Found Object: Trade Secret

Editor's note: Found Object is a new recurring feature that's part writing exercise, part old guy reflections. Each entry is about a different piece of detritus that I've collected at some point in my life.

Back in August 1988, the world was a much different place. I was 20, doing an internship with the Peabody Times after my junior year at UNH. Back in the late '80s, a career as a newspaper reporter was still something that made sense. You weren't going to make a lot of money, but it was a respectable profession and one that didn't seem to have an expiration date. 

Back then, newspaper internships were pivotal things. Not only did they give a prospective employer a glimpse at your skillset, they also give you an idea of whether you want to get into the business. It was one thing to write for the college newspaper, but another thing entirely to prove your worth for a daily paper. There were plenty of folks who had moved on to careers in journalism, but there were also those who couldn't handle the pressure of daily deadlines.

When I showed up in Peabody in June of '88, I found out that it wasn't going to be much of a challenge. My predecessor couldn't hack it and nearly quit after a month; he stuck around, but it was clear that he wasn't carrying a lot of weight. By the time I showed up, the editor of the Peabody paper was so desperate to not have the intern quit that she basically told me I could do whatever I wanted. I could've spent the entire three months doodling on a piece of paper and it wouldn't have mattered. But I wanted to make this my profession, so I wasn't about to waste it. I wanted to dive in. At first, there was a lot of puff pieces, mainly because there were three other reporters in the office to take the weightier stories. However, one of the reporters left in early August, which meant I was able to take on some more of the burden. More than anything, it proved that I was able to do the job.

So there I was on August 9, working on a story in the Beverly office of Essex County Newspapers, when I read on the AP sports wire that a big trade had gone through late in the day. This was a time before sports talk radio and Twitter and constant sports coverage, so I had no idea that the greatest hockey player of all time would be dealt at the peak of his powers. Indeed, Wayne Gretzky, who was coming off his fourth Stanley Cup win in five years with the Edmonton Oilers, was traded to the Los Angeles Kings. It was one of the biggest trades in sports history, especially given the fact that Gretzky was literally the best player in the sport and coming off a dominant stretch with Edmonton. Reading that he was getting traded was shocking, to say the least. There had been big trades before: Bobby Orr, Phil Esposito and many other stars had been traded, but none had been as key at the time of their trade as Gretzky was.

The trade of Gretzky to the Kings was a big deal for the NHL in terms of establishing itself in warm weather areas. The Kings had been in LA since 1967, and had had stars like Marcel Dionne, Luc Robitaille, Rogie Vachon and Dave Taylor, but Gretzky brought a whole new level of star power to the team. He attracted a whole new level of attention to the Kings, bringing in Hollywood celebrities and showcasing the game to a new audience. Even though the Great One was unable to bring a Cup to LA (although he did take them to the 1993 Cup final vs. Montreal), he generated so much interest in the game south of the border that it inspired a whole generation of American players.

The Kings eventually won Cups in 2012 and 2014, and while Gretzky was long gone at that point (he was traded to St. Louis in 1996 and retired in 1999), there's no denying the impact he had on hockey in California and the U.S. It would have been interesting to see what he could have done with Edmonton had he stayed (they won another Cup in 1990), but he clearly paved the way for U.S. hockey to reach many more kids.

I can still remember driving home from Beverly to Kingston, N.H., on August 9, 1988, shocked to the core that one of the greatest hockey players in history had been traded. A few weeks later, I headed back to Durham, N.H., for my senior year at UNH. A year later, I was back in Peabody, having been hired at the Times as a reporter. I was on to my career in journalism. How was I to know that things would change so radically for the entire newspaper industry? But in 1988, I was on the right track.

Found Object: To the Letter

Editor's note: Found Object is a new recurring feature that's part writing exercise, part old guy reflections. Each entry is about a different piece of detritus that I've collected at some point in my life.

Sports has always been a big part of my life, even though I've never been what you'd call a gifted athlete. My parents were from a culture that didn't place a big emphasis on sports, although my father played cricket and other sports while he was in school in India. Once he graduated, the most physical activity he would get was when he was in a bowling league in his 20s and 30s. He would play catch with me when I was getting into baseball around age 10-12, but he'd be sitting on our front steps at the time. But he was a big sports fan, and as a result, I spent many hours with him watching the Leafs, Blue Jays and various golf and tennis tournaments (as well as tons of other TV programming...he watched a LOT of TV).

I wasn't blessed with athletic skill, but I loved to play. Most of my spare time was spent playing hockey in our driveway; at first, by myself but later with my little brother and buddies from the neighborhood. I took a learn-to-skate class and then did "hockey school" at the local arena in Pickering, Ontario. But my organized hockey dreams died there because my parents refused to let me play in the town league like all my other friends; they told me it was because they didn't want me to get hurt, but I knew it was because they didn't want to schlep me to practices at godawful hours of the day and night. I put on this big presentation where I noted that I could get rides from my friends' parents and it wouldn't be a hassle, but my parents were steadfast. I was enraged; still annoyed by it, but I understand it. I continued to play street hockey all the time, but even that went by the wayside when we moved when I was in 9th grade.

