What do Men Want?

from Japanese EIZO X-ray pinup calendar

WHAT DO MEN WANT?
DOES SHE DO VULCAN MIND MELD
ON THE FIRST DATE?

I want your bra size, baby
Fax number, E-mail address,
Modem com code, ID,
Phone machine access.

Give me your thumb print, password,
Blood type and credit check;
Give me your antibody spectrum;
Give me your human genome specs.

Wanna tweak your web site, blog and Twitter,
Poke your Facebook's Google maps;
Sniff your panties while I'm running
Telepathic Apple iPhone apps.

Let's break bread together, baby,
Exchanging cryptographic primes;
Let's connect our pores and USB ports
Let's do high-speed, broad-band, real-time.

Velcro'd at the chakras
Let's circulate our chi;
Let's indulge in covalent bondage;
Let's communicate in C.

I wanna swim in your gene pool, mama;
Snort up your pheromones close range;
Tune into your neurotransmitters;
Introduce you to Doctor Strange.

I wanna surf your quantum potentia;
Mess with your thermostat;
Wanna tour your molecular orbitals;
Wanna feed your Schrödinger cat.

Let's surgically merge our organs:
Our kidneys, our lungs, and our hearts;
Let's read physics journals together
And laugh at the dirty parts.

Let's Bell-connect our bellies
With some quantum-adhesive glue;
Let's do new stuff to each other
That Newton never knew.

Wanna feel your viscosity, honey
Dissolve my categorical mind;
Let your female force field vectors
Deform my male spacetime.

Let's dance at warp speed, dearie
Go back before B. C.
We'll dress in period costumes
And make love to our family trees.