porpor, i miss you so much. :'(

time, people, love

After losing a friend whom i have known since primary school days, i have been reflecting alot.

I have grown to cherish the people around me more, to appreciate time more.
I sometimes think to myself, is this what i REALLY want from life?
Am i chasing after what i REALLY want?

I really miss my friend. In fact, i have been having some trouble going to sleep alone at night, because it just traumatizes me that my friend, my angelic friend had to go in such a manner.
It wasnt pretty, no it wasnt.
And the picture still haunts me, whenever im alone.

i dont know how long i will take to recover fully.
It somehow affects me alot.

I wont take long, i guess.
i need to bounce back up, for exams and all. :)

take care everyone, all my love. :D

work.

this is EXACTLY how i feel now. :(

EE!

Hello people.

Im in starbucks now, completing my EE.

Whats EE?

its my Extended Essay, sort of like a research paper. :) 4000 words. now im at 983 words! :)))

So im back in Melaka for 5 days.. KASUKMA break. yay!

not long enought tho. how i wish theres a starbucks near my college, i'll go there everyday! haha!

alrite, back to work. still waiting for a reply from my EE advisor. :D

thats it.

2 weeks break over.

Whats next?
NERD-ing period. LOL

:)

Hello, hello

Im back for 2 weeks, and 1 week has passed. :)

Havent been doing much, but will do more tomorrow. :D

Well, its been 3 years since my cousin left us, but he remains in my heart, in my prayers when i transfer merits.
I hope tht he is better off now, in a new realm of existance, and i hope he is better of there. sadhu sadhu sadhu.

:)

OK, goodnite people!

:)

I was just reading through my old blog posts, and i saw this one particular post, which really put a 'dup dup' into me.

My uncle once told me,

"Well, it may be tough but with determination, you can achieve anything. And i know u have the determination in you. Since young, you have always done things differently. I know.. and i have confidence in you."


At this time of the year, or rather during this time in IB (sem 3) im pretty stressed up.
I'm quite unstable emotionally, to tell the truth.

I keep thinking of all the 'what ifs' if i didnt choose to enter KMB.
KTJ? perhaps..
KDU? most probably..

Well, read this post. im not sure if the link works, but just try it out la. :)

goodbye everyone.
i need to lose weight. hahaha

hello!

no, no updates.

kinda MALAS.
and busy?
perhaps.

take care people, selamat berpuasa. :)

i is tired.

its 4.20 am and im still awake.. doing work.
god bless me.

helllo people

say hello to my classmates.

;)

something meaningful..

Something i took from mr oh kim leng :

 

"Apologising again and again drains our energy and eats into our emotional well being. Say “sorry” when it is due and trust that if the other party is unwilling to forgive us, then no amount of sorries will ever be enough. “Sorry” has no meaning to those who choose to hate or do not want to understand, but say it anyway if we have erred. For those who truly love you, saying it even once can be too much."

 

hello.

ok im sad.

sometimes, i do wish i can turn back time and fix things. But then again, im not God. I did not foresee this happening.

Dear friend, im so sorry i did not spend enough time to talk to you, or to ask you how things are. Although i have tried, but i guess i never tried hard enough. 

Stay strong my friend, i will always be here for you. Come back soon, coz i miss seeing your cheerful face, although inside u are hurting. I will make it better for you, i promise to try. 

Something just happened, and it struck me that at times we can be so selfish. We ASSUME that everyone else is as happy as we are, just because we ourselves are happy. But have u ever thought that your most cheerful friend might not be as happy as u think he is?


Anyway, im get pretty annoyed when people complain about their uni/college. OK, i admit that i used to be one of those, but im over that period now. Cant u try to embrace the change and live with it? The worse part is, some of these people have CHOSEN their present institutes. So why complain? Sometimes i get so annoyed i can slap someone, but i choose to walk away. =)


goodnite everyone. ;)

Staying up?

It is 3am now, and im still awake, completing my assignments.

My juniors often ask me, why do i stay up?

