training base. As if that doesn't say enough what kind of a run I'm in for, every photo and you tube video available from this run features people plastered in mud or wading through waist-deep rivers. This is taking running to a whole other level for me.

Am I prepared for it? Well, according to the man in the running shop, 'nothing can prepare you for that!' Well, I suppose that's encouraging! So yesterday I did a 10 mile run with Dan, the one responsible for me doing this, and ended up with a nice set of fat blisters, thanks to my new trail running shoes. It's going to be fun! It's just a shame no-one will be there to provide photographic evidence of me doing it.

just keep running...

I realised the other day that I have not really kept a record of my training for the Bristol Half Marathon. I also realised that I have been 'in training' for the last nine months as I didn't take a break from running between completing the Bath Half in March and deciding to run the Bristol Half again. In some ways, training has just become part of my normal routine. However that is not to say that it has been easy. Some days it felt like I was pulling my body through a sludgy swamp. This time round I've felt the physical effects of running on my body, with achey knees and a back that feels like it's compacting, I feel like I'm wearing my body out too quickly.

Having been struck with a stinking cold and a hacking cough for the last 8 days, I knew that I was unlikely to be running like road-runner, but have been telling myself I can do it, it's all about mind over matter. The day started misted and cold, changing to glorious sunshine by 8.30am. Not the best conditions for running in. I felt pretty calm - I seem to have got the hang of not allowing nerves to get to me on the race day as I know there's no need to be nervous - and so enjoyed the atmosphere created by 16,000 runners getting ready to run the 13.1 miles. As I lined up at the start line, it was lovely to have my friend's 4 year old daughter Phoebe (one of my favourite children) shouting my name from the sideline.

I started off well, running 8 minute miles for the first 8 miles which I totally had not anticipated doing, so took myself by surprise. But I could not sustain this speed so slowed down to a more leisurely 9 minute miles. It's quite amazing how the last 3 miles feel like they're getting longer and longer - by the last 1 I was so desperate to see the finish line, and so, so thankful to finish, as my head had started feeling rather fuzzy by this point. I walked the 40 metres to collect my medal and goodie bag (providing me with some much needed chocolate) in a total daze. I seemed to have lost control of my legs and so was totally unable to walk in a straight line. I don't think I have ever craved food as much as I do when I run half marathons!

I made one slight mistake and did what all the training programmes and running magazines tell you not to do - I wore a new pair of shorts that I bought yesterday - which made for some rather nasty chaffing : (

huffing and puffing

I'm having a little trouble with getting running today. Well, not really just 'a little trouble' that makes it sound like it might actually happen. I've resigned myself to the fact that it's not going to today. I feel like I'm still recovering from Newday - the youth camp I was at last week - so I didn't fancy getting up at 6.30 this morning to run for 100 minutes before church. I figured I could just run this afternoon but then I came home after having a late lunch and fell asleep for two hours. Gosh that is a pretty boring post but I felt like I needed to write it as a record or how my running's going. On the up side, on one of my runs at Newday, I overtook another runner, who I then saw later as we queued for the showers. She asked how my run was and said she'd tried to step in time with me but couldn't keep up and that my legs were pumping like pistons!! Funny description, but I like it.

Ethereal...

Bank Holiday Monday saw the St Werburgh's City Farm May Day Celebration, so I headed down to the festivities with Helen and one of my housemates. We made wreaths out of willow, and Helen said that I looked ethereal...Our wreaths were the only thing that made us blend in ever so slightly with the hippy going, eco-loving people of St Werburgh's. Although having said that, I am eco-loving, and when I have babies I do want to carry them round in sari slings which Helen finds highly amusing.

Today on my run, I ate my first fly of the year. I tried to cough it up, but I'd already inhaled it too deeply. Sorry little fly.

introducing...my sunflower babies

I thought I'd take the opportunity to introduce you to my sunflower babies. Some of them are definitely healthier than others. Just in case you were wondering why they all have pink bows tied round them, it's not an attempt to make them look even prettier, but an attempt to teach them to grow upright, rather than at a 90 degree angle, which was their preferred stance. Ah babies, you'll learn in good time, don't worry.



