This is one question it is NOT okay to ask an Iraq war veteran. I know this, although I've never been exactly sure why. Best I could figure, it is because a) that is an intensely personal question, kind of like asking a stranger if they've ever had an abortion and b) because the answer is most likely "yes" and I should know that and they probably don't want to talk about the war.
Recently I have become acquainted with an army veteran of some thirteen years, multiple continents and numerous conflicts, including Afghanistan and Iraq. Thanks to his courage to look within and work hard, he has done a lot of healing from the inevitable psychic wounds of war, and thanks to his generosity in sharing, I am learning a lot from him.
I asked this vet why the question is so taboo. He explained that, during the conduct of war, you have to do things that, in our civilian society, are unacceptable. In peacetime, killing another human being is murder, and it's wrong. In war, it is the business of war. You do it because you have to, because they are the enemy. You kill people, you see people killed, you witness horrible destruction and suffering. It is what you do in combat, yet part of you whispers that if you're doing this, you must be a bad person. Sometimes, that part becomes convinced.
When you come home, you put those things, the events of war you have lived through, into a fragile compartment in your mind and protect it carefully.
If you try to answer the question, "Did you kill anyone?," all of a sudden you are forced to dig into your mind, expose that fragile compartment, and relive it. Whether you have personally killed anyone or not, you have been at war. You have participated in the conduct of combat and now you have to look at yourself in the mirror. You want to be a good person, you try to convince yourself that you are a good person, but when you see again the scenes of combat and feel the contamination of war's aftermath, you feel like a bad person. The conflict is excruciating.
I have never, thank goodness, asked a vet that question. Now I'm sure I never will.
Showing posts with label war. Show all posts
Showing posts with label war. Show all posts
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Women Veterans in NM - some numbers
Yesterday I spent the day at a conference for women veterans, designed to provide information and resources for everyone from WWII WACs (and there were two of them there) to Viet Nam Vets to active duty OIF/OEF (Iraq/Afghanistan) personnel, and everyone in between. Not a veteran myself, but with a blossoming interest in a second career in veteran health, I went to learn. Here are some numbers I learned.
New Mexico has 200,000 veterans. Of these 16,000 are women. That's about 8%. Of all the veterans in NM, only about 40,000 have even applied for veterans services and benefits from the state. That means three out of five vets could be getting benefits they aren't getting. At the state level, these range from a free fishing license to scholarships and property tax breaks.
More women are currently in service. Of all American active duty, 15% are now women. The women vets I met and heard yesterday were all very proud of their service and deeply loyal to their country.
The presence of women in the military has brought to light a phenomenon termed MST, or Military Sexual Trauma. This is any kind of sexual harassment or assault experienced while in the military. The Veterans Administration now has a MST coordinator at every facility in the country. Every vet, male and female, who applies for services now gets asked if they experienced MST. They can answer "Yes," "No," or "I don't want to answer." In 2007, 25% of American women vets screened answered Yes.
Of course there was discussion of PTSD, and one speaker reviewed some of the alternate terms being considered for this. There's a move to get rid of the part that says "disorder" so as to reduce any perceived stigma. "Trauma Stress Injury" was my favorite of those mentioned.
There were more numbers, like Chapter 33, which is a GI bill specially for those who serve after 9/10/2001 in OIF/OEF. And 20%, which is how disabled you have to be to receive vocational rehab on the VA's penny. And 22, which is the number of days Shoshana Nyree, the first female American POW of the Iraq war, and our guest of honor, was held before the marines rescued her. (She has a book coming out soon titled Still Standing)
Numbers can be impressive. I know I was impressed with the number of services and benefits available to veterans. I believe they have earned it, and I hope it all helps. And I know that behind the numbers and the statistics are real live women and men, some damaged so badly that no matter what number of services they get they will never heal.
New Mexico has 200,000 veterans. Of these 16,000 are women. That's about 8%. Of all the veterans in NM, only about 40,000 have even applied for veterans services and benefits from the state. That means three out of five vets could be getting benefits they aren't getting. At the state level, these range from a free fishing license to scholarships and property tax breaks.
More women are currently in service. Of all American active duty, 15% are now women. The women vets I met and heard yesterday were all very proud of their service and deeply loyal to their country.
The presence of women in the military has brought to light a phenomenon termed MST, or Military Sexual Trauma. This is any kind of sexual harassment or assault experienced while in the military. The Veterans Administration now has a MST coordinator at every facility in the country. Every vet, male and female, who applies for services now gets asked if they experienced MST. They can answer "Yes," "No," or "I don't want to answer." In 2007, 25% of American women vets screened answered Yes.
Of course there was discussion of PTSD, and one speaker reviewed some of the alternate terms being considered for this. There's a move to get rid of the part that says "disorder" so as to reduce any perceived stigma. "Trauma Stress Injury" was my favorite of those mentioned.
