Salvation.

thespiritualcoach.com 

I was running into you, and all I could think of was salvation. 

The void was starting to gain control, but I was adamant to reach you. I think your solace alone could prove that there is meaning even in nothingness. That to be consumed by darkness without anyone in my arms is not only a frightful scene. I might also lose my entire self completely. For that, I am not prepared.

I cannot recall how many times I tried to sweep off the massive amount of sweat on my face. I am tired, but I can’t stop now. I have to at least reach you, hold your hand, and be with you. But even in my own nightmares, I could feel fear. I sense that weariness is slowly eating myself up, slowly engulfing my very core. I am afraid, but I have to find the courage to continue.

Freedom.

Freedom is not tantamount to an unbridled enjoyment of everything. It is boundless, but within your own bounds.

Lovely art from http://accusedofbeinginnocent.blogspot.com

The beauty in freedom is that you can or you cannot. You may choose to live life. You may choose to end it. You may choose a career. You may not choose a career and end up being a bum. You may choose to be a beggar, drunk, thief, or a liar. You may choose to be the fed-up activist who continuously demands for change. You may choose to be a corrupt government official who corrupts absolutely.

You are free because you choose to be free. Freedom to live dangerously is as tempting as the freedom to live blandly. One can choose, in the words of Mark Renton, rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself.

You choose.

Spoiled.

We are a spoiled generation. We are influenced to believe that being alive translates to unrestrained freedom and incessant pleasure. Unlike previous generations who had to endure devastating wars, chaos, and hunger, we had been born into an already cautious world. In hindsight, it makes us complacent.

We are part of an era that thrives in boredom. Thus, we create our form of medium that will satiate our needs. We film our lives, and call it reality television. Boredom is the root of all evil, if we ought to believe Soren Aabye Kierkegaard. In utter boredom, we think of ways to shock our senses because, quite frankly, only a few things can send shiver to our spine.

Money, Materialism, and Greed. Cartoon by Stiners/The Unheard.

We want the good stuff, but not the attendant responsibilities. There’s always a pull on the easy cash, easy lay, and easy everything. We glorify thieves as long as they wear Louboutins and Guccis. We don’t care if someone is corrupt as long as we can party with them in Ibiza, or Boracay, if you prefer something local. We have had the wrong kind of dreams, and it’s eating us from the inside.

And the worst part is, the younger ones think that it’s the epitome of cool and satisfaction. We have been accustomed into a world that dictates what is viable and acceptable that majority of the people no longer go against the flow. Only a few muster enough courage to summon a sense of responsibility and awareness.

We are a spoiled generation, and at times, it operates to our disadvantage. 

Imagine.

If there is one thing that I learned from my comic book fascination is that we all wish to be a superhero, but not everyone can handle it. Spiderman aptly puts it, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

Who would not want strength or invulnerability? Or the ability to read minds so that there will be no secrets kept. We all wish we could control the weather, or be intangible or invisible. We have that secret desire to be granted powers. Because deep down, in the recesses of our mind, we think that it’s extraordinarily brilliant to have superpowers.

Imagine courtesy of Marvel.com

But we often forget that obtaining a superpower is not limited to the X-genes, the radioactive spiders, or the cosmic rays. Somehow, we only need to look inside and realize that we have great powers in our midst. It’s all too often that we forget about them and find the need to draw unnecessary powers from the world. Quite contrary, those who are given extraordinary powers have had the toughest time in dealing with them.

Yet powers alone cannot change the world. Those who have in abundance are either too scared to use them or too straightforward in abusing them for personal gains. The rest ends up cleaning the acts of either party.

All is not lost.

Remember the kid who talks about brightly colored worlds, who paints a dozen rainbows, who weaves words as if they are magically entrenched in his fingers and lips. Inside each one of us is a kid who constantly believes on his ability to change the world. And it’s perfectly sane to tap into his potential once more.

Sometimes, all we need is a little imagination and a lot of courage. 

Dust.

In a world that fades, they say that memory is all that we have. But we all know that memory is not a reliable thing.

There are some memories that constantly put us at a crossroad, not knowing if we should step back or move forward. The thing with unfinished businesses is that it leaves us hanging, on the verge of the cliff, and not realizing if jumping off would be a good thing or not, or staying put will save us from all our troubles.

But the thing with life is, it will go and it will not wait for you and me, including our hang-ups. No matter how swollen one thinks his ego is, or how bruised his feelings are, the world will still continue to move. And in that movement, one might be left behind with nothing but the dust of jaded memories.

I think I do have the strength to let go. It’s the act of finally deciding that scares me.