The picture below was taken on a run I went on last week when I was away at training in Bracknell. This lovely shelter was in Lily Hill park, which was very cool and beautiful, especially on the misty, rainy morning that I went there.

Yesterday's news

Well, my new personal best marathon time has quickly become yesterday's news as the events of this week have unfolded. (For those of you who don't know yet, I ran the Bath Half Marathon in 1 hour 55 mins and 11 seconds.)

I mentioned a few posts ago how although I might have had a few hiccups in my childminding, at least I've never forgotten a child. Believe it or not, that happened on Monday. In all fairness, it was not exactly my fault. I'm way too tired to explain the whole story, but I can assure you that I felt quite sick when it all unfolded and spent about half an hour playing over the conversation I envisaged ensuing with my employers where they kindly told me it wasn't working out, and please would I leave. This did not actually happen, and I still have the job, until May at least (which is when we've booked up until).

Yesterday I picked up my beautiful new bike, which really is wonderful. Only problem is, the bonding process needs a bit of working on, as she threw me off into the road today, leaving me with a skinned elbow, a very painful arm and shoulder, a bruised and cut hip (through a bodywarmer, a hoodie, a long sleeved t-shirt and a vest, I might add), and a cut knee. What actually happened was that I had just left my house and was putting in my earphones when a car pulled out from the church car park. I didn't think she'd seen me, so I breaked with my one free hand, which happened to be the front brakes. Funnily enough, breaking with one hand is not the wisest thing in the world if you want to stay on your bike rather than come face to face with the road and lose your shoe in the process. I didn't have time to be shaken up as I had to get Will from school, and was already slightly pushed for time, due to the first crisis of the morning. (See next paragraph.)

Rewind to 6.45am this morning. Jo and I are standing in the kitchen and for some reason Jo's nose has led her to believe that there's a funny smell coming from the cupboard with the boiler. When she asked me if I could smell anything I said, 'No, but there is steam coming out of the cupboard. Ummm...why is there steam coming out of the cupboard?! Oh gosh, there is water pouring out of the cupboard - what on earth is going on?'

Turns out we have a major leak and all of the electricity in the house, except the lights, went out. In our wisdom, we did not reset the switch in the fuse box for the electricity, as we all know that water and electricity are the best of friends and get a little too over excited when they see each other, so it's best to avoid this scenario at all costs. (Can you tell that I am a little bit tired by the way that I am writing?!) So no hot showers for us in the morning. Thankfully we have a wonderfully helpful man who sorts us out when we get into situations like this, and he has arranged for the emergency gas man to come round tomorrow morning and fix our pipes. The fun never stops here!!

balloons part 2

The balloons pictured below have been sitting high up in the tree tops near where I live for over a week now and seem to be faring well. I like them, I'm sorry this photo does not do them justice.


Here is some grafitti that is also near my house, which makes me chuckle - it is very accurately Bristolian.

(That's the camel speaking!)

And here's what my fingers looked like after my 10 mile run this morning. I'm getting slightly concerned about this - when I get back from a long run, I lose the feeling in my fingertips for a while. Normally it's my two middle fingers, but today it was the top twp joints of all eight of my fingers. It feels very bizarre, washing my hair with no feeling in my fingers.

Today has been spent at church. I was leading the kids work this morning. I really do love them, even though they just wouldn't stop talking today. It's nice that they want to tell me all their thoughts and all about their worlds, and the things they're learning about. They're a great bunch who are all growing up too fast.

good post

I was pleasantly surprised this morning when I heard the thud of post on my doormat, and found my new passport had arrived. I posted my application less than a week ago, so I think such a fast turn around is thoroughly impressive. The only thing which dampened my excitement slightly was the fact that they have retained my old passport. I had a recollection of old passports being sent back with one corner snipped off. I had accumulated a nice set of stamps and visas from a good sized handful of countries, and now I just have a whole lot of blank pages to fill. I know that losing my old passport does not mean the memories of my adventures are lost or forgotten, but there's something nice about being able to look back at old passports in years to come and marvel at the stamps of different languages and nations all huddled closely together between pages.

