Know what I love?

Old time politically incorrect propaganda. Although it might not be right it's sure funny as hell.

I'm posting this knowing I may offend someone. I don't really care honestly. The reality is I didn't create it. But it has a laugh value. A laugh and a shock value. I just wanted to share cause it's just crazy the shit people could get away with back in the days...

Heartbreak Hotel

I am FUMING. I was eyeing this Elvis painting on ebay and literally sat at my computer to the very last second bidding... I LOST IT to probably some 60 year old bitch with sausage fingers and a delusion of The King.

Honestly I nearly cried. I really really wanted this one... BITCH i'm so upset. it's a really nice one. It had my name all over it. I really thought I was gonna win this one. I mean I NEVER lose an auction. I waited for the last 30 seconds to bid on this bitch. *grrrrr* Someone console me... I'm so upset!!!

Guess What I'm Doin Tonight?

I know I know... it's Early. Look it's AFTER thanksgiving and I say if people can trample each other running hog wild to save 50 cents *cheep mother fuckers* Than I can Decorate my tree.

It's gonna me and Chachi and My Husband and a friend. I can't wait! I love Christmas.

Decorating... Elvis's Christmas CD ... Christmas baking cinnamon smell coming from the kitchen... and a whooooole lotta wine...

Why yes, you're right I AM always drinking haha...

Life is too short

"Drink wine.. it's what remains of the harvest of youth - the season of roses and wine and drunken friends. Be happy for a moment, that moment's your life"
Omar Khayyam ~

Ahhhhkkkk Raaaabitzahhhh

My Favorite Bugs Bunny short

Thanksgiving 2008

Yesterday my nieces came over at the end of my day and rummaged through my make-up. They made sure to paint my face as well as theirs so that we were all Beautiful. After the first round of make-up they wanted kitty faces hence the one of me with the brown nose.

Here are some really great pics from those moments. Please keep in mind I was cooking and drinking all day... So I'm kinda sort of a mess...

p.s. Make-up by Mia and Chiara

This is Chiara on the right me in the middle and Mia on the left kissy faces

This is me and Mia I love these children they make me so happy


And this is Fonzie and Chachi Sox ... Here's to one more Thanksgiving good buddy.

Remember... All the Leaves are brown and the sky is Grey.

Cass Elliot

Amazing Amazing woman. One of my favorite people of her time was on the show H.R. Puff n Stuff. And if you aren't between the ages of 30 and 37 then you probably didn't watch this as a child. But it was a children's show of my day. This happens to be a moment from that show where Cass did a guest spot as one of the witches.

The message is great. There just isn't things this good anymore. Children now are taught that skanky is good ... But anyway it's really cute...WATCH THIS... I really like how it has this groovy 60s sound to it lol

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

From My Turkey Flap... HAHA... I couldn't decide which was more vulgar... turkey flap or turkey hole... both are quite impressive... *grin*

I'm thankful that all you good people enjoy me. So rather than go individually *cause I'll be here forever* Thanks to all you guys who make me laugh on a daily basis and to Jen Casual Slack. She was the reason I started this blog. I laughed so hard I knew I had to put my bizarre thoughts on paper somewhere....

I hope you all are drunk and safe just like me at this very moment.

Enjoy!

I Need to Know

I'm not the only one aside from the band members that remembers this video... Please someone... LOL... it's absolutly I think the worst shit I've ever seen...

Here ya go... Now get the fuck off my land...

Happy Thanksgiving ya'll

I Won't

Drink milk if it's over a few days opened. I'm super picky like that. It totally grosses me out. Why did I share that? I dunno... Just felt like it. I Hate milk if it's not super fresh and I hate Milk in the morning. It makes me over full...

Ahhhh

Gift Wrapping... Delilah... and Bacrdi... Christmas gets no better than this

It's been SUCH a Long Day

I can't even wait. I have to get a beer before I go home.

15 minutes kids...

BIGGEST Pet Peeve

This happens to me almost daily. I swear I could go on a shooting spree... I HATE when my sleeve gets wet. The bathroom sink... My coffee... Beer... Doesn't matter. If I'm wearing a sleeve you can bet it's gonna get wet and I'm somewhere that I can't change it.

