A title escapes me...

but those ever favored ellipses do not! (Really, I don't what it is about those little dots, but I just love 'em!)

I am dead on my feet tonight and I just remembered I owe the NaBloPoMo gods a post sacrifice. I guess the title could have been Mary vs. the Volcano! I do feel like I have a brain cloud.

As tired as I am, I am feeling well tonight. The tiredness is from a few days of messed up sleep. I took a nap at 10 am yesterday. 10 am!! I slept for 2 1/2 hours, so it is little wonder that I did not go to sleep until after 1 am. I kept myself busy tonight and refused to take a nap. Maybe I'll get to sleep before midnight. Woo Hoo!!

There is good news to report on the Mrs. Gloop front. Marley worked on her lines this morning before I woke up and then we worked on them together before she left for school. She was excited to get to school because it was her day, along with the other third graders, to work with the director. I was optimistic that she had processed most of her disappointment (at least until it was time for the padded costume.)

I had decided to talk with the teachers to give them a heads up about what had happened last night and to ask them to keep an eye on her for me. I went to pick her up early, hoping to find my chance to talk to one or both of her teachers. The kids were still in the multi-purpose room working with Mrs. S., the director. Mrs. J., one of her teachers, saw me and approached me. She told me, without my even saying anything yet, that Marley was doing a great job so far. She and her little (not so) Augustus had made all the kids and teachers laugh with their performance. Mrs. J. said she thought that Marley and her fictional son were going to be the funniest part of the play.

Granted, it is just the first day of rehearsal, but I am so happy to hear that Marley was really going for it today. During lunch, which the third grade girls eat with the teachers every Friday, the other girls and the teachers all complimented her on her performance. Mrs. J. said that you could see Marley pick herself up and hold her body differently. (Doesn't that make you want to cry happy tears?)

I still explained to Mrs. J. the drama of the night before, and she will watch Marley to make sure she isn't having a hard time. My hope, though, is that the positive reinforcement and success she experiences will get us through. Mrs. J. also said that she will talk to the director about the degree of padding Mrs. Gloop requires. Marley is smaller than her "son" and Mrs. J. is thinking the contrast of a taller and chubbier Augustus and a shorter, thinner Mrs. Gloop might actually be funnier. I want to balance being sympathetic to Marley with helping her see that some things just have to be done a certain way, so if she has to wear the padded suit, so be it. Right after I finished talking to Mrs. J., my friend Rebecca leaned over to tell me that Marley was doing such a great job, she was so funny, etc. Yeah! More positive feedback!

After school as Marley and I were walking to the car, I talked to her a little about how she felt and explained that I had received a glowing report from Mrs. J. She played it very casual but then told me, "Mrs. S. said I was funny, too." You have to know Mrs. S. and how the children view her to know that this was a big deal. I was also able to give Marley some good, albeit tempered, good news. Mrs. J. is pretty certain that Marley will wear a mic for the show!

I could tell that I needed to start pulling back and stop talking about it. She was going to get self-conscious about it, but what a turnaround! We may still have some bumpy moments--she isn't all that happy about one scene where she has to squish her son's cheeks--but I am very optimistic and relieved... and grateful for my friends (bloggy and otherwise) who listen to me, Marley's teachers and classmates who encouraged her, Paul who was as much at a loss as I was but supported my instinctive, flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants parenting.

Mostly I am proud of Marley, first, for being honest about how she felt.  I never really explained that for all the drama, she did a pretty good job of using her 'I' statements.  I feel sad, It hurts my feelings, etc.  She pulled herself together and had such a positive attitude.  I can't wait to see her performance in a few weeks.

14 down, 16 to do 

Tales of a Third Grade Extra

Marley has been cast as Mrs. Gloop, the mother of Augustus Gloop, in her class production of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. She had her heart set on the role of Veruca Salt but seemed to accept yesterday her given role.

That was yesterday. Today, after the play meeting, she dissolved into hysterical tears. She doesn't want to wear a padded costume (the Gloops are a hefty family), she doesn't want to take German language classes (I tried to explain she just had to say her lines with an accent), she was upset that she NEVER gets an important part, and the ultimate insult? She doesn't think she is going to be one of the children chosen to wear a mic.  (She might get mic'd but without knowing for sure I wasn't going to get her hopes up.)

Seriously. What's a mom to do? The third graders get the "bigger" parts. The kinders are going to be candy, the first graders and a few second graders are the Oompa Loompas and all the other roles are divided among the rest of the second and third graders. Marley is not the best actress or singer of the bunch. She got an appropriate role. She got a role with more lines than the previous year. But she is devastated.

