Miscarriage of our sweet baby

It's easier for me to type about this now since it happened awhile back.  Just wanted to document it for journaling.  It's odd because with this pregnancy I never really "felt pregnant," not that I ever have a lot of symptoms, but this time around it was literally nothing.

A week before I had actually passed the baby I had been spotting a bit and knew that wasn't a good sign. I was hoping it was it was something called implementation bleeding and that it would eventually stop on it's own with no harm to the baby and that I would be able to carry full term, well at least anything past 30 weeks would be ideal in my situation.

The bleeding had continued on and I knew it was a bad sign if the color of the blood progressively got darker and it did.  I was scared and knew the inevitable was going to happen.  I woke Jeff up at midnight on Thurs 9/3/15 and told him I had a bad feeling that I was going to miscarry, I hadn't slept at all that night because overtime I went to the bathroom it was just more blood. To my surprise the miscarriage process wasn't as painful as I had read about or thought it would be. We didn't want to wake the kids up and I was feeling well enough to drive myself to the hospital so Jeff told me to just go.

It's so funny how familiar I am with the Kingman ER, thankfully they weren't busy and of course by the time I got there I could tell that the bleeding had become heavier.  I just wanted to get checked.  out and have it over with.  It was another battle even thinking of the emotions that would come afterward.  I checked myself in and it didn't take long for them to call me back.

I met the nurse and just told her I needed to go to the bathroom because I could feel that a lot of blood was coming and I wanted to just clean myself up.  She gave me some larger pads to use and let me go into the restroom.  When I got in there I sat on the toilet for awhile and pretty much just had to let everything pass, sounds a little gross but all the blood clots I had passed just reminded me of the texture of red jello.  My heart was just thankful that the pain had been a lot less than what I was prepping myself for.

My biggest fear was seeing the little fetus in the toilet, I knew for me that would just draw connections to the baby that I didn't want to have.  I hadn't even been to my OB yet for a checkup, so I never was able to hear any heartbeat from this precious little one, which I think was a tender mercy because had I felt and heard that sweet spirit I would have struggled more with letting go of it all. Now looking back at the experience I can see the small blessings that came from it.

After I had cleaned up a bit in the bathroom they had me go back and lay down while a PA came in to check me out, he said I had been bleeding a lot so it's good that I had gone in.  He was able to suction out more of the blood, then they did an ultra sound to make sure they didn't see the baby in there still but it definitely had passed.  I wish Jeff had been there with me, it was all just so much to take in at the moment and I had been pretty teary through it all. I couldn't help but think what the baby would have looked like and how my heart missed already not being able to know this little schaublet of ours.  I just wanted him to be there for that extra reassurance that he's always so good at giving me,  and to hold my hand and tell me that it would be ok and confirm that of course because of the gospel we would get to raise this little after this life.  I was trying to have a positive outlook and if anything I knew this was another reason I had to live a worthy life to return back to this sweet babe and be able to raise it. What a special opportunity that would be!

They had me go back to the bed and rest a little bit more before they would discharge me. The nurse kept asking me if I wanted any pain meds, but I told her I was fine and didn't need anything right then.  I wanted to naturally feel what my body was going through and how it was cleansing itself of the miscarriage.  The whole time I had been texting Jeff and letting him know what had been going on, I'm thankful for a spouse who always offers me consistent support through any problem that we have.

They finally let me go home at around 2:00 in the morning, they gave me instructions that it would be important to follow up with my OB asap to get my blood levels checked and see where my HCG levels were at.  The drive home was pretty somber and quiet, I had cried enough and just wanted to go home and rest more.  I was sad not to be pregnant anymore and did not look forward to having to conceive again in the future, it's so much work!

As soon as I got home Jeff was up and waiting in our room and gave me a big hug, I remember getting teared up again and just telling him how sad I was, but was thankful that the whole process hadn't been painful. I went back to sleep but had to get up multiple times to go to the bathroom, I was still passing blood clots, but they told me that was normal and I would continue to bleed for the next couple of days.

