Shabbat Shalom

I am feeling a little disjointed and disoriented today. I am not sure what to post about. Perhaps the beautiful weekend we are having, complete with sunny weather, a lovely lunch at the lively "cheese board" in the gourmet ghetto (which had a great crowd and a live jazz band) , and a walk on the pier at the Berkeley Marina. Or maybe I could write about Zack's new preschool at the Jewish Community Center, where we celebrated Zack's first Shabbat on Friday. Zack enjoyed the experience so much he told his father that evening "Today is a special day, it is Shabbat, we celebrated it at Preschool. Do you want to do Shabbat tomorrow?" Or I could fill you in on the cowboy hat wearing, hippy mother of one of Zachary's new classmates who came on way too strong, wanting to create a weekly childcare swap right out of the gate. (Trying to find the heart to tell her no, I am embracing the stay-at-home bit for the time being and the last thing I want to do is open a part -time in home daycare in my home for her benefit.)

Things are happening very quickly. I feel a bit like I am riding a crashing wave, I am in the rising up right now, in the honeymoon sort of stage, the place is exciting and full of wonderful things to do. I feel almost euphoric as I explore the area with Evan and Zack, and I am actually enjoying the freedom and the anonymity of knowing almost no one. I am just bracing for the crash, and worrying that I'll feel a crushing sense of loneliness and loss as the months grow colder, and everything looses it's novelty. For now though, I want to embrace the fact that I am happy, and starting a brand new life. A blank slate.

Urban Girl

When I created my blogger profile I described myself as an "urban girl". I have to laugh. Perhaps any true city mouse would. As it turns out Denver, even downtown Denver experiences do not seem that relevant to true big-city living. Now perhaps Oakland/Berkeley does not compare with NYC, but it sure does make Denver seem a little small potatoes. I am continually surprised by my urban encounters here.

Case in point-it is a Saturday morning, I am just going to run to Target for a few essentials and the grocery store for some dinner-I'll be back in an hour.... or three. You see, the Target parking lot presented a few hurdles. Those challenges included way to many cars for the relativly small parking lot and a glutany of aggressive, crabby drivers. I drove around, and around and around again. After about twenty minutes I found a spot that took me about a dozen maneuvers to squeeze into. Once inside the store, I had to negotiate my cart and Zachary through a sea of anxious shoppers. Berkeley sports the first two story/elevator equipped Target I have ever visited. It doesn't seem to have any better products or bargains than my quiet Denver equivalent, where I could zip in and out without any hassle in a matter of minutes.

Next on to the Berkeley Bowl. Now I do have to say there is no such a culinary phenomena in any place I have lived thus far. In past postings I have already proclaimed the glory of their produce selection, but there is more to the Bowl.... yes an amazing selection of overpriced cheese, tasty gourmet prepared foods, and freshly baked breads and pastries. Total ecstasy for anyone who enjoys eating. The place is PACKED. I have Zack in the grocery cart and I seem to be playing bumper carts with every other shopper in the building. I get reprimanded by another shopper when Zack reaches into the free sample cheese bowl with his bare hands-"there are toothpicks" he hissed. Yes, yes, I realize there is a swine flu epidemic in this country, but he is four, and you should never, ever eat those samples if you are a germa-phobe anyway! At the checkout counter the cashier only half jokes that if I want to continue shopping at "The Bowl", I should remember to have my organic produce weighed at one of the "weigh stations" before cashing out. "Huh?" I ask. I guess I missed that. I inform him that I am new to Berkeley. "Huh." he responds. "Well just remember for next time, we don't like it when people forget." Alrighty then. So yes, the cashier was a wee bit gruff and rude, and the place was a bit of a nightmare, but I will continue to deposit my husband's paycheck there all the same-it is just too amazing to pass up.

So that whole Saturday outing which I expected to take about an hour was much more lengthy and complicated than I had anticipated. I have come to realize that now that I am living in a much larger urban area, everything takes longer and requires more planning. There is more hassle, and people run faster. No, it isn't New York, but I see now that a city of that caliber would simply eat me alive.

Getting Settled.

Yes, we survived, and we are in fact living in our new home. Most of the boxes have been cleared and we are functioning in our home, cluttered with the random remains of opened boxes (so that's where my hello kitty tooth brush has been hiding!). I am focusing mostly on the aesthetics at this point, where to hang this or that, and trying to be productive every day.

