Tidbits from the Tremaynes

HEY YOU GUYS.

2017-03-12T19:09:00.002-06:00

You. Guys.

I've been a bad blogger. So bad. I hate when blogger people make excuses, and so I hate that now I'm going to give you excuses. . .

I have a job, now. A part time job. And I have no freaking clue how working moms get anything done, like, ever. And I only work part time. I have had to learn to let a tooooon of expectations go. Laundry not getting done on Monday Laundry Day? Oh well. It's never ending anyway. Daughter looks like a ragamuffin because she will not show any sort of hustle in the morning? C'est la vie.

I love this job, though. With all my heart and soul. I actually get paid to play the piano for the junior high. I get paid. To play the piano. And the kids are so so awesome and I am getting so much better musically. I know this is all sooo interesting! You're on the edge of your seats.

ANYWAYS.

I'm in a bad situation with my house right now. Not "starving children in Africa" bad situation, just. . . flippant, house decorator, "OMG, like, my house" bad situation. Listen here:

Everything that needs doing OR I'd like to do costs five bajillion million thousand dollars. Also, my house has hit that ripe old age of maturity where like, everything needs replacing. Do you know what I'm saying here?

I'm saying my house was built in the 90's, and everything has been fine. Not my fave, but, you know. Livable. Doable. But now. . .everything shows it's wear. Yes, we're pigs. The people who live here are just disgusting. Yes, we all sleep here and fight here and play here and cook here, and then there's the neighbors who like to live here, too, so things are just gonna start looking shabby, but . . .

I'm saying it's all the big things. Soon I'll need a new kitchen. Well, for the most part. My bathrooms. All of the them--- good heaven above my bathrooms are straight out of a horror movie. Frankly, it all is kind of overwhelming me. I just. . .can't right now.

Enter in this months project!!!

This is another one of these things that I've so, so so so wanted for us. But I knew it would cost a lot (it did), and I knew it would be a big ole pain (it was). All the flooring in the upstairs. All of it. Gone. I could cry happy tears. I think I actually did.

INCIDENTALLY!

This picture popped up on The Facebooks by three of my friends, on the same day. Cute little saying, huh?

It would be sooo cute if it weren't for that DISGUSTING CARPET. and that disgusting carpet IS MY OWN CARPET HELLO BECAUSE THIS IS MY FREAKING HOUSE. You don't have my permission, "whisper". Not at all.

That up there was a before photo of my stairs before I ripped the carpet off! I die. Humiliations galore. What's my point?

(Stairs now. Same-ish angle.)

My point is that all that cream carpet from hell really needed to go. And go it did.

The Jeffro and I -- we worked so hard. We hauled booty to tear all this stuff out and sweep up the dirt and pluck out the staples and crowbar up the tack strips. You've done this. You know. You empathize. Your eye is twitching just thinking about it. And the furniture removal! My kids were all, "It's like we're moving!" (whine, whine). It really was though. We played musical beds. Kids slept in various rooms while the work got done. It was funsies. Really messed up funsies.

Also. I love paying small amounts of money to watch people do the work I know I can do myself. It's so very choice.

Seriously-- if the Jeffro and I were to lay this stuff down, it would have taken us 2 weeks of intense work. because there were weird angles, closets, 4 bedrooms, and a really oddly shaped hallway. Of course we could have done it! We'd have been grouchy and mean and everything else would have gone to crap whilst we worked. . .

we could pay the people to come in, work their butts off, do a great job because hey, it's what they do, and be done in two hard working days. And so we did. Because we aren't stupid all the time! Just typically!

(The only time my daughter's room has been clean. Since she could crawl.)

I love it. It's sooo much cleaner up here. So much. So. So. So much. The irony is not lost on me that I enjoy vacuuming and detest sweeping, however.

I know I'm not fooling you. I ain't fooling anyone. We actually went with Dark Hickory . . .LAMINATE. Dun dun dun. I love real hardwood ever so much. . . you know I do. It's my secret boyfriend. But let's be real: nobody really comes up here besides us, it's a quarter of the cost, and it's also a quarter of the cost.

Did I mention it was a quarter of the cost??

On Fear

2016-12-06T22:23:00.001-07:00

In the last month or so, I've heard a quote like this at least 3 times. At least.

Or something similar to this. Something like,

"Never let fear make your decisions." And it's like, BOOM. What? I shouldn't let my fear control me? It's all I know. It's all I am. I'm doing it wrong??

If we've been friends for a while, then you know that I have an absolute crippling fear of performance anxiety. You can call it stage fright I guess--

But when people are all,

"Yeah I get super nervous too when I speak in front of people." Then I'm like, yeah. It's that, but it's so much more. I'm having a total freak out panic attack. Panic attacks are gosh awful. They suck. So bad.

ANYWAYS.

I let my fear take over me. I stopped doing anything that would get me wigged out. Anything music related that was in front of people? Over. Done. Public speaking-- even making a comment in a room with more than 4 people would completely freak me out. It was a serious problem. It was controlling my life.

I don't even know what exactly started me wanting to change really--

but I started with a fear journal. Seriously. (Journal nerds unite.)

I started making a list of things that freaked me out, and I started planning on doing them. I know this sounds sick and twisted, but really it's kind of sick and twisted.

-Donating blood was never a problem for me until the last few years. I broke into a cold sweat contemplating doing it again . .

So I signed up. And I went and did it. (And I did freak out internally). And then I wrote about it in my fear journal and was like BAM I did that. And then I signed up to donate again when the time came around.

Tons of musical numbers, speaking in front of large crowds. . . oh my heck, once recently I even sang in front of a bunch of people and I don't sing solos because I don't have a solo voice.

And then I get to write about it, and I pat myself on the back.

I did a violin solo. As an adult. In front of a huge crowd. And I felt sooo ridiculous at a recital next to 10 year olds doing my recital thing. But it was on my fear journal list, and so I did it anyway.

I'm happy to say that it is actually getting easier. But nearly every time, when I'm up doing that thing that is freaking me out, I wonder why I've done this to myself and what my gosh dang problem is.

But then I'm so happy afterward.

I've been meaning to sit down and put my thoughts into words for like, ever--

but then our house was robbed on Thanksgiving night while we were out of town. And that's a new, different kind of fear, you know what I'm saying?

I've said this before, and I'm not even kidding: my house is my buddy. It honestly feels like a close friend. I've poured my literal blood, sweat, and tears into making this house ours. And it feels like someone came in and violated it. They were everywhere-- in every room, and with the amount of things they took, they were in here for a long time.

Evidently, they spent the bulk of their time in my bedroom, and they were thorough. Under my bed, through my socks, my underwear, even my dirty clothes for crying out loud--

and a couple people were asking if we were going to move. Because we feel violated, you know?

I'm not moving. This is my house. You bastages that broke in don't belong here.

I don't feel safe, and I think that's natural. But how I do feel truly blessed, is that I was already working on not letting fear take over me, before this happened. So, I'm just gonna keep on keeping on. I guess this is my next fear journal entry, right?

Thanks for listening. Carry on.

Tombstones. Not Just For Cemeteries Anymore.

2016-09-28T13:13:00.002-06:00

Today. . .

I wanna talk about this.

BUT FIRST!!

Let us talk more about gardening. I know I know. . . I'm sorry. It's a crazy obsession that's getting worse and worse.

BUT hold the phone because my WATER CALLA BLOOMED! Right in my pond! I'm so happy-- I didn't think it had the ability-- not this season at least. . and it's so purty.

And I waited alllllll spring and summer for these dahlias to finally get off their A and do something. . .

And they're these monsters! These giant purple monsters of awesome!

Gosh, I love flowers. But you know what I don't love? Watering them in September/October. What is my deal? Weeding? No problem. Dead-heading? fine. But daily watering at this point in the game?

Done. Sooo so done with it. Most my flower beds water themselves-- but I have these random areas (HELLO TOO MANY POTS) that I'm just done with. Just die already! Or live but don't need water okay?

Anyways. Back to what we're getting all up on today.

We might have over-bought on the flagstone just a little.

And you know what one does with extra pieces of flagstone? Besides another massive project involving said flagstone? (Maybe next season but don't hold your breath 'cause I'm still tired. . .)

You borrow a little handheld Ryobi tool from your Daddy-o and make your own tombstone/engraved name thingy (Actual term). Duh.

'Cause everyone has one sitting elegantly in their yard, right? And I want one!

Now, let's just stop for a second and calm down.

If you are a perfectionist: don't DIY this.

Pay someone and get yourself a big freakin' huge sign and put it in your front yard for all to see. Because DIYing this isn't going to be perfect. And I'm okay with that. I'm sloppy. It's who I am. Be sloppy with me.

See what I mean? It's a Monet: from far away it's fine, but up close it's a real mess.

