Almost Made Me Cry

Before she goes to bed each night, Amy likes to give Noel a hug and mooch (or in "Fanitch," abrazo y beso.) Tonight she gave Noel her mooch and then whispered "I love you" to her with no prompting from me. I thought it was so sweet.

Tuesday the 18th

Tuesday, August 18th 2009

In the morning we went to Gloucester (pronounced Glaw-ster, no one knows why) Beach. It was an excellent beach but cost $20 to get in. There were very small waves so it was great for kids and it left lots of tide pools that were fun. Amy was scared to go into the ocean, but after she got to swim and play in a tide pool for a while, she was much more brave. In the tide pool she would say "Stand up" and "Sit dooooown", a game she still enjoys in the tub. She also said "fun!" a number of times. She had a great time. Due to the sandy and wet nature of the beach, we left our camera behind so sorry but no pictures of that one.

From there we left to head back home, but on the way, stopped by a local ice cream stand called Captain Dusty's. Here, I should explain how awesome my sister-in-law is. She knows I love ice cream and so she found a couple sites listing all the best Boston and New England ice cream shops. These were all places that made their own, as opposed to some ice cream scoop shop that sells purchased grocery store brand or something. We stopped at a number of them during our trip. I wish I could remember what flavor I ordered, as they had a variety, but one thing I do remember was the lady who came up with her dog and ordered a dog sundae. They put a scoop of ice cream on doggy treats. The lady then put it on the ground and her dog loved it! It surprised and delighted me!

Next, we headed home, showered and changed as quickly as possible, and left toward Vermont. On the way there, we had to drive through New Hampshire. I mention it simply because it's another state I can now say I've been to! The drive through New Hampshire and Vermont was amazingly gorgeous! It is such pretty country. We drove until we arrived at "Camp Joseph" in Sharon Vermont. Camp Joseph is great! It's run by a missionary couple, costs only $20 / cabin / night to stay there (a cabin sleeps 4, or 5 with a pac-n-play) and it was a fun, beautiful place in Sharon Vermont right next to the monument of Joseph Smith's birth. This video is probably the best way to get a feel for it:

I wish I had a picture of the "Waters of Mormon" that I mention in the video, but somehow I missed getting that shot. We had a lot of fun swimming (I didn't get wet this time, but enjoyed watching everyone).

I appreciated the setup. It's my kind of camping - cabins, bathrooms, and showers. I guess they could have had little mud rooms and electricity in the cabins, but then I might not get away with calling it camping! (I'm not the hugest outdoorsman let's just say.)

(Our nephew Tyler with a firing S'more)

We had fun eating tin foil dinners, roasting S'mores, and just chatting... until it started to rain. We took that as a sign to turn in for the night.

Monday the 17th

We left for Boston on Monday, August 17th 2009. We had spent the night at Bonnie's rents (parents) house as they live fairly close to the airport. Our flight left at not too unreasonable an hour in the morning (8-ish or something). I frankly was quite concerned at how the girls would do on the plane and thought I would want to poke my eye out by the time we got to Boston, but they did quite well. Our flight took us to Cincinnati and we had enough time there to grab some food as our path from one gate to the other took us through the food court.

We got in line for McDonalds and, as we got to the front, Bonnie told me her order so we didn't have to continue lugging all of us and our stuff through the line. She told me she would start going and that I could catch up. Sounded good to me - we didn't have SO much time, so we didn't want to eat there in the food court. Well, I got the food and started walking toward our gate. Evidentally, Bonnie had stopped just outside the food court waiting for me and somehow I had to have walked passed her w/o either of us seeing each other.

So, I walked on to the gate, continually hoping I might catch up to Bont, and yet never did. I got all the way to the gate and was really hoping she was there... and she wasn't. I knew she knew which gate to go to and generally how to get there, so I figured that, well, if we were going to meet up somewhere, we'd have to come to the gate eventually. So there I waited and started eating. It took Bonnie quite a while (she was walking with Amy who had a Doggy-back-pack/leash on) to get there and I was sure relieved to see her. When she arrived, boarding was just starting, so she scarfed her food and we got on the plane. (This is Bonnie. The thing that really took me the longest was that I had a stroller and a car seat plus Amy on her leash. That works just fine when Amy rides in the stroller or even if she walks with her leash on, I can get by. But when Amy melts down on the floor of the airport, and I'm left to carry her and a car seat and a stroller, it doesn't work so well. Amy was melting down all over the place - it was nap time, and she promptly fell asleep on the next airplane - and really cried when I told her she couldn't play in the play area we saw. It was a pretty miserable journey across the airport. A kind woman helped me part of the way. What a relief it was when I saw Matt!)

