Aphids

Snails

Bite

"Aaahh! It bit me!"

"Quick! Drink this green tea and do some tai chi to get rid of the toxins!"

Animals

ANIMALS ARE NOT PEOPLE. DON'T ANTHROPOMORPHIZE THEM.

Monstrous

"Help you? Why should I help you? You people are monsters!"

"I told you! He was bitten by an alien mutant spider!"

"Sure, distance yourself from him. 'No true Scotsman' and all that."

Railing

"Some people have stubbed their toe on this railing! It's a public danger!"

"We demand its immediate removal on safety grounds!"

The limits of science

"Professor! You are playing God!"

"I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children."

Theoretical model

"Assuming that human beings are rational economic actors whose decisions are oriented towards maximizing their profit according to a clearly-defined self-interest, I have come to the conclusion that there is no sounder investment than a spherical cow farm."

Three little pigs

Cryptid

"Yes, these are definitely cat hairs."

"I see."

"Science says the hairs found don't come from a bear, a wolf or a fox.

"ENIGMATIC CREATURE"

Manners

"Good afternoon, gentleman. I am letting you know that from now on you will be required to wear this collar and walk on all fours, if you are kind enough."

"Don't listen to him! You are a human being, damn it! Not a dog!"

"He was respectful. You should learn."

"Don't talk, please. Just bark."

In vivo

"Animal testing shows that this drug causes mutations. Therefore, its use is not advisable."

Cold

"It's so cold today! So much for that 'global warming' stuff, huh?"

"So much for that 'flying birds' stuff, huh?"

The same

"Yes, I am against wolves. And against livestock guardian dogs, too, that are just as bad. Don't you agree?"

Individual freedom

"Why, yes, I firmly believe in freedom for the individual."

"I wanted to discuss that, boss. You see, about my having to wear this to not be fired..."

"I am totally free to establish that condition. You don't intend to restrict me, do you?"

Horus

"Horus was born on December 25th from a virgin!"

"That's not true."

"Horus died and was resurrected!"

"Stop it!"

"Horus had twelve disciples!"

Bumblebee

"Look! A bumblebee! Did you know that, according to scalculations by scientists, bumblebees can't fly? Of course, since bumblebees don't know that, they just keep on flying happily."

"That is an urban legend. When you use the right aerodynamic approach, the bumblebee's flight is perfectly accounted for."

"Oh, so scientists say that bumblebees can fly. What geniuses they are! Will they figure out that water is wet next?"

"Get him, bumblebee! Get him!"

The experiment

This cartoon features cameos by the winners of Cook Jesus Day:  Silvia, Julio and Doctor Mapache (“Doctor Raccoon”).

"The opening mechanism will be activated as soon as we exit this room. The decay of a very small radioactive sample will determine whether the cage opens or remains closed. According to the Copenhagen interpretation, the raccoon will then be both free and locked at the same time. The free-raccoon will wander around and eventually make it to the kitchen, drawn in by the smell of the coffee and brownies we'll be having. But beware! What if the system collapses into a locked-raccoon state? Then the raccoon will have never made it to the kitchen for us to see it. The wave function won't have collapsed! PARADOX! Is that possible? There's only one way to know!"

"Were these budget figures necessary for that?"

"This experiment could change our understanding of the universe. We can't afford to skimp on quality of coffee and brownies.

Boa

"I told you! I told you I was not a hat!" "What? What just happened?"

Shampoo

No, I didn't make it up.

"Try our horse shampoo for humans! It contains biotin that will make your hair grow stronger!"

"Actually, biotin is not absorbed through the skin. You'd have to ingest it for it to have any effect."

"Horse shampoo with biotin! If you drink it, your hair will grow strong and healthy!"