Have you noticed that most of these stone carving thingys are black inside? The letters, I mean? I do like that. But the Jeffro preferred it au naturel. And I'm okay with that, so I went with it. But you could definitely get a paintbrush in there and make the letters stand out.

So,

(I know how to spell my own last name, promise. This is for someone else)

this is as simple as printing out what you want on your own printer at home and taping it down. For the font freak like moi:
this font is Trajan Pro. I love Trajan Pro. It's da best.

So you tape it down, you get your little tool out with a diamond tip,

and it's soooo nice to have this plethora of various sized diamond tips -- the smaller ones we used to outline the letter, and then we'd just remove the paper and really smooth things out with a wider bit. Also, I could have moved the wet/dry vac hose and swept around this area just for the picture,

but that's not who I am. That wouldn't be authentic. And I need to be authentic.
(Is there a lamer phrase than "Being authentic" right now?)

So as I said, it's not perfect, and I knew that. I planned on it sitting in a flower bed in the backyard, without any pomp and circumstance, and we love it. Do it! Try it! It's actually quite addicting to sit down and just drill right into stone. It only took a couple hours, too. Oh my heck! If I had gray flagstone. . think of all the awesome tombstones for Halloween you could make! If I had all the time in the world, that is.

Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em.

2016-08-15T11:54:00.000-06:00

Peeps--

I thought this day would never come, but the da&* pond is finished. El finito. Smoke em if you got em, and then take a tip from me:

Do Not Do This. Don't. Just. Don't.

Let's say we did, then don't. Am I happy to have it in my backyard? Yes ish. I do love it. But it was soooo much work. Sooooooo much harder than the other stunts we've pulled since living in this house, and we've pulled a lot of stunts all up in this operation.

People told us not to. But we're hard workers! we said. We're no stranger to difficult projects! we said.

The cost of having a pond (even a small one) put in by a contractor is insane. But now I know why. There's just so much to think about, from the digging and the leveling and the pond liner and the electrical and the filter and this and that and the other. Sigh. Having it done professionally is probably worth every penny, sad to say.

So I'm saying I like it! I'm crying tears of joy that it's done! But I wouldn't do it again. And actually, if we're gonna be 100% honest, I still need to get out there and bury the electrical, and we're also putting in some pond lights which I'm pretty excited about.

But now that the backbreaking labor is done--

Look at my lily pads!! They actually have lilies. And they open at around 8 am and they close up around 5 pm and they are so nifty I can barely stand it.

In the small pond, we have a lily that is seriously two-toned:

Shut up!! Gah I love it so.

And we have lots of other water plants like water hyacinths and water lettuce and water callas and they're crazy expensive and I'll be seriously pissed if they can't withstand a Utah winter. But they should, so here's hoping.

And we even have fish! Goldfish. But fish!

This is me attempting to show you how our pond connects to our flower beds. And I dearly love that hibiscus in the corner there but it's gotten a little wild. Time to trim that puppy down.

You know what's funny? But not funny haha?

How many comments we got from the neighbors. Lots of very kind and encouraging comments from people we don't know very well, and then several mean jabs from people we do know well. That surprised me a little.

I remember this time, when I had had it after a long hot day,

and I'm ashamed to admit that I just plopped right down on the lawn-- just sprawled out right there, and I put my face in the crook of my elbow and had a little cry. Oh yes, I did.

And a good friend was driving past, and I heard her yell out of her car,

"You look like you could use a coke right now!"

And then I made our usual Mormon joke about throwing in a little rum with it (it never gets old)--

but that great friend brought me a milkshake. And I felt so much better. And yet dumb for being such a baby.

But I tell ya, there is something about landscape work that just feels. . . overwhelming.

I'm glad I did this now-- I took some photos of my flowers near the beginning of the season, and then I went out and snapped a few more this weekend.

Here's my one corner of my new flower beds back in June. . .

and here it is now.

Gosh that alyssum is insane! And my dahlias took their sweet time but they're this close to blooming! And I'm happy.

And since I'm feeling so gosh darn happy to not be sweating and swassing it up outside--

I treated myself to a sign purchase. Hee.

Two Steps Forward & One Step Back.

2016-07-10T22:40:00.003-06:00

Happy Summer!! Woot! I know for most of y'all, you're like, "Hello, summer's nearly half over duh!",

but for us, we've only been out of school prison for one week. So again I say, HAPPY SUMMER! Woot!

If we've been friends for a long time, then you know alllll about my nerdy annual summer anthem. Oh.My.Heck. -- Your life is incomplete until you hear my 2016 anthem. You haven't even lived.

Listen. Love it.

How could I choose any other song for my anthem? I ask you?? Sigh. Gosh, let's listen again. Replay!

You know what I think is so funny, but not funny "haha"?

How hard all parts of yard work felt prior to all we've done this season. Now, what used to seem like a really big fargin' deal seems wimpy and small in comparison. Silver lining of this mess we've gotten ourselves into, I suppose.

So! Yard work extravaganza at the Tremaynes! Otherwise known as: "What the He$$ have we done? Part 2." Ack, it never ends.

Last time we left off this exciting drama, the pond looked like so,

and my brand new flower beds (to get rid of all that extra dirt of course) looked like so.

Check 'em out now, as they're filling out. And as I'm filling in blank spots with clearanced perennials ($1 perennial geraniums? $3 gallon coreopsis? $1 dianthus?? Don't mind if I do!).

Now. NOW-- get yourself a cold bevi and a donut, because let's talk about what happened in the front yard. The plot thickens.

I still had more dirt from the da$% pond fiasco. Still. So I opted to continue the fence line flower beds. I was talking to a gardener extraordinaire friend, and she attempted to talk some sense into me:

"All your flowers will be hidden there." She said.

"You should make a big dramatic flower bed down the center of your yard." she said.

Tonya dear, you are so, so right. I should have listened!! Why didn't I listen?

Wait, I know why. I was already hauling dirt and sod day after day, and one more huge thing like that just might have pushed me over the edge.

So. . .

I like what's going on here. I do. But I still wish I'd have gone with the dramatic look. In fact. . . can't believe I'm saying this. . .

but the more the years go by, the more I'm really into flowers. I'm going to be an 80 year old gardener lady with more flowers than lawn. And I'm totally okay with that. The other day, I went jogging with one of my running buddies who likes flowers too, and we spent nearly the entire 4 mile run talking about plants we like.

I was born an old lady. And look!! I actually have a hydrangea that's decided to bloom!

It's an Independence Day miracle! My other hydrangeas just sit there and do nothing. At least they don't die. But that's about it.

ANYWAYS--

So we're here. Perhaps next year I can go bigger and better. Now--

it totally doesn't matter, because it's over now, but I also opted to dig up all the lava rock we had in our beds along our driveway/up to the front door, and opted to plant instead. (see above, about how I'm an old lady and like flowers.)

It should not have taken this long to remove the lava rock, lay down some new weed barrier, haul in the soil, and get planting--

but holy freakity freak, it took me hours and hours and hours. If I recall, it was a week straight of just these beds. Good grief. I do like the flowers-- but it definitely doesn't make as big of an impact as I hoped. Not a biggie, but a tad disappointing for the effort. Hmm. I should get out and deadhead that dianthus.

I was going to talk about the awesome flowering pear trees I planted in the front park strips. But, no. A horrible windstorm came through and took one of them out-- I'm not through with all the stages of grief, yet. I just. . .can't. Later, maybe. Just know that I had to replace one of them, and now I have one big tree, and one little weenee one. It looks completely ridiculous. Like "Twins", and one is Ahnuld, and one is Danny Devito. It's sad, really.

So guess where we are on the pond, huh huh?!?!

Totally not done. Sooooooo so so close. Maybe we can finish the flagstone work this week. Maaaybe.

Please cross your fingers for us. And your toes. And your eyes. Now keep them like that until I say we're done.

When Life Gets Crazy, Throw In A Extra Project. Or Two.

2016-06-13T11:28:00.002-06:00

The backyard/frontyard renovations are still ongoing, and yet. . .

as if we didn't have enough to do, as if I wasn't overworked, tired, and as if I hadn't spent a small fortune on landscaping items. . .

then I went forward with a project inside the house. Why? Why?? Because I'm crazy. And not like "crazy haha". Crazy crazy. Cray cray. Insane in the membrane. ("Insane in the brain!")

It's a loooong story. But you know those projects, that you know need to get done, and you talk about them getting done for years but they just keep staying near the bottom of your list?

You have those, right?

This is one of those for us. The hardwoods in our kitchen needed to be refinished when we moved in. 7 years later (how in thee world have I lived in this house for 7 years??), a leak in the dishwasher and a very swollen floor later, and we've FINALLY gotten around to doing it.

I'm kinda sorta laughing at this "before" kitchen picture up there-- soo much has changed in here, like the paint color, that cabinet on the right has come down, etc., etc. And let's not talk about my cabs. Let's say we did.

