Penat!

It's hard for being a single mom. Penat! Sangat penat actually. Salute those who survive very well with the kids. Oh no! Don't misinterpret it. Am just acting as a single mom as my husband is not able to go out alone at the moment. He's temporarily an OKU. Pernah je sabar hilang batasnya sebab kena buat semua sendiri. Anak-anak pun kekadang malas nak nolong. Lagi mak hangen! Tengah praktis nak kuatkan sabar ni.

Kronologi accident involving him:
May 10
Dia ada jamboree kat Taman Botani Negara Shah Alam kat Bukit Cerakah. I tengah bersiap nak pergi jenguk Kakak when someone rang the house bell. Abang yang pergi tengok and cakap ada orang perempuan nak jumpa Ibu and nak cakap pasal Babah. Masa tu dalam fikiran just ingat dia punya skandal datang nak confront ke apa.(Bini punya imaginasi memang over!) Sekali masa keluar nak tengok, rupanya Kak Ros, wife pada geng basikal dia. Kak Ros tanya, "Lalol ada call? Ezzah ada dapat news apa-apa?" Masa tu dah pelik kenapa Kak Ros tanya soalan macam tu. Then dengan muka blur cakap kat Kak Ros, "Takde plak." Lepas tu Kak Ros cakap "Lalol accident, dah dibawak ke hospital dengan ambulance tapi Kak Ros tak tau hospital mana and tadi dia tak sedar. Abang suruh datang bagitau." I was like.................... (dunno how to describe) Pastu Kak Ros ada tunjuk satu gambar dalam group MTB club dia.

Masa tengah tengok gambar tu ada call from his number tapi bukan dia yang cakap. Ijat, our neighbour yang ajak dia ke jamboree tu yang call cakap dia dekat Accident and Emergency DEMC. Ijat macam controlled gile nak bagitau news tu. Dah tau hospital mana, I whatsapp his family group mintak tolong Abang Jali(abang sulung dia) pergi ke hospital dulu sebab rumah Abang Jali dengan hospital dekat sangat. 2 minit kot dah sampai hospital. Then whatsapp Cu mintak ambikkan Kakak and bawak ke hospital sebab memang Kakak dah tunggu Ibu dia nak datang. Then I informed my Gedix friends and also Kurik Kendi gang. Eda baca message tu terus called and asked me to wait for her. Itu yang entry before this I already blogged about it.

This was when I first saw him. Masa tu member nangis mintak maaf bagai sebab dia tau I was reluctant to let him go that morning sebab dia dah tau Kakak suruh pergi sekolah and he asked me to drive by myself dengan Iman tu. Iman tu kalau ngamuk nak susu, mana tau sabar ke apa. Dia nangis masa cakap dengan Abang gak sebab dia punished Abang, tak kasi Abang pergi Skate Park that week sebab Abang ada tak pergi sekolah sehari before that.

Then orthopedic datang cakap kena buat surgery nak masukkan rods, plates and screw esoknya pada femur fracture tu. Sebelum tu orthopedic buat procedure untuk ikatkan kaki dia nak luruskan tulang. Then orthopedic said this is considered major surgery since it's involving femur yang tampung body weight. After setting up the surgery next day, terus diorang uruskan admission. We actually eligible for single room aje tapi tah camana dia ditolak ke executive room. Tu yang dapat bilik besar gabak siap dengan fridge and safe box. Jauh beza rege single room and executive room ni wei and alhamdulillah rezeki, room dibayar single room rate.

Abang and Adik balik dulu petang tu dengan his friend. Ramai sangat kawan dia yang datang and I couldn't remember sapa actually yang sent Abang and Adik. Baby, Iman and I were sent by his brother, Anong dekat pukul 11pm gak. Malam tu his nephew, Boboi yang temankan dia.

