Well, hello. See you soon.

Guest Post: S

Why do you visit this page? Options, perhaps.

1. To read about beer escapades.
2. To read about some South-Indian guy who lives in the US. With all the stereotypes.
3. To read funny, f*cked up incidents about a guy who always has a story up his sleeve.

If you've been following this page closely, there is a pattern that is easily noticeable. 

"So, last night I was hammered and..."

Dialogues between colleagues/at the bar that are controversial (read: sexist)

Light beer, evening beer, quick beer, regular beer, too much beer..

Absolute deconstruction of every Indian Stereotype. 

NIN and some more beer.

Some attempts at verse-writing.

*Smirk*

I can tell you that through this post I am trying to be as objective as humanly possible. I intend to revive the memories of V's blog. There's so much you can deduct after reading it. Stuff like, "Okay, Alcohol really fucks you up", or maybe "Omg, enough with NIN" (Aside- kudos to V for kicking the addiction) maybe "Okay, women are not only about their assets, jackass" or even a plain, "Hahaha. Wow."

I read it because it gives me my weekly/bi-weekly dose of incoherence.

P.s- Hey, atleast he's honest about the nature of his content :)

Happy New Year

Long story short -- First, I was in Europe. Second, I got busy after I returned.

Most memorable moment of the trip: Stumbling along in a highly inebriated state, I involuntarily threw up right in front of a clothing store named "So Cute" in Paris.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

If such an accident occured in school, I wouldn't have shown up the next day.

[9:23 am][V] dude

[9:23 am][G] yeah

[9:24 am][V] i had a hair accident... i think the hairdresser had a fight with her husband before she cut my hair.... it's so short! i feel like an idiot

[9:24 am][G] hahahahahahaha
[9:24 am][G] I gotta see this!
[9:25 am][G] lol
[9:25 am][G] that's why I always get mine buzzed - a 6 and a 3 clipper

[9:25 am][V] butt of all jokes since yesterday
[9:25 am][G] I'm sure

[9:26 am][V] i didn't even have her use clippers, dude!
[9:26 am][V] just scissors!

[9:26 am][G] oof
[9:26 am][G] you should go back and show her wtf she did
[9:26 am][G] get a refund

[9:26 am][V] fk.. i have a 1 pm meeting.. i wish there were no meetings today

[9:26 am][G] lol
[9:26 am][G] you need a beanie hat

[9:27 am][V] and to think, i'm travelling with this haircut!

[9:27 am][G] you shoulda gelled it
[9:27 am][G] hahahahaha

[9:27 am][V] no one's gonna look at me

[9:27 am][G] hope it grows in quick

[9:27 am][V] my hair grows fast.. in a couple of weeks, it should be good
[9:27 am][V] but i'm leaving on wednesday!
[9:27 am][V] fk

[9:27 am][G] she should have at least given you a free bowl of soup with it
[9:28 am][G] all else...go get it buzzed

[9:29 am][V] what?

[9:29 am][G] that's a joke

[9:29 am][V] clearly she chopped some of my brains too
[9:29 am][V] dude, this is nightmarish

[9:30 am][G] hahahaha
[9:30 am][G] I gotta see it

[9:30 am][V] we'll do lunch today?

[9:30 am][G] ok
[9:30 am][G] I have no meetings

[9:30 am][V] pick a place

[9:30 am][G] most public place possible
[9:30 am][G] lol

[9:30 am][V] i have a 1 pm but i think we have time

[9:30 am][G] ok

[9:31 am][V] friend's brother said, "all i can see is your nose."

[9:31 am][G] hahahahahahaha
[9:31 am][G] awesome

Rant

To all those people who speak Hindi and/or other native languages in a professional environment, please refrain from doing so for the following simple reasons:

1. You are not in India.

2. Nobody except Indians understand what's being said.

3. I'm tired of explaining to non-Indians that there's no such language as 'Indian'.

4. There's a reason why they make cell phones portable. If you must converse in a language other than English, please take your cell phone to a private area.

5. Only a select few understand work-related comments made in Hindi in a meeting. If you see a fellow Indian, it's not mandatory to speak Hindi, can it get any simpler?

