rambling bout nothing

I finished reading “if you could see me now”. When I first bought it, I thought to myself, “I really shouldn’t have grabbed it off the shelf and spend a fortune on it.” It didn’t exactly tickle my fancy in the beginning, but as I leafed through the book, and let me absorb myself in the book, I ended up in tears, as always.

It’s been such a long time since I suffered insomnia. The night before the last, despite my attempts to sleep, I got less than 3 hours. Last night I got less than how many hours. I don’t know what’s going on. This hardly happens unless of course something is bugging my mind. Well, actually, there is something, but that’s nothing I wish to share.

And last night, when I couldn’t sleep, I rummaged through some old stuff in wardrobes and found the thing I had been searching for. It’s more or less the same as it was 2 years back, smelt more like wood more than anything, but well,, it was still what it was. Right after that, I got back to bed, and.. I slept. Surprisingly.

Hmm… I have never really had problems with handphones. They hardly give me any problems, no matter haw horribly ganas I am. But this one, though I didn’t exactly tend to it like a baby, I did take care of it, and now, it’s giving me a really tough time. It’s asks me to give my PIN code everytime I shut it and open it. (it’s a flip) as if I switched it off or something. Then, I’m left with an abundant of missed calls and messages.

The people in Shah Alam are helping us close the deal with the guy today. Hopefully things go well so that we can start cleaning up and moving in. It’s going to be another hectic semester. And I don’t even have a place to stay yet. Damn. I have to go to the handphone shop now. Hiccups non-stop and I’m hungry. Forgive my ramblings. I lack sleep.

i remember.. i remember IT

I was fifteen, and it was sometime during the earlier months in the year. I remember clearly. I had been saving for a long time for that outing because unlike some other people, I don’t get all life’s luxuries on a silver platter. I normally had to work to earn what I wanted. We were all sitting in that restaurant; all of us were fifteen then, pretending to look all grown up, matured and rich. Those were some of the good unforgettable days.

I remember where I sat. I remember because it was so easy to look at you from where I was sitting. I remember because the moment I saw you I felt an unexplainable feeling. I guess it had been there long before I even cared to take note. You were the one who wanted to see me first. I was so young and naïve and I had no idea why you wanted to see me. But I was so excited all the same. Confusion is a big issue for a fifteen year old, you know. Then, I saw that tall figure of yours walking into the restaurant. We exchanged hellos and goodbyes before we left, and that was the end of it.

After that, we met each other occasionally. We really did frequently meet when I was fifteen. I remember when all of us were up North. I hated you then, being the protective sister that I am. But I liked your patience because I had never met anybody like you before. At the same time I envied you because you were somewhat “stealing” somebody who is mine. It was complicated and again, I was so naïve. I hated and liked you simultaneously. That was enough of a complication for me at that point in time.

The same year, we met again during the fasting month. For me, it was a special time because that was the first time I was permitted to go out at night. And that day, I was supposed to meet up with a cyber friend of mine, whom is supposedly the handsomest bloke on planet earth. But he didn’t turn up, and that upset me. You knew he was supposed to be there, so I remember you asking me about him. I remember how you towered over my tiny figure, furious that the bloke broke his word. It felt good to feel so protected. But you weren’t mine. Not then.

After that, I didn’t meet you for the longest time I could ever remember. I finished school, but you finished first. I was back in school for an event and you were there too. We didn’t go to the same schools but you were everywhere I was. I remember myself saying hello enthusiastically, like an excited kid who had just found her long-lost kitten. That was it. We exchanged hellos; a very enthusiastic one my part that is, and we never met again.

That was until I was in my first year in university. Life had been rough, for you as well as myself. I was in the state of severe insanity. I was a walking stick, a living skeleton. It was November, I remember. Novembers are normally very sweet. And this one was no exception. I was being spoilt. I wanted you to give me something. And so, I went to see you some place near my place. I was shocked to see the person you were with. I didn’t know. I got what I wanted; I went home happy, a little bit shocked though. But I forgot to thank you. I remember because you called later that day to remind me. I guess I really was a zombie with no manners. At that time, that is.

After that, we had many telephone conversations. You were no longer with the person I saw you with in November. For some unexplainable reason, I felt relieved; I almost smacked myself for feeling good. I told you so before. I guess it had always been there, unrevealed. Things were beginning change between us. Somehow I knew something was going to happen. It did. It finally did. It shocked many. I shocked myself. It numbed some, and question marks were lingering in the air. There was traffic.

But we relieved that congestion somehow. Sometimes, all you need to do is to believe in people. Each one of us deserves a chance, chances even. And by giving, we would receive. I did just that. And it has definitely paid off.