May 11
Lepas antar Baby ke sekolah, Iman ke taska, terus siap-siap ke hospital. Dalam pukul 11:45am gitu, dia ditolak ke OT. Lama jugak baru dia ditolak keluar dari OT. Dalam pukul 3:45pm baru dia ditolak keluar tapi I can't spend so much time with him masa tu since nak kena uruskan makan anak-anak yang baru balik sekolah at 4:30pm tu, nak ambik Iman lagi. Dekat pukul 5 gitu I blah and Kak Mai, his sister yang tunggu dia. Dalam pukul 6++ gitu Kak Mai sent me the message saying that he's having fever but I still need to wait for Baby to be back from her school. Lepas Maghrib baru gerak ke hospital dengan anak-anak. Masa kat hospital tu, demam dia dah kurang but dia ngadu nak kencing tapi tak boleh keluar. Kesan bius. Tried tuam dulu pundi kencing dia for an hour, still tak dapat so last resort, doctor on call pasangkan tiub tapi tah camana dia duk komplen rasa tak puas kencing which we couldn't help. Dia duk la pegang tangan abang dia, Anik tak kasi Anik balik suruh temankan dia. Masa tu nampak dia macam budak-budak yang tengah sakit and ada gak tersirap rasa marah sebab duk dengar rintihan dia berjam-jam. Ok, bini dia memang kurang sabar kalau orang buat perangai. Anik tu duk Gombak and ada anak-anak sekolah and pukul 11 tu masih layan adik dia lagi. At last Anik called Anong suruh temankan adik bongsu diorang. Anong sampai dalam pukul 12 gitu and asked me to go back with the kids but I waited till the nurse put him into sleep. Pakai pain killer paling power lah! Sebelum tu pukul 10pm dah bagi pain killer pill punya at smaller dosage tapi still dia duk meracau-racau. BP dia pun dah naik masa tu so kami mintak another pain killer, jab punya but that can only be given after 2 hours. Tu yang jadi 12++ midnite tu. Settled semua for that nite at 12:45am and I left the hospital ngan anak-anak at 12:50am.

May 12
Again, lepas settlekan Baby and Iman, baru ke hospital. Masa saya sampai, Dr Mahamud, his orthopedic tengah buat ward visit. Dia mengadu pasal problem kencing dia so Dr Mahamud kata kita bukak tiub and tengok boleh kencing normal ke tak. Tak lama lepas tu dia boleh kencing sendiri. Oh! He couldn't get up from his bed yet and he was using uriner since day 1 in the hospital. Dia tadah, lap dengan wet tissue Iman, and bini dia kena pi buang kat toilet bowl. Lepas ni kalau lupa jasa bini, harus bini ungkit cerita ni. Ahaks! Pukul 5, again I had to go back so left him alone. Ala, kawan-kawan dia tak putus-putus datang so tak risau sangat. Pulak tu dia boleh panggil nurse. Hari ni dia ada x-ray nak tengok rods, plates and screw are intact and well positioned ke tak but I missed doctor's ward visit so tak dapat nak dengar doctor's explanation. Lepas Maghrib, again I went to the hospital with the kids and he told me doctor said the rods and plates are 19cm long. Kali ni balik a bit early as Haziq, his nephew yang willing nak jaga dia malam tu sampai awal. Before 11pm I dah balik malam tu.

May 13
Same routine. And today Dr Mahamud suruh dia bergerak, cuba duduk kat kerusi, pergi toilet sendiri guna walking frame tapi dia tak boleh put any weight on his right leg. Tak boleh sentuh lantai langsung kaki kanan dia. Lepas dapat walking frame, tolong dia bangun and tengok dia guna walking frame to go to the toilet. Mandikan sebelah badan dia and lap sebelah lagi sebab tempat ada stitches belum boleh kena air. Few times jugak tengokkan dia pergi toilet tu for that day. At first he was lazy to move around even malas nak gi toilet, nak kencing dalam uriner tapi nasiblah dapat bini garang. Jangan nak manja-manja sangatlah. Orang pompuan kalau ke C-section kan lagi cepat get up from bed and move around lagi cepat boleh discharge so I use the same analogy to him tapi punyalah susah nak convince. Kaki sampai sembab. Bila physiotherapist datang and suruh buat exercise, bagitau kesan kalau malas gerakkan kaki, barulah dia nak bergerak. Kata Haziq and I before that mana dia nak dengar. Grrr. Petang, as usual, balik close to 5pm. Haziq pun balik sekali masa tu. Malam tu kami tidur kat hospital anak beranak tapi lewat gak dapat tidur since last visitor balik pun dekat pukul 11pm.

May 14
I went to work as I need to be on leave again when he's discharged. Semalam doctor cakap, let's target to get you discharge by Friday. Nanti kat rumah nak kena tengok dia sesuaikan diri kat jugak. Camana dia nak ke toilet, nak makan semua tu. Sekali dalam pukul 12pm masa I nak gerak ke hospital nak tengok dia, dia cakap doctor kasi discharged. Kawan dia ada belikan walking frame tapi that item can only be delivered on Saturday so untuk these 2 days kenalah cari walking frame dulu. Mula-mula ingat nak pinjam yang DEMC aje tapi banyak cikadak lak depa tu. So I told him, let's rent from SALAM as his sister in law is working there. Alhamdulillah, ada rezeki dia. Dapat pinjam. Pukul 3 lebih jugak baru I gerak dari office untuk ke SALAM ambik walking frame and then settled the bill kat discharge department and then packing barang-barang and bawak dia turun. Oh! Bill dia tau berapa? RM15,899.90.

