I hoped the 2013 would be, for us, the Settle Down year. I suppose in some ways it has been and we will look back on the last 8 months and find it so. But it hasn't felt like that along the way (as my friend Miriam always says).
It has felt more like standing under a waterfall, and most of that has been church. The tremendous cascade of life change we are living in is exhausting and overwhelming at times but wonderful too. It is almost impossible to explain. The numbers start to give it context. The enormous crowds we had for opening and the Christmas services did not slack off much in the new year. I think our average attendance at Greenwood Campus for has been around 1600. We had 4 Easter services and 3200+ people. We sent 79 kids and 28 adults to the Gauntlet summer camp, and we hadn't even started our student ministry yet! Those folks came back PUMPED and we had over 2000 at church the next weekend. Perry came to Greenwood for a vision night and over 1700 people showed up. We had 3 services this past weekend and 2600+ people. The best part is 158 gave their lives to Jesus!!! That's why we do what we do. Statewide 38,277 came and 1496 people met Jesus. Can't help but celebrate. Our town and state are going to be DIFFERENT!
But as we say Every number has a name and every name has a story. I got to equip Care volunteers to meet and celebrate with those who responded. I got to hold Anna and introduce her to volunteers who helped her meet Jesus in the Care room. I got to see people I had met on the Equipping Tour start our new coffee service and invite people to enjoy some FREE java while they waited for the service. I got to pray with and for Jennifer as she traveled to another campus to bring a friend with her to church there. And that friend MET JESUS! Gave her life to him, in the midst of her terrible divorce. People we gave backpacks to at their children's schools last week came to church and accepted Jesus into their lives! The Wave is Rising! Every story matters to God.
So, our schedule has been crazy with church stuff. We moved Girls Night on Tuesday to Leah's house and added a couples group on Thursdays for Step Up. We are helping with the first weeks of Fuse on Wednesdays. Alan LOVED parking that first night. Ownership Class this Thursday night. Sunday night services start Sept 8th! Can hardly wait. Don't want to miss a thing.
So, mostly we nap. Not much bike riding, despite the unseasonably fall weather we've had this August. Lots of eating out (crap). Sold our Clemson football tickets. Who's got time for that?
Settled down? I don't think so.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
THE YEAR
This is a poem I wrote for my swim class Christmas party at the Y. They were expecting a game, like last year, if anything. But it was very therapeutic for me to write this and share it with them.
Think back over your life and pick THE YEAR. The one where everything happened. The one you got through but will never get over. Maybe you are one of the lucky few, for whom life didn’t happen “all at once” but 2012 has been that year for me.
When you struggle through that first month of the new year in darkness and grief, you cling to the hope that spring will come early and brighter days are ahead.
When March blows in like a lion and quite unexpectedly takes out your mom with a stroke, you lean in to each day and plod on to a destination every one reaches but no one wants to go to.
When you celebrate Easter at her graveside, with eggs for the children to hunt, you feel the chill of winter at your back and hope again for brighter days.
When you give away her things and pack up the home built with love by your parents specifically to hold their family, then you find yourself waving goodbye to another woman at her door.
When you sit through graduation thinking only of the motherless child crossing that stage into her adulthood, your heart feels like a stone in your chest.
When you confuse the message and are surprised to find its your mother-in-law in the hospital now, it’s five long weeks and a rare diagnosis. Then dialysis sounds almost as bad as cancer.
Adjustment on top of major life adjustment. Grief upon grief. And those headaches finally get a name – migraines.
Then one more phone call: I’ve got bad news. Another funeral, a young man full of life and brilliance, another part of the family devastated.
Finally, I could hang on no longer, and so let go and did all that you really can do. Trust God to lead you through, to make some sense of it all some day, to soften your heart through the suffering so you can be MORE than you were before. More sympathetic. More compassionate. More patient. More loving.
My family – as hurt as we all have been – has been amazing. We have pulled together and not pulled apart and continue to love and enjoy each other.
My young friends in my small group have brought out the best in me, have helped me embrace this middle phase of life with joy.
My older friends have shown me the way to stay healthy, to keep active and to think of others. (Blessings on you all.)
My career turned a major corner and I found my place. 20 years of work experience came together in one new opportunity to do something important for the community I have freely chosen to make my home.
My faith exploded as time after time God met my needs and exceeded my expectations with his favor and blessing. Now I have a church home in my town for the rest of my life.