We actually flew into Rhode Island (first time in that state for me! Yay - another state to check off!). Now, because Amy was still under 2 (she turned 2 on August 31st), we didn't have to pay a ticket for her - which means we only had two seats for all 4 of us. However, each leg of the flight there, we were able to arrange with the attendant at the gate to get next to an empty seat. Thus, we had a little more room. Whew! I was very impressed with our girls on the airplane. Amy did pretty well at not kicking the seat in front of her and not playing too much with the tray that comes down. She was great! (Because Bonnie needed to feed Noel at Noel's whim, she held Noel on the flights and I held Amy.)

Arriving in Rhode Island, we got our rental car, dropped by the Wendy's we saw right there, and off we went. Driving back east is a bit different for me. Everyone seems to drive a little slower and... I dunno, it was just... different. It's beautiful back east though - everything is trees everywhere - so green. And who knew there was a tunnel all the way under downtown Boston! That was fun!

When we got to the Arnolds it was... I want to say around 6 or so? We were pretty tired, but between finally arriving and seeing the Arnolds, we couldn't help but be excited. We jumped on their tramp and had an enjoyable casual evening.

Boston

So in August we went to Boston for our family vacation to visit Laurel (Burns) Arnold and her family. Burns is Bonnie's oldest sister. I've been meaning to blog about this ever since then, but have hit the ground running since we got home and even still, I don't know how much I'll get to tonight, but... I gotta start if I want to make any progress, so here goes.

Me and the Girls

Tonight was the General Relief Society broadcast that accompanies every fall General Conference. As such, it was my opportunity to be with Amy and Noel tonight, and I wanted to mention the grand time we had.

To make sense of our evening, some context is required. About 4:29 we woke our girls up from their naps so we could go to our 4:30 home teaching appointment. We had way too much fun talking and getting carried away, so we ended up leaving at 5:50... with the broadcast to start at 6:00, not to mention that I'd told someone I'd meet her at the stake center at 5:45 to open the Library. We went over to the Stake Center and I jumped out of the van to open the library and found that she had found someone there to open it for her (good for her). So I ran back out to the van at which point Bonnie got out so she could go in for the broadcast. (It was also planned that she was having some "girls night out" time afterward.) Amy was quite sad to leave Mom and said "Church, Mom" in a cry-ey voice all the way home.

During the home teaching visit, Noel had pooped, and Amy had peed through her diaper, diaper cover, and pants. She was quite wet. So I dropped Bonnie off and headed back home to change diapers. I changed Amy's first since I didn't want her to touch anything with her wetness. I got her diaper into the bathroom then headed for Noel. It was about this time I realized that I had intended to go get a pizza for dinner for us. Doh! With the dirty diapers, I had forgotten! So while I changed Noel, I brainstormed.

I got Noel changed and into our bedroom (where Amy couldn't get her) and started spraying out their diapers, still thinking. I decided that we'd still go get Pizza, and that, since Mommy was having her night out, why shouldn't we! So I got their diapers cleaned up, got clothes on both of them, then got the diaper bag all packed (including sweaters and frozen milk for Noel) and off we went. On the way to Little Caesars, Amy saw the top of the church steeple from Orem Blvd and said "Church, Mom. Church Mom." I was impressed she remembered everything so well, but... doh! I said "Yes Amy, Mommy's at the church." Luckily, she didn't get as sad as when we originally left her there. Amy loves her Mommy!

Continuing on, I wanted to eat the Pizza someplace where it wouldn't be too busy, and I also wanted to go get ice cream, but I couldn't think of good place that wouldn't be packed after the broadcast let out. As I was leaving from Little Caesers, I remembered seeing a coupon we received in the mail (which I consequently forgot to use, but that's beside the point) for Yo-Zone. So we went back home, I ran in, grabbed the coupon, and off we went. It had the chance of being crowded too, but it just didn't seem like it would be as bad as some places.

Upon arriving, (with Amy saying "more pizza" the whole way there), we went and sat at an outside table. The weather was wonderful and Amy pointed out the moon at least 10 times during our visit. We ate our Pizza with Amy never realizing we were sitting right outside an ice cream (well, a frozen yogurt) shop. Wonderful! Noel fell asleep on the way and stayed sleeping through most of our Pizza eating. As it turned out, there was a BYU game and this place was perfectly placed for us - too far away from the stadium for everyone to want to go there on their way in, but close enough that anyone around was going to the game. The place only had about 20 clients in the hour or so we were there. Great!

Finally, we went in for ice cream (asking some nice people sitting by us to watch our pizza and diaper bag while we went in). I like the place. You put your own frozen yogurt (choose any combination of 8 to 10 flavors), add toppings as you like (and they had good variety - syrups to candybars, nuts to gummi worms), and then weigh and pay. It's $0.36 / oz. Amy's was about $2 and mine was $4.