But a sport my parents could get behind was soccer. I played indoor soccer starting in 5th grade and then started playing outdoor in the town league the next few years. My dad's union even sponsored my team one session, although we had to have a ridiculous name like "Ontario Hydro Draftsman's Union Local 515." At the time, I was a little pipsqueak with plenty of energy to burn but no shot to speak of. They put me on defense, where I wasn't awful because most of the other kids were twerps like me. I remember we'd be lining up in practice to take shots and I could barely get it to the net. Just had no strength. Again, the soccer stopped my freshman year after we moved to Washington state because my new high school didn't have a soccer program at the time.

But when we moved to New Hampshire for my junior year, I signed up to play soccer. It was good because going to summer workouts meant I got to meet some of my classmates before school actually started. This was helpful because I didn't know a damn soul at the time; we lived on the way out of town on a highway, so it wasn't exactly a neighborhood. There were no cuts because the school was so small. I hadn't played organized (or really, any) soccer in a few years, so the coach put me on the JV squad my first year. Thankfully, they moved me up to offense. I played sporadically because I wasn't that great and was still a scrawny runt. I ended up with a single goal that year. The best thing that came of it was fitness; we ran a lot in practice so I was in great shape during the season. Of course, I didn't play any other sports (there was no hockey team and I hated running, so cross country was out of the question), but I didn't need to exercise to stay skinny back then. I just was.

Senior year, I made the varsity team, probably because it would have been embarrassing to be on JV as a senior. I didn't play a whole lot; there was one game where I didn't play at all. I was pissed off about it, but I get it. At the banquet, I got my varsity letter and jacket.

You were supposed to get the letter sewn on the jacket, but I never did. Not sure why. I wore the jacket occasionally, even a few times my freshman year of college. It was a classic mid-'80s corduroy deal with my name on the sleeve and "SANBORN" (the name of my school) in huge letters on the back. I still have the jacket, but the letter was buried in a box of junk in my basement until this morning.

Once I got to UNH, I played sports sporadically. Intramural soccer, softball,floor hockey. A bunch of guys from the hockey team lived in my dorm so I would play in these marathon street hockey games with them. Even though it had been several years since I had played regularly, it didn't take long to get my timing back and I held my own in those games. On ice, my skating ability couldn't compare to D1 players, but running around on a tennis court, I did okay. Sophomore year, I bought a new set of hockey equipment and started playing intramurals and going to stick practice at Snively Arena on Fridays.

After graduation, I discovered the joys of working out, mainly out of necessity because my metabolism slowed down a bit around junior year and I started to add beer and junk food weight. I ran a little bit on the beach in Magnolia and then joined the Y, where I started to work out daily. I also started to join various leagues: mainly softball and indoor soccer at first. I started playing tennis and golf and eventually around '97, joined a pickup hockey league. I was doing something almost every day of the week at that point. After we had kids, I got into running and started dropping a bunch of stuff to spend more time around the family. Soon much of my spare time was spent taking the girls to their various practices and games, and eventually coaching them as well. The only sport I still play is hockey; I'm skating twice a week and having a blast. I'm still not a great athlete, but I'm effective. Still no plans to sew on that damn letter, though.

Completely Conspicuous 438: Roll the Bones

Part 3 of my conversation with guest Phil Stacey as we discuss fantasy sports. Listen to the episode below or download directly.
 

Show notes:
- No interest in daily fantasy sports
- Big ad blitz when daily fantasy leagues hit the scene
- The kids love the gambling
- Sports gambling is much easier now
- Vegas now has an NHL franchise
- The Super Bowl is more spectacle than game
- "I call him Gamblor"
- Senior citizens take buses to casinos
- Playing in multiple leagues is no guarantee of winning money
- When the commissioner is dishonest
- Like pickup sports, you want to have fun with friends in fantasy leagues
- The single worst pick in fantasy hockey history
- Let's hear it for Lichtenstein

Completely Conspicuous is available through the iTunes podcast directory. Subscribe and write a review!

The opening and closing theme of Completely Conspicuous is "Theme to Big F'in Pants" by Jay Breitling. Find out more about Senor Breitling at his fine music blog Clicky Clicky. Voiceover work is courtesy of James Gralian.

Completely Conspicuous 437: The More You Know

Part 2 of my conversation with guest Phil Stacey as we discuss fantasy sports. Listen to the episode below or download directly.
 

Show notes:
- Jay: Renewed interest in baseball in the past year
- Watching sports without cable TV can be tricky
- Head-to-head format can be tough
- Paying attention to statistical details
- When fantasy leagues go bad
- Our fantasy hockey league fell apart because of money
- The problem with having people you don't know in the league
- We had our draft, started the season and then shut it down
- Hockey can be tough because it's harder to find people who really know the game
- Jay: Work football league got rid of kickers
- So many sources of draft information
- To be continued

Completely Conspicuous is available through the iTunes podcast directory. Subscribe and write a review!

The opening and closing theme of Completely Conspicuous is "Theme to Big F'in Pants" by Jay Breitling. Find out more about Senor Breitling at his fine music blog Clicky Clicky. Voiceover work is courtesy of James Gralian.

Fight the Good Fight

Editor's note: This originally ran as this week's Cold As Ice column on Popblerd.