There were more numbers, like Chapter 33, which is a GI bill specially for those who serve after 9/10/2001 in OIF/OEF. And 20%, which is how disabled you have to be to receive vocational rehab on the VA's penny. And 22, which is the number of days Shoshana Nyree, the first female American POW of the Iraq war, and our guest of honor, was held before the marines rescued her. (She has a book coming out soon titled Still Standing)
Numbers can be impressive. I know I was impressed with the number of services and benefits available to veterans. I believe they have earned it, and I hope it all helps. And I know that behind the numbers and the statistics are real live women and men, some damaged so badly that no matter what number of services they get they will never heal.
Monday, August 17, 2009
ROTC Physicals
I did three ROTC physicals today. ROTC stands for Reserve Officers' Training Corps. In return for financial assistance for their college expenses, students complete training sessions while in school, and fulfill a military commitment once they're out. They graduate as officers, bypassing the unlisted ranks.
My job was to make sure they didn't have any glaring physical problems or contagious diseases that would prevent them from doing the rigorous PT (Physical Training) program.
All three of these young people were vigorous, healthy and intelligent. Each had an upbeat attitude about their education and their future. They were polite and correct, answering my questions with "Yes Ma'am" and putting their best foot forward.
As I handed the finished paperwork to the last patient, he thanked me with a breezy smile. I looked at this young man, healthy and whole, and marveled that he and the others would voluntarily take this step. The first step on a path that could lead to unknown lands, to injuries of body and soul, even to death.
"Thank YOU for your future service," I responded. His face softened and this time his smile reached his eyes .
My job was to make sure they didn't have any glaring physical problems or contagious diseases that would prevent them from doing the rigorous PT (Physical Training) program.
All three of these young people were vigorous, healthy and intelligent. Each had an upbeat attitude about their education and their future. They were polite and correct, answering my questions with "Yes Ma'am" and putting their best foot forward.
As I handed the finished paperwork to the last patient, he thanked me with a breezy smile. I looked at this young man, healthy and whole, and marveled that he and the others would voluntarily take this step. The first step on a path that could lead to unknown lands, to injuries of body and soul, even to death.
"Thank YOU for your future service," I responded. His face softened and this time his smile reached his eyes .
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
PTSD - where does it hurt?
People speak of PTSD as if it were all the same.
"He fought in Iraq and now he has PTSD." End of story, as if those 4 little letters explain it all. Oh, yes, PTSD. Now we know what he's going through.
I don't believe it. Are all physical wounds the same? Of course not. You wouldn't say, "He had a fracture" and expect his suffering to be explained. There's a big difference between a fractured pinky and a fractured pelvis. You wouldn't say, "She has a flesh wound," and leave it at that. A laceration in the leg is worlds apart from a face half blown off.
Body parts matter when it comes to understanding wounds and healing. In the same way, I think mind parts matter when it comes to wounds of the psyche. I'm not talking necessarily about sections of the brain as an organ, although there is clearly correlation between the two, but about regions of the mind. What part was hurt? What coping pathway was railroaded? What belief system was shattered? What concept of self was blasted to smithereens?
It matters.
When the body suffers a wound, it helps to know what weapon delivered the damage. What about the mind? What was the weapon, the injuring event, the final blow? We need to know. It helps assess and predict the damage. It makes a difference.
Finally, what about healing? If it is a wound of the body, do we suture? Splint and cast? Perform surgery, even, perhaps, amputate? Do we provide medicine, pills, creams, crutches? Not all treatments are equal, because not all wounds are equal. It's ludricous to think otherwise.
So too wounds of the soul. What kind of healing is right for this crushed confidence? This lacerated faith? This broken, tender self? We can't treat them all the same, with the same drug cocktail, the same kind of therapy, even the same questions. It could be as bad as trying to sew a bone. Ineffective at best, at worst, deadly.
PTSD. The wounds are as individual as the wounded.
P.S. See this blog entry and the associated blog for an eloquent view of PTSD from the inside.
"He fought in Iraq and now he has PTSD." End of story, as if those 4 little letters explain it all. Oh, yes, PTSD. Now we know what he's going through.
I don't believe it. Are all physical wounds the same? Of course not. You wouldn't say, "He had a fracture" and expect his suffering to be explained. There's a big difference between a fractured pinky and a fractured pelvis. You wouldn't say, "She has a flesh wound," and leave it at that. A laceration in the leg is worlds apart from a face half blown off.
Body parts matter when it comes to understanding wounds and healing. In the same way, I think mind parts matter when it comes to wounds of the psyche. I'm not talking necessarily about sections of the brain as an organ, although there is clearly correlation between the two, but about regions of the mind. What part was hurt? What coping pathway was railroaded? What belief system was shattered? What concept of self was blasted to smithereens?