I prayed that my body would heal quickly and that Jeff and I could start trying again soon. More tender mercies that I saw from this experience were: my OB Dr. Whip had called me early the next morning bc he had gotten the ER reports and wanted to make sure I was alright. I definitely think that he went out of his way to check on me and I appreciated the gesture of kindness. I had told him what had happened and joked that I could never have a "normal" pregnancy. He scheduled me to come in the next day to follow up.  He said that he wanted me to get my blood drawn once a week until he saw that my HCG levels were back up.

Also, that same morning my friend Barb Charon had sent me a text saying that I had been on her mind and she wanted to check on me.  I felt comfortable telling her what had happened and wanted to talk to someone about the whole thing and it ended up that she was the perfect person to speak to about it bc she had actually experienced 13 miscarriages herself.  She listened and was just the friend I needed during that time. The next day the doorbell rang and here comes Barb with baskets of food and toys for the kids. She literally went to Walmart and bought us 4 meals, a bouquet of flowers, and lots of new toys for the kids.  She had made me a little basket of lotion, chocolate, magazines and other treats to get my mind off things.  My heart was so full of gratitude for a friend that listened to the spirit and who would just come over and sprinkle love on all of us, it's just what we had needed to boost our spirits back up.  She acted like it wasn't a big deal, but it really meant a lot to Jeff and I that she would take the time out to do that.

Another friendship I'm so blessed to have in my life is Nikki Saline, she of course through it all was sending me texts of encouragement and love.  I swear she is like my life line and I don't know what I would do without her and her daily texts!

Jeff was able to take the following day off so he could take care of the kids and he let me rest which was nice.  I'm glad this trial is over with and hope that we don't have to experience this again in the future.  It was difficult to not think about my due date and being a Mommy to that baby, but I have faith that this was part of the plan and it will all work out.  I know I can do hard things and this is just another experience where I needed to be refined!

Took a picture with Barb before she left...I told her she was our "Kingman Angel" 

The beautiful flowers she brought me, it was nice to have something pretty to look at when I was so sad about everything.  So blessed to have the friends we do here in Kingman. 

Schaublet #3!

Soooooooo, my period was really late and I couldn't help but think that I could possibly be pregnant!  I thought the chances were slim since Jeff and I hadn't been trying that long and usually it takes me awhile to conceive.  My cycles are usually pretty long, but my period was waaaaaaaay overdue at this point.  Jeff had felt like I should take a test too.

Thursday August 13th had been a pretty busy day since it was Annabelle's birthday, but I decided that night after the kids were in bed to go to the Dollar General store right by our house and just by a cheap pregnancy test.  I went and of course they were sold out of all the brands they carried, it was frustrating because the day before I had checked Walmart and they didn't have any either.  Come to find out though I was looking in the wrong spot at Walmart!  Curiosity was getting the best of me so I had to find one to take.  I drove down the street a bit to the 99 cent store off Stockton Hill and thankfully they were still open.  I had a hard time finding them, but they were in the isle right next to the cash register.  I had to get some last minute things for Annabelle's party too so it worked out.  The whole time Nikki Saline kept encouraging me to keep shopping for one, I tell her everything and it was such a relief to have someone else besides Jeff to talk to about possibly being pregnant and she's so supportive and helpful with figuring out baby stuff.

I bought 2 pregnancy tests just in case, I figured 2 positive responses were better than 1!  My parents were coming that Friday for Annabelle's party and I wanted to take one before they showed up that night.  I planned on testing that morning Friday Aug 14 while Jeff was at work.  I wanted to think of a cute way to surprise him with the news if I did get a positive result.  I actually didn't sleep much the night before because I was getting so anxious to take the test.  I was kind of doubtful about it only because I had felt no symptoms to make me believe that I could be pregnant, not that I get sick or anything but my breasts usually get sore.  I also have a crazy period and it comes and goes when it wants so I was also just thinking that I had a rrrrrrreally late cycle this month.  The tests I got actually had you pee in a cup and they included a dropper to collect your pee and then put your urine sample on the actual test strip.

