At this time of new year, our house turns into a house of gathering statistics, monitoring and tracking actions, and refining goals. Now some of you may nod your head in agreement, like this is normal and I assure you that at our house, it is far from normal thanks to my over-zealous, goal-seeking, tracking information-loving husband. But it's not a bad thing. Exhausting, at times, but not bad. He tends to inspire us to be better.
And so this week began our trek to a better life. Get up and exercise at 6:45. Get the kids all up at 7:30 and read scriptures--giving them time to get ready for school and practice piano too. And, my biggest mountain, be positive in the process. Daily activities commence including 3-5 veggies a day and a productive nap. Meal planning and trip planning to cut down on food and gas expenses. Everyone helps with dinner dishes and make lunches for the next day. Getting ready for bed and reading by 8:00 pm...And meanwhile keep on top of laundry, dishes, and other household duties.
And I've done okay, even considering my three youngest crying day in and day out. Today, though, I just about lost it. It was more than I had in me to get the older girls homework checked, breakfast fed, piano practiced, while Aiddie continually yelled "Want You!" and Nikell moaned in a heap over a trace of gluten she consumed last night. By the time the two older girls left I was in the red (overheating, exploding...you know, all the things RED signifies). So I tucked the younger two in a blanket on the couch with Curious George, laid Ky-Ky in the floor and retreated to a far corner of the house for some reflection and inspiration.
And I began to put myself back together while pondering on a lesson that has been repeatedly trying to make it's way into my thick skull. It started with Jason teaching the boys at church and his focus ended up being something about Becoming what you want to be by deciding what that is and setting goals right know. For instance, if you want to be an Engineer then you need to plan on going to college. And if you're going to go to college then you need to plan on decent grades, or better and that means doing homework right now. So by deciding to be an Engineer, you plan on doing homework every night in high school.
Then I read a theory online that put forth that you already are what you are trying to become. Meaning, I think, that if you are already reading your scriptures and having FHE in hopes of becoming a good mother or father, then you already are. That by taking the steps to become something, you essentially become that thing.
Then I heard a short talk about pioneers. About how despite their horrific trials and hardships, the majority of their time was probably just normal everyday life. Life spent loading up wagons, checking supplies, and walking at a slow oxen-driven pace until night hit and they unhitched, watered, supped, prepared for bed and slept. Only to begin again the next day. This talk highlighted the fact that their pace was slow. That even though it would have been nice to hurry-up and get it done, they could not. They had to endure and walk and walk and walk until their journey was through. And so it is with out lives. It would be nice to hurry up and become "Celestial" but that's not how it works. Our duty is to walk and walk and walk and walk until our journey is through.
And so, be it long-winded, I begin another day of walking. Another day of being positive. Another day of deciding that I will be a celestial mother. Another day of scriptures. Another day of praising my children. Another day of laundry. Another day of rejoicing in my baby's slobbery kisses. Another day of holding my "want you" child...And in doing so I am what I already want to be. I am walking and walking because I have decided what I want to do with my life and it is now and here. For by small and simple things are great things brought to pass (or something like that :)).