I went for a run this morning, and yet again, my lack of a sense of direction was grossly evident. I managed to get lost. In a field. I just couldn't find my way out. I kept hitting dead ends and getting tangled up in thorns, leaving me with multiple puncture wounds. It turned out that the reason why I was having difficulty finding my way out of the field was because I had forgotten that I had come through another field to get to the one I was in, and I was looking for landmarks that I had mentally noted in the first field, in the second. Needless to say, I did eventually get out after 15 minutes of wandering. It was quite fun really, being in a new place, with the sun shining beautifully and the sky a glorious shade of blue, and knowing that somewhere in the field were a couple of deer which I had spotted when I jumped over the gate upon arrival. Not what you'd expect to see in the middle of the city.

note to self

I want to have a bit of a record of my experiences of marathon training so that when I look back in 20 years time and think, 'how on earth did I ever run that far and that often? It must have been because I was so young and fit', I will know that actually it did not - it does not - come easily. Pretty much every time I run I face a mental battle, from the time I drag myself out of bed to when I get home and stretch out my aching muscles.

Maybe I am young and fit, but I am pretty sure that your mental attitude has a whole lot to do with how much you can endure and persevere. Sometimes I think this makes more of a difference than your physical ability - especially at the stage of life I'm at now. I don't have any ongoing health problems at all, I'm not overweight, I have a pretty good diet, and unless I have pushed myself incredibly hard on a run, it takes me less than five minutes to get back to my resting heartrate. Today was not a fun run. It was just so windy. Before I got up I could hear the wind howling around the rooftops, which is always a sure sign that when you're out running, unless you're running with the direction of the wind, it will feel like an uphill struggle, even when you're not going up a hill (which is not very often in Bristol).

After 5 minutes I wanted to stop and go home. I felt like this for the whole of the 45 minutes I ran for. But I didn't. I just kept going. And I have to tell myself each time that I run and feel like this, that when I get home I will feel absolutely fine and will be glad that I did it.

i love laughter

I have had a lovely lovely weekend. Saturday was spent baking for church - I took some photos on my housemates digital camera but don't know where here cables are so can't upload them just yet. All in good time. Then after church on Sunday, I spent the afternoon with my wonderful friends from university, as it was Katie's birthday (my old housemate). I can honestly say I came near to wetting myself, or rupturing something as a result of raucous laughter. I was actually rolling around on the floor, crying and screaming at the pain in my stomach muscles. I cannot remember the last time I laughed that much. I love good friends. There's nothing like them.

This morning we had our Mum's group - we FPers get to look after the babies while the mum's get some quality time praying, worshipping and learning together. Pretty good deal, I say. I have recently made a little friend with a two year old called Caleb, who is one of the children we look after.. He is perhaps one of the most loveable children I have ever met, and he has this wonderful way of saying my name which I guess I can't quite put into words! Well, we had a great time today, playing with a toy drill, which he thought was hilarious to drill me with. It tickled a lot, so I couldn't help but make a lot of noise, which of course was delightful to Caleb. When it was time for him to go, he said Bye to me, and left the room. Then he came back again,with no prompting from his mum, and gave me a big hug and said, 'fank-ooo annahh'. What an amazing child.

This morning I went for a run, and went on a route that I have not been on for a while - along Watercress Rd (hence the photo) and through City Farm. I said hello to the pigs, and found out that you can do animal husbandry work experience with them, so Sarah, if you fancy a trip to Bristol, and want to learn more about livestock, etc, I've found the perfect thing for you to do in your holidays!!