Usually I don't look at the test strip while waiting for the results, but this time I just stood by the counter and watched it...I saw one pink line show up and it was a dark pink shade and knew that was a good sign.  Waited a couple seconds longer and saw the second line show up!  I was INDEED PREGNANT!!!  I stared at the test strip for awhile, kind of in shock but also very happy.  Deep down and spiritually I could just feel like it was time for our 3rd little child to come into our home.  I'm always so hesitant to actually believe that I am pregnant so I used the 2nd test as well to confirm the answer! Of course that test came up positive too.

I stood there getting caught up in my own thoughts for a couple minutes and knew that I needed to get down on my knees and tell my Heavenly Father thank you...thank you for letting me be the chosen Mother to a 3rd child of His.  It really humbled me to think that Jeff and I would have 3 kids and that I needed to be a better Mom for all them and also a better wife.  I gave a prayer of thanks right there in the bathroom.  I felt the spirit come over me letting me know that this was a good thing that was going to happen and that we would make it through.

Nikki knew that I would be testing that morning and I just had to share my good news with someone! Of course I wanted Jeff to know first, but I just didn't want to tell him over the phone that I was pregnant.  I called Nikki around 7:15 a.m. and she answered and I couldn't hold back the tears and told her that I was pregnant!  She was so excited for me and said that she knew I would be. I expressed to her some of my concerns about another preterm labor or other complications that I could have along the way and she was just supportive and told me to make an appt with my OB asap to avoid any issues.  I couldn't help but feel a bit overwhelmed at the thought of Paxton's quick labor and didn't know if I could endure such a trial again.  I wish I could just hold babies in longer!  Nikki and I usually just text so it was a real treat to be able to chat with her about the baby news!  I'm hoping she gets pregnant with baby #5 soon so that we can be belly buddies!

Nikki helped me look up when my due date would be and it's around April 14-16, 2016.  I had been tracking when Jeff and I were doing the deed and so I based it off of when I'm pretty sure we conceived. (The week of July 20th)  I didn't want to use the last day of my period for the due date bc my cycles are unusually long.

Jeff loves chocolate so I just thought of to get him some Baby Ruth's with a note about Baby #3 being due in April 2016.  I also taped the tests on there so that he would believe me!  I taped the candy bars to the garage door so he would see it right when he got home!  He walked in with it and said, "Elle, did you pee all over my chocolate?!!?"  Ha ha, typical Jeff response!  Then he looked at me and said, "Baby?"  I knew he was happy, but we didn't want to talk too much about it in front of the kids.  Annabelle always asks me if I"m going to have another baby and she so badly wants a sister, but cute girl would tell everyone that there is a baby in my tummy if she knew.  We are going to wait to tell our family and friends when I'm past the 12 week mark which is mid Oct.  It's hard not telling my sisters because they know how badly I've been wanting baby #3!

Later that week Jeff and I were talking at dinner and he looked at me and said, "It's a girl!"  It's crazy that he said that because this whole time my Mommy intuition has been telling me it's a girl too, so for him to say that it just made me smile.  I hope we are right because I just feel like it's so important for Annabelle to have a sister.  My sisters mean everything to me and I don't know what I would do without them.  I just know that if she had a sister it would just be so fun for her, fun for her while they are young and especially beneficial for when they are older.  By the time this baby comes she'll be 4.5, so I know she will be able to do more to help me out.  I can already see her mothering skills kicking in because she loves to play house and take care of her babies.  I'm worried that Pax will be a bit jealous because he's still pretty clingy to me.

I can't wait for Jeff and I to go to the temple and maybe get a glimpse at life with 3 kids, or just even a confirmation that things will be ok.  I know that I could not be a better Mom without the help of the gospel and my Savior Jesus Christ.  My 1st appt is in Sept and I can't wait to hear this little babies heart beat!  We are anticipating your arrival baby Schaublet #3!

Oh Breastfeeding!

Tonight Paxey didn't nurse before he went to sleep and in a way it broke my heart.  I was feeling that I was needing to wean him soon since my trip to Hawaii is in June, but just for his sake I wanted to nurse him as long as I felt that he needed and wanted to nurse.  I felt that since he was preemie I definitely wanted to try and nurse him longer than 1 year.  He was a little fussy tonight and never has been one to take a sippie of milk to put himself to sleep, but eventually he just held his blankey and cuddled with it and was snoring before I knew it.  He didn't once try to tug on my shirt to nurse either, I think we both felt like we were done.