Cut loose from my roots, rich as they were, I have put out my own tendrils, planted my life here, and am ready to celebrate the seasons of a new year with steadiness and growth.
(Thank you, my friends.)
I am home.
Think back over your life and pick THE YEAR. The one where everything happened. The one you got through but will never get over. Maybe you are one of the lucky few, for whom life didn’t happen “all at once” but 2012 has been that year for me.
When you ring in the new year in a hospital waiting for your husband’s only sibling to pass from this world, your
only hope is that this is the low point for the entire year.
When you struggle through that first month of the new year in darkness and grief, you cling to the hope that spring will come early and brighter days are ahead.
When March blows in like a lion and quite unexpectedly takes out your mom with a stroke, you lean in to each day and plod on to a destination every one reaches but no one wants to go to.
When you celebrate Easter at her graveside, with eggs for the children to hunt, you feel the chill of winter at your back and hope again for brighter days.
When you give away her things and pack up the home built with love by your parents specifically to hold their family, then you find yourself waving goodbye to another woman at her door.
When you sit through graduation thinking only of the motherless child crossing that stage into her adulthood, your heart feels like a stone in your chest.
When you confuse the message and are surprised to find its your mother-in-law in the hospital now, it’s five long weeks and a rare diagnosis. Then dialysis sounds almost as bad as cancer.
Adjustment on top of major life adjustment. Grief upon grief. And those headaches finally get a name – migraines.
Then one more phone call: I’ve got bad news. Another funeral, a young man full of life and brilliance, another part of the family devastated.
Finally, I could hang on no longer, and so let go and did all that you really can do. Trust God to lead you through, to make some sense of it all some day, to soften your heart through the suffering so you can be MORE than you were before. More sympathetic. More compassionate. More patient. More loving.
The question to ask is not “what else could happen to me?” The right question is “what else DID happen
to me? What else was there in this year?”
In my mother's house hung a frame - "Count your blessings not one by one but ton by ton."
In my mother's house hung a frame - "Count your blessings not one by one but ton by ton."
Can I even count all the blessings? First, my wonderful husband lost 45lbs and
transformed himself into a health nut.
My dream come true! He also
stepped up and served his family this year and made me very proud of him.
My family – as hurt as we all have been – has been amazing. We have pulled together and not pulled apart and continue to love and enjoy each other.
My young friends in my small group have brought out the best in me, have helped me embrace this middle phase of life with joy.
My older friends have shown me the way to stay healthy, to keep active and to think of others. (Blessings on you all.)
My career turned a major corner and I found my place. 20 years of work experience came together in one new opportunity to do something important for the community I have freely chosen to make my home.
My faith exploded as time after time God met my needs and exceeded my expectations with his favor and blessing. Now I have a church home in my town for the rest of my life.
Cut loose from my roots, rich as they were, I have put out my own tendrils, planted my life here, and am ready to celebrate the seasons of a new year with steadiness and growth.
(Thank you, my friends.)
I am home.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Life is good
I know. 5 months with no posts and now 2 so close together.
Without a doubt 2012 will go down in our history as the hardest year ever. Yet, as we got into Thanksgiving season and now Christmas, I started to think about how great this year has been. Alan lost weight and got healthy. Then he struggled with a sore knee (torn meniscus) and finally had it scoped/repaired in November. My health has been good this year, overall. Swim class three times a week keeps me going. Oh, except for the migraines. Those started in the spring and it took me a while to figure out what was going on.
Of course losing Alan's sister in January threw us for a loop and then his mom getting sick in June prolonged the recovery. But we are getting started in his family establishing a new normal. His mom is on dialysis 3 days a week but is doing really well with that. A new diet and schedule have been a HUGE adjustment for her and dad, but they are pulling together, not apart. Hannah is in college here in Greenwood and we see her a couple times a month. These holidays are going to be tough, but I think we will get through if we give ourselves a break.
My family has adjusted fairly well to Mama passing from this world. Strangely, losing the house might have been the toughest part. I've only driven by there once since July. We were tossed another zinger in September when Gabe died. It sounds remote that the loss of my sister-in-law's sister's son would affect us so terribly. Worst migraine ever the day of his funeral. So young, so bright and energetic. Too soon to leave.
My professional life changed dramatically in late September and October, when I gave up the legal life. November 1 I became Director of Community Partnerships at the new Greenwood County Community Foundation.