And then don't. I am sooo conflicted about what I want in here-- I've wanted white cabs for years and years, and then I decide I'm totally okay with the maple, then I'm not, then I am. . . now I'm waiting patiently to see what happens in the exciting world of kitchen trends. . .

we'll see.

How in the world can bloggers on the interwebs afford makeover after makeover? Where is all this filthy lucre coming from? And how can I get me some?

The best part about this is that I hardly lifted a finger to get it done. Annnd I'm super happy with the outcome. Gosh it's nice to pay good money to watch other people work really hard around you. It's so very choice.

Let me spoil the surprise and tell you. . .

I went with dark floors. (I'm whispering this in a creepy way.)

I went back and forth and back and forth. . . I honestly like the maple in here. . . dark is harder to keep looking clean. . . I'll see every speck of dust. . .

And yet. Still did it. I just knew it would change the whole look of my house.

Everything got taped off and covered and there was dust everywhere and I couldn't cook for two days and we had lots of fast food and there was a lot of yelling at my kids on my part because "Dang it, son, I told you it wasn't ready to walk on, what are you thinking??"

And here it is stained, but not shellacked. And my house was heavy on fumes and my island was covered in crap they kept pulling out of my pantry to do that part of the floor, and all the windows were open to get the smell out and it was hotter than Hades in here. . .

but it was worth it. Because I love it. I love it I love it I love it. The color is Jacobean, and I knew I would like it because Sarah at Thrifty Decor Chick has that in her house, and I completely trust her because we all know she is the goddess of house decor, amen.

And of course right at this point, I made a comment to the Jeffro about the cabinets (AGAIN) and he said he just knew this would snowball and I'd make a comment about them (AGAIN). But I shall be patient. I'm not made of money, although I like to pretend in my head that I am.

So! The question on everyone's mind: are they hard to keep clean? Yes. Yes they are. However--

I anticipated lots of dust, and dusty footprints. That's not happening. What is happening, however, is that my children are slobs. When they Cookie Monster down a taco in a horribly violent manner, as they inevitably do, I can see every single speck of cheese and saucy beef.

So I'm saying, I sweep a lot now. Because I like the look of a clean, new floor. Who wouldn't?

Annnnd. . . I have a lot of dark furniture. Shucks. My sectional is totally staying, though. But maybe this is my excuse to finally get me that new round table in the kitchen in a lighter tone. . .

As I said, I like to pretend I'm made of money. Let's not ruin the dream.

What The He$$ Have We Done, Part 1.

2016-05-22T20:18:00.004-06:00

You know,

when the Jeffro first talked about putting in a pond, I thought he meant one that was like, this big (Imagine me holding out my arms in a big circle.)

I didn't think he meant a massive, 3+ foot deep, we-need-to-rent-a-mini-excavator-to-get-the-job-done, type pond.

I josh not when I say that I've spent my life working in the yard the past month, nay, it's been two months now, working in my yard.

Sorry neighbors for any unintentional saggy pants I sported during this time. It happens. I don't mean it to, but it does.

It dawned on me the other day, when I was hauling my 100th bag of soil/manure/mulch out of the car:

I'm a farmgirl. But let's go with "farmboy", because that's more fun. So I'm saying to myself,

"Farmboy, polish my horse's saddle. Want to see my face shining in it by morning."

"Farmboy, fetch me that pitcher?" (The one that's right above my head within arm's reach but I'm too lazy and prefer you to be in kissing distance? That one?)

So I'm a farmboy/girl.

ANYWAYS.

Let me tell you how this project has snowballed. It starts with the digging of a monstrous hole in the ground with said mini excavator,

And then things got really exciting and spicy. We found the phone line! The one that wasn't marked by Blue Stake! Gosh, that was fun.

Jeffro and I will be in our rocking chairs on the porch staring at this pond (oh, by the way, the official name for the pond is "the da$% pond". Let's go with that from now on. We certainly do.), anyways-- Jeffro and I will be rocking along in our chairs, staring at the da$% pond, and we'll be 80 years old and we'll be like,

"Remember when we dug up that there phone line? What a hoot."

Because you give everything 20+ years and just about everything that doesn't involve death or dismemberment is a hoot.

So then,

poor little farmgirl me is left with is a massive mountain of dirt in my yard. Massive. This shall never disperse, mountain. Daunting mountain. Brokeback Mountain.

And what does one do with a massive amount of dirt in the yard that must be moved in order to not kill the grass? (Plus I cannot even deal with leaving projects undone?)

(The mountain was bigger than this. He wasn't done yet in this picture. I exaggerate a lot, but on this I'm not pinky swear)

You take this backyard you just pushed forward and fenced in,

and you make the flower beds you've seriously considered putting in all along the fence line, and dang it, you make it happen! Shovel after shovel and wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow-- it happens, dang it. 'Cause the grass don't grow well there anyway, and it's ugly, and it shouldn't be.

And my back ached when I would sleep for weeks and I would dream of shoveling and dumping and SHOVELING AND DUMPING and my hands have new calluses and my fingers look permanently dirty despite the use of work gloves, and I'm probably in the best upper body shape of my life because I'M A FARMGIRL, HERE.

Everything went by the wayside-- my house looks like crap, my nails look like crap, the house is a mess Jack, the kids are a mess Jack, you're a mess Jack. . .

(gosh I love that movie.)

But here we are.

Perhaps you're wondering,

"One small row of flower beds took you that long?"

1. Don't you judge me.
2. I had more dirt. Much more dirt. Thus, the front yard got involved too but let's chit chat about that over donuts next time.
3. Don't you judge me. You don't know! You weren't there!

Meanwhile, the Da$% Pond:

Shaping of the da$% pond is done. Plumbing is set. Supplies are purchased--

but there's a kink in the pond liner plans. But I can't go there yet. It's too soon. The Jeffro is like,

"If we could go back and decide on this again, would we move forward?"

Do you mean do the actual work again?? All over again?? Do you wanna keep your wife?

The Wall of Shame.

2016-03-20T16:01:00.000-06:00

Bonjourno! How the heck are ya?

We're doing great-- we're digging up the lawn ~~to hide dead bodies~~ er I mean to add some more hopefully attractive landscaping features these days. Putting our backs into it. Throwing caution to the wind as far as keeping the pants appropriately pulled up. I mean, we're swinging pick axes out there-- we can't be concerned about propriety, people. C'mon.

Okay. Before we get into a fun lil project I finished up this week, I have to pat myself on the back for a moment:

BREAD BOOT CAMP OVER HERE.

I cannot tell you how many times I've attempted and big-fat-failed in the breads department. I was seriously skipping around the kitchen, grinning ear to ear that these even rose, let alone baked decently and tasted good.

It's the little things. Never mind that the neighbor boy asked for a slice and promptly told me he didn't like it. I said NEVER MIND!

Gosh.

So, once upon a time, I had a wall that looked like so. Remember? Maybe ya do, maybe you don't-

And frankly I'm hoping you don't. It wasn't the clothes pin idea that I'm now embarrassed about-- that was fine. It was the vinyl saying above it that hopefully you can't quite make out. The picture was strategic! All you need to know is that I thought it was hilarious at the time and then came to my senses.

Sigh. I've grown up a little.

So, a lot of the clothes pins had broken over years of use, and it was just lookin' a tad . . . poverty stricken. Shabby. I took it down nearly a year ago and this strange wall that heads downstairs to the man cave stood there empty. I didn't hang any of my kids artwork or good grades-- they all went straight to the trash. I was totally fine with it but for some reason the dang kids didn't like that. Picky, picky.

I knew I wanted something a bit more. . .mouldy. Hmm. That sounds green, furry and nasty; surely there's a better word for more moulding.

I knew I wanted the back of this to be V groove. (oh boy here she goes again talking up that stupid v groove).

I love this stuff!

It's basically larger slatted beadboard. I find it to be so classy, with a slight nod to a farmhouse style. It's very underused. AND speaking of that!

I've got a bone to pick with Lowe's. They don't carry this V groove paneling anymore. In fact, there's a half dozen things they don't carry anymore that I need, from moulding to hot tub products to closet organization. One time, I went there with a list of 4 items and they don't carry ANY ONE OF THEM ANYMORE. I NEED TO STOP YELLING.

It was a very frustrating visit to my local Lowes. You've really let me down, Lowe's. You don't care, but I do.

Go Home Depot! The end.

Anyways! Because I have the world's largest scrap pile, I happened to have a piece left lying around in the garage. Good thing I'm not picky about stuff, 'cause I may have been unhappy with the size otherwise.

I don't typically turn this stuff horizontally, so I's feeling pretty bold and frisky at this point.