Amy loved it. As I was getting done with mine, Noel was starting to fuss. I knew she was hungry, but at this point, I wanted to just get home. So we picked up and got back in the van, Amy with her ice cream in hand (she was mostly finished, but still had enough left that I couldn't justify taking it from her). By this time, Amy was poopy (she had announced the deed while in progress during pizza time), and I was pretty sure Noel would be at least a little wet if not a lot.

When we got home, Amy had, as expected, dumped the last of her ice cream all over her and her car seat. Ah well - I asked for it. Noel was trying not to cry - what a champion she was this whole time. I got Amy out and she started waddling (I think partly because of being poopy and partly from having ice cream EVERYWHERE on her) toward our condo and saying "wipe". I quickly grabbed Noel and a few things I could carry, passed her, and opened the door. I put Noel safely inside then jumped back out for Amy. We had spent a good part of the day cleaning. I didn't really want her walking into the house like that... so I took her sweater (I had put it on during ice cream time as it was making us cold) and shirt off right outside our door. I think in Amy's book this was akin to high treason. She was not so happy with me and cuddled up right on the cement. But, kids are wonderful at forgiving (yeah - I need to be more like that), and by the time I carried her through the door and started straight for the bathroom, she was wanting snuggles. Cute, but no go. She still had her ice cream saturated pants on and I suspected that not all that moisture was ever uh, edible, shall we say. Once again, she quickly forgave me when I started the bath water and said "¿Baño?" We got her pants off and her poopy diaper, got her a quick wipe, and into the tub (sorry if TMI there).

Now Noel started to fuss back in the front room, so I told Amy I'd be right back. I ran and got Noel, grabbed her frozen milk out of the diaper bag, put a baggy of it in a bowl of hot water, and brought Noel back to the bath. For me it's scary to leave Amy in the bath even for a second without supervision, so this was a bit wild, but... you do what you gotta do I guess. Noel, once again the champion, was glad to be with us and stopped fussing! I then got Amy her bath toys and started spraying out her diaper. I tried to get Noel to smile, but it didn't work so well. She was hungry and just wasn't happy enough to smile, and yet was still not crying. Such a sweetheart. With the diaper washed out and into the washer with the others, I ran and grabbed the thawing milk for Noel and started heating it up in the vanity sink (should have done that from the start, but didn't think of it). Once her milk was warmed up, I got it in her bottle and got her up and ready to go and... she wouldn't take it! I even squirted it into her mouth by squeezing the nipple and she would take obligatory gulps, but cried and cried and cried and wouldn't take it. I double checked the milk's temperature and it was fine, but nothing going. I knew she was hungry though, so I decided it was time to call Bonnie.

I had learned from an earlier phone call from her that she was going to a ward friend's house to play games with some other ladies, so she was close by. After discussing it, she came and got Noel and took her back to the friends to nurse and continue playing. By the time she left (Amy never knew she was here... thankfully), Amy had had a long bath, so we wrapped up and put bath toys away. Amy was an angel here on out. She didn't put up a protest about much of anything. She was helpful at putting things away, she wanted snuggles at various times, and she went to bed wonderfully.

Now, I'm here and have written quite the novel, but what a fun evening out with my girls! And a never-underestimated but renewed understanding and gratitude for my wife's work!!! Hat's off to you Bonnie! You're the best!

My Thoughts

I wrote this Sunday night but didn't post it because I was unsure if anything I wrote in that stage of tiredness would be coherent. Now I read it and find it acceptable:

I was just thinking while getting into my pajamas and decided to share with all of you what I was thinking about.

A little sum-up of the day for background:
- the girls and I got to church at 9:30 for Ward Council stayed through 11:00 church and 2:00 choir practice. Then I had to feed Noel before we could get home. (If you heard her cries you would understand how urgent it was.) Then Amy insisted on seeing Daddy (who was still at the church.) As I was unwilling to wake up Noel for anything I couldn't physically make Amy come, and she would not obey me. I didn't feel up to fighting about it so we stayed til 4:00. 6 1/2 hours of church for a 2 year old.
- Amy only had about 45 minutes of a nap (while we were HT I might add - she was sitting on the 11-year-old daughter's lap)
- Amy and I both ate poorly today. Like snacks where meals should been. Her best meal was cinnamon toast crunch and cookie crisp. Yikes.
- We home taught and got home taught.
- I got orientated on my new calling.

The point here is, it was a long and tiring day. We were all exhausted.

Other background is that I was reading a few blogs of people who have hard things going on - sadness and/ or lots more kids to take care of and therefore lots of pressures that I don't have.

So this is where my thoughts begin. I was thinking about how reading others' experiences helps me remember how good I have it. I feel very blessed with my beautiful healthy children and my fantastic husband. And yet, just because others have things more difficult than mine, that does not take away the difficulty that I still struggle with.

