A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

1035

Turing Tests and Other Things of That Nature

Description: a series of tests conducted by a scientist and philosopher.

Text 1 on computer: "what is your earliest childhood memory?"
Reply on computer: "wow i looked thru your pictures and ur eyes are gorgeous baby u want some fuk?"

Woman: "Yeah, that's definitely a dude... "

Scientist: "This computer fooled them into thinking it was human, so it must be able to think just like we do."
Philosopher: "If it performs the same function as a mind, then it is a mind."

Text 1 on computer: "i love you, do you love me too?"
Reply on computer: "of course baby i love only you, but i'm having a problem with my visa, if you can just wire me $2000 i can sort it out and i'll be on my way to america next week"

Man: "Of course her love is real, why would you even ask that?"

Scientist: "This computer fooled him into thinking it was in love, so it must feel love just like we do."
Philosopher: "I mean, yes, if you have all the functions of love..."

Description: some ducks are quacking at a wooden duck with a tape inside playing duck noises.

Scientist: "This tape recorder inside a wooden duck has fooled the other ducks, so it must be able to think like a duck."
Philosopher: "Well, I mean, I suppose if the ducks thinks so..."

Description: a magician is sawing a woman in half on stage.
Audience member: "Wow, he cut that woman in half! "

Scientist: "This magician fooled the audience into thinking he has magic powers, that's functionally the same as really possessing the dark arts."
Philosopher: "Yeah, I suppose, functionally, that's all magic is...?"

Description: the scene from Looney Toons where the Roadrunner paints a tunnel on a wall and tricks the coyote into running into the wall.
Scientist: "The roadrunner fooled the coyote into thinking this painted wall was a tunnel, so it must be a tunnel."
Philosopher: "Hmm, I'm not sure about that one..."

Philosopher 1: "So as you can see, philosophical zombies are incoherent, and if two things are functionally identical, then they are identical in fact."
Philosopher 2: "That sounds reasonable..."

Scientist: "These philosophers fooled other philosophers into thinking the functional theory of mind is a good theory, so it must be a plausible theory of mind."
Philosopher: "Hey, wait a minute!"

My wife found some suspicious text messages on my phone, but I convinced her I wasn't cheating, therefore...

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