updates

haha. ok this time its REAL updates.

celebrated cousin's 13th birthday last week. so proud my cousin so matured, tall and handsome d. girls, he's still single. and he's hot. tho he's young la. haha. =P

so we had makan at aunt's place. cousin frm australia came back. and i got my marshmellows!! but sorry i gobbled it up before the picture of it can be taken. hehe!

cousin cousin sekalian..

so yesterday was report card day. sigh. depressing. teacher talk nonsense. mentang mentang i didnt go to school, coz had to go for amali. then seh say this say that. sigh. my frens hear aso got shocked.

friday nite went shopping.. and i bought myself a new patrick bolster! hehe!
i knw patrick is a bodo la. but seriously la.. in school when im bored i talk to my patrick keychain. at least he smiles widely at me!

hehe!



and i felt good about myself on that day.. so i snapped pics la. hehe. once in a blue moon oni pakai sleeveless go out ma. wat to do, size like dat takkan wana wear so often right. haha.

at watatime

at makan place - Mary's Kitchen


so, i got kinda emo yesterday coz my mum scold me for my results. i honestly dont think its that bad la. 8A and 3B4. and its not good enough to everyone. whats wrong?

and i felt abandoned by someone. so in the end, we sorta quarreled. till today. well, what i can say is, i somehow feel much better after telling him what i feel.

he says my position in his heart is always the same. yesh, i know.. but these days i dont feel that way. alrite, im jealous. blame me. and somehow, starting from tmr patrick wont seem to be the one i feel like looking at in class anymore i guess. for some reasons..

whatever la. as i know, i have got my studies to be concerned about for now till SPM.

mr wong always say, we're halfway in the exam hall d. oh shit sir, u're right! im so dead weh. so much more to study. sigh.

so, well.. im stopping here. love u all. tata!

=/ i dont like it when u dont reply my messages. i dont like it when u dont understand what kind of situation i am in. i dont like it when u sleep early when i need u. i dont like it when u cant teman me late late. i dont like it when u date with ur darl and forget abt me. i dont like it when u use the word 'wateva', 'zzz' and give me cold shoulders. i dont like it when u dont know wat words to use to comfort me. i dont like it when u say its ok that im fat. i dont like it when u giv me the funny face when i talk abt hot guys. i dont like it when i need someone to blame and i cant blame u. BUT im still happy that u r my didi! and nevermind those 'i dont like it when's.. coz i have more 'i like it when's! =) sayangs! hope no one is jealous ya. hehe! nola.. where got. sayang u la. =/ swt. dun say bad words lar. in ur shoutout. =/ i'll miss u when u go fc! hahahahaha! but i'll miss someone more! LOL =P oh gosh. WHYYYY did i even ask u to make d 3 week promise thingy? ish. now i regret. lol. ok. since u wont reply coz u very obedient, i complain at here la ok. 1. WAT is jeff talking abt? the jie miss u thingy? 2. and please study. ur fren say dun study. haha. up to u wana study anot la. 3. u ask me c d stranger 'water' profile. i duno which one? must be the one i dont understand anything at all wan lar. 4. im gonna fail my exams. i know, tmr i got paper so im supposed to be studying but i cant help it? 5. i just looked at myslef in d mirror and im getting FAT! only 2nd day of exam! 6. im sleeping way too much. 7. i want a baby. 8. i want a teletubbie doll. i WANT. and i want a hug. 9. i cant wait for hols. i wan go shopping. wan come? 10. oh ya, u knw d baju i bought for u? nv c u wear aso.. 11. i got alot more to complain but not enuf space. haha! aiyo, u wan approve this anot aso nvm la. just wana complain. =/ lols. tata! so those are some comments i sent to my di. yeah. i do sayang him alot. and i said b4 tht if he ever gets a gal tht doesnt like me, i'll back out. he hasnt found the girl yet. but he has friends. who are my friends too. and its amazing what a human can do. simple words can create so much problem. im not jealous. i hope. i just.. dont know what to say. maybe its me being too sensitive. mayb im the one who has changed. mayb im selfish. i dont know. all i know is, everything is so screwed up. i practically screwed up everything. this is me, anyway. i alwasys screw things up. and he's angry with me now. not teplying my messages, not picking up my calls, and cancelling my calls. and u wana know something? i sayang him alot. i put him ahead of my friends. and now that this is happening.. i feel very, broken. i cant concentrate on my studies. i dont know why. elynn, what have you done?