I don’t know why the memories of you seem so vivid in my mind. I remember every little detail. I remember you. I guess you were always there. And likewise, I was there all the while as well. I guess we just took time to realize and to remember that through it all, we had always been together for a long, long time.

bless that good samaritan

I feel sick. I was stuck running in the rain on the way back home just now. Lucky for me, a Good Samaritan, Mr. Phillip, I think he said his name was, was kind enough to stop his car and hand me over his own umbrella. I am scared of strangers, really, I am. I’m even scared to get into a car with a friend of a friend. So at first I declined his kind gesture, but it was really raining like cats and dogs, and I was already drenched as it is, so I finally took the umbrella, and got a little bit of protection half way home.

Today I had lunch with the Smarties. Sorry people, I cannot say Smarty Pants, so I say Smarties for short. Anyhow, only 3 of us made it, because although Dean initially wanted to join us after prayers, he was stuck in PWTC. Bats just got back from Alor Setar, so she’s still tired. So, only Jaja, Nad and I enjoyed Christmas in Midvalley. The decorations are lovely, so we couldn’t help snapping pictures here and there. Haha, tell me one place I never bring my camera to. Semua tempat pon bawak, talk about being a camera freak. Thhihihih.

Anyhow, we had the usual talk about results and what not, and the shocking things that have been happening during the hols. People can be so unpredictable sometimes kan? And not to mention tak berhati perut langsung.. isk isk isk..

Bought new earrings, and though I know this is weird, I’m wearing one of them right now. Jaja, I love the bufferfly one, heheh. And I ate this ice cream, which I cannot remember the name.. Maconna? Or Madonna? Or Maccadonia? Or Macadonna? I cannot remember, but it was superbly milky, you’ll have to try it some day.

I need to get to bed. My head is all woozey.. and my bed is a mess.
May God bless that Good Samaritan.

“The things that happen to us are sometimes the least expected things. We think we are strong enough to make it alone, but the fact remains that until and unless we are left to live life on our own, we would never know how much we need those people surrounding us. We’ve got to stop taking people for granted, because life is box of chocolates. And we would never know what we’ve got until it’s really gone…”

Something to ponder on before you go to bed. Wanshang hao!

sisterly outings

I simply cannot live without my Mom. Thihihihih. Just finished helping my mom plan something for this weekend. I love it when my Mom gets excited about something, it makes her extra adorable, especially when it involves food, haha.

Today I had 2, oh 3 outings actually. At around noon I went to Menjalara to pick FiQqs up, and then we headed off to OU, to do some window shopping, as usual. Vincci has loads and loads of nice shoes and ballet pumps and what not, and I wish I didn’t have any books or rent or anything to pay, so that I can just splurge with pleasure. Well, anyhow, I didn’t. We had lunch at BK and talked about lots and lots of stuff. FiQqs was my junior in college, and though we weren’t exactly that close back then, I’ve always thought of her as a real sis. I guess I treat each and every starter of mine like a sis, and that’s why I don’t have many of them. (for non-TKCians, starter is a name to replace “pet-sisters” and what not). We talked and talked some more, and walked around looking at stuff, wishing we had more money, haha. As usual.

Then, at around 1600, we went to see Hood at WH. I can’t remember the last time I saw Hood, but I have no idea why I miss her so, so much. Hood and I have been pretty close throughout these years, and it was really nice to meet up, eventhough it was only for a short period of time. FiQqs and I went to teman Hood eat her lunch at Kenny Rogers and that’s when our YBs, Azali and Dean came to join us. They were taking some time off to relax from their hectic schedule. After that, we went all crazy over Hood’s new shoes which was super, super nice. Aiyah…. I also want la!!! Of all times, I am so freaking broke during the sales. Damn…

Well, anyhow, left OU after a while and sent FiQqs back home. The jam wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, and I reached home with a happy heart.

Thanks FiQqs, for the gift. I still go jelly at the sight of soft toys, though I legally am no longer a kid. Ahahha. And Hood sayang, you hang in there because things would be fine, trust me. *I can’t stop thinking about what Nick told you though*.. haih..

I’m off now. Going to watch Runaway Jury, and continue reading my new book. Nadira, you ARE right. This one hasn’t quite captured my attention yet. Perhaps I made a wrong purchase, haih..

What would life be without complications ya? Good nite lovely people.

the trademark TKC smiles =)

above to bottom: moi, hood and fiqqs, hood dear and me, last one is me with fiqqs

my stuff =)

my personal collection

new softie fiqqs gave me, i like =)

dah basi pon basi la. baca saja ya? =)

Oh, yes. It has been quite some time since my last update. It was like last month, I think? Haha. Well, anyhow, I’ve been kind of occupied actually. I wouldn’t exactly say I’ve been busy, not as busy as our YB, of course, but occupied.

