Smoke

"Yes, I noticed the sign. Why do you guys keep it posted? It's obviously wrong."

Understanding

"I can't understand non-believers. How do you people deal with the hopelessness of a life without God?"

"I can't understand non-smokers. How do you people deal with the anxiety and lack of concentration?"

Additive

"Bad news, boss. Consumer advocacy groups are claiming we put substances in our cigarettes to make them addictive."

"Again? What are they saying we put in them now?"

"Tobacco."