We’re barely a week into the 2013-14 NHL season and already a coach has been fired (the 0-3 Flyers canned Peter Laviolette), a player has been stuck in a Dallas bathroom and the debate over the role of fighting in hockey has once again been renewed.

It didn’t take long for the season’s first shockingly violent moment to occur. Just 2:34 into the third period of last Tuesday’s Leafs-Canadiens game, enforcers Colton Orr and George Parros squared off for the second time that night. But as Toronto’s Orr slipped awkwardly, he pulled Parros down with him and the mustachioed tough guy hit the ice face first, knocking himself unconscious. Orr immediately signaled for the Montreal trainer to get out on the ice as Parros lay motionless. The Montreal crowd went from festive to silent as a bloodied Parros was treated and eventually taken off the ice on a stretcher. Ironically, a similar incident occurred two years ago in a fight between Orr and Parros, with Orr hitting the ice and suffering a season-ending concussion.  

The Parros injury was the catalyst for much discussion about whether fighting truly belonged in the game anymore. The NHL is the only major sport that condones fighting; yes, players are penalized but they’re also allowed to square off without interference until there’s a victor or the fight itself runs out of steam. The league has been trying to address the issue of concussions in the game in recent years by mandating stricter penalties for hits to the head, but obviously, a clear source of head injuries is still plentiful: the punches directed at an opponent’s skull in a fight. 

After the Parros incident (he was released from the hospital the next day, but is unlikely to play again anytime soon), general managers including Steve Yzerman of Tampa, Jim Rutherford of Carolina and Ray Shero of Pittsburgh (whose father Fred coached the Broad Street Bullies back in the day) all called for stricter penalties for fighting. Yzerman said players who fight should be ejected from games instead of simply given five-minute penalties. League officials, however, say no changes are planned at this time.

Defenders of fighting note that having a tough guy on a team provides protection to the more skilled players and often can provide a spark when a team is down. There’s no denying the fans in an arena get fired up when there’s a scrap on the ice. And of course, the NHL Players Association doesn’t want to see so-called enforcers lose their jobs if there’s a ban on fighting.

Certainly, these points have been brought up for decades now. As a kid in suburban Toronto in the 1970s, I remember the Philadelphia Flyers’ reign of terror as the Broad Street Bullies, pummeling their way to back-to-back Stanley Cups. The Flyers and Leafs met in the playoffs three straight years from ’75 to ’77, with bench-clearing brawls and strewn equipment as much a part of the play as goals and assists. I’m old school. I enjoy a good fight as much as the next guy. A fight that breaks out in the heat of a game is exciting. I love movies like “Slap Shot” and “Goon.” 

But I’m losing my patience with the dopey staged fights between goons like Orr and Parros who clearly are on the ice for one reason and one reason only. In the ‘70s and ‘80s, noted fighters like Dave “The Hammer” Schultz, Dave “Tiger” Williams and John Wensink all scored 20 or more goals at least once in their careers; they weren't limited to 3 or 4 minutes of ice time per night, basically wasting a roster spot for the occasional throwdown.

I don’t want to see the game robbed of its toughness and personality and turned into a figure skating competition with sticks. Hitting and, yes, the occasional fight, are as much a part of hockey as speed and skill. (And yes, I enjoy watching Olympic and college hockey, where fighting is not allowed.) 

But I want to see a return to the days when teams didn’t have to bring out some big stiff like Buffalo’s John Scott or Orr or Parros who brings nothing to the game. Teams like Detroit have been pretty successful for years without a designated enforcer in their lineup. Even teams who play enforcers rarely put them on the ice in important situations late in games or in the playoffs. What does that tell you?

If you’re going to have fighters in the league, let them be big players with skill like Milan Lucic of the Bruins or Evander Kane of the Jets; players who can fight if need be, but are more valuable contributing to their team’s offensive success. Of course, getting the skill level up and the goon quotient down isn’t going to be done via league rule changes. It’s going to take a change in mindset from certain GMs who currently choose to stock their teams with fighters. My favorite team, Toronto, is a prime example. GM Dave Nonis put the team in a serious salary cap crunch by insisting on signing two enforcers (Orr and Frazer McLaren) to two-year deals, which then compromised the Leafs’ ability to sign its talented young players whose contracts were up. Somehow, he managed to do it for this season, but the next offseason will be a difficult one for the Leafs.

Critics argue that the NHL will never have mass popularity while fighting is still allowed in the game. I honestly don’t care about that. Hockey’s ultimately a regional sport; you’re never going to get huge acceptance of it in warm weather areas where people never see ice and I’m okay with that. It’s not about that. The NHL should be the best hockey league in the world with the best players in the world. Goons don’t belong there; let them play in the low minors. Let’s keep the skilled players in the NHL and improve the game for everyone.

Downed

I'm not ashamed to say I take sports seriously. Yeah, I know they're just games and in the grand scheme of things, they don't mean a whole hell of a lot. But they provide me with entertainment and that's good enough for me. I don't paint my face in my favorite teams' colors and I don't even go to a lot of games in person anymore. But I watch my teams play religiously, especially the Toronto Maple Leafs. Sadly, as I've documented on numerous occasions here, the Leafs have disappointed me much more often than not throughout my life.

