Mystery Can Three

Just like yesterday, I couldn't decide what to prepare for dinner. Call me crazy, but I didn't want to have the only leftovers that were in the refrigerator.

I eventually narrowed down my options to two different dinner dishes. One was a breakfast dish. The other choice would best be described as a "bachelor dish." When I say "bachelor dish" I want you to think of something that a man would make. This man would be cooking for himself, and he would be hungry and somewhat lazy. The laziness doesn't matter all that much, because there isn't much to eat in his kitchen. Nevertheless, he doesn't want to spend much time preparing his dinner. His options are canned food, or instant meals.

Since I am this "bachelor," I have some other stipulations. I need something that is somewhat-healthy and if it has too much sodium I will not eat it.

So, I decided to make tuna-salad. I found an onion and cut it in half. It was rotten on the inside. I found another onion. I cut it into pieces and immediately started crying manly tears that I have not cried since viewing Toy Story 3. I did not have any green peppers to add to the salad. So "tuna-salad" in this case means "tuna and chopped onions."

"Hey," you might say, "a tuna salad sandwich isn't really a meal that I would classify under the 'bachelor' category."

Let me finish.

Gosh.

If you read closely yesterday, my house was completely out of bread. That statement would still hold true for today. I did not have bread to make my tuna-salad into a sandwich. So I found the next best thing to bread.

Saltine Crackers.

I felt like Tom Hanks in the movie The Terminal. I should consider myself lucky though. Tom Hanks' character only had condiments to go with his saltine crackers. I was living the good life. I had tuna-salad to accompany my saltine crackers on their trip to my tummy.

At this point, I was feeling kind of pathetic. So in order to cheer me up, I decided to follow in the footsteps of Tom Hanks.

I made a Wilson.

Wilson was my inanimate object friend for a total of five minutes. His life span was pretty short because he eventually had a very tragic death.

At least he died with a smile on his face.

Now down to business. The contents were wonderful. Actually, these contents would have been wonderful if I were making a pie.

Strawberry pie filling.

Since I am not a big fan of diabetes I decided to try and eat the strawberries, and leave the heavy syrup alone. I ate three or four strawberries, then I started on the tuna salad and crackers.

If you've never tried tuna and strawberries, let me tell you that there is a very good reason why you haven't. This was a terrible combination. Let me just emphasize that today has been the most challenging day so far in this Mystery Can journey.

I quickly ate my tuna-salad, and then I consumed no more than half of the can of strawberry pie filling. I only ate just enough to fulfill my obligations today.

Oh! In case you were wondering what my "breakfast dish" was… the one that I mentioned in the second paragraph of this post… the main dish that I almost chose to eat instead of tuna-salad…

It was pancakes.

I could have had this:

--John D.