Well, the thing is, its not a MUST thing, but i guess when assignments start to pour in, plus with a little procrastination, then there exists a must to burn the midnight oil.

This is my life now, and i can forsee that it will be the same for the next 6 months? 1 year?

OH WELL, i'll live with it. =)

weekends!

OK, so its already Saturday night.. Sunday early morning to tell the truth.

Life so far has been ok.. not suffocating yet, thanks to the weekends. =)

Gota work on math portfolio and EE (research paper).

TOK Presentation.. =(

Im pretty lucky to have great friends everywhere, especially in KMB. My batch, my seniors or my juniors. =)

There are quite a sum i know i can trust and fall back on whenever i need them. Just wana thank them.

i will need them MORE than ever this sem. ;)

yello

Zhi wei has changed my facebook password. im glad.

anyway, its only the 2nd week of studies in sem 3 and i have so many deadlines to meet!

WorldLit
Personal Statement
Business Commentary
Maths Portfolio

Almost all are due next week.

I can drop dead anytime, with classes finishing at about 4 or 5pm everyday.

However im still embracing this chance to learn more and adapt to the changes.

i will survive. dont worry. ;)

Whats Wrong?

I, Elynn Suah, opt for English B HL, while my friends are taking English B SL.

SL as in Standard Level

HL as in Higher Level.

Since im taking 4 HL subjects (Chemistry, Physics, Mathematics and English), i will have to finish my classes at 4pm on certain days. I do not mind, because this is my choice.

However, i feel rather annoyed when my friends laugh at me for making this decision. WHY?

SO WHAT if i finish later than others? I would rather spend my time with my teachers than doze off to dreamland, and probably waste a few hours there dreaming of my prince charming. (haha!)

So yes, i think it is very inconsiderate of people to laugh at my braveness to embrace this chance to learn more and challenge myself.

DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT? 

Oh yes yes one more. As a devout Buddhist, i believe strongly in not talking bad about others. And this includes avoiding comparing religions. I mean, i find no point.
Dont we learn that every religion teaches their followers to be good? SO whats the point in comparing, and concluding which or whose religion is the best?

I believe that there is no BEST religion. To me, one is a follower of that religion because they feel that the teachings suits them well.

I dont mean to offense anyone, but yes i DO feel offended when people compare my religion with others. IF you NEED to, please ask a devout follower of that religion, or read the teachings from the correct book, not to jump to conclusions and assume.

So yes, i will stop here. ;)
good day everyone.

Exam Review Week

Well, KMB-ians should know that this is one of the most emotional week of every semester. Its the week where exam papers are returned, and people are either crying for joy, or because they are disappointed with their marks.

Today is officially the last day of the exam review week for my 2nd semester exams. I wouldnt say its entirely happy, nor would i say its entirely disappointing for me.

I have gotten my marks back, and though i have improved, i believe i can do better. 

And yes, i admit i have to work very very hard for maths. I am disappointed with myself, for making so many careless mistakes. I would have gotten a grade above the current one if i was more careful, and be listed in honour roll. But oh well, no use crying over split milk eh?

English is another disappointment too. I chose the wrong essay question. In fact i did realise my mistake, but by that time i was already in the middle of my essay, and i did not have much time left. Lesson learnt anyway. =)

I guess overall i improved, although i wont say the same for mathematics. Do i deserve praises? NO, not yet. Until i get a 6 or 7 for Mathematics, i will not be satisfied. =)

In a nutshell, I am happy, but not satisfied. 

As for now, i gota cabut to Alamanda to buy my groceries. And chill for a while. THEN, serious work comes in. EE, TOK, IA, WorldLit, PS, CV. what else did i miss? haha.

take care everyone.

Results!

Got back a few papers.

Not entirely satisfied, but i can say i improved.

=)

or was it luck? haha

New Semester

So, tomorrow i will officially start my new semester, coz today and yesterday was re-orientation.

Its only fair that i come up with new resolutions for this semester right?