He's getting so big now and it was challenging to try and hold him in the football position to nurse him anyways, I couldn't help but get teary at the thought that he didn't need me in that way anymore.   I 100% believe that it was my breastmilk that got him out of the NICU so quick, and that it was a form of survival for him while I couldn't be there to hold and Mother him at nights.  Being able to nurse him was something I looked forward to doing since initially he could only take my milk in a bottle.

I remember the first time we tried breastfeeding the lactation consultant told me it was just good for him to even smell my milk, they called it non-nutritive feeds.  When he was able to nurse I would started off with the nipple shield because his mouth was still pretty little he wasn't able to get a wide enough latch.  Since he was born early it was hard for him to learn how to suck, swallow and breath at the same time.  He eventually did learn to nurse at about 3 weeks old and we would have our 20-30 minutes of exclusive nursing each day.

I had my battles with nursing this time around too.  I would even say it was harder with Paxton, because I had to retrain him on everything when we brought him home.  At first I could only get him to nurse with the nipple shield, because in the NICU that was on the only way he could nurse was with it since he was so little. So, when we came home he was hooked on the shield, in a way I liked using it because it kept my boobs from getting so sore, but at the same time I knew he would get more milk without the shield. He nursed with the shield for a good 5 weeks after we got home, it got to be annoying to have to clean it each time and those little shields get lost so easily too!

Each time I would try and nurse him without it he would get so frustrated because he couldn't latch on correctly.  He just ended up crying out of frustration, and I had my moments of getting frustrated by it as well.  I just wanted to nurse my little boy and give him the nourishment he needed.  He was hungry and just wanted to eat, and I wanted to nurse him without the shield and it all just became an obstacle.  Jeff was always really encouraging and supportive about me trying to nurse without it, and kept telling me to try and even do one feeding a day with no shield and that he would get used to it, and he did. The times I didn't use the shield I would spend up to 20 minutes trying to get him to latch correctly and to stay on my nipple, but both of us would just get so frustrated and it always ended in tears on both ends.  I just have to remember that babies are trainable, and adaptable and they learn and change constantly, and as their Mother I am here to guide them.

I'm proud to say that I nursed Paxton close to a full 16 months, that's a lot longer than I ever anticipated.  I'm patting myself on the back for having earned another badge to put on my Mommy sash of honor.  I wanted to blog about what I had learned this time around, to confirm that I can conquer breastfeeding, and that it ALWAYS gets better and easier.  I didn't want to forget the tips I learned from the sweet lactation consultants I was able to meet either.  Vonnie in the NICU helped me tremendously with pumping and Linda at KRMC was an angel about teaching Pax how to latch better and not hurt Mommy while breastfeeding.

I think I felt more passionate about nursing this time around because I knew it was going to be a key factor in helping Pax get out of the NICU quicker.  I had only pumped a little bit with Annabelle, but quickly became a full time pumping machine in the NICU.  I wanted to provide Pax with enough milk where they would never have to supplement with formula.  Fortunately I had an amazing milk supply and kept the little fridge in his room well stocked.  After delivering him it only took a couple of days for my milk to fully come in.

My first day in the NICU I became well acquainted with their high tech pumping machines they had there. Thankfully my friend Jenny Stephen let me borrow her double pump that I could use at the house when I wasn't at the hospital. I never even considered that there was a technique to pumping the "right way," but there was.  The first day we got to the NICU they let me use their pumps, I had a very well established supply of milk by week 2, I could easily pump 8 oz on each breast in 10-12 minutes.  It's amazing to me how naturally our body works and that I could produce such high quality milk like that for Pax.

I usually went in the mornings to visit and take care of Pax, but one day it had worked out that I could go late in the afternoon. I was behind the curtain pumping in his room and in walked Vonnie, she was the LC for the NICU and by far one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She honestly was heaven sent because I had been struggling with pumping and knowing how much to do, how much Pax needed from me, and of course it was starting to get painful for me. She came in, introduced herself and sat with me for a good 2 hours and guided me through the pumping process.  She told me it had been hurting and my breasts were sore because I wasn't using the right cup size to pump.  Once we corrected that and she got me additional pumping parts I could tell a huge difference.  The high-grade pumps I used at the hospital were so nice and quiet and had different settings depending on your comfortability with the pump and how much pressure your breasts could handle to get the milk out.

