baby pictures!

I managed to post these pictures earlier today, and am editing to add comments about them!

The first picture is of Ewan. He is a very difficult baby to get a good picture of! He still has a skinny little face where he is so tall, he hasn't filled in yet. I remember Lucas and Matilda didn't look like "babies" until they were closer to 8-10 weeks old. Anyhow, in most of Ewans pictures he looks startled. Heh. He is a cutie, but Duane says "Ewan" the way Jerry Seinfeld used to say "Newman". Ewan is a cranky little fella and always the worst during Duanes shift (which coincides with the "colic hours" of 6-midnight).



Rowan is a happy little guy. Well, we *think* he is. All he does is eat and sleep. He doesn't get angry, he doesn't have any colic, he is an EASY baby. Easier than all the others have been. He is a good baby to have as a twin, because he is so laid back. He doesn't even spit up! We will have to see if this laid back newborn continues this way. He gets very angry though if he has to wait on his bottle!



OK, so, the little twins turned 5 weeks old on Friday, and I decided it was time to get out the infant swings. They are having longer periods of wake time, and, its good for them to be exposed to all the sights and sounds of daytime. Thus far these little twins have slept so well at bedtime- they only wake to eat. And, I think its because of how bright and noisey our home is during the day!

Well, we get the swings set up, and Lucas and Matilda wanted in them. Mind you, they haven't been in their swings for the last 5-6 months!!! They both had the best time. Fortunately they are right at the weight limit, so it was safe, too. You can see at first they looked sweet, then they started having fun. The last picture of Tilly wiht her legs in the air cracks me up!







As far as how I am doing... getting rest since the babies do sleep between feedings, but, still worn out. I am hoping Ewan and Rowan follow Lucas and Matilda and sleep through the 4 a.m. feeding early. Lucas and Matilda gave it up at 10 weeks, which is awesome for a preemie.

We have the siding and windows up for our family room remodel! YIPPEE! A play room! I am going to have a huge clear space when we move the playyard out into the family room (it will now be for the little twins) and have no idea what to do with the area in my living room once its free of baby toys. I would LOVE to have a loveseat on the wall there, but, we need a sofa for the play room first... I am not sure... when its atcually clear, I will post a picture and get advice.

P.S., I feel like I am going brain dead. I think its all the poopie diapers (550 a month). So, I bought some used paperbacks off of ebay- Donald Bain's Murder She Wrote books (one of my favorite "comfort food" t.v. shows). I am excited about the first two "Trick or Treachery" and "A Little Yuletide Murder". The holiday theme should make them a fun read, and these two are set in "Cabot Cove".

"Dabies"

I haven't had time to update, but wanted to share...

Ewan and Rowan have gained well- better than Lucas and Matilda did- and I have lost well. Lucas and Matilda are enjoying the new "toys" we brought home, and Tilly calls her brothers "Dabies". I will try and post pictures this weekend!

Longing for Autumn

Yesterday I was driving to the grocery store when it occurred to me that very soon, in my native rural West Virginia, the trees would begin showcasing their jewel like tones in celebration of autumn. The air would be crisp, and it would be the perfect time for hiking along the mountain trails I have known for so many years, and enjoying the crunch of maple and oak leaves beneath my feet. I enjoy these walks alone the best, allowing time for introspection and daydreams. Its my way to renew myself, and visit with memories. M favorite is a hike on the ridge near my grandparents farm- approaching the ridge ever so slowly, letting the breeze rush up the side of the mountain and greet me like an old friend. From here I can see all the hills and valleys of the small town where my parents, grandmothers, sister, aunts, and cousins reside. Taking the sentimental journey along the path of autumn, the time when vegetation begins to change and pass away, remembering those who have also passed away- like my beloved grandfather who enjoyed the stillness of gardening as much as I. I have resolved many problems along this hike, and found respite from daily stresses with a quick morning jaunt here. I have never lived so far from the ridge that I couldn't drive there and park my car at my grandparents for a thirty minute walk in the a.m. before work, or in the p.m. before dinner with my parents. My dog, Mr. Smith, knows this ridge as well as I, and would stop at the top of the hill while I walked down and looped the big acorn tree. He would roll over on his back and "Swim" in the leaves until I turn and make my way back up the ridge after gathering a pocket full of acorns for homemade potpourri. Mr. Smith has been walking here for 13 years- as long as he has been alive. We both would stop and enjoy the coolness of the air, then head back toward my grandfathers to pick grapes off the vine. Dogs can't eat grapes- but I sure could.