I thought about how much time and attention my girls take up from me. Lots and lots and lots. And how much I want to do with my time that I'm not able to do because of how much time I need to devote to taking care of my kids and basic upkeep/ running the family. I get frustrated that I can't ever get anything done. Sometimes I am desperate to make headway.

For me some of that is compounded by Matt being gone as much as he is (and needing to spend a lot of time that he is at home working on his calling.) Add to that my new opportunity to serve in the primary presidency. (Yes, I am SO STINKING EXCITED about this new calling.) I am really striving to follow the examples of many noble wives of men who have served in leadership forever leaving the wives to do much of the home-work and the taking care of children themselves. I know many wives have WAY less help than I do and WAY more responsibilities. I want to carry my burdens cheerfully and gracefully the way they do.

Even as I occasionally feel exhausted and unable to carry my load or frustrated to find little time to work on projects or hobbies, I find my time taking care of my kids extremely fulfilling. I have heard of mothers feeling like they lose their identity and feel unfulfilled in the sometimes monotonous and never-ending tasks of motherhood (that never seem done because you just do them over and over every day.) While I feel the never-ending aspect and sometimes the monotony, I am grateful that it is not hard for me to find fulfillment in taking care of my kids. One reason is because of the love I have for them, but perhaps and even stronger reason is my strong conviction of the fact that there is absolutely nothing better I could be doing with my time and energy. It really helps to know that I am doing the most important work that there is - even when that most important work is undone faster than I can do it.

Morning Mishaps

Wouldn't it have been cool if today were Monday so I could have said Monday Morning Mishaps for the title?

Oh well.

This morning I came out of the bedroom to find that the refrigerator door had been cracked open by a hand towel all night. Yikes.

A little later I realized that last night I washed the diapers with the squirt bottle of spray n wash. I'm not sure how full it was, but it wasn't empty. Yikes yikes.

When we went to go get Amy from her room this morning she was pretty much in a lake. Apparently she had undone her diaper within her jammies. There was so much pee. Amy often gets pee everywhere so it doesn't really phase us; we wash her bedding multiple times a week. But this time there was TONS. Yikes yikes yikes.

That brings us to 8:00 this morning. What a way to start the day. Oh well. No big deal.

And the Day Ended up Great

An update on yesterday was that the whole day turned out wonderful! I loved it!

In the evening, we had potential for problems. The dinner I had planned wouldn't work right so I had to switch meals using the chicken I had already thawed. Matt suggested Parmesan Chicken, and I jumped in. The problem was it took long enough that Amy was very hungry and grumpy by the time I was done. She ended up just having salad and chocolate milk for dinner.

A potential disaster was averted, however, in that Matt was gone most of the evening (bishopric meeting), and Noel was awake during much of my dinner making process. She had napped and then woken up in her bed and started sucking on her fingers. I bet she was awake for an hour and a half before she finally made a little cry. Just lying in bed by herself. It was what I needed in order to make dinner and get Amy fed. And try to keep her happy. I feel that the Lord helped Noel be peaceful and quiet so that I could take care of other things and of Amy. What a blessing! As a result, I managed to not freak out.

When I got Noel up, Amy and I had finished all her bedtime routine except prayer. So we prayed and snuggled on the rocking chair in the dark while I nursed Noel and sang Amy songs. I wanted to keep her calm, but I didn't want to just abandon her to bed since we usually dance with her a little before putting her down. Amy went down well, and Noel and I enjoyed our time together.

Matt came home for a few minutes (after an appointment at our neighbor's house that had taken him away from bishopric meeting) and ate a candlelight dinner with me. (It felt too fancy to eat just normally.) Off he went back to the church afterwards, and Noel was still being a calm sweet baby. She just hung out with me while I cleaned up dinner and did a load of dishes.

I then got her bath done and got her to sleep, folded some clothes, and lied in bed finishing Fablehaven 4. It was great and intense. What a pleasant way to end a WONDERFUL day!

I Love Today

It's beautiful weather outside - the kind that makes you love being outside.

We've had a productive day - done some good things, ran some errands, a little service - things that help you feel good.

And we've played! Wahoo! I got to see 3 adult friends, and Amy got to play with their toddlers (each of these friends has one child who is a friend of Amy's.)

And Amy has behaved like an angel. That can make any day good.

Yay!

China

I was just telling Matt that Amy likes to play pretend ni-night with Grammy. Amy stood up, said, "Grammy" and started to walk out of the room. We told her Grammy went to China, and she was up for that too. She said, "China" and walked out looking for China. She came back in the room and said, "Daddy... let's go." A few minutes later I said, "Amy, it's almost time to go... " (Ni-night was the correct response.) Can you guess the one Amy gave? China. We laughed a lot. Cute girl loves her Grammy.