I should just cut all my shirts to 3/4 and call it a day.

Coming to Broadway

Lady Elaine branches out of Trolly Town breaks free of Mr. Rogers to Bring this children’s favorite to life right in your own back yard.

The New York Post raves “From Rogers to Righteous… This show has promise!”

The New York Times hails “If you see one show this year Lady Elaine gives you more Chitty Chitty Bum for your Buck”

The Daily News Sings “From Bum to Chum The Lady Elaine Story.. A must see! ”

With such songs as “When you think I’m not looking I am”

“A Post for A Bumchum”
“To Lose then Accuse”

And Only on opening night… Do Not miss her special Duet with

Clay Aiken

“Lady Man and Yes I am”

Tickets go on sale December 4th. Advanced tickets for opening night December 2nd.

Don’t Miss it!

For Jen

Thanks for always bein My Good Buddy... You're the bestesest !!!

Seriously ... I want to thank Brad for making my husband the "Trans-Siberian Ochestra" CD for my Chirstmas morning car soundtrack. That was a very sweet thing of you to do. I could strangle ...

Why don't you burn us Michael Buble' or Josh Grobin...

In Typical Kid Fashion

I ate too much ice cream after dinner and gave myself a stomach ache.

I woke up at 2 am and totally hurled.

Did I mention this is shit a 7 year old does?

Honestly... there was no reason to eat that much ice cream... I'm still feeling sick

So last night I’m up watching Rocky 4. It’s my favorite one cause there’s so much ridiculousness in it.

#1. James Brown is singing Living in America. Come on… you knew that black dude acting like a buffoon was gonna get killed.

#2. More than enough bad 80’s ‘power’ music you can shake a stick at

#3. Rocky trains in Russia in the snow by pulling a rickshaw with his wife and brother in law on it.

#4. Ivan Drago is hot.

#5. He climbs a mountain and yells “Draaagooooooo”

All I’m saying is… I’m pissed. It really annoyed me. NO WAY can Rocky beat Drago… C’mon. Seriously. It’s totally ludacris. At one point Drago says “He’s like a piece of iron” doubting himself? This is coming from Mr. “I Must Break You”

NO WAY.

Now way Rocky could beat this guy EVER and No way this 6ft 4 Russian is doubting himself. Not to mention 12 rounds? 12? Please. Don’t even get me started. I always find myself yelling Goooo Dragoooo!!!!

P.S. it was an amazing night for tv. When there were commercials I would flip the “last” button to this:

p.s.s…. this is Soooooooo my costume next Halloween… Nooooo Wire Hangerrrrssssss !!!

FANTASTIC

Becuase I wasn't satisfied this weekend I started messing with the html on my blog page and guess what is missing??????

my flippin Blog roll. I am so not happy about this. it's going to take me forever to fix that. Great. Happy Monday

Super Sexy

Chachi and I were discussing 'Our first Crushes' it took me a minute cause like a messy closet I had to go back into the depths of my head to when I was a child.

And here he is:


I remember seeing this in the movie theaters and not even able to contain the overall Crush I had for this guy. I mean every time it came on TV I wanted to die. Honestly? Every time I see this movie *it was on last night* I still sigh like a little girl. I was probably 6 or 7 ... He's beautiful I mean that's not even a good enough word for it... *sigh* and who do they get to play Louise Lane?


Are we serious? They could have gotten someone much much younger. Oh say maybe my age at the time lol... No but seriously. I never thought she was a good Louise Lane. There's just something about her I don't really like. And this is not just Jealousy speaking... or it might be...

I say they should have cast me and be done with it.


Chachi's Numero uno was Leah Thompson

I can see why. She's beautiful in that 'Girl Next Door' kind of way...

Who's your first celebrity crush?

BLOG SUCKAGE

HELP.

I was just over at Misunderstood Milly's page and It reminded me of how much my page sucks ass. Not the content. I mean I happen to think I'm pretty funny. *brush shoulder off* it's the page itself. I have NO idea how to spruce it up the way I like it... it's quite depressing.... seriously.