Vonnie quickly became someone I loved in the NICU, she was so full of knowledge and always so willing to share it and help any of the Mom's out.  I remember her telling me that even a drop of breastmilk could work wonders for a preemie baby.  I was so dedicated to pumping that I would set my alarm at 3 a.m. to wake up and pump milk for Pax, it was that important to me.  Annabelle could even sleep through me pumping too, I had a fold up chair next to my twin bed that I would sleep on and had everything ready to go so I could pump and go back to sleep.  I would always have to put a sticker label on all the bottles I brought into the NICU with the date and time I pumped the milk, that way it made it easier for the nurses to track which milk to give Paxton next.  Vonnie had such a passion for breastfeeding and truly did want to help all the Mom's in the NICU be successful with it.

After pumping like 5-6x a day for Pax it did become quite a demanding chore.  Late January of 2014 my body was producing so much milk I had to keep up with pumping or else I would feel so engorged.  I even got so good at pumping I did it in the movie theatre with my single pump when Jeff and I had taken Annabelle to see a show.  Anything for my little Paxey Poo.

Even though Pax was nursing better near the end of his stay in the NICU I still continued on with pumping, because when he would just breastfeed he wasn't getting enough.  It was important for Pax to take his full feedings everyday because he needed to put on a certain amount of weight before they would discharge him.

When it was time for us to bring Paxton home on Valentine's Day I had so much milk at the hospital, it barely all fit in the little fridge they had in his room.  I didn't know what I was going to do with it all, I knew that we wouldn't be able to take it all home and fit it in the car.  I would have happily shared my milk with the other Mom's in the NICU, but in order to donate milk you had to do some blood work and other testing.  I felt so blessed that I was able to pump so much milk because with the high level of stress in the NICU a lot of the Mom's weren't able to pump hardly anything at all.  One of my other favorite nurses Kirsten offered to take some of my milk home to her freezer because she had room for it, that helped a lot because the car was jam packed when it was time for us to go back to Kingman.  We later on ended up getting the rest of my milk from her on our way home from one of our trips from Mesa.

The nurses all advised me to keep pumping after I got home because Pax still wasn't taking all his feeds by breastfeeding. I was hesitant to keep pumping because it was so time consuming and somewhat annoying to always have to do it in addition to nursing.  I kept at it for awhile, but I noticed just how much milk I trained my body to produce and it was just too much for both me and him.  Pax would never be able to drink all the milk that I had in the freezer from what I had pumped in the NICU.  I just really wanted to get to the point with him where he just nursed exclusively for his feedings, because when we got home he really didn't prefer to take a bottle either.

It was a huge achievement when I weaned him off the nipple shield and got him to nurse without it for all the feedings.  We even got to the point where he was latching a lot quicker and he cried less too because he was getting the right amount of milk he needed to satisfy his little appetite. I also was able to fully stop pumping, but that took awhile too because I had to gradually cut down on it.  For a couple weeks after I had stopped my breasts definitely had to adjust to making just enough milk for what Pax needed only for nursing. Another incredible thing with breastfeeding is that your body truly works off of the supply and demand you tell it to.

Many nights I found myself hanging out with Linda, the LC at KRMC.  Come to find out she was actually the nurse that was on shift the night I delivered Paxton and she remembered both of us. She had later on told me that her and the other nurses were so worried that I was going to deliver Pax on the toilet because I wouldn't get off!  She also said she was happy that we had come in because she always had wondered what had happened with him.  It's nice because at KRMC they even had a Mother's Lounge where Linda could work with the Mom's on bf.  After going in about 3x to visit her she was determined to pin point where my pain was coming from because she couldn't see any real big issues with Paxton's latch. She pulled out her BF book she had got from some training and we looked at some pictures and found something called nipple vaseospasms. We both sat there and read the symptoms of it and it clearly described what I had been feeling and seeing before and after nursing Pax.  It's where the baby has such a strong suck that it takes all the blood pressure out from your breast after nursing that the nipple turns white, and that's exactly what had been happening with me.

