Higpit.

Tangan ang isa’t kalahating dakot 
ng ligaya

na nakadampi sa aking mga palad

tila nagdadalamhati sa buklod

ng aking magaslaw na samyo.

Finding the Filipino.*

Picture taken from www.pinoyfactsandtrivia.wordpress.com

There in the midst of the humdrum of our everyday existence lies honest and good folks who still matter. They are a rare breed, almost dying, but they provide the ember to an otherwise fading light.

We hear stories of a nameless taxi driver who returns a bag full of cash, or the volunteer firemen who neither gain fame nor money in saving lives, or the social worker who dabbles into threats and rejection just to cut crucial information across social boundaries.  

We have heroes amongst us who stand up when we need them to. We are never short of the common tao with the makings of a hero. But why can’t they dream as heroes dream?

We picture our heroes as those who are larger than life. Then again, there are Filipinos who ensure that we shall never lack heroes. There are those Filipinos who stand up in unyielding moments just because we need someone to look up to.

They are out there. But the media shoves them away from the spotlight, and makes us addicted instead to the wrong kind of aspirations. In the process, we take the shortest cut, even if it will lead us nowhere.

What then should we do to find pride in our heritage? Rizal waited a hundred years to have his legacy of a movie. Are we to force the heroes of our past and present to waste away in historical limbo as well? 

We need our media to focus more on our real heroes. We need to encourage the great Pinoys of our time to raise the bar and once more prove our lineage right. We need to point the spotlight once again, from the false heroes of today to the ones truly deserving of the honor and glory.

*This post should have been made on the celebration of Independence Day.

Blink.

Dreams reach to us in clouds of ember, in waves from purple ocean, in a golden aloof moon, or in a perpetual loop of ecstasy.

In every heart we find a shadow of fear that exhorts us to disown ourselves of our freedom. We realize that the shadow is not entirely us, but that of a separate entity. We can attempt to extinguish this entity in order for us to go on and dream our dreams or to free ourselves from fear and longing.

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But not all dreams are fluffy. We also dream of dragons and swords and battles. It can be daunting, but these dreams do teach us that we can find the courage to fight the battles. That alone makes the battle half won.

Collide.

The world has a way of running our true needs through the mud, never once giving heed to the possible damage wrought or even to the pain inflicted.

We act as though we are invincible, running into the world thinking that we are demi-gods incapable of sting or anguish. But, we are only as tough as the bullets we have in our arsenal. Once depleted, we go back into the holes that we have created. It takes a great amount of temerity to stand up and face the bullets that come our way. Not all is capable of dodging bullets or of fighting head-on, and many choose to cower in fear or doubt.

There are those, however, who stand-up and face the bullets just to remind them of pain. It always helps to feel a little pain to remind them of what they are are made of. Not everyone can tolerate this, because not everyone can be reborn like the phoenix.

We move in a world where we are almost always blindsided by many things, both tangible and intangible. That is why we have been accustomed into bringing our bullets or creating our walls. But when all else is gone or when all else has vanished, where will we be?   

Half.

You can’t simply hide from the things you want the most.

Half. http://roma.theoffside.com/

Ironic as it seems, no matter how you intend to veer away from certain things, they still find you. Denial even has a strange way of reminding you of things lost, forgotten, or ignored. There is nowhere you can run into from those that you so desperately crave. It’s an elementary principle, as elementary as desire or longing, or life and death.

The things lost have a way of returning, and the things neglected can seep into your consciousness. Callous memories of nostalgia will be the end of all things trivial. But it can also be the start of good tidings.

It just depends on how you look at the proverbial glass.

Farewell.

Some goodbyes hurt more than others because you know that they are bound to happen, but you can’t do anything to prevent them. Marred by situations beyond one’s control, goodbyes become all the more difficult and painful.

There is always a feeling of sadness in goodbyes, simply because not all people are ready to let go. In a world where emotional investment is not easy, not everyone has the proclivity to walk away or let someone walk away. Some of us pretend that it is better to be stuck and find a possible solution (no matter how absurd it appears) rather than move and be lost in the process.

The thing is, nobody has a monopoly over feelings and emotions. In an avenue of friendship or love, it is always a two way alley, which requires at the very least, the acquiescence of the other. We can’t dictate what we want, or how we feel. We can’t always allow ourselves to believe in the delusion that things will work out because they did in the past. But things change, and so do people. The universal declaration of adoration or worship an hour ago might just be a fledging emotion of some sort, which will be gone a minute after a blinding white light.

Life is a perpetual crossroad. There’s always the uncertainty if you ought to move forward or step back. Ironic as it seems, the consequences of a decision or the gravity of an omission will always leave you blindsided, no matter how prepared you think you are. The good thing though is the choice. No matter how difficult life gets, you still get to choose when to walk away, or who to let go and ultimately decide what matters most.