Go here: MYSPACE

This is my myspace page. Dope ain't it? Yeah I know... now compare it to this... depressing is it not????

What am I going to do short of taking a programming class?

Tonight is ...

Pizza and Pulp Fiction night at my house. My husband is from Germany he's never seen it

"Bring out the Gimp"

She'd have been even more wonderful if SHE actually believed it.

Cindy Sherman

My favorite contemporary artist next to Andy Warhol

Can't Hate Everything

I KNOW I KNOW IT'S TOTALLY LARGE

And Rediculous... but it brings me to laughter to the point of tears and stomach pains... I can't live without this skit... If you don't think this is funny there is something seriously wrong with you...

I'm aware it's covering EVERYTHING ... that's how much I love it... it's only available on this one site... you MUST watch this... I couldnt find it in a smaller size...

or maybe I'm just retarded... whatever you find it smaller ... wont happen...

Tomorrow

Wish me luck... I am nervous I don't not like being in control of my body...

Do Yourself A Favor

Watch this movie. It's Simple Humor for the Not so Simple mind. It's amazing. My stomach hurts with laughs.

I Am A Banana

Have you ever seen this? It's fucking Brilliant

Click Here

"I'm feeling fat, and sassy!"

Mah spoon is too big ... mah SPOON is TOO BIG!

I know this is going to sound insensitive but ok I don’t really care… I’m 32 years old. All my friends know I’m young I’m married. But not the traditional married. I’m an artist. A painter. My living room is generally strewn with Paint and Brushes and Canvas. I’m kind of a fun party carefree kinda gal. I’d never judge anyone. But here’s the deal…

If you are my friend you ‘know’ me. You know I worked at a club door in Manhattan. You know I’m still twenty some at heart… You especially know I do not have babies nor do I care to anytime soon. I don’t have the ‘mommy’ pangs other women have at 30.

If I have to put my drink down or not sleep till noon on a Saturday I’m a cranky gal.

I am polite enough to invite my ‘married mit bebe’ friends to my party… but for the love of all that is holy… WHY WOULD YOU ASK IF YOU COULD BRING YOUR BABY TO MY PARTY?

It’s just weird to me. I don’t do ‘family’ things if I don’t have to and children kind of make my face sour. *except for my nieces the coolest twins on the planet*

Honestly… My Elvis swaree Is not the place for a newborn. There will be booze. Stupid drunk people and loud music. I swear some people have children and their brains turn to fucking apricot baby food.


Fucking A… P.S. it’s 8.31 am. I might be a touch cranky. *laugh*

Dr. Zibbs The Male Salma Hayek?

All I have to say is WHAT THE? I go out to pick up that crap I need for that stupid lunch tomorrow *mind you I nearly hurled potato salad by the end from having to make sure it was just perfect*... anyway... I come back from the super market make it and by 10 pm there are a harem of women that flocked here... Now ladies... I'm not complaining. Beautiful women are a plus. I like to see them, I like to be around them... Girls are good. But HOLY GEEZ... Dr. Zibbs has like a Bazillion Chicks! All beautiful and interesting... I've only had the pleasure of checking out a few blogs so far and I'm so entertained.

So what's all the mystery? I mean you're funny ... sure... you're one of my favorie blogs... Your comments are witty... But what is it about this Dr. that no one can resist???

NO ONE EVEN KNOWS WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE... !!!!

So ladies? I'm relying on you here... what's up with Zibbs??? I bet he's like a legend. One chick saw him once in a dark smokey club... a shadow of beauty...

Someone bumps into her...she almost spills her drink...She looks back up... and poof! He's gone... *fonzie snaps fingers* Just like that...

And every since then... He's just this legend... kind of like kaiser Sose... Yesss yes thats it... I bet you're Kaiser Sose... hahaaaaaa...

It's sad that I amuse myself this much...I'm totally cracking up *laugh*

Dr. Zibbs

You are the fucking man.

Everyone Bow to The Zibbs

*thanks for the thought

One More

I took this on the train... Last week. It was the last day I was going to see sunlight on my way home for a very long time. For some reason my phone does this really cool effect with the sun... I hate riding on the train in the dark. I hate leaving work and it's dark.