Today I checked out a preschool for Zachary, the first one. It was ugly. Just gross, and at a bargain too-around $900/month. The place was shabby, run down, and totally chaotic. Kids running everywhere, the noise was overwhelming. The director was not at all articulate, tongue tied and unable to answer basic questions. I just didn't get it. Who would actually fork over nearly a grand a month for this dirty excuse for a childcare facility?? Hoping I will have better luck tomorrow when I visit the Jewish Community Center to tour their preschool. It has to be better than today's disaster.

We have in fact ventured out of our emerging home for other outings as well. We have toured the nearby shopping areas, and I am thrilled to report that we have trendy, wonderful strips within a mile of our house. Sushi, deli, bagels, Thai, Indian, bakeries, cheese shops, spas, salons, book stores, we got it, and I love that. We have visited the local park and had a run in with a rowdy four year old who pushed Zack to the ground and called him a bad name-something to do with an asteroid, but I couldn't quite follow his reasoning. I have discovered the amazing grocery stores that the bay area has to offer and I have been shocked by the bounty of fresh produce, really? purple carrots and bell peppers? brocolinni? Thai basil? You can't find that in Denver.

Yet I am starting to feel a little lost. The husband started his job today, and after the initial house set up, I will have little to keep me occupied. Sure there will be the day to day activities of keeping the boys happy and the house in order, but I can only do some much housekeeping and park runs before I go out of my mind. Honestly, it doesn't appear to be nearly as easy to connect with other families here in Berkeley. In Denver, all I needed to do was post a message to the Highland's Mommies message board "looking for a playgroup" or "does anyone know of any fun activities going on this weekend?" and I would get instant response. There does not seem to be such a network here-and I have already had a million and one recommendations for the Berkeley Parents Network which quite honestly hasn't done much for me thus far.

The husband just informed me that it is getting on to 11:00. Past mama's bedtime. Better get myself to night-night.

PS-Looking forward to the worst the bay area has to offer in weather-we are anticipating a HUGE a-seasonal storm. Yes folks, the Kargas family has arrived....

Welcome to California.

Hello Berkeley!! The Kargas family has arrived! Whats that??? Nobody gives a damn? Huh?

Our next door neighbors rolled out the welcome mat by adorning our car with a neatly written note "please do not park your car in front of our house and taking up our entire parking area. Thank you". Well nice to meet you too! Hey neighbors-did you happen to notice the enormous moving van that was parked in front of our house for 24 hours? Perhaps that would provide a hint to the reasoning behind our misguided parking. Maybe you saw the Colorado license plates-that would clue you in to the fact that we are brand-spanking new to California and would appreciate a wee-bit of kindness. Nah, it appears you are not so intuitive, or at least you seem to lack in the area of compassion. So that is how it's going to be. Well friends, I am proud to confirm that I did restrain myself from neatly writing a note and posting it on said neighbor's door proclaiming "so sorry for the inconvenience, we are looking forward to getting to know you, even if you do lack the common decency to knock on our door and introduce yourself before leaving nasty notes."

Ahhh... welcome to Cali baby.

On The Road (Again)

Still on the road. We are staying at a low -end motel in Lake Tahoe. David is at a bar down the street with Zack, watching his beloved Twins. I am here in our dingy digs with Evan, drinking cheap wine in a plastic cup, Evan whimpering non-stop.

Tomorrow we will do some touring of Tahoe, and then will drive the final leg to Berkeley. The moving vans will arrive Thursday morning.

So far the trip has been fine. I have certainly identified that I am not truck driver material. While pieces of the journey have been beautiful, others (like the eerie drive through the salt flats of Utah) have felt rather monotonous. In order to keep myself interested, and avoid "drowsy driving" which could surely turn disastrous, I have succumbed to ingesting tons of toddler treats. We are talking gold fish crackers, teddy grams, granola bars, you name it-I have consumed it, I have no doubt the scale will reflect such when I find the courage to face it.