Some stories have become basi, actually. The last thing I remember is my excitement about the lexis nexis course. And trust me; the course was something worth being excited about. The marketing team was super nice; the program they were promoting was superb too. All in all, it was a very good day. Of course to top up that good day, the girls and I (except for Nad, that is, because she was still jetlag from her trip to Hong Kong) went to IKEA to do some shopping. We all went gugu gaga over the furniture and the ideas they displayed in the showrooms. I have absolutely no recollection of how many times I told Mummy I wish I had a house of my own, and kids and kitchen and bedroom, well, basically I just wanted my own house. (Sorry Mummy, sure busan, cakap ribu-ribu kali).

Then, the girls and I went back to my place to have a look at my room, which was a mess, as usual. And then, Jaja wanted to go back, when she saw me playing Jewel Quest. She was stuck like glue to it, I just had to take pictures because it was so, so amusing. As displayed below. And she just started the game, and was already hooked. So you can imagine how horribly addicted I am to it, ya?

take note: tgk tuh, jaja and her handbag, KNEELING some more. addicted giler..

mummy pon sama rupa-rupanya.. hahahahahha

Then, they went back home, and I started packing because I volunteered to become one of the liaison officers for the ASEAN Civil Society Conference which was held from the 7th till the 9th December in my Uni. Unlike many other things I’ve done in UiTM, this time round’s activity was a lot more fun than usual, partially contributed by the fact that I had met many new people who enjoyed verbal sparring more than anything in the world. (Rafaie, being one of them). All in all, though the delegates did make things seem more complicated than it should have been, with their demands and queries and what not, it was very much fun and educational. And it’s such a surprise that we all acted like we’ve known each other for years though we just met then. Didn’t get to take many pictures though, because we were kind of busy running around from one place to another, doing lots and lots of stuff.

And now, I’m back at home. I was supposed to go back to Shah Alam for MMS, but I was too rocked out to even pack. Besides, my parents were away for a while and the kids needed a driver and an adult at home (though I don’t seem at all like an adult, I am a responsible sister, mind you!). And I so love Mr. Brightside, because he came to see me. Kesian dia, orang dekat movie ticket counter ingat girlfriend dia belum 18, ngahahaha. Sorry ha dear, I can’t help it that I’m short, huhu.

That’s all folks. I’m currently addicted to Text Twist. And I just bought a book by Cecilia Ahern "If You Could See Me Now" in Borders, in Ikano just now. Just for the record, Ikano is nothing exciting. So I suggest you don’t go there unless you are claustrophobic and hate crowds and until they open more shops.

Toodles, everyone. Have a very good night okay? =)

and to Melissa, you inspired me to write this one, somehow.. basi pon basi la kan? huhu

monkey business

This laptop has been going on and off for more than 5 times just this night. I am so exhausted, yet I can’t seem to doze off. I’ve been trying to sleep ever since 2130, but to no avail. Normally, during holidays, I seldom miss updating my blog daily. But for the past few days, I missed. Let’s just put it this way; it is a lot better to equate anger with silence, rather than regretting words said and written when finally outside that moment of angst. I do have a blog expressing how angry and hurt I’ve been for the few days of my silence, but I’d like to keep it to myself for now. Unless of course, you happen to have my laptop password; the key to my heart =).

Well, anyhow, today has been a good day, though I didn’t do much to start with. I only went to the market and sat in my room playing Jewel Quest, which Dude helped me download from the internet, which I am currently addicted to. Babah wanted to sort of like shoo us from the house just now, not that he didn’t like having us around or anything, he was just sick of looking at us doing nothing, I guess. But it was like 1400 ++ or so just now, so we all gave it a pass. Watched lots and lots of TV; reruns of shows I have already watched (and though this is a lot out of line, I just killed a bug, yuck!).

Then, in the evening, the weather was good, thank God! So, all 3 of us decided to take a walk at the park. Finally, I get to do my breeze walking. I was starting to think I’d start turning into a big, fat balloony if it kept on raining in the evenings.

The event of the day though, was that I was chased by an angry male (I think) monkey (with horrible fangs, okay!). I am not a monkey lover, but nor am I a hater. I used to wonder why people are so scared of those creatures, because as far as I am concerned, as long as you leave then alone, they won’t do you any harm. Today, I was proven to be wrong because that monkey, for no valid reason (as if they ever reason, to start of with), started chasing me for some good 50 meters or so. I was screaming like nobody’s business, and luckily there was a Chinese guy nearby. (My siblings were nowhere near, because I like to do my breeze walking alone. And I walk fast, btw).

After that, I looked back every 15 seconds I think, just in case there were any monkeys ready to pounce onto me to seek revenge. Haha. Perhaps it’s high time I looked for a new port to work out. It’s starting to give me the creeps. Haha.

Well. I got to go now. I’m tired, but as I said earlier, I can’t sleep. Perhaps I should go join my sister downstairs. And I want to go to Sg. Wang so badly. I don’t know why.

Selamat malam semua =). Malam ini sangat panas lah. Mengapa ni.