overrrrrrrrrr

hari koku is over! yays! next up : test. and im dead. nex saturday is the open day. the day my dad will go and take report card. but im gona ponteng coz going for some car thingy.. the erm.. amali thing lah! SPM so near weh.. but i cant get myself to STUDy harder! grr geram.... ntg much to update. very angry with myself la.. lols. school sucks la. swt haha. =)

hari koku.

so.. today is hari koku eve. im not making noise but i think the form4's are really useless. i didnt give any problem to my senior last year. but this year the form4 really make me so busy and crazy. even 3 days before hari koku also not all came for marching after school. and the first class rangers.. majority of them didnt turn up. wat a ranger. im seriously angry. and in the end we gota use the form2's. kesian them anyway yesterday our current commander was sick. and their marching was super teruk. my year's form 5 are the best! rangers i mean. haha. so i tried to find ppl to help train.. yesterday 10.30 pm only find coz i was busy the whole day. well, tried to reach the person who trained us last year, but couldnt get. i was so hoping he would come again.. coz last year we only practiced 2 days and we got 2nd! lost to pbsm by 1 mark! neway, i couldnt get him so i tried his bro. couldnt get too. asked my scout fren, he said he will be busy today. so i ask my di, who is in pbsm. he said he can come.. but too bad he has tennis today. so he suggested his pbsm president.. which i wasnt keen about.. coz im not close to him. then i sms-ed a fren.. frm unit4 pbsm, and he said he and many of his frens cant make it coz they will be having chinese class frm 3-5pm today. sigh. i almost gave up. i was almost gonna cry, panic until cannot think straight. it was so late already then. so, my fren (the one i sms frm unit 4), he suggested his president. well, i was in a desperate situation so i agreed. at first i thought he wouldnt say yes.. i duno why but.. hmm.. its just weird la. i called the guy and thank god he knows who i am! haha. tht made things much easier. our convo was smtg like this laa... me : erm hello.. can i speak to.. (his chinese name, which i suddenly duno how to pronounce. haha).. erm.. (and then i said his english name). him: erm yes? me : oh..hi.. im elynn.. him: erm.. elynn? me : ya.. elynn suah. him : oh.. me : u know who am i? him : ya.. me : oh ok thank god. ok.. (bla bla i told him d whole story).. so.. i know its kinda last minute. but i need help.. i need ppl to help me train marching.. him : oh.. huh? erm.. but so last minute wor.. me : i know i know its last minute.. so so sorry la... him : wat time? me : 3 pm.. him : but i finish sch at 2.40pm! (duh, i also laa) me: i know.. but we will be there til 4.30pm.. him : oh.. me : so.. can? please? him : wat time to wat time again ah? me : 3-4.30pm.. him: ok. me: oh? serious??? oh wow.. ok thanks.. him : so now i have to find ppl.. me : no!! no.. i only need one person to come and help to train. u can bring one more fren la.. just dont bring d whole GANG. him : oh.. ok. me : u got transport not? him : ya.. i got moto. me : ok.. u knw where is mgss? him : ya. so meet u at where? me: erm u just come in then can see me d la.. him: ok.. me: ok. thanks c u. fuh. tht was close. haha. so i got a person! too bad frm pbsm.. but i couldnt get any scout. and i was in a big panic already. so just now.. well, he and another fren arrived on time. and htey helped out.. alot. and i mean ALOT. they comment and made things better la.. which im glad. so.. just wana type out.. in case he actually come over my blog.. then.. i would like to say THANK YOU so so MUCH. haha. and thanks to the person who gave me his num too. lols. lets see what happens tmr k. all the best rangers! =) and thanks, again. hehe!

sorry. some syok sendiri pics. haha!

was at a playground in bukit mertajam, penang. lols.

=)

this time for real

just been thru some hard times. went shopping today. bought a t shirt for my dad. i like it. i like the colour. will upload the pic of it later. i think its pms. been blaming pms for the past week, but i think its not right. something's wrong between us. so, at last, decided to not contact each other for some time. i think thats the best action. or else, i would blow up one of these days anyway. had this bad bad headache earlier while i was online. so i went off to get my sleep. even skipped SUKMA highlights. sighs. i barely had half an hour of sleep actually and here i am in front of the computer again. was sms-ing my friend who wil be going to singapore and yeah i am sad. then sms-ed my di.. well, as i mentioned, things arent going well between us. so we decided not to contact each other for some time. i think it will help me prepare myself for spm. haha. yes, SPM. i need to prepare. something is telling me, im gonna be skinned alive once school reopens. BUT, i still have ONE MORE CHANCE to prove myself.. trials. its very near u know. sigh. what a life. so i made the decision in a split second. i will NOT online as often as i do anymore. i know i have been saying this lots and lots of times. but this time, im determined. i want my good results, i have to sacrifice. so, i will first try to not online for the next 3 days. and lets see how things goes ok. coz i found out, that going online, and browsing through friendster, and now that msn sucks, makes me depressed. hence, i do not want to online. i want to date with my books. yes, i think being a nerd for the next 3 or 4 months wont do any harm.. therefore, i would love to say.. ALL THE BEST.. and.. oh, miss me ya. lols. alrites. tata.