Today we had a leisurely drive from Elko Nevada to Lake Tahoe, California, stopping for a brief visit in Reno. The Reno experience comes on the heels of a Vegas vacation, and the contrast has been stunning. Vegas, all glitter, glam and excess, and downtown Reno-a crumbling, sad mess. We found the city to be rather depressing. The downtown area was lined with casinos, some of them left vacant, cheesy souvenir stores, and not much else. I felt as though we had walked into a ghost town, a few years before it was totally abandoned. Pre-children perhaps I could have seen the city in a different light, enjoyed the nostalgia of it, indulged in a few cocktails and gambled away the afternoon, however visiting with the kids made me weary. I wanted to cover Zachary's eyes as we passed a window display of coffee mugs resembling bare breasts, I wanted to cover his ears as we passed a bunch of heavily tattooed, pierced and filthy teenagers shouting profanity at one another and I wanted to scoop up Evan and hold him tight when a pathetic homeless man explained to me that children were (cover your own ears) "shit factories".

We left Reno after 45 minutes or so, and headed to Lake Tahoe, a stunning mountain resort. It is spectacular here, and I look forward to a morning hike with the family. Then on to our final destination, Berkeley, where we will spend the night on air mattresses in our empty new home. Thursday morning the movers will come and unleash total chaos as they unload 3000 square feet of belongings which I will need to squeeze into our 1500 sq feet house. It will be time to face the music, what seemed so far off in the future is now reality.

On The Road

We are gathered in a cheapo motel in Vernal Utah outside of Dinosaur National Monument. We have survived Day One of Operation Moving to California. We got a later start than we had anticipated as we tried to complete all the random last minute relocation duties, including the near impossible task of capturing and containing Flanders. We rolled out of town at about 10:30, after I alone shed quite a few tears as I took a last look at our now empty home. It is funny how awful a house can look when it is stripped bare of all of it's furnishings. The baseboards and walls were filthy, and the floor covered with horrifying dust bunnies. But even naked, the house felt warm with memories.

The ride through Northwestern Colorado was incredibly beautiful. The fall colors spotting the mountains reminded me just why we moved to Colorado in the first place. We stopped at a dingy little diner for lunch, one of those spots that surely was missed by the department of health, and boasts "family favorites" like frito lay casserole (no I am not kidding). The meal took too long to arrive at the table, and we were in melt down city, when the kids meatball sandwich finally arrived at the table. After an unappetizing meal we hit the road again. The boys did great. Evan slept or quietly babbled in his car seat (is he really Zack's brother?) and Zachary was in a near zombie state, mesmerized by his new dvd's (Madagascar and Dora). I passed the time with my "Going to California" play list on the Ipod.

The rain started in the late afternoon, and by the time we arrived in Vernal we realized it was too rainy and too late for a hike at Dinosaur. So we opted for dinner at a fine Vernal establishment, one that offered an interesting wine list "chardonnay or merlot", and baked potatoes after 5. And now here we are at 8:20, all in the same room. David is reading the boys "fox and the hound", and I am wondering if we should even bother trying to put the little monkeys to bed before we turn in, and if I really want to shut the lights out at 8:30....

Tomorrow we are off to the Fab Salt Lake City and the Mormon Tabernacle. It doesn't get any better than this.

Autumn

It is one of those amazing autumn days in Colorado. It is brisk but sunny, cool breeze dancing around and the undeniable feeling that change is eminent. When we first moved to Denver fall was such a pleasant and welcomed surprise. As a born and raised Midwesterner, I was accustomed to a brief autumn that boasted spectacular color but gave way to a brutal winter. For most of my life fall meant impending doom, months and months of subzero temperatures, with snow that would fall soft and white but would turn to icy, black patches capturing all the urban pollutants. My body would tense as the leaves changed color, and I would shed tears as I packed away the summer flip flops and tshirts.

Over the years fall has become my very favorite time of year in Colorado. The temperature is perfect and I no longer have to anticipate a miserable winter. I have in fact come to welcome the change in seasons. Winter in the Mile High provides gentle, and some times fierce snowfalls, that melt quickly and usually provide very little inconvenience. One day your making a snowman, and drinking hot cocoa, the next taking a stroll in your jean jacket and enjoying ice tea.

So many people tell me how great the California weather is, but to be honest I think I am going to miss the climate here. Somehow it is hard to imagine a Christmas where there is zero percent chance it will be white.

So I am sitting here on my front porch as I write this, enjoying the sunshine and and the beauty of an October afternoon in Colorado. The moving van is directly in front of me. Our movers are toiling away inside packing up our belongs, tearing everything down. It's impossible not to get teary eyed and sentimental. Today I am here, in my most favorite spot on earth, and in two days I will be heading off to a new life and a change much greater than the passing of a season.