Resolutions for semester 3 :

1. Finish all EE, TOK, IA, WorldLit at least 2 weeks before deadline.

2. TRY to finish all assignments given. If possible on the same day.

3. Since classes are going to finish at 5pm everyday, i should NOT sleep when i get back to my room. EXERCISE!! At least 40 mins a day. AT LEAST 4 times a week. ;)

4. DO NOT procrastinate. (Now i admit this is very very difficult!)

5. Consistent studying!! =))

6. Facebook less. Maybe should let my booboo change my password again. haha.

7. Eat more vegetables and less snacks!

8. SLEEP less! Coz there is always nescafe! hahaha.

I think thats all for this sem? ;)

wish me luck! getting back my exam papers tomorrow!! =/

good day everyone! =D

TODAY

Today is my first day of Semester 3.


I very bersemangat lor i tell u..


Had assembly. Wheee.. BUT the college is now going to ban us from blogging, about KMB and talking bad about our friends.


If we want to blog, we need to register our blog, so that our teachers can scan through first.


Hmm.. should i delete this blog? Or should i only blog at home? =)))))

OR.. should i just whine about myself here. Not touching anything about KMB or my friends here. hehe so how?

in college!

and im back in college!! =)

but feel homesick already. =(

BUT.. i wana work harder this semester! wheeeee!

my boo boo. : )

whee baby dont emo emo la ok! =)



study hard! love u! =*

cant wait

i cant believe im saying this, but i actually cant wait to be back in KMB.

First week will be emptyy.. wheeeee.. which means i can get back my bakul dobi fast! woohoo!

Am doing my world lit now.. and malay presentation. working on EE too.. about IA, gonna start on sunday coz my books are in college. =)

Have been going out alot lah this holidays. money pun tarak lagi.. but had fun baking! =)

gonna bake tomorrow when im alone at home! =)

ok back to work now, or maybe sleep?

=D

good one, bad one.

bad news :

I just lost a collegemate. She lives a few doors away from my room. She passed away on Thursday evening. She was on a class trip to Langkawi. She was on the Go Kart and her tudung tersangkut at the engine. They didnt manage to reach the hospital when she passed away in the car. May she be blessed and may she rejoice in the merits i have accrued. She will be deeply missed.



Good news :

click on picture to view. =)))))))

Birthdays! and frustration.

heyho people. =)

back to blogging, for a day. =)

today im here to vent my frustration over two issues : my 19th birthday and racism.

My 19th birthday.

My birthday fell on a Thursday this year. I had a splendid surprise in my room by my friends : Kei, Fi, Jacin, Dhania, Tesla, and Jennifer. i think there were more la but i cant remember. i was so happyyy!! coz i had a slice of choco cake, a HUGE card, and a new pyjamas! Thanks all!

The next day was great! coz i felt special! hahaha. how i wish everyday was my birthday! =)

Anyway what i wana vent about is.. i didnt have any party or celebration. Ok, yes i had it when i was back the week before, but it was a makan for my grandma's birthday, and i just 'tumpang-ed'. Come to think of it now, its so miserable. And i didnt even have a cake! all i had was a dozen of J Co doughtnuts.. and no one knew it was my birthday too. coz most of the attention and focus was on my grandma.

Call me a traditional person, but i MUST at least cut A cake on my birthday. Furthermore its my last 'teen' year of my LIFE! PLUS, my chinese and english birthday falls on the same day when im 19! how sad.. didnt get any presents except one free Carrier bag and a 7-11 watch. Didnt get any angpaus except from Zhi Wei's mum.

No, im not materialistic. And yes, i very much appreciate the presents and angpaus i got. Thank you. But i think i deserve a little more than that. After living my life for a long 19 years, this is how i celebrated my last teen year. GREAT.

='( feel like wana cry lah when talking about it. im still hurt.. and i will always be.

And to tell the truth, i actually wanted/expected a makan from someone outside of KMB. my parents/Zhi Wei/reatives/anyone esle. But...

What did i eat on my birthday? Im cant remember.. i think i ate at foodcourt ALONE for dinner. or did i eat instant food in my room? Sad eh? i know. ='(

Racism.