But this season, after a nine-year absence, the Leafs made the playoffs and had the seeming misfortune to play the Boston Bruins in the first round, a team that has dominated them over the last three seasons. I didn't have high hopes going into the series, guessing that Boston would win in 5, but I hoped the young Leafs would get some valuable experience in the process. Game 1 bore out that original line of thinking as Boston just dominated Toronto, with a 4-1 win that felt more like 10-1. It looked like it was going to be a quick series. But the Leafs, as they've done all season, proved resilient and trounced the B's in game 2 by a 4-2 score. Rather than sit back and get outshot and outplayed like they had done in much of the previous three weeks, the Leafs started using their speed and size to attack the Bruins. Unfortunately, they were still making defensive mistakes and lost game 3 by a 5-2 score. In game 4, the Leafs dominated the third period and OT but lost when captain Dion Phaneuf went for a risky hit in the offensive end and was caught up ice while the Bruins scored on a 2-on-1. Things didn't look good and Boston fans were already starting to look ahead to the next round.

Instead of roll over, the Leafs came back strong and won two straight 2-1 games, with goalie James Reimer playing like he did for most of the season. The series came back to Boston last night for game 7 and I tried not to get my hopes up. It was a nerve-wracking affair, but the Leafs played a smart game and took a 2-1 lead into the third period. Two minutes in, Phil Kessel--who had spent the last few years being tormented by Bruins fans after being traded to the Leafs for draft picks that turned into Tyler Seguin and Dougie Hamilton--banged home his fourth goal of the series to make the score 3-1. And a few minutes later, Kessel took a shot that was kicked right to Nazem Kadri, who fired it home to give Toronto a seemingly insurmountable 4-1 lead. The air went out of the TD Garden and the Bruins looked listless. But there were still nearly 15 minutes left. I wasn't getting excited yet. Then Nathan Horton scored at 9:18 to make it 4-2. The Bruins started attacking more, but the Leafs were able to fight them off until there were only 2 and a half minutes left to go. The Bruins pulled their goalie and there was a scramble in front and Milan Lucic fired in a wrister to make it 4-3. With the net still empty, the Leafs were unable to clear the puck and with monstrous Zdeno Chara acting as a screen, Patrice Bergeron scored to tie the game with 51 seconds left. Unfuckingbelievable. This was a comeback of historic proportions. The Bruins nearly scored the winner in the dying seconds, but the game went to overtime.

I was in utter disbelief, but Toronto could still win it. The overtime began and Toronto had some good chances, including a one-timer by Joffrey Lupul that Tuukka Rask made a wicked glove save on. Then about 6 minutes into OT, there was yet another scramble in the Leafs end. Three Leafs were unable to corral a rebound and Bergeron buried it for the series winner. I saw him get to the puck and knew it was the winner before it went into the net. I just got up and left the room, not wanting to hear Bruins announcer Jack Edwards bellow one of his patented game-winning speeches or see the replay. It felt like I'd been kicked in the gut. Talk about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. It took me a while to get my bearings.

But I've had this experience before. With the Leafs, there were numerous examples over the years, but probably the worst was in '93 when they lost in OT to Wayne Gretzky and the Kings in game 6 and then Gretzky just dominated game 7 to send LA to the finals. The last time the Leafs were in the playoffs, way back in 2004, they lost a game 7 in OT to the Flyers when Jeremy Roenick roared down the wing and fired a laser past Ed Belfour. Two years earlier, the Leafs lost to Carolina in the conference finals in overtime when Martin Gelinas scored, again preventing a trip to the Cup finals.

The Blue Jays had their share of heartbreak in the '80s, blowing a 3-1 lead to Kansas City in the 1985 ALCS to lose the series. Two years later, the Jays had a seemingly solid 3.5 game lead in the AL East with a week to go in the season and then proceeded to lose SEVEN straight and see Detroit take the division. At least, the Jays ended up winning the World Series in '92 and '93, so the suffering paid off. Since then, of course, the Jays haven't even had a sniff at the postseason.

And I became a New England Patriots fan after moving to this area 30 years ago, which only paid off after Bill Belichick took over the team and the Pats won three Super Bowls early in the last decade. But despite having loaded teams over the last several years and making the Super Bowl twice after the 2007 and 2011 seasons, the Pats have disappointed, suffering heartbreaking losses to the New York Giants in both championships.

This Leafs loss feels the worst because they were so goddamn close to moving on to the next round to take on the New York Rangers. But there were certainly positives to come out of the series. Toronto's young forwards, including Kessel, Kadri, Lupul, James Van Riemsdyk and others, played well, and once Carlyle started playing slick d-man Jake Gardiner in game 4, he was an offensive force. The team needs a top-line centerman and some good defensive defensemen, but they've proven they can play with one of the top teams in the league. After all, the Bruins had a monumental choke of their own in 2010, blowing a 3-0 series lead and a 3-0 lead in game 7 to the Flyers; the following year, Boston won the Stanley Cup. I'm not saying the Leafs will win it all next year, but hopefully they learn from this and get better. I know I'll be watching. It hurts now, but it'll get better. Right? Right.
 

At Last

 Editor's note: This originally ran as the Cold As Ice column on Popblerd.

