No Sunday blues on a Monday night

We got back to the marina around noon today.  I washed up the boat, went to a diesel place to get a new fuel pump, and came home to take a 2 hour nap. It doesn't seem like a Monday at all.  I used to get those Sunday evening blues when I knew that Monday was coming.

I wanted the weekend to continue because it was the time that I could get things done that I really enjoyed.  Now, when I look back on my working days, I wonder at how short the time was between Friday evening and Sunday night.  It doesn't seem like enough time to recharge before going back to work.  I'm often amazed at all the multi-tasking I did when I was still working full time.  And I'm still multi-tasking, heaping more things to do on my plate, but I have to say that I am greatly enjoying just about everything that I do now.  

One of the new projects that I am thinking about doing is to photograph those who are down and out in this town.  I was inspired to read what Chris Arnade did in his photo documentation of the Faces of Addiction.  I have talked to a fellow I know who works at the city homeless shelter and am going to write a proposal to do a project in which I photograph those who will agree and write about their story.  I'm not sure where this will be going other than to let the photos and their words tell their own story.  Perhaps it will be possible to do an exhibit at some point.  Right now, this is an idea that I feel compelled to explore.

I have also wanted to document the people of the Lowcountry Sea Islands and tell a bit of their story.  I see this as a vanishing culture in the South.  Development of the islands is happening at a rapid rate, so much so that many of the old ways will likely die out.  Once again, theirs is a story worth telling through photos and words.

In the midst of these ideas, comes an old nemesis:  Am I good enough to do this work?  I'm not professionally trained, but I know that I have a good eye. But is that enough?  There are so many talented photographers here.  Yet, I am going to forge ahead and see what comes of this idea.  I may not be the best, but I have a desire and determination.
 

Dreams

Art walk on Friday night was so cool.  ran into some friends and got a chance to catch up.  Downtown was breezy and surprisingly cool.  We only went into three galleries, but there was much to see.  I thought that there was some world class art.  Very inspiring. I feel as if I would like to start painting again.  But I would need to start from scratch.  I haven't done any painting since the early days of graduate school.  I have my old kit but doubt if any of it is any good.  A lot of excuses about not doing it, but there is an awakened passion for doing it.  More will be revealed, I'm sure.

Yesterday, it rained and was a good soaking rain.  The garden is still yielding tomatoes and eggplants. I will get out there and weed this week.  With the raised beds, it isn't as much of a chore as it would be with rows on the ground. 

I went to an open AA meeting last night and Appendix II--Spiritual Experience from the Big Book was read and discussed.  It is no coincidence that the Al-Anon meeting on Thursday was about having a spiritual awakening.  I cannot remember reading Appendix II before.  But reading "Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery" sure says it all. 

I have been having a lot of dreams lately about my wife and my father.  They are both drinking or drunk.  I am looking for them and have to search and search until I find them in a bar.  I have had these dreams before, and they are unsettling.  I awake and shake off the feeling of the dream.  But having these dreams night after night up until this weekend suggests anxiety in my subconscious. 

And there are other dead relatives in these dreams as well.  All sitting around or walking in and out of rooms. What are they trying to tell me?  One morning I awoke and thought, "Is this the transition to death for me?".   I don't think that it is, but such dreams are so real that they are unsettling.  I remember my mother telling me a couple of days before she died suddenly about her dream of dancing with my father.  Her dream was a happy dream, filling her with delight.  These dreams of mine were not happy but filled with angst and seeking.  I am glad that for now, my dreaming mind is free of them. 

We are off to do some things about town.  Maybe we will go to see a movie about the loggerhead turtle later.  The day is ahead, and it appears to be full of promise.  Hope that yours is also.

Friday thoughts

Lots to do today.  We are going to the art walk tonight which happens on the first Friday of every month. Lots of local talent in various galleries.  Gas lit street lamps and cobblestones.

The heat wave continues.  Yesterday, the heat index was 122 F.  There was a breeze, but it was packed with heat and humidity.  Maybe the tropical storm will send some rain and cloud cover this way.

The meeting topic yesterday was on having a spiritual awakening.  Mine came gradually--no lightening bolt moments.  I do believe Step 12--"Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps....."  As a result of the steps, not as a result of going to meetings, reading books but actually doing the work with a sponsor who has a sponsor.  Now I know that the "Ah-hah" moments are not coincidence but my HP working.

Trying to figure out what to do during the day this weekend to beat the heat while staying on an un-airconditioned boat at the marina for the night.  Maybe Barnes and Noble or the public library to sit and read, or a movie.  I am sure that something will come up that will be a solution. 