So I snapped this picture, and then immediately noticed how absolutely disgusting my wall was. Don't you judge me! You try 20 different kids in a 48 hour period running their little fingers down your wall to the basement. See how your Wendy's Frosty wall color fares okay?

So I scrubbed the wall furiously,

and then went to 2 different Lowe's locations for some MDF. And they didn't have any. Annnnnd they told me the whole country wasn't receiving shipments of MDF right now and everyone was out. 'S what they told me for reals.

So I went to the Depot a block away and picked up some MDF. That wasn't available. Anywhere. No way. No how. Except Home Depot has some, no problem.

Holy crap Lowes you have let me down. I feel like a best friend has stabbed me in the back. Top of my crap list for you!

Ack I'm liking it so much more and I haven't even painted it yet.

Little paint, more wall washing (WHY? Seriously boys), simple string run across and some cute, petite lil clothes pins,

and boom, the kids spared no time to start hanging their crap up on the Wall of Shame. Done, and done.

Suck it, Lowe's.

Lotsa Goings Ons-es.

2016-03-09T10:51:00.000-07:00

G'Day mate! How are ya? Say you're well.

It's beautiful weather here, I've got two projects going down inside the house, and a gajillion projects outside the house, and I'm feeling excited and spring-y and life is just good. Know what I'm sayin'?

Side note; have I mentioned I'm taking sewing lessons? Bless my teacher's pure, patient heart. I'm sure I make thee best stories for other, real sewers. "She did WHAT?"

I don't even know what I'm doing in this picture. I was really excited about this sewing pocket belt thingy we whipped up one lesson, and I was doing this freaky butt slapping dance while taking a picture of it--

which explains why all the pics I took of it are blurry. Hold the freak still, woman.

But back to the point! Life is good. Sewing lessons are happening. Violin lessons (about to enter my 3RD YEAR, people!) are still happening. My new nailgun is seeing lotsa action, and my days are full of fun 'n exciting stuff.

But can we talk about my backyard again? Pwease? Just as a refresher, we've really put our backs into this place the last couple years. If you'll recall,

we started here.

And then, we worked our buns off and got here.

Planters, pergola, and a firepit way back there that I was originally super unhappy about but I really don't give a doodoo about anymore. It is what it is; we use it. we like it. We haven't set fire to many things yet, so that's good.

Anyways, after a few years of deliberation, we opted to move our fence out to be able to utilize the space we have better.

So you can see our original fence on the left, and we were pushing it forward to the new posts on the right, see? Gaining quite a bit of footage on this side of the house,

and enclosing our swings and garden on the other side, and really opening up the firepit/hot tub side. And that's all I want to say about that because I used to be excited about it but we upset the neighbors and now it's a sore subject the end.

Anyways!

Happier subject: my first wheelbarrow! That's something to be excited about. ("If we only had a WHEELBARROW, now that would be something!" name that movie.) Also, I finally caved and traded my pergola swings ropes with chains. Those ropes were just spiky, slivery buggers.

We have soooooo many different ideas floating in our head about how to best utilize the space, make it less of a mowing headache, less of a water sucker, and enjoy the entire space better. But we aren't sure what should go where and if we'll regret more planter space.?. Ack I need someone to come boss me around!

Can I ask you: what's your take on grass vs. planting areas? I do love to plant, really I do-- I'm an animal during the spring and early summer; you could pimp me out anywhere to dig and plant during that time---

and then. . . .

August hits and I want nothing to do with watering and weeding. Burn myself out every.single.time. What's your thoughts? Deep feelings?

What we definitely are going ahead with, as we've already gathered massive quantities of materials, is a water feature.

The Jeffro's sketch. I love it when he sketches stuff up. Sigh. A teeny waterfall into a pond with lilies and fish (I'm seriously trying to talk him out of the danged fish but his heart is set on it). Visible from the windows in the house, the pergola/deck area, and the road. I'm excited! We're excited! Now someone come boss me around some more. Gosh I hope the sprinkler adjusting won't turn into a nightmare.

Moulding. More Moulding.

2016-02-22T13:52:00.000-07:00

Hey hey hey there! Long time, no see! How's your February treating ya?

Can we talk about my family room today? This, is my view from my sofa. Perhaps I'm about to turn on the TV and watch "Better Call Saul" (oh wait, I finished that up. So what now??). I didn't clean the area up; I didn't stage it. There are lots and lots of cords. Too many cords. And dust. Plan on it.

ANYWAYS--

you know what a great thing is about being in my home for nearly 7 years? I don't have many projects left. You know what's sad about it? I don't have many projects left. Seriously, I have a small list of things I'd love to see happen in this house, and they are all HUGE, monstrous projects that will be a huge pain and cost a fortune (hellloooo coffered ceilings).

My brother really wants me to sell and move by him. . . . which does mean more walls to mould. . . but that's a big ole topic for another time.

ANYWAYS AGAIN--

Here we have my family room. I stare at this area a lot-- I ponder on extending my mantel all the way to the left across that wall like my dad told me to in the first place (dang it Daddy-o! Why didn't I listen to you? Sigh.)-- I've pondered on making that area below the TV where my subwoofer and playstation and all that junk goes look better and hide the cords-- I'm tempted to put moulding on that half wall thingy that goes up the stairs. . . can you see it? Perhaps an angled box of moulding on there? Would that look strange? Nobody's even following me on this anymore.

One little thing I do have left to do, is to add some trim on the top of that wall going up the stairs. You know, the one I so kindly pointed out down there with the arrows?? So it matches the trim on the wall going up. Let's call them the "drywall banisters". Mmkay?

Oh.my.heck. I should have done this ages ago-- some friends really shouldn't have, but they gave me a Home Depot gift card and I ran right out and bought myself this.

My first battery powered nailer. I know! It seems so stupid to buy another one when I already have an air compressor in the garage with a perfectly decent nailgun, BUUUT this is soo handy for those simple little projects when you don't want to fill your compressor up for just one teensy little thing. Serious, I've fixed a whole bunch of stuff around my house I'd been putting off since I got this. Huzzah! More small moulding projects to come. You just wait 'n see.

So I got down to biznis and picked up some MDF, ripped it to be just a half inch or so wider than my "Drywall Banister", and then went ahead and routed it for a nice curve.

I know, I know- it looks amazing up there all MDF-y. I matched this one to look like the other wall below it, but truth be told I'd prefer to have beefed it up, but for the sake of continuing what I'd already done, you know-- to be "consistent" (huge air quotes), well, here we are. So it has come to this. I added moulding on the sides to give it some more beefyness (just like the other one),

and a coat of paint, and voila. I shoulda done this ages ago. Ages. Gosh, I've been in a rut this winter.

It's a simple thing from down below, huh? I never thought I would say that my stairs are one of my favorite things in my house. Never ever never. Recall that I use to call it the crotch of the house-- and now I love it. No more crotchyness! And a new word to boot.

Ack, I do believe this new tool has breathed new life in some moulding projects. . . (rubs hands together; evil grin).

Oops, I Did It Again.

2016-01-26T07:18:00.003-07:00

So I just keep doing that thing where I get on here and complain to you about how I take my kids on trips and I don't think it's worth it waaa waaa blah blah. I won't do that again. Because apparently,

I am a glutton for punishment. Why else would we take our kids on another cruise this year? Because we are crazy. Freakin' weirdos.

Actually, it was our best trip thus far. So I guess practice does make perfect, even traveling practice.

But that's not what I want to talk about today. I told ya the last time we talked that I got a new lens. I really wasn't sure what I thought about it and was thisclose to returning it.

And then I took it on this trip and decided that I cannot live without it/where have you been all my life?. Oh, also, this picture above is like "Where's Waldo?" in Mandi form. And this is the only picture I have of me on this trip.

That's what happens when I'm the camera wielding nerd. Lots n lots of pictures; none of me. Just the way I like it.

So,

I've been studying photography for about 8 ish years now, and I really feel like I'm stuck in a rut and not improving. Sad face. Get out your teeny violin and play me a little something.

Hopefully I can continue to improve; but in the meantime,

I really wanted to get into videography. With only the equipment I currently have. Can't be spending more cash on equipment, knowwhatI'msayin'?

So a lot of this trip was spent figuring out how to use my camera in video mode, and it went. . . ooookay. I learned a lot. And I still have a long way to go.

But ANYWHO! I threw together a video of our trip. Typically I'm a slideshow nerd; and this time I'm a music video nerd. Emphasis on nerd.

So, there was the camera/video learning curve, annnd the video editing software curve, too. I like a challenge.
In short: we had a great time. Thanks for listening. Gosh, you guys are supportive.

What We've Been Up to.

2016-01-04T22:26:00.001-07:00

Happp-py New Year! (said in an obnoxious exaggerated tone). How was your holidays? Ours were fantastic. Lots of family, lots of food, lots of weight gained (ugg. Swear word, sigh), lots of snow, lots of chaos. . .