It was such a relief to kind of put a label as to what we thought had been going on because then we were able to research remedies for it.  Some pointers that I don't want to forget that really helped out while experiencing such pain from the spasms:

1. Use a hot pad before and after each feed to get the milk going and to also bring back life to my nipple after each feed.

2.  Massaging around my nipple and kind of squeezing it after Pax nursed really helped with the lingering pain I had been experiencing.

3. Take Ibuprofen.

4. Taking hot showers.

5. Make sure that Pax was opening his mouth big enough so that I could shove enough of my breast in his mouth to get a better latch.

6. Use refrigerated gel pads after each feed to sooth my breasts.

7. "A Perfect Latch" video from Stanford University really helped me understand how babies are supposed to nurse:

http://newborns.stanford.edu/Breastfeeding/FifteenMinuteHelper.html

8. Always apply Lansinoh cream after each feed and let your nipples air dry.

9. To ALWAYS remember the pain and pinching will not last forever and it does get better!!!

10.  To enjoy the moments I have with breastfeeding and that 1-1 time with each baby.

I'm thankful that I have the super power to nourish my babies with my breastmilk, and to know that it's the best thing for them.  Even though at times I would look down and see that Pax had blood in his mouth from my nipples bleeding, it's been another victory for me to have nursed him too.  I know that a Mom's breastmilk can protect, comfort and shield them from sicknesses and really strengthen their immune system and brain development. Cheers to another child being breastfed!

Let me count the ways I love you Paxey....

My little Paxey, lately I have been loving going around the house to look for you...I can always find you in Annabelle's pink tent!  You just have such a grand ol' time in there and think it's so fun.  You've really grown into your personality lately and usually are the happiest boy, but when you get grumpy you are GRUMPY and everyone knows it.  When you get really excited you will stand by the couches and just head bang back and forth, and back and forth while laughing. We love to hold and kiss you all over, you are so fun to play with...Dad and I like finding new ways to make you giggle.

You are a bottomless little pit and have been eating so much lately, it's nice that you will devour anything that we put in front of you.  Your snack of choice the last couple of days has been cheese-its and saltines. You get very impatient if we don't get you your food quickly, you will just sit in your highchair and yell at us!  You get so angry if we take markers away from you...you like to stand near Annabelle when she is drawing on her white board and draw too.  I've been putting socks on you lately because it has been cold and you only ever pull one off, it's typical that we can find you crawling around the house with only one sock on.  Everyday you try so hard to sneak pieces of crayon or paper in your mouth, I can't leave anything on the floor bc you are a vacuum!

You really enjoy your bath time and splashing around with your sister.  Before you were so passive when Annabelle would take toys from you, but now when she does you have started to fight back and you get so angry! I don't know what it is, but like your sister you just hate being in the car at night.  As soon as we take you out you switch moods instantly and have the biggest smile on your face...it's like you know you were acting like a little monster in your carseat and then you look at us like, "Hahaha I WIN!" get me out of here!

When you are around other people you like to play that you are bashful, and it's hard to crack a smile out of you sometimes, but eventually you give in and give them the cutest grin...everyone loves you and your hair! We have 9:00 church right now which fits in perfectly with your nap schedule because we can usually get you to nap during the middle of Sunday school and all through RS.  Mom brings oatmeal to church and feeds you during sacrament, you like to eat that along with little pieces of bread.  You enjoy standing up on chairs and stomping your feet.

You have become an expert at pushing your walker and can go super fast with it, but haven't made any attempts to take steps on your own.  I have caught you a couple of times standing by yourself, but then you always just fall to your knees.  That's just you though...very chill about everything and not in any rush to walk, that's how you were with rolling over and crawling too.

I never thought I would be nursing you still at almost 14 months!  You like your breastmilk though and it's a challenge to try and get you to drink other milk, Mommy wants to wean you ASAP! If I catch you at the right time you will cuddle on my shoulder with me, only for a couple minutes though. You like to explore and want to touch everything in sight, we love your facial expressions when you get excited.  You are such a blessing in our home and we can't wait to continue to teach you what is right and to watch you grown and learn.