The greatest blessing, among many, in our life this year has been our small group. Alan and I have invested time and energy in these young women. It has made us feel old to mentor them, but also grown up and important. Here we are November 8th (the day of Alan's knee surgery) at Vision Night at NewSpring in Greenwood. Yes, the other tremendous blessing we are wrapping up this year of travail with is the opening, last Sunday, of our church. Campus #8 is only 10 minutes from our house. 1526 people came the first Sunday. Truly the BEST is yet to come.
I"m ready for 2013 to be a "settled down" year for us.
Without a doubt 2012 will go down in our history as the hardest year ever. Yet, as we got into Thanksgiving season and now Christmas, I started to think about how great this year has been. Alan lost weight and got healthy. Then he struggled with a sore knee (torn meniscus) and finally had it scoped/repaired in November. My health has been good this year, overall. Swim class three times a week keeps me going. Oh, except for the migraines. Those started in the spring and it took me a while to figure out what was going on.
Of course losing Alan's sister in January threw us for a loop and then his mom getting sick in June prolonged the recovery. But we are getting started in his family establishing a new normal. His mom is on dialysis 3 days a week but is doing really well with that. A new diet and schedule have been a HUGE adjustment for her and dad, but they are pulling together, not apart. Hannah is in college here in Greenwood and we see her a couple times a month. These holidays are going to be tough, but I think we will get through if we give ourselves a break.
My family has adjusted fairly well to Mama passing from this world. Strangely, losing the house might have been the toughest part. I've only driven by there once since July. We were tossed another zinger in September when Gabe died. It sounds remote that the loss of my sister-in-law's sister's son would affect us so terribly. Worst migraine ever the day of his funeral. So young, so bright and energetic. Too soon to leave.
My professional life changed dramatically in late September and October, when I gave up the legal life. November 1 I became Director of Community Partnerships at the new Greenwood County Community Foundation.
I"m ready for 2013 to be a "settled down" year for us.
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
What a year it has been
In the picture at right, Mama is showing off some of her silly socks. She loved silly socks. She is with my niece Emily, who married in August and is expecting a baby next June. Life moves on. I guess because Mama was so ready to go, I was more ready to let her go. Sure, I wish we had more fun days together, but I am so thankful for the days we did have and how it all went down on her way out, that I am not really sad.
Everyone loses their mom, but not every one has a great mom or a terrific relationship with their mom. Sure, I've got lots of regrets, but those are primarily from long ago.
My mom was an amazing person and I hope I grow up to be like her.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Three months
Another month has passed, and another major life event in our family. Alan's mother has been in the hospital now 2 weeks. She is seriously ill with Goodpasture's syndrome, a rare autoimmune disorder that has attacked her kidneys and lungs. Her lung function seems adequate, for now, but her kidneys are not functioning. We hope as they treat her - with steriods, plasmapheresis and dialysis - she will regain some kidney function, but it's still too early to tell. So, again, we are spending a LOT of time at the hospital.
Mornings are still cool in SC, but the heat is upon us. We rode the tandem 35 miles last night in an oppressive heat. Thankfully humidity was low, about 25% I think, so we didn't sweat to death. Today it will be 105.
Alan is maintaining his weight loss. Right at 180 this morning. Also this month he has experienced swelling and pain in his knee, so he's given up running, been to the doc and is doing physical therapy "for dynamic knee stabilization." He just wants to be able to ride a bike. This morning he was hopping a little, after last night's ride. We'll see.
We are concerned about our friends in Colorado Springs. The wildfire is very close to our old neighborhood and our friends are under a mandatory evacuation. Our thoughts and prayers are with them.
Usually we camp in Colorado for the 4th of July, but this seems to be a good year to have made other plans. Unfortunately, Alan's latest raise/promotion knocked him out of being able to travel for the 4th, since Fuji will be in a maintenance shut-down that he has a major role in. So, I'll be traveling alone to Missouri on Tuesday to meet friends and spend time in Hannibal.
Alan did arrange a 10 day trip to Colorado in August. Despite the wildfire in that area (too), Estes Park will be the site of my niece's wedding, which we are excited to attend on the 11th, and after Alan takes a class that next week, we will celebrate his 45th birthday in Grand Lake for the weekend with friends, and hopefully for him some flyfishing.
