7.21.2019
65 years
65 years ago my cute grandparents got married at the age of 17. They have such a wonderful love and a great legacy!
Golf...Parker
the kids are very active which I like. They tend to follow the sport of the season, which is golf right now.
They are lucky to have a a dad that takes them out!!!
7.18.2019
garden...
7.01.2019
Brave
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
6.25.2019
not if but when...
It’s 2019, in the past 5 years I’ve had brain cancer 3 times. Adult medulloblastoma. I’m pretty envious of people that have had cancer and that are in remission. (It still is crummy and every trial is hard) I know I will never be. I know that it will keep coming back. Not if, but when. I’m hoping that I can fight this challenge and be a grandma to spoil my grandkids. I’ve already done it 3 times, I can keep going!
My family now...
We all have changed in some good and bad ways I know that I won’t be around forever and I hope they have some good memories!
6.23.2019
SOBRIETY TEST/ BALANCE
SOBRIETY TEST/ BALANCE
If you ever walk next to me, I tip over on you a lot. It takes a lot of concentration. My balance isn’t good. My doctor told me to never climb a ladder. My biggest fear is the treadmill, I have a death grip on it as I run, I never let go. I’m afraid of falling off of it. I had to relearn how to ride a bike, so I’m not a big fan of the term, “it’s like riding a bike.”
Because my balance isn’t so well my oncologist suggested not driving at night and if I get pulled over I could NOT pass a sobriety test, have the officer call him directly or huntsman.
“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure.”
Dates
“I want to live forever, and I know I won’t. I’m not afraid of dying. I’m only afraid of one thing: not being able to raise my kids” -Kevin Costner-
I think about death a lot, probably more than the average person. I know what songs to have sung at my funeral, who to speak and my pallbearers. I think of Parker, would he be able to hold up the casket? It changes a little every time I have cancer, but it is always on my mind. I’m not scared of death, I’m scared to leave my family.
Parker was 6 years old and in kindergarten when I was first diagnosed. I remember when I lost my hair he didn’t want to look or talk to me. After a few days, he shaved his head and was my little supporter/helper. (He took a lot on at age 6).
My goal when he was in 1st grade was to walk him to school that first day (which was hard because I was weak, but I made it!)
He is a champ and I’m so proud of him!
I know
“I want to live forever, and I know I won’t. I’m not afraid of dying. I’m only afraid of one thing: not being able to raise my kids” -Kevin Costner-
I think about death a lot, probably more than the average person. I know what songs to have sung at my funeral, who to speak and my pallbearers. I think of Parker, would he be able to hold up the casket? It changes a little every time I have cancer, but it is always on my mind. I’m not scared of death, I’m scared to leave my family.
Parker was 6 years old and in kindergarten when I was first diagnosed. I remember when I lost my hair he didn’t want to look or talk to me. After a few days, he shaved his head and was my little supporter/helper. (He took a lot on at age 6).
My goal when he was in 1st grade was to walk him to school that first day (which was hard because I was weak, but I made it!)
He is a champ and I’m so proud of him!
POWER OF PRAYER
POWER OF PRAYER:
During radiation I’m in a room all by myself on a table with a mask over my head. It’s hard, its challenging and let’s be honest no fun. If you’ve ever had radiation it has a certain smell. To me it’s like chocolate and burnt chlorine. Most of the time I do ok. But one time I started to panic, I couldn’t breath and I was ready to give up. Then I remember people saying that they had prayed for me. So I prayed that I could feel those prayers. I instantly calmed down and was lifted up by others.
There are many times that I turned to prayer for help and guidance but that time it was so strong.
recurrence
MEDULLOBLASTOMA RECURRENCE:
I had symptoms for many years before diagnosis. I saw lots and lots of different doctors and they all had an answer, but to come find out they were all wrong. I was going to physical therapy for a hole in my inner ear (🤦♀️ it made sense) even after a CT scan, MRI and hospital visit they thought it was a cavernous malformation. I didn’t find out I had cancer for a few days till after surgery. Who knew that those 3 words would change my life, “YOU HAVE CANCER”
So as of now I’ve had 3 brain cancers in 5 years and I go in every 2-3 months for an MRI and oncology visit(dates)
“Loving yourself allows you to enjoy the rollercoaster of life you’ve been given.”
Then and now...
THEN and NOW:
A lot of changes have happened in the past 5 years! Some good and some challenging.
Cute macey recently: someone asked if I was sick (I had a headache) she looked at them and said, my mom has cancer! (Maybe that’s not funny to anyone else but it made me smile!)
I wrote this message on Instagram- March 18th, 2014
Today is just a regular day with these 3 hooligans; spilt milk, stories, tea party, cuddles, messes and running errands. Oblivious that their world is going to be turned upside down. What a sweet spirit each of them brings into our home. They each have the light of Christ shinning brightly through their souls. Hearts full of love. I pray that peace, calmness and comfort be with my strong 3 children. I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be!
I do feel bad what my family has gone through but I think that my children and those around me stepped up when they needed to!
Here is to 5 more years!
Parker was 6 then and now 11
Macey was 4 and now 9
Addison was 1 and now 6
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