(Watch out. Sledding train. And they want to take your legs out from under ya, ya sucker.)
I'm crying inside that my hubby headed back to work and my kids went back to school. Time really does fly when you're having fun. And eating, whilst having fun.
And now we're back to real life. Early mornings and carrot sticks and homework and Science Fair crap. (clenches fists. Ohhh curse you science fair.).
But ANYWAYS.
I typically go in full hibernation mode during winter time. ("She's alive, and in perfect hibernation." Yep. Carbon Freeze.) It's just. . . too DOGGONE cold in the garage to be using power tools. I cannot stand it out there! You could totally cut off a digit and you wouldn't even know for a while because you were already numb.
But did I mention I got myself a new jig saw? Teehee. Yes ma'am I sure did. It's a Bosch and it's all I ever dreamed of and I actually bought all the correct nice blades for it 'n everything. . .
Since I had that, and I also needed/wanted something wintery to go on the front door, I decided to make Ana's monogrammed snowflake . 'Cause why the heck not. Drown out my sorrows with my jig saw.
Note to self: grabbing a scrap of lumber out in the garage that is 1/8" too small sounds like a great idea, and you think you can adjust for that measly 1/8", but your math skills bite and you can't.

It took me about 30 minutes to measure and do craptastic "adjusting", and probably about 40 minutes to cut it all out, and don't you judge me for my lack of jigsaw skills. I'm getting better, okay? Gosh.

Little bit of metallic spray paint in the frigid garage,

And boom. Huge, heavy snowflake on the door. I expect this bad boy to fall at about 2am tonight and scare the poo out of me. Side note! I picked up a new, pricey lens for my camera over the Christmas break. I'm. . . I'm not. . . really. . . loving it thus far. These pictures are just so so. Hmm. Anyways, I have hee-uge plans for my living room next, but gosh dang it, it's got to raise at least 10 degrees during the day. Waaaaay too many cuts with Jaws to make out there.

I Don't Even Know Who I Am Anymore.

2015-12-02T15:27:00.001-07:00

I cannot believe I'm saying this either,

but I have done a complete about-face with painting.

I've whined, complained, gone on and on until someone wants to smack me around a while,

and. . .I'm like a new woman. I actually like painting! A ROOM, that is. Flat walls, that is. Painting a project with little nooks and crannies that take 5 coats? Nope. Nuh uh. It's like having my gums scraped.

So, check it.

My boudoir. It's been this color for 6+ years now. There's nothing particularly wrong with this color;

and nothing really right, either.

I'm telling you, I'd wake up some mornings, and go,

"Pink. PINK! WHY?"

Pink tones, peeps.

"Good, 'cause we're racing for pinks."

"Pinks?"

"Pinks you punk! Pink slips? Ownership papers?"

Name that movie. Grease! I beat ya.

I should have changed this up 5 years ago, but, well, my serious aversion to picking up a paintbrush talked me out of it every.single.time. I'd see myself cutting around all the moulding in this room and I'd just shake my head and walk away.

So why the change of heart, you ask?

I can now accept that painting a room will take me the day, and then. . .

I turn on a favorite show and listen while I work.

This project's movies? Thanks for asking. "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels",

("'Scuse me, may I go to the bathroom first?. . . . . . . . .thank you.")

And "Mannequin". Gah, I love a good 80's movie.

So I took a big chance with a navy wall-- I'm not a big dark wall fan typically, but I do love it. And the other color-- a friend picked it out for me in 5 minutes flat (thank you Tonya!), and it's like this icy gray-blue sitch that I can never figure out and keeps me guessing. I wasn't sure about this color at first but now I love it. It's a mystery. An enigma.

Annnnnd it's very masculine. Speaking of which, my husband loves the colors (done without permission, cough, while he was away on business), and now the room isn't sooo, estrogenal. Not a word. But it should be.

Of course I still have and love my vanity! And of course that's extremely feminine (you need one. Seriously this is in my top 3 fave house projects), but having this wall color took the space down a notch. In a good way.

And here we have the wall with the faux random fireplace mantel. Bwahahaha I put that "J" back up there backwards again, didn't I? Not my first time, and def not my last.

So? Boom. It's like a whole new room.

Who'd have thought I'd ever come to terms with painting? And guess what? I'm even learning to love winter, too. Nope, no head injuries, either.

Old School.

2015-11-16T18:19:00.003-07:00

This crazy kid turned 8.

Just letting that sink in. My youngest son is 8 years old. . sniffle. . .

I can't get over this picture. He was like, what? 4? It tugs at my heart strings.

And here he is at the actual age of 8, in all his crazy browed glory. I had to say it before someone else did. Always wanted him to be Jareth from Labyrinth for Halloween, but he won't have it. You're half way there, buddy! Be the Goblin King!

I think crazy brows are better than angry brows. Crazy is interesting, but angry is just angry. Well, I suppose that could be interesting, too.

ANYWHO.

So all this little kid wanted was a desk. No idea why; but he's begged for one for almost two years now, and I figured this birthday was as good as any.

And I was all geared up to build him an old school type desk. Had the Daddy-o on it to draw me up some simple desk plans, because I don't do math. Well. . . if I can help it.

And then instead of just drawing me up some plans, the Daddy-o was awesome enough to just build one for my little dude.

And he made this totally awesome creation. We have to talk about this bad boy-- because I think you should make one for your crazy browed son, too. You wish you had a ceramic milk carton like I do, huh. I know. You're jealous.

It opens up for some fan freakin tastic storage. And the beauty of this desk? Super cheap, and ultra light weight. I mean, it's amazing how easy it is to move around. My kids can pick it up and hoist it over their heads for crying out loud.

And I got to thinkin'-- I was all, "self, what if someone else wants to build this fabulous cheap ultra light desk?"

Well looky what we have here. The Daddy-o's pictures as he worked, and his plans, complete with a parts list that he was kind enough to scan in for moi. And for you, too. He says you're welcome.

Now, I totes recognize that these plans don't hold your hand. But if you've followed even a couple other plans to build a little something something this shouldn't be too much of a step up. Totally doable, peeps. You know how to get the job done. Fist pound.

Can you see what's going on all up in here? You're cutting the angled pieces to give it that neat-o 1950's school desk look,

with a simple butt joint to the back piece. Heh. I said butt.

Lotsa wood glue. Lotsa clamping.

Take a look-see -- Johnny- the-8-year-old-crazy-browed-one loved his desk so much that my other kids were kinda jealous. And thus the school desk conveyer belt began.

Poor grandpa.

See how he used piano hinges for the lid? He actually bought the long ones and cut them in half.

This picture shows the top pencil holder that's so nifty. He used a router to do that. And that's all I have to say about that because I'm not really quite sure how he did it either.

A quick coat of shellac,

And all my spoiled little butt munches got their own desk (the original one being already upstairs in it's designated spot).

With an adorable little note inside and out for each child. Awe. That Daddy-o. Everyone needs one.

So we love them! You could paint it, you could stain it, but we're going au naturel. It's who we are. Wood purists of a sort. Make one. Or more. Your kids'll love you for it.

I Don't Know Why I Go Anywhere With You People.

2015-11-01T11:18:00.000-07:00

My sister in law says to me,

"I thought you swore you wouldn't take your kids anywhere again for a long time?"

Oh, right. I did say that. What the heck is wrong with me?

So, check it.

We just finished an upstate New York trip. And it was wonderful.

Wonderfully amazing that my children weren't grounded for a month when we got home.

Actually, it really was wonderful, despite my children.

They were really really good in a lot of ways. Nothing to complain about with their behavior on an airplane or in the car. Great behavior at restaurants--

but plenty to complain about whilst sightseeing. I like to think of it as sightseeing with a bunch of poo flinging monkeys who keep egging each other on. Poking each other and pulling hair and picking each other's noses.

And on a side note, for the love, don't go to Niagara without your passports-- the American side leaves so much to be desired and the Canadians were partying like it was 1999 and it was like we had our faces pressed against the glass watching the party from the outside. So sad.

Anyway.

I can't believe that this was all in 2015; in my head 2015 has been over several years but at the same time it's November but the year is compressed into a month-- (how in the world is it November already?)

but my kids are spoiled, dang it. And I have no one to blame but me.

They've done San Fran.

And everything the area has to offer. (Many thanks to my bro-chacho and his sweet wife for allowing us to tag along.)

They went on a cruise. Again. (Many thanks to our traveling companions, my sweet sister in law and bro in law for still talking to us afterward.)

Side note, you should hear my thoughts on those of us who are sitting poolside in a shirt and shorts trying to cover up our imperfections whilst the other adults are letting it allll hang out, leaving nothing to the imagination all around us, and the irony of it all.

But some other time.