It matters.
When the body suffers a wound, it helps to know what weapon delivered the damage. What about the mind? What was the weapon, the injuring event, the final blow? We need to know. It helps assess and predict the damage. It makes a difference.
Finally, what about healing? If it is a wound of the body, do we suture? Splint and cast? Perform surgery, even, perhaps, amputate? Do we provide medicine, pills, creams, crutches? Not all treatments are equal, because not all wounds are equal. It's ludricous to think otherwise.
So too wounds of the soul. What kind of healing is right for this crushed confidence? This lacerated faith? This broken, tender self? We can't treat them all the same, with the same drug cocktail, the same kind of therapy, even the same questions. It could be as bad as trying to sew a bone. Ineffective at best, at worst, deadly.
PTSD. The wounds are as individual as the wounded.
P.S. See this blog entry and the associated blog for an eloquent view of PTSD from the inside.
Friday, January 23, 2009
PTSD and the Purple Heart
What kind of recognition and recompense should go to servicemen and women with PTSD? Not the Purple Heart, as recent news has made clear. Is this fair? Well, let's look at it.
The Purple Heart is a medal given to those who suffer physical war wounds as a result of enemy action. This medal is not given to those with PTSD. Never has been, even when PTSD was called "battle fatigue." The criteria for the Purple Heart can be seen here:
http://www.usmcvta.org/pheart/phcriteria.htm
From that site: A wound is defined as an injury to any part of the body from an outside force or agent sustained under one or more of the conditions listed above A physical lesion is not required, however, the wound for which the award is made must have required treatment by a medical officer and records of medical treatment for wounds or injuries received in action must have been made a matter of official record.
It goes on to specifically exclude PTSD.
Canada has a similar medal, called the Sacrifice Medal, which, interestingly, specifically includes mental injury, as follows:
Eligible cases include but are not limited to...mental disorders that are, based on a review by a qualified mental health care practitioner, directly attributable to a hostile or perceived hostile action.
I'm not convinced that the Sacrifice Medal would cover all cases of PTSD, but it goes farther in that direction than the Purple Heart does.
So how important is a Purple Heart? I've always thought that the Purple Heart was kind of an odd medal. It is often spoken of with awe, as if the recipient did something outrageously heroic. What they did was get injured. Were they heroic? Absolutely. Anyone who puts their life on the line in service to their country is heroic. Even those who did not get injured. Do injured service men and women deserve something more than those who were not injured? Well, yes. I believe they deserve to be treated and cared for, at our expense. Including those with PTSD.
PTSD is a war wound. A wound of the mind, heart and spirit. An invisible wound, yet deeper than any that sheds blood.
We can argue about who gets what medal 'til the cows come home. Frankly, I think they all deserve a hero's medal. But what's more important is that those who need care, whether for wounds of the body or wounds of the mind, get what they need. If this controversy helps bring PTSD to the forefront and gets those guys and gals some help, it's worth it.
The Purple Heart is a medal given to those who suffer physical war wounds as a result of enemy action. This medal is not given to those with PTSD. Never has been, even when PTSD was called "battle fatigue." The criteria for the Purple Heart can be seen here:
http://www.usmcvta.org/pheart/phcriteria.htm
From that site: A wound is defined as an injury to any part of the body from an outside force or agent sustained under one or more of the conditions listed above A physical lesion is not required, however, the wound for which the award is made must have required treatment by a medical officer and records of medical treatment for wounds or injuries received in action must have been made a matter of official record.
It goes on to specifically exclude PTSD.
Canada has a similar medal, called the Sacrifice Medal, which, interestingly, specifically includes mental injury, as follows:
Eligible cases include but are not limited to...mental disorders that are, based on a review by a qualified mental health care practitioner, directly attributable to a hostile or perceived hostile action.
I'm not convinced that the Sacrifice Medal would cover all cases of PTSD, but it goes farther in that direction than the Purple Heart does.
So how important is a Purple Heart? I've always thought that the Purple Heart was kind of an odd medal. It is often spoken of with awe, as if the recipient did something outrageously heroic. What they did was get injured. Were they heroic? Absolutely. Anyone who puts their life on the line in service to their country is heroic. Even those who did not get injured. Do injured service men and women deserve something more than those who were not injured? Well, yes. I believe they deserve to be treated and cared for, at our expense. Including those with PTSD.
PTSD is a war wound. A wound of the mind, heart and spirit. An invisible wound, yet deeper than any that sheds blood.
We can argue about who gets what medal 'til the cows come home. Frankly, I think they all deserve a hero's medal. But what's more important is that those who need care, whether for wounds of the body or wounds of the mind, get what they need. If this controversy helps bring PTSD to the forefront and gets those guys and gals some help, it's worth it.
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