My mother told me yesterday that this is the first year in 50 that my grandmother wouldn't be making grape jelly. At 87, she says she is too tire to make any.

And I now live 7 hours away from the ridge that has beckoned me for long walks and quiet reflection since I was a teenager.

So, yesterday was a somewhat sad day, and I felt homesick. Who would of thought a trip to Starbucks could change my attitude?

I stopped there to get a light venti decaf caramel frap, and instead left with their autumn pumpkin pie frap. I drank half on the way home, and froze the other half until this morning. And then, when all the babies were sleeping, and my husband is sleeping, I thawed out my frap and have been reading autumn articles at Southern Living online. I have been looking at pumpkin recipes and debating when to make my first gingerbread. I did twenty minutes of yoga. And while I am not outdoors walking along my favorite ridge with my favorite dog, I do feel that even an hour while babies nap is an opportunity to enjoy introspection. It is these stolen moments that will sustain me when everyones crying and quiet can't be found. And of course, I can visit the ridge again and again in my mind, shutting my eyes and imagining all the scents and sounds I know so well beckoning me from right here in my living room.

So, this isn't a baby post. This is a post just about myself, written when I had some moments to myself. And here are some lovely autumn images to accompany it.

Ewan and Rowan (added details)

Here are the details:

Ewan: baby A weighed 4 pounds 14 ounces .33 and was 18 inches long

Rowan: baby B weighed 4 pounds 15 ounces .75 and was 17 3/4 inches long

They were born in the very same minute! I think Ewan is 15 seconds older. The ob had a hard time recalling who she pulled out first!

As most of you guessed, I had the babies. 36 weeks 1 day! I wasn't in labor, I kept having incision pain and the ob on call was afraid I was near uterine rupture. I was *not*- the pain was Rowan pressing on my incision with his head, hee hee. However, it ended being a really really GOOD thing that we delivered. Ewan (on the left) was born with torticollis- being engaged for an extended period of time meant he was unable to turn his head, and it became locked in one position and one side of his neck and facial muscles could not develop properly. My husband calls him "Baby Smooshie" and I cal him "Mr. Magoo". However, some at home physical therapy by us will fix this fairly quickly (Lucas had very mild torticollis, but nothing like this, the nurses actually prepared us before allowing us to see Ewan!).

The pediatrician saw him Wednesday and said he was relieved and glad we delivered when we did, because Ewans jaw bone (mandible) had not been effected, and he felt that had I carried him even a brief amount of time longer, we would be seeing some major problems.

The babies roomed with me, are good eaters, and we all came home Monday.

I am a bit sleep deprived, so excuse the short update!

*edit, I can't believe I was to tired I put Rowans middle name in the subject field! I have never posted my twins middle names online, for their protection (because I can link to my blog a million different ways from google). However, if anyone who regularly reads my blog wanted to know their middle names, just shoot me an email.

ob appointment

I had my 36 week ob appointment yesterday... they put me on the tokos monitor and I was having ZERO irritability or contractions. I mean this- NADA. I had stronger contractions last week and in the L&D. Heck, stronger contractions at 19 weeks last pregnancy! I am a little confused... also, the last two nights I have been doing aerobics. Duane leaves the room, I think its frightening. Ha, ha. I have all this energy and feel great so everyone thinks I am nesting for real, but, I am only 1 cm dilated and nothing is progressing... I am just enjoying having this splurt of energy for whatever it means or is worth as I have felt immobile for the longest time and I am the type of person who when having to give up their control and rely on others feels depressed with the degree of helplessness that I experience.