Nine years is a long time. We’ve seen a slew of revolutionary technological advancements since 2004: Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, the iPad, super-fast smartphones. My youngest daughter was born that March and is now 9. And next week, the Toronto Maple Leafs will play their first playoff game since May 4, 2004. For Leafs fans like me, nine years has felt like 90 (and fans up there are paying big bucks for playoff tickets).

The Leafs were a perennial playoff team at that point, finishing the regular season with 103 points, just one behind the Northeast Division winning Boston Bruins. Toronto had a veteran-laden squad, with captain Mats Sundin leading a team that featured the likes of Ed Belfour, Brian Leetch, Joe Nieuwendyk, Alex Mogilny and Gary Roberts. But they were knocked off in 6 games in the second round by the Philadelphia Flyers. Nobody in Toronto figured the Leafs would be out of the playoffs for one more year, let alone nine. But the 2004-2005 season was wiped out by a lockout, and when the NHL returned, a salary cap was in place that took away the Leafs’ deep-pocketed ability to sign free agents to big contracts. The pricey veterans from their last playoff either retired or weren’t re-signed, and Toronto entered into an era of mediocrity that was all too familiar to longtime fans such as myself who had witnessed the team’s awful 1980s decade.

In recent years, the Leafs have suffered through the many missteps of a few different general managers, including the outspoken Brian Burke, who was hired in 2008 but wasn’t able to deliver on the big promises of toughness and contention for a Stanley Cup. Burke was fired just before this abbreviated 48-game season (due to yet another lockout), and he no doubt was shaking his head as he watched the team he assembled finally securing a playoff spot. Led by goalie James Reimer and much maligned captain Dion Phaneuf and sniper Phil Kessel, the Leafs clinched a playoff spot last Saturday with a win over Ottawa. Much credit should be given to coach Randy Carlyle, who was hired last season after his predecessor Ron Wilson saw the team get off to a decent start but collapse in February and March.

Carlyle, who won a Cup with Anaheim in 2007, is a defensive-minded coach who is a big believer in line-matching and the need to put goons on the ice to maintain a sense of team toughness. Leafs fans have puzzled over some of his lineup decisions this season, but there’s no denying the results. Sure, it’s a short season, but who cares? I’m just happy they’re in the postseason once again. I don’t have high hopes, but it’ll provide good experience for the Leafs’ young players and if they win a round, great.

It’s still unclear who Toronto will play in the first round, but I’m hoping it’s Montreal instead of Boston. The Leafs match up better against the smaller Canadiens as opposed to the Bruins, who seem to have their number. Not to mention a Toronto-Montreal matchup would be HUGE in my native land Canada, which hasn’t seen a Leafs-Habs matchup since 1979. Montreal was the dominant team in the NHL at that point, steamrolling their way that year to their third of four consecutive Cups. They swept the Leafs in four games rather easily. This year, I’d say the Leafs at least have a shot of beating Montreal, which is all I can ask for. It’d be great if they could take a round or two; I’m not so foolish to think the Leafs could go all the way (although I sure would love to be proven wrong). But their goalie, Reimer, has been heating up, so who knows? A hot goalie can make a big difference in the playoffs, when games are much tighter.

NHL playoff hockey is the best thing going in professional sports, in my opinion. I love to watch the playoffs no matter who’s playing, but it’ll be great to see my team actually in the postseason for the first time in so damn long. And if Toronto actually experiences some success, so much the better. After so many years of disappointment, my expectations being kept low but my fingers are crossed.

Completely Conspicuous 275: Picking Up the Pieces

Part 2 of my conversation with guest James Gralian about the post-lockout NHL. Listen to the episode below or download it directly (right click and "save as").

Show notes:
- Recorded via Skype
- NHL surprises this season include talented teams struggling: Detroit, Philly, Nashville, Tampa
- Philadelphia's long stretch of bad goaltending
- Gotta love Ilya Bryzgalov
- Toronto-Detroit will be in Winter Classic next year
- Chicago's been the best team in the league by far
- The long, strange journey of Ray Emery
- Jay: Making the case for the Leafs
- Pittsburgh messes with success, keeps winning
- Realignment kicks in next season
- Playoff hockey is the best
- James picks a team to root for when the Avs don't make it
- Jay: Just happy to see Leafs in playoffs
- Players rarely stay on same team for entire career
- Rooting for dirty teams
- NHL has come back strong from lockout
- Fighting in hockey at most levels
- Bonehead of the Week


Music:
The Hush Now - Marathon Monday
Guided By Voices - Flunky Minnows
Iceage - Morals
Game Theory - Erica's Word

Completely Conspicuous is available through the iTunes podcast directory. Subscribe and write a review!

The Hush Now song is available for free download at Clicky Clicky.
The Guided By Voices song is on the album English Little League on GBV Records. Download the song for free at Stereogum.
The Iceage song is on the album You're Nothing on Matador. Download the song for free at MatadorRecords.com.
The Game Theory song is on the album The Big Shot Chronicles. In memory of late Game Theory frontman Scott Miller, you can find all the now out-of-print Game Theory albums available for free download at LoudFamily.

The opening and closing theme of Completely Conspicuous is "Theme to Big F'in Pants" by Jay Breitling. Find out more about Senor Breitling at his fine music blog Clicky Clicky. Voiceover work is courtesy of James Gralian.

