Educational deficiencies

"Look! This is a student's answer in an exam. Education is in shambles!"

"That seems to be the case. You were never taught what a representative sample is."

Equation

"So, R* is the star formation rate, fp is the fraction of stars that have planets around them, ne is..."

Multiplication

"Four rows of three loaves. Four times three... Twelve loaves!"

"Excellent, rabbi! Now try with the fish."

A story about camels

"Once upon a time there was a sheikh who owned seventeen camels. On his death bed, he told his three sons to divide them this way: one half of the camels for the elder, one third for the second son, and one ninth for the youngest.

"The princes argued and bickered for several days. They were very confused because they couldn't find a way to split the herd as their father had ordered. But then a wise old man came riding a camel and said:

"'All this business with princes and primogeniture is a reflection of an archaic, unjust society. But that is over!'

"Next, he jailed the brothers for being counter-revolutionary oligarchs and seized the camels for the people."

"I like how my other grandad tells it better."

"Bah! That petty bourgeois."

Ad absurdum

"Many believe all atheists are jerks who don't respect other people's beliefs. This is not just unsopported opinion. It can be proven! Suppose there exists at least one atheist who respects other people's beliefs. Well, this atheist is disrespecting the belief that atheists don't respect other people's beliefs. Quod erat demonstrandum.

Theorem

"Let E be the set of everything that exists. If God exists, He is a member of E. We know that E has many other members. It follows that E is greater than God. Therefore, if God exists, He is not the greatest."

"Don't lose sleep over this, brother Ambrose. Set theory is only a theory after all."

Bioethics

"That's right. We were trying to genetically engineer a Homo mathematicus, a human being with an intuitive grasp of chance and probabilities. But some people said that we were doing something immoral and had us shut down."

"Religious groups? Human rights organizations?"

"Lottery vendors."