My family has spent a lot of time cleaning out the house and God provided a lovely family to rent the main floor and help us maintain it. They are moving in next week, so the basement is packed to the ceiling and Alan will change the locks this weekend. Such a blessing.
Work with Sam is good. A new client this week. Food Bank crisis continues; shelves and bank accounts are empty. But gardens are producing so at least I am eating well. Life is good.
Mornings are still cool in SC, but the heat is upon us. We rode the tandem 35 miles last night in an oppressive heat. Thankfully humidity was low, about 25% I think, so we didn't sweat to death. Today it will be 105.
Alan is maintaining his weight loss. Right at 180 this morning. Also this month he has experienced swelling and pain in his knee, so he's given up running, been to the doc and is doing physical therapy "for dynamic knee stabilization." He just wants to be able to ride a bike. This morning he was hopping a little, after last night's ride. We'll see.
We are concerned about our friends in Colorado Springs. The wildfire is very close to our old neighborhood and our friends are under a mandatory evacuation. Our thoughts and prayers are with them.
Usually we camp in Colorado for the 4th of July, but this seems to be a good year to have made other plans. Unfortunately, Alan's latest raise/promotion knocked him out of being able to travel for the 4th, since Fuji will be in a maintenance shut-down that he has a major role in. So, I'll be traveling alone to Missouri on Tuesday to meet friends and spend time in Hannibal.
Alan did arrange a 10 day trip to Colorado in August. Despite the wildfire in that area (too), Estes Park will be the site of my niece's wedding, which we are excited to attend on the 11th, and after Alan takes a class that next week, we will celebrate his 45th birthday in Grand Lake for the weekend with friends, and hopefully for him some flyfishing.
My family has spent a lot of time cleaning out the house and God provided a lovely family to rent the main floor and help us maintain it. They are moving in next week, so the basement is packed to the ceiling and Alan will change the locks this weekend. Such a blessing.
Work with Sam is good. A new client this week. Food Bank crisis continues; shelves and bank accounts are empty. But gardens are producing so at least I am eating well. Life is good.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Two months later
Where have I been? What have I been doing? It all seems a fog, and yet so real.
Two months have passed on the calendar since my mom left this world. And still I cannot say how it was, how it is now, or how it seems to me. Really, I'm fine. At least I think I am most of the time. But how would I know? What do I compare to decide?
Mother's Day was not terrible. I received lots of support and thoughtfulness from friends. But other days I miss her. Just to talk with her. Yet it seems OK, that she is well and happy now, that I am fine too but need to adjust myself to this new "normal." I am not unhappy.
I am so proud of my family. We can make almost anything fun, even cleaning out her house. I am so pleased with the things from the house that I am incorporating into my own home.
It has been a lovely Spring. Warm some days, cool others, now the beginning of hot. But still, most of the day is pleasant, especially if you can stay out of the sun. Flowers and gardens are growing. The pond is full once again. Alan is busily relocating fish to restock for future fishing adventures. His weight loss goal has been met and maintained.
Two months have passed on the calendar since my mom left this world. And still I cannot say how it was, how it is now, or how it seems to me. Really, I'm fine. At least I think I am most of the time. But how would I know? What do I compare to decide?
Mother's Day was not terrible. I received lots of support and thoughtfulness from friends. But other days I miss her. Just to talk with her. Yet it seems OK, that she is well and happy now, that I am fine too but need to adjust myself to this new "normal." I am not unhappy.
I am so proud of my family. We can make almost anything fun, even cleaning out her house. I am so pleased with the things from the house that I am incorporating into my own home.
It has been a lovely Spring. Warm some days, cool others, now the beginning of hot. But still, most of the day is pleasant, especially if you can stay out of the sun. Flowers and gardens are growing. The pond is full once again. Alan is busily relocating fish to restock for future fishing adventures. His weight loss goal has been met and maintained.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Skinny Man
Here he is, my handsome skinny husband. Sixty days from the start of the life altering diet and 37 pounds less. Today's weight, 188. Only 8 more pounds to go. This crazy fool even runs now. However, he had his best ever time on the 15.2 mile inner mountain bike loop of 1 hour 22 minutes 32 seconds today. Just over 11 mph average.
Thanks for the encouragement Steve and Kathleen (his Colorado running coaches.)
Thanks for the encouragement Steve and Kathleen (his Colorado running coaches.)
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