Completely Conspicuous 274: Business as Usual

Part 1 of my conversation with guest James Gralian about the post-lockout NHL. Listen to the episode below or download directly (right click and "save as").


Show notes:
- Recorded last weekend via Skype
- Last spoke in October before NHL lockout began
- Season relaunched in mid-January and is wrapping up in next few weeks
- Definitely some bitterness when the NHL came back
- James' many online efforts include The Avs Hockey Podcast and Jerseys and Hockey Love
- JG: Playing hockey has deepened my appreciation for the sport
- NHL teams sign plenty of undrafted college players
- Georges Vezina was known as the Chicoutimi Cucumber
- Jack Falla wrote some great hockey books
- JK: I was mad at both sides after the lockout
- Ended up getting satellite package and following the Leafs anyway
- Greed is a given in pro sports
- The Leafs fired their GM right before season started
- Now they're on the verge of making playoffs for first time in 9 years
- JK remembers the Leafs' 1993 playoff run
- JK: Not a fan of the shootout
- Rough year for James' favorite team, Colorado
- JG: The Avs need to clean house
- To be continued
- Bonehead of the Week


Music:
Beck - Halo of Gold
Buffalo Tom - Mineral
Dinosaur Jr. - Freak Scene
Titus Andronicus - Titus Andronicus Forever

Completely Conspicuous is available through the iTunes podcast directory. Subscribe and write a review!

The Beck song is the B-side to the single "Tropicalia" from the album Mutations. Download the song for free at Epitonic.
The Buffalo Tom song is on the album Let Me Come Over on Beggars Banquet. Download the song for free at Epitonic.
The Dinosaur Jr. song is on the album Bug on SST. Download the song for free at Epitonic.
The Titus Andronicus song is on the album The Monitor on XL Recordings. Download the song for free at Epitonic.

The opening and closing theme of Completely Conspicuous is "Theme to Big F'in Pants" by Jay Breitling. 

Find out more about Senor Breitling at his fine music blog Clicky Clicky. Voiceover work is courtesy of James Gralian; check out his blog PodGeek.

Through the Past Dorkily: Tied Up in Love

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.

Tuesday, February 7, 1984

WAAF Top 5 at Five
1. Jump - Van Halen
2. Sister Christian - Night Ranger
3. Looks That Kill - Motley Crue
4. Send Me an Angel - Real Life
5. Tied Up in Love - Ted Nugent

They did it! Canada beat the US, 4-2, in the first hockey game of the Olympics! I saw it, sort of, because ABC edited the game so that only parts where goals were scored were shown. Well, at least Canada kicked butt! Go for it!

In Geometry, [dude] convinced [teacher] to let him sit in his regular seat. Thank goodness! All in all, a pretty uneventful day. Tomorrow's an early release day. We miss 1st and 2nd periods.
   
The U.S. pulled its troops out of Lebanon and onto the ships for now. I don't know if they'll be coming home, though.

- The Barbarian

Wednesday, February 8, 1984

WAAF Top 5 at Five
1. Jump - Van Halen
2. In the Beginning/Shout at the Devil - Motley Crue
3. New Moon on Monday - Duran Duran
4. Sister Christian - Night Ranger
5. Don't Say Goodnight - Jon Butcher Axis

The Leafs beat Boston 6-4! Talk about yer Miracle on Ice! Ricky Vaive got 2 goals (42 all together), plus Benning, Daoust, Derlago and Frycer scored. Allan Bester played awesome in goal! Yahoo!

I got 100 on yesterday's Geometry quiz. I had a test in Bi Sci and in French today, and I have one in Algebra tomorrow.

[Cute girl I like] wasn't at school today because she went skiing. Despite that, the day was alright. I did get put at a table in College Prep with [kid I apparently didn't like]. Ugh. Gimme a break. Well, at least [cute girl] sits with us, too.

Still waiting to get my papers back for my license.

- The (triumphant) Barbarian

Postscript: This was the first Winter Olympics since the U.S. shockingly won the gold in 1980, so I guess it was a big deal that Canada beat them. This was still the time when amateurs played, so Canada's best players were in the NHL. Also, I was still only a few years removed from living in Toronto, so I rooted for Canada big time. And the Leafs, although they didn't give me too much to cheer for in the '80s. Hmm, sounds familiar. Unlike now, when I can see every Leafs game thanks to the satellite package I have, back then I could only see Toronto play against the Bruins. I followed the highlights on ESPN and read the Globe sports section every day to get the latest info. I think there was a national game of the week on USA Network or ESPN back then that I occasionally watched, too.

I had forgotten about that Nugent song. Typical '80s hard rock wankery, although the video's funny in that only the Nuge gets any screen time. Not even the dude who sang the song is shown.

   

Stop Draggin' My Heart Around

It took nearly four months and countless false starts and setbacks and legal standoffs, but the NHL and NHL Players Association finally (albeit tentatively) agreed on a collective bargaining agreement early this morning. The deal still has to be ratified by both sides, but it means there will be a 48- or 52-game season starting in the next couple of weeks. Which, to this hockey fan anyway, is better than no hockey at all this season, the fate that fans suffered in 2004-05 when the entire season was wiped out by legal strife. The previous lockout in 1994-95 was similarly resolved in January and resulted in a 48-game season.