This

Won't really mean to much to anyone but me. It's the street where my house is. You make this right and i'm home. It was just a really pretty picture with all the red leaves so I wanted to post it. This right hand turn is where I named a friend and had many drunk nights stumbling home after unforgetable fun. Dragging stolen filing cabinets... and the corner I'd meet Chachi for Saturday morning brunch at the Thia and or Greek place. There are 6 months left and it won't be my walk anymore.

Ya gonna miss me Chachi?

I won't ever be too far.

This Advert

Is on a billboard by my house. Honestly? It fucks me up something serous. Look at how FREAKY this pig man is... Holy shit...

Friday was a Good Night

First me and Chachi went to my bar…and had a few too many shots then we got hungry so we went to this ice cream shop that’s been there for as long as I can remember. There are only a few places like this left in New York City.

It’s a railroad style place. Long to the end. All counter. The newest ice cream adverts in there were from 1990. Hand written by marker signs with promises of French Fries you can get nowhere else and not at that price. This place makes the BEST black and white shakes. That I’ve ordered several hundred times in 1998.

But no one ever orders inside. I know I’ve never seen it nor have I ever ordered inside. Anyway… the guy behind the counter? You know he’s been there since the place opened… We ordered French Fries and that guy handed them to us his hand was shaking. Talk about old.

Then we walked across the street and parked out butts on the ground. And ate our amazing fries drowned in some supposed to be cheese and ketchup. It was an amazing soup. Sitting on that pavement made me feel like home again. Now that NY has changed… Only for the rich and tourist all the good ‘little’ things are almost gone … unchanged by the eye of the average… THIS was the one thing Money, tourism, hipsters… they can’t take away from me.

We sat on the pavement by the park at night and enjoyed our fries. The 2 good things still left in what’s become of this city. Sharing the pavement with a good friend like the punks and squatters once did… and the French fries not yet closed down due to high rent.

I cherish Old New York.

Ja Ja Ja

So tomorrow I have this thanksgiving luncheon at work everyone is asked to bring something. We do it every year and it ends up being a whole bunch of food in the trash by the end… *eye roll* Anyway… I am bringing my husband’s German potato salad. I was originally going to post about the potato salad… but I found this picture

It reminded me of a time when I was in Germany at some fest. They have them all over… it’s like October fest but it’s everywhere at different times of the year. Germans gather together and in traditional German Garb sit at long wooden benches eat pretzels and drink giant mugs of beer under a big tent with a band. It gets crowded. So one of these and I had to pee… I was making my way through the drunken havoc and German men swinging these back and forth and slamming them on tables.

I kid you not… it’s like every German stereotype I’ve seen in cartoons when I was little… Anyway… as I’m walking… One swing and BANG… someone HITS ME in the face with one of those mugs. IN THE FACE. Literally right above my eye. Like my eyebrow bone. I’m not kidding I just grabbed my face and nearly fell over. The guy was spurting shI*t in German must have been sorry I’m sorry but I had no idea what he was saying I just was hunched over with one hand on my face and the other kind of out in front of me… I swear to you… It's true.

You do see stars like the old time cartoons.

There’s one for Myth Busters.

A Fonzie Thought...

It's difficult trying to stay thin ... It's difficult to try and keep beautiful...

It means you have to work twice as hard as the other gal... Sometimes it feels like the whole world loses weight in the blink of an eye and I have to break by back... ugh... so frustrating sometimes...

vent vent grumble vent...

For Brad

This Gruel's for you...

Ok... Call me Shoe Whore

I bought these too... They are fucking hot. I had to...

WHY???????????

DO THEY NEVER HAVE MY SIIIIIIIIZE?????????????? Oh my God I could cry right now. That's it... this will be my mission today... Project Christmas Shoe in full fucking effect

Rockabilly

I'm gonna pull a Chachi and post my music this morning...

It snowed for the first time this season today. Ok not quite this drastic but it was nice. The sky was white and it was the kind that just barely sticks then melts. My favorite kind. That kind of snow always reminds me of a moment I had with a friend of mine a handful of years back.