6. Last but ain't the least, my Hindi is worse than my English and I admit it. So, if you don't get the response you're looking for when you ask, "Arrey yaar, tu Hindi mein reply kyun nahi karta?", please do not be offended.

Mumbai Ka King Kaun?

It's been six long years. I miss everything back home. Topping the list is the immediate access to vital newsbreaks about Bollywood that would appear on the ticker of any TV channel. But to serve as a gratifying consolation, the Internet has helped a great deal in overcoming this sense of isolation.

Nitish found a groundbreaking news article on Shahrukh Khan a couple of days ago and in his post, he didn't leave any stone unturned in congratulating the king of Bollywood on his achievements. What followed was a long exchange of comments that brought various aspects of King Khan to surface which in due course led to reminiscing some of his memorable quotes. It was an intense discussion that left us both in tears at the end of the day. SRK, if I may, is an epitome of emotion.

In my search for more news about the greatest actor Bollywood has ever seen, I stumbled on this interesting article citing the never-ending battle between King Khan and once his best friend, now a nemesis, Salman Khan.

Here's an excerpt from the article:

"The macho man of Bollywood Salman Khan said that he is fed up of giving his grudges with Shahrukh Khan a "National Issue". He also said that he doesn't talk to King Khan but why it has been hyped as a national issue."

I am left shell-shocked by these unfolding events. In my opinion, it is an issue that demands national attention when Salman Khan "doesn't talk to" King Khan. The article suggests the cause for such a terrible misunderstanding could be traced to Salman Khan being "falsely" accused of being in a relationship with Katrina Kaif. The reporter doesn't disclose anything else about it because it's classified information. But Salman Khan's reaction reveals the true story.

"Friendship is a beautiful relation which is always with you when you are in any kind problem and a friend is a person who could save you from other stresses of the life too."

As any noble person would agree, the keyword in his statement is "other". What are friends of the opposite sex for if they cannot alleviate stress caused by "other" reasons?

Needless to say, this article fired up a storm across the nation. The sole comment on the article by someone named 'Katrin' (whose name is strinkingly similar to the name of the actress) speaks for itself.

"Sorry, Salman Khan but Shahrukh Khan is a National Hero, he is Mother India. And the world wants to know everything about him and it makes SRKs Fans very sad when anybody hurt him."

I'm really amazed at the honors Shahrukh Khan has been receiving lately. To name a few, the well-deserved black belt and now, the title of 'Mother India' conferred to him by none other than a die hard fan, so it's valid and true.

In my conclusion, I'd like to say that empirical evidence substantiated by public opinion points to SRK being the reigning king of Bollywood or should I say queen, in accordance with the recent title he received. Also, I'd like to honestly thank Nitish for bringing Bollywood back into my list of interests.

Girl Talk At A Bar

"Hieeeee! I haven't seen you in forever!"

"I know! Oh, I have so many things to tell you. Wait, let me just update my Facbook status (Drinking with the girlfriends at MM.)"

"That's a really nice scarf! I'm so jealous. Oh my god, I love the color."

"Thank you!! I knew you'd love it. I have to show you this picture of Zoey (the dog). Isn't he like the cutest thing in the world?"

"OH MY GOD! He's so adorable! Awwwwww, can I visit you one of these days?"

"My boyfriend is so sweet! He picked up my clothes at the dry-cleaners without me having to even remind him."

"Girls, I finally chose the right color for the drapes in the bedroom. Beige. It took me so long to make that decision."

"Oh, I'm so happy for you!! Yeah, I have to pick a color for my carpet too. I'm inclining towards wooden floors but C wants carpet. I'll let him have it his way on this one because I'm choosing the color of tiles for his bathroom too."

"Have you had the salsa here? It is sooooo good! I just come here for the salsa, they should have a happy hour for salsa."

"We should all go out dancing some night! It'll be so much fun. Maybe when the game is on so the streets will be empty."

"That reminds me. I was almost in a car crash. I was talking on my cell phone, and looking for directions and I ran a stop sign. Gosh, that was close."

"That's a nice top! Pink stripes look good on you!"

"Don't look now but I think those guys are checking us out. If you look now, they'll think we're interested."

"Are we doing another beer?"

"NO WAY! I just got out the gym."

"I don't mind a really light beer."