No doubt the league and its teams and players will be doing a massive amount of ass-kissing to get back in the fans' good graces again. It'll be interesting to see just how many fans come back. Certainly in the large markets (Toronto, Montreal, New York, Detroit, Chicago, Boston), the arenas will be packed, but I wonder how many folks in places like Phoenix, Florida and Anaheim will flock back to see their teams.

Once the deal is official, teams will be able to make moves to get ready for the season, which some reports have said will start around Jan. 19. Although many players went to Europe to play until the lockout was resolved, many more just stayed home and trained on their own or with local teams. I'm guessing a new stat to track will be the number of groin and hamstring pulls in the first week of the new season; there will be many of them. You can't just go from relative inactivity to NHL action in the matter of a few weeks without your body paying the price in some fashion.

The new CBA is a 10-year deal, splits hockey-related revenue on a 50-50 basis between players and owners (as opposed to the previous 57-43 split), the salary cap next season will grow to $64 million and there will be increased revenue sharing.

I've been pretty down on both sides as this thing dragged on, but especially the league and owners. Ultimately, I'm a hockey fan and this is the best hockey there is, so I'm glad they're back. Am I pissed about what went on the last several months? Damn right. But I'm ready to see some hockey. Of course, the down side of that is I'm a Toronto Maple Leafs fan, so I'm bound to be disappointed yet again...but I'm used to that. Drop the puck!

Completely Conspicuous 248: Take Off, Eh?

Part 2 of my conversation with guest James Gralian as we discuss the latest NHL lockout. Listen to the episode below or download it directly (right click and "save as").

Show notes:
- Recorded via Skype
- Check out James' blog Jerseys and Hockey Love
- The Bruins may lose much of the goodwill they gained from their Cup win
- The Panthers fired their mascot, the NHL's cutting staff hours
- Preparing for post-lockout play
- Fantasy hockey leagues are on hold
- James is certified to be a hockey ref
- Watching other sports instead
- Going to rock shows is a nice alternative
- Jay: Saw PiL open for INXS at Radio City, 1988
- James: Good college hockey in the Denver area
- Players are more bitter this time around
- Lockout impacts many people beyond players and owners
- Hockey bloggers gained prominence during last lockout
- Life goes on
- With no hockey, fans are finding they're saving a lot of money
- Jay: I'm okay with shorter regular season
- James recommends the movie "Goon"
- Kudos to the Red Wings
- Bonehead of the Week

Music:
The Hush Now - The Flapper
Wintersleep - Martyr
Benjamin Gibbard - Teardrop Windows
METZ - Wet Blanket

Completely Conspicuous is available through the iTunes podcast directory. Subscribe and write a review!

The Hush Now song is the band's 2012 Halloween single. Download it for free (in exchange for your email address) from Bandcamp.
The Wintersleep song is an unreleased track available for free download at Wintersleep.com.
The Benjamin Gibbard song is on the album Former Lives on Barsuk Records. Download the song for free from Chromewaves.
The METZ song is on the band's self-titled debut on Sub Pop. Download the song for free from Pitchfork.

The opening and closing theme of Completely Conspicuous is "Theme to Big F'in Pants" by Jay Breitling. Find out more about Senor Breitling at his fine music blog Clicky Clicky. Voiceover work is courtesy of James Gralian; check out his site PodGeek.

Completely Conspicuous 247: Locked Out

Part 1 of my conversation with guest James Gralian as we discuss the latest NHL lockout and why we still give a damn about hockey. Listen to the episode below or download it directly (right click and "save as").


Show notes:
- Recorded via Skype
- Check out James' blog Jerseys and Hockey Love
- Seems like we just had a lockout...wiping out 2004-05 season
- NHL cancelled first two weeks of regular season
- Players are heading to play in Europe
- James: Annoyed at the NHL, still love the sport
- Plenty of other teams to support: Minor league, college, high school
- Jay: Went to more college games during last lockout
- Looks like this lockout could be a long one
- Jay: The burden of being a Leafs fan
- During lockouts, fans find other things to do
- Fans will come back, but lockouts are costly
- True fans really love the game
- Possibility of a new team in the Toronto area
- Support for the Leafs in Toronto is similar to Red Sox popularity in New England
- The strange journey of Tim Thomas
- LA Kings won the Cup and have to wait to raise the banner
- Replacement players have been tried in NFL, MLB before
- NFL just had embarrassing episode with replacement refs
- Will non-NHL hockey players want to become scabs?
- New minor league team in Denver
- Hard to say whether NHL season will be saved
- NHL commish Gary Bettman is very powerful
- Hard for fans to sympathize with either side
- To be continued
- Bonehead of the Week

Music:
Ceremony - Everything Burns
The Mountain Goats - Cry for Judas
Allo Darlin' - Capricornia
Yo La Tengo - Stupid Things

Completely Conspicuous is available through the iTunes podcast directory. Subscribe and write a review!

