I am Anti Meme

meme - n. A unit of cultural information, such as a cultural practice or idea, that is transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another.

While a lot of bloggers participate in the crazy world of meme's I chose not to, simply because I consider it too much work. I was tagged last week by Collette at My Babcia's Babushka and I must politely decline to list 7 of my personality traits and tag 7 more saps to do the same. No offense Collette, I decline everyone that tags me. The only meme I half heartily participated in was Diesel's Retarded Meme and that's only because it has purpose and meaning. His goal is to be the #1 retarded site on the Internet and when that happens I like to know I played a small part in that achievement.

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The boy fixed my computer, I knew there was a reason we had him. So I can get back to my commenting and answering comments and posting and FaceBooking. The hell with the housework I was forced to do while the computer was down.

"We don't have power, the cars in the garage and it's electric, so we can't get out."

Occasionally a sentence you hear from a breaking news interview on the radio sticks with you and you have to share it, make fun of it and then blog about it. After a storm blew through Northeast Ohio Monday, several communities found themselves without power, ours just went out for a minute then everything came back on except my computer, I'm using the husband laptop until Boy #3 fixes mine, cross your fingers with me.

Tuesday morning I'm listening to the radio and hear something stupid, "We don't have power, the cars in the garage and it's electric, so we can't get out."

Seriously read it again, "We don't have power, the cars in the garage and it's electric, so we can't get out."

Doh!

Even I know how to get out of the garage when the powers out. Apparently this guys meandered along in life without knowing the rope that hangs from your garage door opener can disengage the electricity and render it a manual garage door like in the olden days. I hope he doesn't try to use that on his boss.

Besides a computer with a blue screen we have a tree down in the yard. The husbands stoked about it though, he gets to use the trailer he bought for his John Deere. Now on Saturday he will drag the boys out to the yard and chain saw stuff, load his trailer and haul stuff. He's also been waiting for a good strong wind to knock down some dead tree limbs that he can't reach. Not wanting to pay someone to remove them and unable to reach them at the top of his ladder while swinging a shovel at them he's been waiting for Mother Nature to take care of them. They survived the storm and the perfectly good tree cracked off about half way up. Mother Nature is an indiscriminate bitch.

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My time will be limited on the computer until I can drag this kid away from his friends long enough to help his poor mother.

You're Making My Head Hurt

"I don't see why I need to learn algebra, it's not like I'm planning on being a algebratition or anything, it's retarded."
"You listen to me Boy #3, you jump through the public school systems hoops and get your diploma, you can only get so far in life fixing my computer, one of these days I might figure out all these thingamabobs, then where will you be?"

It's true the boy is invaluable when it comes to my computer. Last week I lost the sound on it, of course I realized the loss when I stopped in on Unfinished Rambler's blog. Lord knows you have to have sound when you stop there. So I clicked on his Jesus Christ Super Star, "What's the Buzz", YouTube video - no sound. Immediately I thought, "Huh, what's wrong with UR's blog?"
I had the option to totally ignore the video or go to YouTube to see if I had a problem. The option you see, to go through the weekend in ignorant bliss or find that song and firmly place it in my head, to randomly pop into my brain at any given moment.

"There's no sound on my computer, would you fix it?"
"Well did you .....different language, different language, different language, different language."
"No, how to I do that?"
"Just go to ......different language, different language, different language, different language."
"Can't you just do that, you're making my head hurt. And I see that look, don't think I don't see that look. This is a totally different situation, I already have my high school diploma. You need to know algebra for when you have kids of your own and they need help with algebra homework. See. I didn't pay attention and it cost me tutors for you. There's no way you can turn this around on me. Now fix mommy's computer so I can get a song stuck in my head."

How Things Get Done

Throughout almost 23 years of marriage I’ve learned how to get things done. Maybe I should say, how to get the husband to get things done. I throw him into the situation that I’m unhappy about. It’s how I got my windshield wiper fixed. I strategically parked my car behind his and told him just take my car one morning. I had my windshield wipers fixed the next day. Now I want a new internet connection, muahaha!