Paxton 13 Months

13 Month Milestones:

1. You are starting to get upset when Annabelle takes toys away from you, and try to fight back now by grabbing them from her.

2. You are very selective to who gets them, but you have started giving kisses and it's so so cute!

3. You've discovered crayons and love to eat them along with chalk, I've caught you many times with both in your mouth.

4.  Lately you've been liking to snack on saltines.

5. Dad has started to call you "Paxel Waxel" and I'm not a fan!

6. You have 2 more top teeth coming in for a total of 4 on top. Annabelle never got her teeth this quick.

7.  You are officially climbing onto everything, including the toy table in the living room. You climb on top of it and like to stand and look out the window.

8. You are such a flirt, in Sunday school you like to look at people and then turn away quickly smiling like you are teasing them.

9. If I ever want to find you the first place I look is in the pink tent in Annabelle's room, you love to play in there.

10. It's so cute bc now when we say your name your response is, "eh?"

11. You poop so much, at least 3-4x a day! Just funny bc Annabelle never pooped that much. Another true sign at what a boy you are.

12. You think it's so funny when we hang you upside down, you love it.

13. You are becoming quite the pro at pulling your socks off, but you only ever pull 1 off.

14. Now when I tell you, "good job!" you will clap your hands like you are so proud of yourself.

15. Whenever you take my phone or pick up your pretend purple one from your walker you will put it up to your ear and hold it and act like you are talking.

16. We like to say that you make dinosaur noises, you just will sit and make sounds that are just so silly.

17. I think you possibly might be walking before you turn 14 months...you took 4 steps today!!! The last couple of days we have caught you standing up all on your own without holding onto anything, and you stand for a good 10 seconds before falling down.

18. If I stick my tongue out at you, you'll do it back to me and then try to bite mine.

19. When you want something you have started to point to things, especially the food you want.

20. You have become quite the tantrum thrower! If you don't get your way or if someone takes something from you, you get so angry and scream really loud and pound your fists on the floor.

Paxton 12 Months

Paxey turns 1!!!!! 

1. You are starting to walk so fast with your little walker and can even pull yourself up on it on your own to walk.  Dad has also taught you how to turn corners and push your walker away from the walls.

2. You're our little dude and can wear 6-9 months clothing still.  You even fit into size 3 diapers still.

3. Thankfully you've slept through the night consistently since January 2015.

4. Once you turned 1 Mommy thought you would be done nursing, and I was ready to wean you, but you still love to breastfeed and don't seem ready to quit so we'll keep going. You have bit Mommy a couple times though and that made it painful to bf, but we are enduring and in it for the long run I suppose! You are nursing 3x a day, in the morning at nap time and then at night to go to sleep.

5. When you get really excited you head bang, it's so cute and funny!

6. You are weighing in at 19 lbs and have pretty much caught up with the average kid in height too. 

7. You have started to yell really loud and not cry, Daddy says it sounds like dinosaur noises.

8. When I'm nursing you, you always like to touch my eyelashes or face, you can never keep your hands down, or you will sit there and just play with your blanky. 

9. You are a typical boy and love your meat.

10. You still love to eat sweet potatoes,  bananas, oatmeal, toast and blueberries. You are such a good eater and pretty much eat everything that we give you, minus formula milk.

11. You still stand in the upper front right corner of your crib with your blanky in hand crying until someone comes to your rescue!

12. You've been so much happier at church now that we go at 9:00. You smile and laugh pretty much the whole time and take a nap during RS. Usually mom feeds you some oatmeal during sacrament and you don't have to nurse at church anymore, which is nice.  You are a sweet boy and will still just fall asleep in your car seat, it's nice to be able to pay attention to the lessons.

13. You enjoy going in the swings now at the park.

14. Grammy Shaver made you the cutest plaid red bowtie to wear to church for your special day with your white button up shirt. 

15. We had a special birthday party for you at our house which included Grammy Shaver's yummy pizza.  Mommy made you a chocolate cake and you devoured it. We also had our friends the Poe's over to celebrate with us, it was a great day!