This is no my strong suit as a parent. On one hand, I understand why she is upset. Getting to wear the mics is something all the children covet. She's not stupid; she knows that Mrs. Gloop is not a key role. She wants to be a star. On the other hand, every person can't be the star. There are other kids who are more talented--or at least louder. She is a part of a community and this is not the first time she is going to be disappointed with her part, whether it be on stage or in life. Do I tough love it or just lend a sympathetic ear.  Do I do some combination of both?

I probably spent 10 minutes just watching her cry and feeling a combination of helpless and frustrated. Finally, I pulled out the big guns: bribery. I know, I know, it is the evil parenting technique designed to spoil your children and give them a sense of entitlement that will hinder their every relationship.

BUT (watch me defend myself here)...

This is not a common practice of ours.
This is not an everyday experience of hers.
I didn't know what else to do.

I told her that I understood why she was upset, but that the director gives out the roles and there is nothing we can do about it. I said we could talk to her teachers so they at least knew she was sad; however, her teachers would not change her role. I told her that if she cooperated with her part, practiced saying her part in a German accent, cooperated with the padded costume, and exhibited a good attitude, we would buy her a new Nintendo DS game.

She sobbed and sniffed a little more, but it wasn't too long before she started quizzing me. Could it be a new game and not a used game? Could it be any game she wanted? Could we go get it today after we ran her lines?

Great. Another dilemma. Another parental cave in. After telling her that the point of a reward is to get it at the end so that her cooperation was insured, I decided that I couldn't take looking at her tear-streaked face. I am such a sucker. (Paul will agree with me.) We compromised and she knows that if, at any point, she doesn't cooperate, she will have the game taken away. (And I know I will follow through with that--no problem.)

As I type this, she is sitting on the living room floor trying to figure out how to buy another puppy on Nintendogs: Lab and Friends. In a few minutes, we'll run through her lines again. She needs to practice saying "I vant" instead of "I want." Wish us luck!

13 down, 17 to go

I have a Gumbie mouse in mind...

The curtain has fallen on the last performance of Mr. Eliot's Cats. Before it was all said and done, there was much fun and stress, joy and desperation, shouts of exultation and many tears. There is too much to do in the next two days to recount the whole story but here's a few pictures of my darling mouse and some of her castmates. (If you click on the group pictures, you can get a better look at all the wonderful costumes.)







Because Paul and I were so busy with the play, we did not take ONE pictures ourselves of our daughter! These are pictures someone else took. I hope to get more from other moms in the next few weeks.

Sleeping with Bread Monday with Irony and Less Than Full Disclosure

In the last week, where have I found consolation?

I think this past week, I have found consolation, ironically, in the hustle and bustle of preparing for my daughter's class play. Yes, the play which has me frazzled with costumes and sound worries and fearful of The Stomach Virus of 2006 is also a source of encouragement to me. Rather, the kids and the parents in the class are the source of encouragement.

I believe I have mentioned here before that my daughter is in a Multi-Age program at her school. It is a double class with two teachers and kids in Kindergarten through Third Grade. The curriculum is integrated and the approach developmentally-based. Because brothers and sisters are in class together and because the children are together for several years, a close bond develops within the group as a whole. During this time of The Production, even more time is spent together and I've had a chance to see the Spirit of Community in action. Parents help each other out with costumes or kid care. Children help each other with their lines. The older kids look out for the younger kids. It is a family of sorts and in spite of the recent chaos, I've enjoyed watching some of these sweet kids this week and seeing what great little people they are and I'm grateful that we will have more time--years--to keep getting to know them.

In the last week, what has caused me desolation?

Other than the fact that Boromir died... (The Lord of the Rings trilogy was on Sunday. My heart breaks for Boromir and it just kills me every time I see that movie and watch him die. Have I ever mentioned I'm a LOTR freak?)

Well, other than the LOTR tragedy, what caused me sadness this week is private and I can't share about it here. This is one of the difficulties of blogging for me. I can't bare all. If it were just me and you guys alone in a room, I could share. It isn't anything earth shattering--just the stuff of Life. It will pass. I would rather say there is something going on with me and leave it at that than make up something or pretend.

Also Sleeping with Bread this week:

Sheila at musings of a mommy
t at nonsensical text
Lamont at Uphill idealist

Next week will be a Sleeping with Bread holiday because it will be Christmas Day. Seven days until Christmas... can you believe it?



I did it! Have you?