The ob was a bit peeved that L&D tried to talk me into a vbac. She said that had they succeeded, she would of spent the next hour talking me back out of it. She said that my uterus is already stretched further than last pregnancy, and that rupture was a real concern and wasn't necessarily associated with the length or strength of labor and having babies at the right station didn't mean it wouldn't happen if I was allowed to labor. It didn't help that my c-section hot spots and my scar have been hurting me lately. If it increases or becomes stronger, she said I am to report to L&D ASAP and they would be sectioning me immediately.

I owe some thank yous- first to the lovely bloggers who have been following my pregnancy and sending me the nicest comments of support even though I have not been keeping up with others blogs as well as I would like.

To Heidi who sent me the most thoughtful and adorable baby gifts- little Dutch onesies! They are so cute, and my husband loved them, too!

And to Genevieve for creating the "Nice Matters" award which I received from her as well as some of my other favorite bloggers. I am supposed to pass this along to seven people, and I feel *guilty* just choosing 7 because IMO EVERYONE I have met since beginning to blog has been NICE and I am afraid I would leave someone out. So, I am going to be a bit rebellious and say that EVERYONE is nice, and that anyone visiting my blog should embrace this award and all that it means to be compassionate, kind, and well.... nice!

nesting and ready for babies!

Well, we had a false alarm on Thursday and I was soooooo embarrassed. Called my MIL, had baby sitters here, and lugged my suitcase over to the hospital thinking I was in labor. They put me on the Tokos and said "You are in PAIN?" I turned to look at it and it wasn't even spiking above 25!!!

Last time, I just woke up in the middle of night, turned to Duane and said "It's time". Now here I am in a second pregnancy and running to the L&D for uterine crankiness. Hee, hee. However, I did get a plausible response for all my issues to date- when the doctor checked my cervix she was surprised to find Twin A at "+2 Station". This is normally associated with being *more* than 5 cm dilated and in very active labor, though I am only fingertip dilated, 70% effaced and not in labor. She said all the downward pressure and the pubic diastasis has made for very painful uterine cramping- though its not laborious. They gave me a shot of terbutaline to see if it would halt the contractions and it did for an hour and then they came back. However, the L&D bed had a "pillow" you could fluff up under your bottom and it pushed the baby back to station +1 for the time I was in the hospital and that felt soooooo good! The baby dropped back to station +2 as soon as I stood up. Hmpfh!

And then comes the dilemma... my last pregnancy was a c-section- mandated because of the fact that Lucas was deemed having "intrauterine growth restriction" in the womb- a condition that means that for some reason the babies abdomen isn't maturing properly and growing at the rate the rest of the body is, and is often associated with a placenta dying off. On top of that, he had an irregular heartbeat. So, it was agreed by all that he not be made to go through the rigors of labor and I had a c-section. Once he was born, we realized that he was fine... he's just built like his daddy- lanky! Ha! And to be even more honest here... I wasn't thrilled about the prospect of two labors in one day as sometimes there is a several hour gap in delivering twins and with Tilly not being engaged that was a possibility. EEEEK! Plus... I am a wimp. There, I said it. I get horrified just watching birthing shows, and often my face turns bright pink when viewing them.

So, this pregnancy we were told from the start that because of the proximity of my last pregnancy VBAC was )O-U-T and we would be having another c-section to avoid the possibility of uterine rupture on scar tissue that may have not properly healed from the last section. And we have stuck with this the entire time... but here we are 2 weeks before my scheduled c-section and the Doctor on call from my practice shakes her head when she finds out we are having a c-section. When she left I asked the nurse why, and she said that I was an L&D dream come true with two babies engaged and one already at +2 station. That I would have a practically painless quick delivery with how separated by pubic bones are, with the fact that I do not carry large twins. Both my mother and sister had natural deliveries (no pain meds) and it seems to run in our family that we have this pubic diastasis. So, there may be some truth in this.