I think chinese educated people are racist. Ok, i may be stereotyping, but for me this is the truth. =) no offense ok.. just saying what i think.

Being in KMB has taught me to be less judgemental of the people who are different than me.

ok lah. stop here. =) thanks for letting me whine. haha

over and gone!

EXAMS ARE OVER!!

Fuh i tell you.. exam time didnt think of going home also! but right after physics paper.. i was soooooooo happy! =)

going into teachers staffroom and chit chatting.. wishing everyone happy holidays.. lol.

oh ya got back my paper 1 for chemistry and physics! dont ask! ;)

sooo.. anyway im back home. yay yay yay! but but but.. im sad la coz i actually miss my classmates and the seniors.

this is just a short update ok. =)

chao!

exams. =)

into my 3rd day of exams now..

Today was CRAZY!

Maths 1, 2 and 3 in a day. and it was difficult! well at least for me.. hehe! imagine i had no time to even drink water during maths 2!

Think i'll be lucky to manage a 5 this time. =( well anyway this is motivation. wake up call! hehe!

tomorrow will be business and friday will be physics!! then can balik!

although im excited to go home but my mind is still focused on exams.. because i am doing VERY last minute. *slaps myself*

so anyway.. good luck people! =)

exams

exam season is back!!

im extremely stressed up right now, and im getting hornier from day to day.

and the final IB exam starts tomorrow! how exciting!!

=)

ok dah.. nak buat homework now. =)

=)

hello people! im here blogging as an evidence that im not dead yet. haha!

My exams are reaching.. and hell crap people.. semester exams are like SPM! (exaggerating)

Its a Saturday and im stuck in college over the weekends. Its kinda depressing tho. 1/3 of the year 1's are away for the JPAM camp. Mine is in two weeks time. Year 2's are busy preparing for their IB exams. My roommate followed another friend home overnight. The others went home. Which leaves me here.. alone.. eating biscuits for dinner.. alone.. in my small little tiny room..



My roommate will be shifting out tomorrow.. which means D111 officially belongs to ELYNN SUAH EE HUEI. sad? a little.. happy? coz i have more space to put my stuff. i have damn alot of barang u know! haha.. prolly thts why my roomie decided to move out. ;(

well anyways..

nothing to update. Im turning nerdy. Or at least im trying to.

I'll end here lah. Heres a picture of me playing with the kids in Kampung Juminik, Cambodia. playing the 'helang dan anak ayam' game. =)

toodles, everyone! =)

whats been happening..

So.. whats been happening in my life? LOTS! haha college had Chinese New Year celebration after CNY itself.. haha it was fun.. lazy to type about it. heres a picture : THEN.. i went to Cambodia!! on a mission trip. We helped the poor people there. They are really poor.. Actually hor, i very lazy to type la.. so here are some pictures :

my departure ticket! =)

yeap. angkor wat. =)

a field filled with lotus! beautiful!

at the kampung

IB.

IB. International Baccalaureate. - The course im taking..

Its one hell of a course that will keep you busy. Having a really busy week..

Just finished my Chemistry test on Friday. Today, Saturday i had a meeting at Kolej Mara Seremban from 8.00 am till 3.00 pm, which afterwards i went to Midvalley to get some stuffs. Arrived in college at 9.00pm and straight had meeting till past midnight. Oh yes, i only slept for 3 hours last night. =(

Tomorrow, Sunday, have to be at the hall by 7.30 am. Teambuilding (organised by us, hence the hectic schedule) till 1.00 pm. Then after that either im free or having another meeting with my classmate. Evening, barbeque, but around 9pm class meeting for a project. Gotta finish up 2 lab reports, and study for Physics test on Monday.

Monday, reports due, Physics test. 2 more new lab reports coming in. Try to finish it up by Tuesday. Tuesday, packing up for a trip to Cambodia.

Wednesday early morning, 6am, leaving for Cambodia via KLIA.

*phew*. ok, im seeing stars now. gota tido. nites!

p/s: I MET A SAMAD SIAD AT MIDVALLEY TODAY!!!