And then there was the chance to see Charleston and the Carolinas a bit, and of course several trips around the great state of Utah blah blah blah yak yak yak etcetera.

We went places, mkay. We did a lot of stuff this year.

And in my parental head, I was telling myself that it makes memories, right?

My kids will appreciate this all. Later. Perhaps much, much later.

RIGHT?

Or at the very least, I'm training my children to be good travelers. Appreciative sightseers, if you will.

Because right now, I'm scratching my head wondering why I emptied my hubby's skymiles and used his hotel points and spent tons of money eating out and gained five pounds and tortured myself with an entire day's worth of packing for 6, and then the hades of all that laundry when we got back.

Only to have my kids poo fling and wet willy and whine and pout in public places for the whole world to see. 'Cause we can stay home. It's much simpler to stay put 'n stuff.

So, it's character building, right? Sigh.

How Many Mandis Does It Take To Finish A Table?

2015-10-08T09:55:00.002-06:00

I'm feeling mixed emotions of both shame and pride that it took me so long to finish my Restoration Hardware Knockoff Corbel Table.

On one hand (go ahead and picture me weighing these up and down in my hands kay), I'm happy I took a chill pill and let this project just go with the flow, and then my get-it-done personality is just dying inside that it took me so long.

I'm a complex person.

ANYWAY.

I've already said that I have been obsessed with this table for years. I know. But it speaketh to my soul. It just does. Actually anything sold at Restoration Hardware speaks to me, just not my bank account. And when I saw this Corbel desk knock off,

Well, let's just say it took me three years to man up and decide I could take on the jigsaw and get this done.

Side note! If you're really digging these corbels too, know that the link up there will take you to his design that you can print out (5 pages total) and use to get exactly what he's got going on up there. What a nice guy.

Nobody gives a doodoo,

but I used his design too, with the exception of the very top of the corbel; I modified mine to have the flat top routed piece like Restoration's, so my glass could sit flat on top.

That was like listening to the Charlie Brown principal over the speaker, huh? Sorry.

Wanna talk about price? I like talking about money. So I used 2 2x12's at 12 feet long, and those bad boys are a little over $20 a piece. $45 ish for the legs-- not too bad, right? Let us consider that buying the actual table would cost me $1200 ish.

And these legs are crazy heavy.

I anchored them into my wall, believe me. Can't have anyone dying when a corbel falls over.

In hindsight, I'd have used a darker, less warm stain. This pine really took my oft used Dark Walnut very warmly. I'm okay with it, but would have slightly preferred something a titch darker/colder.

Good thing I'm so satisfied with mediocrity 'cause this crap could keep me up nights.

I ordered a glass top (for, cough, $40, cough)

and after very serious debates on where this desk/table should go (definitely almost my LAST choice), it's ending up in my living room. Don't talk about the aquarium next door! Arrrrggg I'm going to kill some fish soon. I used to love that thing but it's the red headed step child of this space.

So I love this desk! I'm still trying to get over where it's actually located (don't get me started) but I love this desk!

I too think something should go above it. Working on it as we speak.

And did you see I finally picked up a horse head? All is right in the world.

The Follow Up.

2015-09-29T17:41:00.005-06:00

I've said I'd do this for over a year, and today I'm sucking it up and getting it done.

But first,

can you believe it's been over 2 years that I've been taking violin lessons? Me neither.

Our lives are just a flash in the pan. Life unravels at top speeds. If you want to destroy this sweater, hold this thread while I walk away.

And so forth.

ANYWAY-

I said for over a year I'd throw a video of my, (cough) progress on here. It's a 30 second snippet, so don't get all excited or anything.

My violin teacher was kind enough to play a duet with me. I kind of idolize her, just a little. She knows it but she's too classy to show it. I looked up the female equivalent of "bromance", and it suggests either "womance" or "homance". I ain't no ho, so I'm going with the former.

We should talk about her music room because my stars, I love the board and batten with the dark walls.

I own that my bowing is backward. And intonation, or any screw ups, again all me. But what's important here is that I haven't quit! I have zero intentions of doing so! I'm still liking it! And for how much time I put into it I should be amazing but apparently there is not a shred of innate talent for this inside me.

But such is life. I hesitantly embrace my mediocrity.

So, about that other thing we talked about. . .

you know. Plastic surgery. Milllions of people have asked me what I decided about that (cough. 2 people.), and I thought I'd follow up on that too. Absolutely zero linkage to the last plastic surgery confession. I have my pride. So to the point:

I honestly don't see it happening.

Here's why:

$4,000. Trading lots of scars for other scars. Hubby swears he doesn't care. And since I'm not one, to, you know, like, mow the lawn in a bikini, I think it's only really his opinion that matters. Let's just gather up that extra skin and pretend like it never happened.

But mainly, I don't think I can handle the down time. If you're a close buddy, you know what a complete and utter baby I am when I just get like, a cold. I cannot deal with not being fully functional. I cry when I'm sick, people. For realsies. Weeks of laying down while the house fell down around me would send me crying over the edge.

Also, $4,000. I can think of a lot of ways to spend that kind of cash. (helloooo new hardwood floors. . .)

And last but certainly the least cared about:

I still actually do run. It's been three years since I announced my intention to hit the pavement, and I still . . . "like" it.

As much as one can "like" their daily exercise routine. Also, these shoes are sooo long gone.

I talked to a friend the other day and she blurted out that she will never ever run because it's too trendy. I laughed my bum off, I tell ya. Even the most avid runner has to admit that it's true.

via

And I was okay for the last 2 and a half years with my short, slooooow jog around the town. I'm shocking myself when I say that I'm kind of sort of contemplating training for just a half next year. That I will only try ONCE and NEVERMORE. I've upped my distance the last little bit and felt, dare I say it? A little bit surprised and proud of myself.

But we'll see. Don't hold me to it. I'm satisfied doing what I'm doing right now. Like I said: mediocrity.

Craptastic Projects By Mandi.

2015-09-11T12:29:00.005-06:00

And I thought I was so unique and creative.

Original. New.

Au contraire, mon frere.

My um, shelf liner dollar store "wallpaper"--

After googling it for just a second, I see that this has been done, and it's been done for years.

So this shelf liner from Dollar Tree-- it's basically just regular ole contact paper. Except, you know, one dollar instead of like, $5.

So check out this roundup on contact paper wallpaper:

Yeah. Look at all the funsies stuff you can do. Kinda wanna do those polka dots up there. Somewhere. If there was one blank wall left in this place.

Do you see how easy this is? This is the backing with the grid on it so you can cut it super duper easy,

and then you're just peeling the backing away and STICKING IT TO THE WALL, BABY. Boom clap. No plaster, no extra glue, no wetting it down, no nothin'. And the cherry on top is you can keep repositioning it over and over and overandoverandover.

I tried it. It works. It still sticks and stays.

And then smooth it out if there's a bubble here or there. With like your very favorite Amazon visa card like I did. It won't give you Amazon points to buy with, but it should.

And again, for funsies,

a few Dollar Tree options. The faux bois shelf liner could totally work in a quirky area, in somebody's hip house. Not mine, but somebody's. Else's.

And since we're talking about my small dark, dank, currently (and eternally) urine-y smelling powder room,

just know that I finally repainted it. No more mister nice guy.

It's now a lovely greige. You shamed me into it. And . . .thank you. Now I'll go scrape off the paint drips on the toilet tank.

Powder Rooms & Urine Cocktails.

2015-09-01T10:32:00.000-06:00

I guess I ought to start out with a warning:

Don't you judge the paint color in my powder room. It's horrid. I know this. It's number 2 on my painting list, okay? This was back before I realized that picking a paint color was similar in complication to brain surgery.

I didn't know! I was just a child! A babe in home decor, if you will.

ANYWAYS-

I still can't believe that I did this or thought this was a good idea,

(pictures from Houzz)

but have you kinda seen how people are throwing up some wallpaper in teeny spaces?

And I actually like it!

I can't believe I'm saying this, as one who has fought the good fight of removing massive quantities of 80's wallpaper from walls, I was going to do this to myself again. ?.

So it has come to this.

And it was like, way fun to search for a black & white wallpaper (isn't it like, totally obvi that I would choose black & white? Is there any other color scheme for me?) for the first couple of months.

Yeah, I'm saying I looked a looong time. Online, at a couple stores, etc.

Couple things here:

-Wallpaper can be extremely expensive.

-And then some of it isn't even washable.

HELLO. In a bathroom, where nearly every day there's a new urine cocktail of several boys' (some of them mine, some not mine) urine?

I'm going to spend like $50 ish bucks to do just one wall in my powder room and not be able to wash it?

So the plan sat and sat. And I'd browse the interwebs some more for fun here and there.

I can't tell you where I got my wallpaper. I'm too embarrassed. No! Don't ask me.