ACK!!!

Duane freaked and said there was no way he would want me doing VBAC, that YES twin A might be a quick delivery, but there was nothing preventing twin B from turning afterwards and going breech and my winding up with two deliveries- one vaginal, one section. The truth is, only 15% of twin deliveries wind up being one vaginal and one c-section, but the prospect isn't very exciting! I then spoke to my mother and she also freaked and said to stay with the surgery. Duane said if I were carrying a singleton I would have his full support, but with twins he wanted to obide by the original recommendation. We both did alot of research last pregnancy and did read that with twins a c-section is safer for Baby B. That while Baby A seems to not have any increased risks, its hard for Baby B to go through the rigors of labor- twice. Once for the birth of their sibling, then for their own birth. Duane reminded me of this as well.

It just seems like such a waste to have a body that is actually prepared for an easy delivery, and still have the section. One of my friends is an L&D nurse and she emailed me this morning and concurred with the L&D physician on call that this would be a very easy delivery. Ack. I am just as wimpy as before, but just thinking that a vaginal recovery would be sooooo much easier than a c-section when I have babies at home already to care for. This is what my friend said as well. Her twins were sectioned. I will talk to my doctor tomorrow and get her thoughts...

Here is the remodeled guest room- you can see the little twins cribs up under the window. Lots of sunshine for the wee ones!



This is me at 34 weeks at my shower. My friend Tonya made the diaper cake. Isn't it cute? I had a difficult time finding an outfit to fit for the shower... I tend to stay in maternity dresses to keep anything from touching my abdomen, but, I also need to sit with my legs up ("Indian Style") to keep weight off my pelvis and thats much easier in pants. I wound up wearing a set of brown capris that I really have outgrown, and this blouse which my tummy hung out the bottom of. And everyone keeps saying how small I am. Well, small everywhere but my abdomen! Its huge!



I have been cleaning like mad and have had a burst of energy, so now Duane can't sleep at night thinking its the "Calm before the storm". I don't know if I am nesting officially or not- theres so much that needs to get done!

I am going to try and catch up on blogs today, I sure have missed everyones entries!

One year...

Its hard to believe that an entire year has passed since I gave birth to Lucas and Matilda. They were so tiny, so sweet... When I received the babycenter newsletter calling them TODDLERS I burst into tears. They are still *my* BABIES.



This was taken in the hospital. The nurse said they kept turning Lucas to his left side for better digestion after feeding, but he would flip back toward his sister. We use this picture on their birth announcements.



Here they are this past week, at one year old.

Lucas, you are such a sweet little guy. You laugh wholeheartedly at the goofiest things. Daddy faking hiccups sends you into guffaws. You are patient and gentle, except when sissy has a toy you want. Your current fascination is watching things bounce, which at 3:30 in the morning can be frustrating to your mommy and daddy whose responsibility it is to retrieve the bounced paci on the floor. You like to dance to Mickey Mouse, but are afraid of Ratatouie. You knit your little brow together the same way mommy does- we call it your "botox brow". Your curiosity leads everyone around you to liken you to a baby genius, but what mommy and daddy love best is your hugs and gentle temperament. You have daddys personality, and mommies facial features. You captured my heart the moment I first held you.

Matilda, you are the little girl mommy dreamed of as a child. You have mommies temperament- stubborn, temperamental, and so sensitive. You are affectionate and have the most invasive smile I ever knew of. You are so happy in the mornings to see mommy and daddy that you are giddy with glee, and squeal at the top of your lungs- often causing momentarily deafness! You have the most beautiful eyes mommy ever saw, and daddys funny little smirks. Everyone says you have daddy wrapped around your little finger- and they are right! You love to look at the embroidery on your dresses and think mommies hair is for climbing. You adore your brother and have fun chasing him around the nursery and play yard.

My little babies...