i dont understand

there are many things in life i wont understand. petrol prices are going to be increased. well, since its already 1.14am, well, petrol price has increased. and everyone was rushing pump their car with petrol till full tank before 12am. i was cuaght in the jam for 1 hour 15 minutes. and i was late for tuition. i usually only take 15 minutes to reach bukit china, but today i took 1 hour 15 minutes instead. wow. one thing i dont understand is, why do malaysians keep on complaining? do u know, tht malaysia's petrol price is one of the lowest in the world? our government subsidizes quite alot. yeah, we are the manja community u know. so wats with all the complaining? we're considered lucky. wats the rush? the jam was massive! i bet people had to wait for hours for their turn to pump. they have the patience eh? if i were them, i would give up, and pump tmr. up by rm0.78 is quite alot, i know. but i would just pay d extra and not wait. so yeah, i do expect the prices of other stuff to increase. wats the havoc? its not that only malaysia is increasing the price of petrol. the british people are currently paying 1.16 pounds for a litre of petrol. 1.16 pounds is approximately rm7. RM7!!! and we are only paying RM2.70, and yet, we're making so much noise. this goes for other stuffs such as cooking oil, etc. i mean, what do u expect? u expect things to get cheaper? during my parents' time, they could buy a bowl of mee for 5 cents. but now a bowl of mee costs twenty times more. so, u expect the price of mee to be 10 cents per bowl in the future? of course not! well, the price of things will surely increase, its just the matter of time. sigh. dont just complain, lets find a new way to be less affected by this price increase thing. lets say, car pool, walk to nearby shops, cycle, etc. u know.. find new ways to tackle the problem rather than sitting down and complaining. and one more, malaysians need to think ahead, not backward. =) and some people just cant stand seeing other people being happy. whats wrong now? people need to practice mudita. dont be jealous. rejoice in other people's well being. ok. thts all for today. please dont bomb me. its just what i think. nites everyone. =)

of hardworking and intelligence

"success is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration" ahh.. sounds so familiar. i never thought about this phrase deeply till recently. hard work is really important huh? like most of the people out there, what i want after my high school is to study overseas, or at least get an overseas degree/masters, work somewhere not in Malaysia, and perhaps migrate overseas. Then, my parents can come to my place when i settle down and stable. and (hopefully) marry someone there. haha! the thing is, many of us dream. Many people can achieve their dreams. Unfortunately for me, im not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. My parents have to work their ass off if they want to send me overseas. Of course, there are scholarships offered, but who wouldnt want a FAMA (father and mother) scholarship? Dont need to compete with people, no bonding, no interviews, etc. Right? How i wish i didnt have to depend on scholarships. Well yeah, my parents are currently saving every cent they can, so that i can further my studies overseas, WITHOUT a scholarship from any organisation. and they say success is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. too bad for me, im born with the ability to only have half the intelligence someone has. (well, i look at it that way anyway). so i have to work even harder. i never ever succeeded in obtaining any scholarship. so im very scared now. what if i work hard enough, but my results dont let me qualify for any scholarship? i dont wana be stuck here! i want to get out! as SPM draws nearer, im getting more and more inspiration to work harder. but it seems like whatever hard work i put in will not bear any fruits. WHY? i guess, i have to work harder. to sacrifice many of my favourite past times such as sleeping, going online, watching tv, sleeping again, sms-ing, and just laying on the bed doing nothing. i certainly hope watever sacrifices i make, i will not regret later. i dont know how i got into writing this entry, but i just felt like it. i feel tht many people who are lucky enough to have their parents sending them overseas, do not appreciate their luck. well, if they dont want their luck, they can give me theirs! what i need now is to not worry about my tertiary education. but the truth is, i know.. tht evern if i get extra good results, the possibility of me getting a good scholarship is very low. there are many other malaysian students who are way better than me. well, those who are fortunate enought to have ur parents supporting u all the way, appreciate ur luck! coz not everyone's luck is the same as yours! *winks* oh wells, i guess i'll just do my part, and leave the rest to god. =)