Working on information on horseshoe crab to share in an article.  Fascinating critters that have been around for millions of years.  And we humans could not do without their blood from which is extracted cells that are used to test for bacterial contamination in medical devices and injectable drugs. Horseshoe crab blood coagulates in the presence of minute quantities of gram-negative bacterial endotoxins. Known as the LAL test, it is currently the worldwide standard for screening medical equipment for bacterial contamination.  No other known procedure has the same accuracy as the LAL test.  I hope that they remain with us in spite of our using their blood and messing with their habitat.


Have a good Friday.  I am off to start my day.

From Madame X to hard crack

I have been involved in a cookie marathon.  It really started Saturday with the making of the dough.  I didn't really participate much in that other than to wash up and clean up after the cookie dough was assembled.

Then, there was a break to go to a nice party across the river.  Mostly boat people were at this party--those who live on boats, have lived on boats, and have cruised boats.  And the boats were mostly sailboats. We exchanged stories and talked about engines, stuffing boxes, sails and decks.  The beach house where the party was held had an eclectic assortment of art, furniture, and rugs.  I was particularly captivated by a reproduction of John Singer Sargent's Portrait of Madame X.  It is one that has captivated me for years because the Madame reminds me of my mother, without the aquiline nose. 

 

So after that respite on Saturday evening, it was back to cookie/candy making yesterday.  We made peanut brittle first which required heating the ingredients to weld temperatures.  I was the stirrer and the candy thermometer holder, brave soul that I am.  C. just gave me orders to keep stirring which I did for fear of an explosion the size of Chernobyl in the bubbling cauldron.  Anyway, after what seemed like hours, the "hard crack" stage finally came at 305 F.  And then with little ado, the whole mess was spread out on a buttered marble slab to cool.  The result was spectacularly good.

So then we did some easy stuff with these little holly berry cookies.  I had a light weight job of dumping spoonfuls onto the cookie sheets.  They turned out to be really decorative and not too bad for being a sticky mess of marshmallows and corn flakes.

Next came the most challenging part of the marathon--baking and decorating dozens of sugar cookies. We chose mostly Christmas shapes from the old cookie cutters--stars, snowflakes, trees, holly, and crescent moon.  C. rolled the dough and cut out the cookies.  I moved them from the rolling table to the baking trays.  In the process, we made a spectacular mess.

 But the finished product turned out to be neat.  I was assigned to be the painter of the cookies. I hope that no one finds a thick bristle hair from the paint brushes thinking that it might be human or dog hair. I did my best to pick all those bristle hairs from the brushes off the cookies, I swear!  It has been a fun, but tiring couple of days.  All except for 2 dozen cookies are iced.  When I ran out of icing, I called for a time out.  I will make more blue and yellow icing for the snowflakes and the moons.  But for now, I am sated with decorating. 

Tonight is my home group meeting.  I will take some of the finished cookies there.

Lord, I have been a man slave for a couple of days.  I wonder whether Madame X ever iced a cookie, much less baked one.  I am sure that she probably never smeared her marble top dresser with butter and spread hard crack peanut goo on it.  Oh well.....I am sure she still had a good life in spite of these deficiencies.

Thank you Jenn

Today's post is dedicated to Jenn who blogs at J-Online. While I was on my trip to Florida, I received a hand decorated package from Jenn. This package was filled with a number of thoughtful things from Jenn: a hand-decorated file box, a journal, a magnetized note pad, a package of note paper and a wonderfully done paperweight with a picture of my sail boat in it.

Jenn made an offer back in December 2008 to provide craft gifts to the first three people who said that they would like one. She posted this on December 10 and called the post Pay It Forward: http://jenn-online.blogspot.com/2008/12/tis-season.html. So I said that I wanted to do this and she made me her fourth recipient of a Jenn gift.

Here is the note that she sent:
"Syd,
As you can see, I'm not very creative. But I hope that you like it! Thank you for your friendship and support. I am grateful to have met you on line and appreciate your blog and insight. May you and your family have a wonderful 2009!
Many blessings,
Jenn"

Jenn, you are creative, and what you sent is much appreciated. Thanks for your kindness and the goodness of your heart.

So it's my turn to pay it forward. And because Jenn did four, I'm going to do four also. Let me know if you want something craft like from me. I say "craft like" because I'm not sure what I'm going to send but it will be something that reflects the culture of the Lowcountry of South Carolina. The first four to respond will get the deal.

I may not be as creative as Jenn but what is sent will come with heartfelt good wishes.

Oh, and email me your address so that I know where to send your gift. Mine is on my sidebar.