Really, the only time the husband uses our home computer is to quickly look something up or to do ours and the boys taxes. Ours are done, he came out of my little office commenting on how slow my computer is. “Yeah.” I replied, “I still can’t get into the cpanel of my new blog yet.”

“We need to look into a new internet hook up.”

BINGO!

See how that works?

Today my search for high speed internet began. Clicking around the internet I found a chance to bid on Charter High-Speed® Internet services for life at an online auction that starts March 12, 2008. You have to register to be able to bid and you can also register to win a Nintendo® Wii™.

Click Here for a Chance to Win a Nintendo® Wii™!

I’ve watched people play a Nintendo Wii before but never tried it myself. It looks like fun. The bidding for the Charter High Speed Internet starts off at $10.00 on March 12, 2008, it will be interesting to see what it goes for.

A Concentrated Effort to be Social

I made a concentrated effort to be more social this past weekend. I got called in to work Friday evening and had to smile at people for 5 hours. It was tough because I was bitchier than usual Friday. The rest of the weekend I decided I needed to get out of the house and away from the computer. I'm having conversations with my computer, that can't be right. I'm afraid the family will find me one day locked in my office, talking to the computer that is sporting a new blood, red hand print on the screen. I haven't named the computer yet, but was thinking of Dell. Yeah, I needed to get out.
Saturday the husband and I spent more time together than usual. We took an hour trip to visit his older sister, then back to visit his mom that lives with his younger sister. Sunday we went to the Cleveland Cavs Basketball game.
We were in the car a lot this weekend and when stuck together without TV, we get into in depth conversations. Politics, history, life after death, religion, the boys, my broken windshield wiper, the leaky faucet and how cute our dog is. I think we covered it all this past weekend.
This post is coming to conclusion now, because Dell is telling me we need to check our emails and the dog is telling me we just check them. I have to go settle this argument.

Bloggers I have a Problem

I've been swearing like a drunken sailor since yesterday morning. There is something wrong with my computer. It's running way too slow. The geek can't get past the fact that we have a wireless connection and he blames everything on that. So he's no help. I have defragged, tossed my cookies and ran a Norton Anti-Virus scan. What else is there? Does anyone have advice?

Pragma Telnet Server

The husband unknowingly opened a virus on his computer at work and affected the whole office. “Are they going to fire you?” I asked. “No, it was nothing I did. We’re looking into Pragma Telnet Server.” He explained to me that Pragma Systems can help business with security in their network which will help them to be more productive. “Well as long as you’re not fired.”

Bring That Portable Scanner Home

The other day my mom found a picture of herself when she was a little girl and she was sitting on her father’s lap. It’s a black and white photo, a little wrinkled and faded, I could tell it meant a lot to her. She asked me, “Can you put this in your computer?” Mom is not very computer savvy, in fact she’s anti-computer. My parents don’t have a computer in their house. I had to try and explain to her scanning. Then once her eyes glazed over I gave up.

My husband keeps telling me about the latest technology at work and it’s hard for me to keep up, so I can imagine how my mom feels. A portable scanner is what he’s been talking about recently. It’s 14 ounces and you can carry it around with your laptop. And it wouldn’t take up much space on your desk either. It has 600 dpi resolution, huh. That would be great for photos. I asked him, “How far up on the list of people at work are you for getting one of those scanners?” He gave me one of those looks. “What, it’s portable, forget it’s in your briefcase one night.”

Arm Yourself With Information

I was checking the history on my computer after Boy #3 got off and it appears my little darling was looking up information on .... protecting your computer from spyware. He’s such a geek. But he’s going to be very useful around here. I have to find him a geek school. I found an article on the history of the internet, how to speed up my computer, it’s nice to find information like this so when something goes wrong with my computer I am armed with at least some knowledge and I don’t get that sinking, dreaded, panic feeling in my stomach. You know when all the blood drains out of your head and you say, “Dear God, what do I do know?”