The Ceremony song is from a split 7-inch with Titus Andronicus. Download it for free from Matador Records.
The Mountain Goats song is on the album Transcendental Youth on Merge Records. Download the song for free from SoundCloud.
The Allo Darlin' song is on the album Europe on Slumberland Records. Download the song for free via IODA Promonet:
Allo Darlin'
"Capricornia" (mp3)
from "Europe"
(Slumberland Records)

More On This Album


The Yo La Tengo song is on the EP Stupid Things on Matador Records. Download the song for free from Epitonic.

The opening and closing theme of Completely Conspicuous is "Theme to Big F'in Pants" by Jay Breitling. Find out more about Senor Breitling at his fine music blog Clicky Clicky. Voiceover work is courtesy of James Gralian; check out his site PodGeek.

City to City

This originally ran in Cold As Ice, the hockey column I co-write for Popblerd.
Even though they’re located just a few hours apart on opposite sides of the U.S.-Canada border, Buffalo and Toronto are very different cities. One’s a blue-collar burg known for heavy snowfall and chicken wings, the other’s the largest city in Canada known for its cosmopolitan image and gleaming skyline. And in the NHL, Buffalo and Toronto have been heading in opposite directions all season long.

On Feb. 6, the Toronto Maple Leafs were sitting two points out of fourth place in the NHL’s Eastern Conference and were seemingly a lock to make the playoffs for the first time since 2004. The Leafs had won three straight and five of their last six and all looked right in Toronto. And then…they hit the wall.

After that date, Toronto went on a 2-15 skid, a choke of monumental proportions. The team changed coaches in the middle of the losing streak, but it hasn’t made much of a difference and on Tuesday night, the Leafs were officially eliminated from the playoffs yet again.

Conversely, the Buffalo Sabres looked all but dead in mid-February, sitting firmly in 14^th place in the East. Since then, the Sabres have gone 14-2-4, shooting up to eighth place in the conference with a big win over Washington on Tuesday. With five games left in the regular season, the Sabres are trending upwards.

The same Sabres fans who were calling for the heads of GM Darcy Regier and coach Lindy Ruff in February are no doubt singing their praises now. Unlike their counterparts across Lake Ontario, who are facing yet another spring without playoff hockey. Toronto GM Brian Burke, one of the most brash and outspoken personalities in the league, is feeling the heat as the boos rain down night after night at the Air Canada Center, where the Leafs haven’t won since—you guessed it—Feb. 6.

The key to Buffalo’s resurgence has been the red-hot play of goalie Ryan Miller, who struggled for the first half of the season but has rediscovered his game. Earlier in the season, the Sabres suffered from a combination of poor play and injuries to key players. Now, the team’s benefiting from Miller’s return to form and unexpected offense from the trio of Drew Stafford, Tyler Ennis and Marcus Foligno, which has amassed 38 points in nine games.

The Leafs have struggled with their goaltending all season, but seemed to be in good position after Jonas “The Monster” Gustavsson got on a roll in January and designated number one goalie James Reimer returned after missing 18 games with concussion-like symptoms and reeled off a couple of shutouts over Pittsburgh and Ottawa, the last one taking place on that key date, Feb. 6. Burke and then-coach Ron Wilson had put together a young, speedy run-and-gun team led by Phil Kessel and Joffrey Lupul that could put the puck in the net but struggled in the defensive end; the Leafs had the league’s worst penalty kill as of Jan. 1, but suddenly tightened up and went most of the month without giving up a power play goal. The team was far from perfect, but it looked like the playoffs were a reality. Until the Leafs found new and excruciating ways to lose games night after night. Defense-minded Randy Carlyle was brought in to replace Wilson on March 2, but he hasn’t been able to turn the team around—not this season, anyway.

For long-suffering Toronto fans such as myself, this wasn’t really anything new. The Leafs last won the Stanley Cup in 1967 and in addition to that 45-year drought being the longest in the league, Toronto hasn’t even made the Cup finals in that span, which is a record. The closest the Leafs have gotten was the semi-finals, which they reached in 1978, 1993, 1994, 1999 and 2002, but of all those teams, it was the 1993 group led by Doug Gilmour that had the best shot at actually winning it all. Until they ran into some guy named Gretzky, who dominated the Leafs in game 7 to send the LA Kings to their first and only Cup final, where they lost to Montreal. Prior to the last lockout in 2004, the Leafs had been perennial playoff contenders for several years but never seemed to be able to get to the next level. Post-lockout, the Leafs came close to the playoffs a few times but since Mats Sundin left town in 2008, the team hasn’t been able to replace both his leadership and his superstar ability.

Buffalo has come much closer to the big prize since entering the league 1970-71, losing in the finals in 1975 and again in heartbreaking fashion in 1999, when Dallas’ Brett Hull scored the Cup-winning goal in overtime with his skate clearly in the goal crease (which at the time was against league rules). The Sabres have had an exciting collection of players over the last several years, including Miller, Thomas Vanek and Derek Roy, but when they’ve made the playoffs, they haven’t been able to get past the conference finals. This year, if Buffalo gets into the postseason, the team could pull off some upsets and shock a few higher-seeded teams.

Meanwhile, the biggest question in Toronto is whether Burke will keep his job and return for another season. The saddest part of the situation is there are generations of Leafs fans who haven’t seen their team even come close to winning the Cup; hell, the latest generation hasn’t seen so much as a single playoff game. In Toronto, there’s always next season…to get your heart broken all over again.