Yang lain tu history dah. La ni dia adalah improvement. Dah boleh angkat kaki sampai 90 degree tapi nak commute ke mana-mana by car masih susah tapi dia dah keboringan kat rumah. Kaki kanan langsung tak leh bagi any weight for at least 6 weeks and lepas tu doctor akan evaluate. Tak nak kaki tempang, harus dengar cakap doctor. Makan masih berpantang so pagi-pagi I have to bersilat kat dapur. Mana nak layan Iman lagi, mana nak masak lagi. Iman tu tau aje kalau Ibu dia takde kat sebelah dia. Sabar ajelah kan? 

My Girl

This girl is almost 8 months old. Tengok gigi dia tu. Suka nor menggigit Ibu dia la ni. Kekadang tu memang nangis lah kesakitan.

Ini budak kuat makan. Buah adalah favourite dia. She can finish an apple as her snack. This week I tried to add rice selepas beberapa attempts dia tolak. So far she has it happily and it may due to the mixture of puree in her porridge. I mix the porridge with carrot, sweet potato, dates and raisins. Nak bagi dia makan dengan normal taste selama ni. But she still likes the puree rather than solid food so terpaksalah Ibu dia pureekan jugak. Masalah dia, dia tak reti or suka minum air, I really don't know. Dulu refused to drink tapi la ni paksa jugak, adalah few sips pastu cari Ibulah. She still on breastmilk. Rezeki dia cukup lagi takat ni. Alhamdulillah.

Dia ni baru je boleh gerak ke depan last 3 weeks and after few days terus dia merangkak. Agak surprise! Her first crawling depan Pinie lak tu so Ibu dia agak over excited masa tu.:P Dia merangkak few steps pastu duduk then sambung balik. Kalau penat, nangis suruh orang angkat tapi kalau datang mengada dia tu, tak nak dia Abang and kakak-kakak dia. Depa tu dah angkat pun, still melalak lagi. Itu macam kekurangan kasih sayang Ibu lah tu. Nak suruh Ibu dukung dia. At times, memang geram dengan pe'el dia.

The Kids

The photo was taken at 12:12am last night at somewhere around the below photo.

Masa tu Adik still buat homework dia. She couldn't do earlier as a lot of visitors were inside the room. We left the hospital at around 12:50am. Seriau gak sendiri dengan bebudak je but tawakal tu a'lallah la. Alhamdulillah selamat semua. Malam ni kesian kat Adik and told her not to follow us tapi dia nak ikut gak. Hopefully malam ni dapat balik awal sikit as I am exhausted too. Bantal memanggil-memanggil je la ni as dah 2 malam tidur lambat je. Tu belum termasuk dengan rengekan Iman lagi.

Wonderful Friends

They both helped me a lot when I can't think properly. Eda came all the way from Kelana Jaya to fetch me and the kids to the hospital and Zati called and came just to be beside me. Thanks Allah for these wonderful friends that I have. Alhamdulillah.

Change

"Life can change in an instant; for good and bad, Some changes we control, some we don't. So, look for reasons to be grateful, hold your loved ones closed and remember that even grief is important sometimes."

Quote from Bimbo-Rin Ahmad

This quote is really deep for me. Remind me of someone who cried in front of me yesterday and what did I do to comfort her? I could only hug her. I was speechless listening to her and I really hope she is strong enough to face all of these. May Allah bless.

P/S: I think I can only be a good listener but not someone who can advise you on what to do. I can only lend my ears and I can give my shoulder to cry on.

Nutella Cheese Tart

My version of Nutella Cheese Tart. Tart shell beli yang ready made aje. Takde masa nak menguli bagai. Almaklumlah ada anak kecik (Padahal alasan orang pemalas! :P) I don't know it's very easy to make cheese tart before. Sideback dia cuma cost la mahal gilos.

Ini resepi filling for my own future reference :D
200g cream cheese
70g gula kastor(I think 60gm is better)
1 biji telur gred C
sedikit essen vanilla
secubit garam
nutella secukupnya - suhu bilik

Cara
1. Putar sebati cream cheese dan gula, kemudian masukkan bahan lain kecuali nutella.
2. Masukkan cream cheese dan nutella dalam piping bag yang berbeza, picit dulu sikit cheese dalam tart, kemudian isi pula dengan nutella dan tutup dengan lapisan cheese sekali lagi hingga penuh.
3. Bakar selama 6-7 minit dengan suhu 140 C atau bergantung pada oven masing-masing. Jangan lupa panaskan oven dulu.

True

This is absolutely true.