Just know this: it's removable and repositionable. I'm serious, this stuff is awesome. See the square up there? I had to try it out for a second. WE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT NOT TALKING ABOUT THE PAINT GOSH.

Alright, fine. Just drag it out of me, would you? Take it to the grave though. Take. it. to. the. grave.:

Not even wallpaper. It's shelf liner. It's so, so easy to move around and take down, and it doesn't fall down on it's own at all. I know because it's been up for a while now. And I can't say where I got it. Just one small small hint. Let's call this place, D Tree. No, no. That's too obvious. Let's call it, Dollar T.

I slapped this stuff up there with reckless abandon. I wasn't careful, I didn't try to line it up, it's so sloppy it's ridiculous, and I really don't care. Know why?

I spent $3.

And I think it's a really busy pattern, so you can get away with sloppy when it's a cray cray pattern.

I really like it and think it's funsies, but I get sick of stuff fast, and when I feel like taking this down, and that could be tomorrow, or in ten years, it's going to take me 10 minutes and we can even pretend like it never happened.

Sports guy chest bump.

Stuff I Feel Like Talking About.

2015-08-19T17:41:00.000-06:00

Okay. First of all,

this just happened. Every single kid, in school, same schedule, all day. It's too soon to even talk about all the mixed, up and down neurotic emotions I'm feeling right now.

It's good, and yet it's sad. But it's so, so good. And yet. . . melancholy.

ANYWAY.

Check out this totally awesome apron I got for working out in thee ole gay-rage:

I love this old canvas-y leather-y thing to keep the sawdust off my person. Okay this shot isn't working for me, here. New shot.

She's armless! Creepy. I like this apron too too much to ever like, stain or paint in it. Keep off the sawdust? Sure. My dad wears a labcoat whilst working out in thee ole shop. I should get one of those, too.

Okay, so-- here's the thing:

This corbel desk has been a strange obession of mine for years.

A blogging friend's handy dad built this (website here) and I loved it then and I STILL LOVE IT AND CAN'T GET OVER IT. He built this 3 years ago. Can't believe it's been that long, but a few months ago, I just like, had to have this desk for an entryway desk. It's a knockoff of Restoration Hardware's fabulous desk:

Say you love it! I love it! I don't have the $1200 it takes to buy this but I do have a jigsaw and a lot of love to give.

The only reason I didn't get all up on this three years ago was because I thought it was too hard. Well I thought it through and decided to still go for it because I'm not right in the head.

Lotsa jigsawing going on here, people. This is 2x12x12's, and there's 8 separate pieces to jigsaw.

Hard to cut but definitely fun to take lots of pictures from weird angles.

(that website I linked to up there has PDF files you can print out for the same pattern. I altered mine just slightly. Kind of for a different look/laziness.)

Don't you people be judgin my garage- I got all up on that after I snapped this shot okay.

This was a lot of hours. And a crap-ton of sawdust. But I'm excited. Already stained 'em a dark color, and I'm going to attempt the glass on top. . .keep your fingers crossed. . . squeezing my eyes shut hoping. . .

Losing My Faith In Humanity, & Other Grouchy Stories.

2015-07-29T23:27:00.004-06:00

Before I commence flinging poo,

I do want to say first off that my summer is going smashingly. I just currently have an axe to grind. A bone to pick. Heads to bust.

(just trying to lighten the mood with gratuitous, unrelated pictures)

Do you ever feel like several related things happen at once? I totally feel like similar things happen at one time to teach one a lesson. I need to learn something real important here, and it's one of these:

1. some people suck and I should put up a defensive brick wall and stop trying
OR

2. something else I'm not willing to learn right now because holy crap I'm ornery.

Indulge me with a story. I'll do my best to sum up.

One month ago, I pulled out of my driveway to take my daughter to kindergarten, (yeah, we were still in school a month ago. Sad) and my neighbor directly across the street pulled out at the same time. Long story short (too late), I didn't see her, she didn't see me, and our bumpers met in the middle of the street.

Since we were going 2 miles per hour, it was absolutely minor. Little missing paint scrape on her bumper, little more damage to mine, both of us going "holy cow sorry I didn't see you!" at the same time, with a "well, no big deal! Sorry again!" and off we went. After all, we both have old cars, and what's one more not really noticeable scrape?

But, no.

(still trying. 'S not working.)

Three weeks later, the same neighbor (she's not actually my neighbor, she's like, the sister? whatevs) shows up demanding my insurance information and more accusations that no, we didn't hit bumpers, I hit her in the driver side door, and she wants it fixed.

(Really? Really?? How'd ya get out of your car so we could talk if I hit ya in the driver's side? Why in the world would we go inspect bumpers together if you got hit on your side?? WHATEVER. ARGG)

Ugg. How are people this dishonest? I'm typically very NOT confrontational, but this one was so obviously wrong that I really let it all out.

I spent a looong time on the phone today with my insurance company telling every detail of my side of the story, and guess what? It doesn't matter. It's her word against mine, and she'll file and get what she wants, and this is why some people suck.

IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING.

One more quickie, and I promise to stop the word vomit.

For several years now, I've considered volunteering my time to cross elementary school kids across a busy street on the way to and from school. A lot of kids cross there, and they're giving me a heart attack. (No, children-- you can't push the flashing yield sign and then dart out in the road immediately.)

This year seemed like a good year to really get out there and do it, until my brother in law warned me that I could be held liable, should something bad happen.

For realsies, people? I wouldn't be getting paid, I'd be out there in sunshine, rain, butt cold conditions, whatever, on my own time, for no reason except to try and keep your dang kid safe, but if something bad happened, I should take the fall.

I'm getting all riled up right now. Okay, okay. Deep, calming breaths. Smelling the roses, blowing out the candles.

I won't torture you with my other similar occurrences, but there's several other little things that have proven to me that no good deed goes unpunished.

And I'm just waiting for one (or more!) of the neighbor moms to tell me off for how I watched their kid(s) and fed their kid(s) the whole summer break the wrong way. Keep your own dang kids, then. I'll keep mine.

Yeah, it's like that today. I should just go to bed. I'll apologize later when I'm out of my mood.

No Talky Talky.

2015-07-08T22:01:00.002-06:00

Can't. . .talk. . .

doing this. . .

and this. . .

and this

intermingled with

and

mixed with this cuteness,

and a little a this,

with lotsa this,

and then there was this.

and there probably shouldn't have been this. . .

but definitely lotsa this.

Let's get together real soon and we'll chit chat. Kiss kiss hug hug.

Summer Lovin', Had Me a Blast. . .

2015-06-24T14:52:00.001-06:00

Every year I think I use that title for a post. How unoriginal.

Oh! Random side note! I actually got on Instagram. I'm shocked, you're shocked. We're all shocked. I've got that neat-o little "Follow me On Instagram" button on the side, there. Over, over- to the right- your other right. There. Let's be Instafriends.

ANYWAY.

Holy heck people, it's summer. Do you feel naughty? I feel naughty. I feel like I've blown off life and nothing really matters except for having fun. And eating. Donuts.

Said it before 'n I'll say it again:

Winter is punishment for all the fun you had in summer.

I'm planning on some serious punishment coming my way in 6 months, 'cause nothin's really getting done around here. Kids are still in school-- I'm not even asking if they have homework anymore. Don't ask, don't tell policy.

So! Every year I do this nerdy thing where I pick a song. A theme song, if you will. A summer theme song that every time I hear said song for years to come it reminds me of good times while the sweat drips annoyingly down all my cracks and cleavages. Popsicles 'n sun. Gardening and sprinklers. And so forth.

Last year, I chose this goodie:

I still love this song. And now it belongs to 2014.

This year, I choose this fabulous number:

Ack, I love it so. As always, listen to it while we chat here, because we are not done. Oh no, not even close. Got a year?

So!

Every summer I shift my attention from the inside of the house to the outside. I'm only one person, dang it! I can do inside or out. Not both. Let's not be silly.

Did you see that picture way up there?

I showed you last year how I planted some honeysuckle and had high hopes for it.

And look how well it did in one season! Only a foot high starting out, and now it's climbing all over my arbor. Gosh, I love stuff that grows.

And that I don't kill.

This gardening stuff is totally addicting and totally expensive. Holy crap, batman, it's a thriving industry. I look at fabulous flower beds and admire them, and then the very next thing I do is start adding up an estimate on the cost of it all. We've all gone into the wrong business-- nurseries are where it's at.

I have too many flower beds. Honestly, I can't keep up with all my flower beds everywhere.

And I'm doing my best to buy pretty perennials and to buy them clearanced, but I have to take it one season at a time to not spend like our life savings on plants.

(Let's not talk about what I spent this season alone on the north side of my house. Choke. Gag. Red face and eyes bulging.)

So! Hopefully in a couple more seasons my beds will be filled out and really where I'd like 'em to be.

