Love's Compass

There's much to be said about our little community of blog world.. so many of our lives have been changed forever by places, people and things discovered here, as though they had been tucked away and hidden from us on purpose, only being revealed by the click of a mouse or a keyboard.

There are pitfalls though. Hidden beneath reams of heady words, poetry, songs and the touch of sentiment lie real people real pulsating hearts. We are all stirred by words, stilled by platitudes, roused by poems that rock our souls accepting them at face value never quite sure if they are real or a figment of the writers own (narcissistic) imagination, or ours.

Its difficult to tell what is real, and what we fill in with our own yearnings and desires. The one dimensional feel we get for people here can never be everything that the person actually is, and lets face it some folk online have an uncanny knack of making this their reality.

Ive done it myself, my long distance relationship here with K was testimony to that very fault. I fell in love with his words, and thought his writing was who he was, I was wrong, but by then it was too late. My heart was already entwined within his creative soul and my, that heart endured years of constant bruising as my reality and his unrealistic perceptions bumped and bashed their way painfully to a cruel conclusion.

The distance worked for and against us in many ways too, allowing us real time together yet still allowing us space to perpetuate the fantasy, as much as I wanted to think of a future together he refused to discuss it in any real practical way.

Now some months later, I find myself attracted to another. Having met here on multiply and having both been through the wringer as it were, we were both aware at how the internet allows us to 'fill in stuff' how we both could quite easily make the other someone we wanted them to be, and not really the person they truly are. So after a few emails, and not having read each others blogs (that we did later) we decided we should meet first and become blog friends afterwards if we wanted to. It was the right thing to do. Suddenly there was a real person sitting in my living room, not just a screen full of words, there was real skin to touch and real eyes to look into, a neck to nuzzle and strong arms to shut out the world. We are both very realistic romantics though, we know the pitfalls of this, the dangers of distance and being apart, we feel it daily, but we also know there is something deep here, something truly special and its based on reality and a profound sense of trust and togetherness, kindness and a wonderful sense of fun.

Tomorrow we are meeting halfway for a few days, wanting nothing more than to share time and real space as we grow and get to know each other out there in the real world.