Something to think about

I was inspired by an email comment from Mama PJ about a post that she had written with regard to where we find God. It seemed to me that God is found in so many things that we tend to take for granted. The more obvious beautiful things that surround us clearly bring to mind a power greater than ourselves.

Yet, there are many ways to see beauty: the mathematician who sees beauty in differential equations; the artist who sees it in the lines of a human body; the musician who feels it in a vibrato, etc. I think that beauty is all around us if we just stop to look for it. And it occurs in many unlikely places. The following is a story that brings this to mind.
__________________________________________________________________
A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule. A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk. A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother hurried him along, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The objectives were:

In a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour,
Do we perceive beauty?
Do we stop to appreciate it?
Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

Here is the complete article.

Back to work

The holiday weekend was nice. I wasn't near a computer which didn't bother me surprisingly. I missed out on a lot of blog reading so I'm hoping to get caught up on that.

After picking up Compass Rose, I did some work on getting everything put back in her. There was a bit more electrical work to do as well. I had planned to put her in the water but decided to replace the old cleats with stainless steel. All of this took much of Saturday and Monday. Although I had planned to get her in the water this weekend, I didn't think that rushing to get it done was going to be a good idea. And the number of boats that were on the water on Memorial Day was a real deterrent. Every landing was filled to overflowing with cars and trailers.

On Sunday, I went to an outdoor art exhibit downtown and enjoyed seeing works by local artists. It's festival time in town so there is a lot going on. And the place is overrun with tourists. It was fun though to walk down the street and see so many people enjoying the sights and sounds of the old city.

Today, I'm back at work but heading out to catch a plane for a meeting in MD. I think that it's time for a gratitude list after this glorious weekend. So here's my thoughts on what I'm grateful for:
1. That my memories don't include anyone close to me who has died in a war
2. That there is so much beauty around me that it's hard to express it all in words
3. That my emotional wounds weren't enough to kill me
4. That my sponsor is back safely from a trip out of town
5. That I don't feel as if I need to "fix" anybody today

Hope that you are enjoying your work week. I'll check in later with each of you.

"Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time. " Thomas Merton

About art

I hung the painting by Reuben Becker last night. It's the one of the tree on the upper left in the photo above. Becker was one of the unique people who lived in solitude on Smith Island. He was married for a while, has a daughter and a son, came out "of the closet" , became known for his paintings about Smith Island and Chesapeake Bay, and died coming down the steps of his loft in his old house at Ewell.

His partner, Hoss Parker, brought some oysters over for me to roast and asked us to come over to his house to see Reuben's paintings. The studio has been preserved just as it was. Hoss has sold a few paintings in order to live. I bought two of them. One is a sketch of a lighthouse and the other is the tree scape above. Hoss makes all the frames from old pieces of lathing taken from falling down houses on the island. He sells them too cheaply and acknowledges that. But I guess that the economy there isn't good, especially since crabs and oysters have been declining for years.

Meeting Hoss, seeing the studio, and all the artwork in Reuben's house was really neat. I have quite a bit of art. It seems that art and books are those things that I look for when I go into someone's home. Something seems to be missing when there aren't either. I know not to judge but it seems as if a home without these items seems too bare and without much soul.

I want to get back into painting again when I retire. At the moment, I exercise my love of art through collecting and through photography. I drag my camera with me wherever I go. It may not capture all that my eye sees but it definitely provides a lot of enjoyment by helping me remember those special people and places that I encounter. I like what Tolle says about true artists. I don't know whether I am that or not but do know that when I'm painting or messing with photography, I am absorbed and content. Here's hoping that you have a weekend of inner stillness.

"All true artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place of no-mind, from inner stillness." Eckhart Tolle

Staying busy

After sinking into a few sad moments yesterday, I decided that I'd better work my program and stay busy. So I've managed to do a day trip to one of the islands to the south, go to an AA meeting tonight and maybe take a walk on the beach afterwards. I talked with my sponsor who thought it would be good to keep busy so that I didn't have time to focus on others but could keep the focus on myself in a positive way.

One of the things that Ive been needing and lacking lately is sleep. So last night after walking the dogs and taking care of things around the house, I had some quiet time to read and then turned out the lights. It felt good to wake up refreshed this morning and see the woods through the window. The dogs were eager to go out for their walk so we did that. Now I'm going to put a few things in the car and hit the road for the day.

I always take along my camera just in case there is something that I want to photograph. It's a good hobby and one that I especially enjoy. I spend my professional life being very analytical but there is the artistic side that is always there and comes out through my writing and photography. One of my goals is to have a showing of my photographs next year. I think that I have enough now for a show but want to go to a few different places in the area and find a few more characters to photograph. Wishing the best to all of you for the day.