Small project! (squeal)

My kitchen window has a lovely view of my pergola (last season's mucho expensive-o project).

Oh, there that window is, all hidden behind the grill. So sad- no moulding. Welp, the grill got taken off the deck, and there the kitchen window sat. Naked.

So I pulled out some old cedar boards I had lying around (we're talking just cheap dog eared fence posts), cut them to length, stained 'em the same tone as the pergola, and attached them with some metal brackets and concrete anchors (they work great for stucco, y'all). Like so.

I love this totally simple shelf! I love that I can put whatever I want on it. I need extra space for food whilst entertaning out here? No problem! Set it on the shelf.

Wow this is a ghetto view. Don't you judge me. But looky what we have here:

I'm doing the dishes and I get to look at some potted petunias and such out my window now. 'N that makes me happy. I think it'd be lovely with a sweet potato vine hanging down. On to something. I just might have to do that.

Side note! Do you love the old world terracotta pot look?

A bloggy buddy has a great tut on how to make your terracotta pots look old. I didn't follow all the directions to make mine as cool as hers because I am nothing if not lazy, but for me, it was "Make It Stone" spray paint and a little bit of light sanding. Boom. Old pots. Me likey.

I love this shelf! And I need a greenhouse so I can grow my own stuff and save a wad. But that's no biggie, right?

I Hate People. Some People. Handymen People.

2015-06-14T11:11:00.002-06:00

Can you believe that it was over three months ago that I mentioned having my kitchen redone?

I swear, the older I get, weeks pass like days, and months like weeks. It's nuts. My life is just a flash in the pan.

Kay, so, I'm getting mad even thinking about this. Furrowed brow and scrunched up face. My head is wagging and so is my finger. I hired this dude and paid a down to have my cabinets "professionally" refinished 10 weeks ago.

Do you know how many times I could have refinished my cabinets all by myself in 10 weeks? Ew I'd like to junk punch somebody. And the thing is, I have zero desire to do all that work myself, hence paying this dude (who had great reviews, by the way, until I'm through with him. Sinister voice. Maniacal laughter.).

Alright alright, I'm going on and on, so let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up:

The guy won't give me a straight answer about when he's going to be able to get here and do this. I've asked him first politely to stop stringing me along and be profesh, OR

send back my deposit and I will curse his name to the end of my days. Oy.

The most pathetic part, is I distinctly remember, as I signed a contract and wrote out a check, something along these lines:

"I will have a heart attack and die from the surprise if this guy actually shows up on his appointed day."

Because that's the kind of experience I've had every.single.time whilst hiring out something. Just do it yourself people! Or send me your responsible, non-jerkface guy's info, because I'm striking out.

But anyways! On to happier things! The sun is out and it's beautiful out there and we simply cannot, cannot have this kind of negativity in our lives. Of course not.

So, in preparation for the nonexistent cabinet reno,

I pulled down this random lone cabinet buddy. (Except it wasn't decorated like this- it was super cute with these dainty little tea cups and saucers and a tea pot and it was just adorbs, because hello, it's not fall.)

Anyway, I pulled this down. All by myself. When no one was home. On a stepladder. And it was like one of the dumbest things I've ever done because it was ultra heavy and I was pretty freaked there for a minute thinking,

"I'm going to fall off this stepladder and this thing is going to fall on my head and no one will know and my kids will find me and they'll be traumitized for life because there's their mom, like all decapitated on the kitchen floor and their lives will be ruined and then they'll live in a cardboard box."

But thankfully I manhandled this bad boy down to the ground, and while it wasn't pretty, it got done. And I've learned an important lesson, kids.

Then I began building the crappiest floating shelves that ever were.

I'm serious-- they're crappy. This is not my first rodeo, hello, but for whatever reason I sucked these up. Despite my best intentions, they are not my best work. I was having a seriously off day. (Chosing too deep of shelves to be cantilievered: check.)

But let's not talk about that now- I like them for now. I like open shelving. Love it and have always wanted that for this space.

I hemmed and hawed over white, stained, rustic, or black, and went with black for funsies. Also, love love the one coat of black.

And the funnestest part was putting my new black n white dishes from Ikea up here.

Honestly, I can't say for certain that these will stay for any length of time because my shoddy work bugs me. I like them for now, but reserve the right to switch them out with fancy corbels 'n such. I like changes in my most lived in space, what can I say.

Also, send me your best prank ideas, would ya? This handyman guy deserves a little harmless something his way. I've got a few ideas, and they involve dog poop and firecrackers.

Dang It Jim, It's a Family Room, Not Rocket Science.

2015-06-04T17:55:00.001-06:00

I have so much to say about my living room reno and I don't even know where to start.

But let's start with this:

pillows in this home prior to now have been the bane of our existence. When I picked up new pillows this time, we had a family convo that went a little something like this:

"You kids see these pillows? They are going to stay right here. You got me? They don't belong in your room. You don't get to sleep on them.. They don't go in the basement. They don't belong on the floor. They're not for pillow fights. You are old enough to leave these dang pillows alone. ALONE. They will stay here and not move. None of y'all are two years old anymore, and you can handle this. Got it?"

This is why we can't have nice things.

I give up on the throw blanket laying just so on the sofa in the magazine spread. Any way I lay it, it just isn't working like in the mags. Whatevs.

Okay. Now, let's get into it:

Have you ever, like, unintentionally sabotaged your own decorating plans? My decorating style is black and white. Black. White. This isn't complicated.

And yet here we are staring at black and CREAM. Black and actual, true, WHITE is like impossible to find. I didn't even realize I was bringing home fluffy fuzzy furry pillows that weren't white. Even Ikea has black and "white" (CREAM. Agggg. Why?). I'm over it, but I just wanna know if it's hard for other people to stick to their personal code of décor.

Okay. Enough about pillows. So I got some new pillows. I also got myself a coffee table.

I like this coffee table a lot, and I really liked the price. But truthfully I regret not bringing in more white to the space. A white coffee table would've been cool. Just being honest even though I want to punch myself in the face for saying it. But do you see what I mean? You don't keep your eye on the prize and realize just how you want things to be, and you sabotage yourself.

Still like it though. I swear I'm really not picky. I do like this space a lot. I just could've thought through things a little more is all.

Rugs. Ho man-- rugs. Don't let me bore you, here--

but doesn't it seem like a good idea to bring in some texture with a rug? Like a sisal rug, right? That was my idea. I picked one up at Overstock, umkay. The Safavieh Hand-woven natural fiber natural jute rug to be exact, and we lived with it for two weeks in place. Not like this picture. Like for reals furniture back in it's spot 'n everything.

Here it is getting ready to be rolled back up.

#1: this rug is not sisal. They've since changed the name to jute, because that's what it is, duh.

#2. This rug stinks.

#3. This rug is a filthy mess.

#4. This rug looked 10 years old in 2 weeks and was getting big holes in it after 1 week.

I don't even need to go on but you look at all the dirt falling out of this thing:

Can you see that? That's not from us. We are filthy animals but that was from this rug. People warned about it in comments but I thought the people who loved it knew more and I gambled and I lost.

Anyway.

I stared and stared and staredandstared at a new rug to take it's place. Don't you think this one looks cool?

I thought it was totally cool in a retro, grunge-y vintage-y way if there's even such a thing. Like it belongs in the Addams family mansion. 'N I loved it. Can't really say it looks that way in real life. Sigh.

The Jeffro insisted we needed a smaller rug. Not so, said I. "They" said that it's a decorating faux pas to have too small a rug, I said. Read it on Pinterest, I said.

Jeffro ( in a "someone is a moron" tone, deadpan): "Who is 'they'? That's a dumb rule. It gets in the way and people trip over it. I want a smaller one."

In your face, rug Nazis. In.your.face. Why don't you tell on me.

I guess the rug's staying even though I'm not sure it gives off that grunge vintage look I wanted. Even though I'm picking apart my family room, I like it and I'm confirming it as done. I swear I like it. We're just, ya know, conversing! Man, I'm sending mixed messages.

Humor me and look around the room with me, won't you? You're a doll.

In March we had:

And now, we have:

New paint. New crown moulding. New huge fireplace moulding. New huge fan. New tile. New stairs. Freshly stained dark walnut banisters and handrails that TOTALLY DESERVE their own post because they were such a pain in my buns but it's too boring for me to talk about,

Couple pillows, coffee table, foot rest that is far too trendy even for me but I still like it, improperly sized rug, fabulously long curtains,

drug in a chair from another part of the house to give it more of a "room" feel, and it really is like, a room.

It's cozier. More comfy. I like it. Everyone seems to like it better. It also feels a little more chaotic. Just to be real. But I'm okay with it.

And just as a sidenote,

on a whim I threw this huge corbel up here to start the room off. It's holding up nothing. Maybe that's strange. I don't care. I love it.