mysterious ways

When I sit and stare and watch the world go by, I always think: God works in mysterious ways.

One day you're in love, and next day you lose that person, and five years down the road you know why God saved you from being with him. Both of you were just not meant to be. Looking back, if you're still with that person, your life would just be worse off in all aspects. Star-crossed lovers, as the story goes.

Then you fall in love with someone else, who you think will be able to love you unconditionally, only to find out later that you are absolutely wrong.

Disillusioned, played, blinded. 

But then again, he has given you everything you needed - comfort, material things, company, security, someone there for you all the time, every time. He can give you the world, but never his whole heart.

So you live with it, you soldier on, these mysterious ways.

 One of my Bali photos. Taken at Tanah Lot.

And then we went to Perhentian, where I dived at Sugar Wreck for the first time.

Here I am trying to post an entry on the second last day of my almost weeklong Bali getaway.

Thoroughly enjoyed it, although as hubs put it this was a "forced vacation" as it was supposed to be for a conference he had to attend, and then cancelled.

Glad we managed to do two dives, although only in Nusa Dua, and can't wait for another round of body massage tomorrow.

More pics in next entry when I get back to KL!



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Location:Island of the gods

holding on

I am quite sure that most of you have witnessed this incident.

A little stray cat comes up to a person in an eatery, and then the person shoos it away. Kitty comes back, meowing. Then the person gives a slight nudge to the kitty with his feet. Kitty loses its balance, and then comes back looking unperturbed. Irritated, the person gave it a stronger kick, screaming "Stupid cat!" at the kitty. It walks away for a while, and comes back again.

To persevere, to hold on, to face the pain in the name of love - does it constitute weakness?

Sometimes it doesn't, because one day that Kitty will be big enough to bite back.

scars

Time may heal but scars are forever.



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those three words

I've tweeted "those three words" before and most people thought I was in need of an "i love you" or "i miss you" or even "i hate you"!

Whenever I'm down in the dumps or in situations that overwhelm me to the core, all I need is....

"Are you okay?"

And that is all.

dusting the cobwebs

If there was an award for Neglected Blog of the Year this would be it.

And whenever I post an excuse of why I neglected you dear blog, there will always be a NEW reason. And this time the NEW reason is because we've been travelling too much that I barely have the time to blog. But of course, the main reason is because I was too busy whacking flies on Twitter.

Back to the travels... no, we haven't been diving at all in 2012! The good news is The Diver has planned for an end June trip to Bali, and we're booked for a November dive trip to our annual pilgrimage - Mabul/Sipadan.

After Bangkok, we flew to London for my FIL's convo, then I went for an all-girls trip to Phuket and after that a freeloader trip to Singapore (freeloader cuz it's all paid for by The Diver's company).

London was superb.

Fave London pic :P

Phuket was too short!

And Singapore was amazing. Cuz we had Lamb Shawarma (quite close in taste to the Taza ones in London) and I raided H&M for two straight days.

And now, I'm so looking forward to Bali!

on being a stepmother

Sometimes I overthink.

Well scratch that. Most of the times, I overthink. And overthinking, mostly in my case, will lead to something disastrous.

I have two teenage stepdaughters, the 16 year old one staying with us, the 19 year old one with my inlaws. And to handle them, especially the one staying with us, is a delicate balancing act.

She's smart, hardworking, pretty but at times, like ALL teenagers, has her own issues. I don't want to dwell on it here but at times I feel like advising her on things that she shouldn't be doing. Which I did.

But when the advice went unheeded, and I need to do it again, I feel like I am nagging already. And suddenly the image of the evil stepmother comes to mind. What would be "normal" for a biological mother to do to her daughter, suddenly becomes something that is sensitive.

What hurts most is that if that becomes the only thing that your stepdaughter thinks of you, someone who nags. What hurts too is that she will say she loves her father, her mother, her siblings, but not me. Never me.

What she doesn't know is that I love her with all my heart, like my own daughter. And I don't want to see her go down the wrong path in life.

What she doesn't know is that if something bad happens to her, if she does not excel in her studies etc, people will point the finger at me for not bringing her up properly.

Ah well, this is expected and I guess as the adult, I should better handle it emotionally. In the meantime, I am stuck with this thankless task.