this is my CNY.

i know i shouldnt have trusted you. you people are all the same. yet u assured me tht u r different. oh for gawd's sake.. u are?!? u said u wont hurt me, u said u will b there, etc etc etc. those words, they were all lies. i never trusted you. never trusted anyone. u knew it. but i dont know why i told myself tat u can be trusted. i put so much faith in u. i put so much hope in u. and now, u r ignoring me. so much for calling u my close friend. =/ its the forth day cny. here i am at 11.40am in my room blogging. life's boring. it sucks. i know im supposed to get down and dirty with my homework but im totally lost in my school work. catching up will be difficult i know, but it will b easier if i had friends around to help me. i cant really carry on with my sch work now, for im lost, and i hav to wait till esper or wendy returns home frm their kampung. then i'll pay a visit to them and go thru my work. so now im like.. hanging. sighz.. i wanna go out. i just wanna go out! i wanted to go shopping.. need a new pair of shoes and want another pair of shorts. sis going out with erhern after this, to mp. well i wanted to tag along but then she said they will b watching a movie and i hav to walk alone. =/ so i decided not to go. see? my life is so sad.. no friends to tag along with me. i mean, yeah, my friends are great! but some of them are hmm.. wats d word. i dont know.. they're not as out-going as i am. not that im trying to say tht im very out going.. but im allowed to go out with frens who are guys, girls or watsoever. i mean, SOME of my frens, even talking to guys is called 'miang'? going out with guy frens is not so right? oh puh leese laaa~~ i am really speechless. i just dont blend in with my friends. well mayb some, but in another way. deep down inside, i know where i belong. i dont belong to the school i am in now, but i belong in another school. at times i feel like screaming to my dad, telling him im being all negative because i was sent to the wrong school. seriously, i can talk more with my frens frm another school than my school. everyone knows my frens in school are just friends. not friends to hangout with. even my sis can tell me that! now tat i have mentioned this, i realise that my life sucks to hell. i can live my life without a boyfren, but i need friends. close friends. and the fact is, i just lost one. so how am i to see this world as an "exciting" jungle? i'd better stop complaining and carry on with my work. well, for those of u who hav read the entire boring thingy up there, dont feel sorry for me, for there is not a need to do so. just feel glad and happy for urself. =) *this entry was not meant for hurting anyone. if it did, then im truly sorry.*

Happy Chinese New year!!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEARR!!! sorry for the late greetings. hehe! didnt hav the mood to blog for the past few days. hows ur cny so far? nice? well, fyi, mine sucks. bored to death! heartbroken to hell and busy like a bee! well supposed to be busy la.. ahha.. with sch work, but decided not to do it YET. my life sucks to hell. thats all. no mood. byee!

work work work.

thats all i got. WORK. sighz. CNY is in 2 weeks but i still hav got no mood. nex week having mssmnm squash.. doomed. then suday its CNY already! a week off frm school.. but not frm tuitions and work. aihzz... all i can do is sigh non stop. theres a pile of mount kinablau stacking up ... growing into mount everest.. in my room. the pile of uncomplete homeworks/assignments/watevers is killing me! i seriously hav got no mood in completing those stuffs.. no mood. cant concentrate. so yeah, valentines day is next week.. but im single.. 16 yeras in a row. im getting used to it.. but still sad lar.. ahhaha.. weekday lagi.. tuitions whole day.. ='( having some peronal prob now. ntg serious.. just a lil confused.. but well, i'll get used to it. hehe.. its just the matter of timee...

life really sucks

i cant trust anyone to do any work. i just cant. i tried to.. i gav them a chance. but they disappoint me. this is bad. i hate all of these! i hate all of u!

january.

let me sum up how my january was. good coutdown till 07. not a very good first day of the year. not a good first day of school. every tuition sucked. problems cropped up. grandma passed away. missed school for a week. blurr in my studies. didnt hav time for myself. no time to sleep, no time to eat, no time to sit. ---> in sch and at home. cried at least twice a week. --> never been so depressed!!! things all fell apart. frenships broken. etc etc etc.. the list goes on. therefore, conclusion : january sucked. i hav a feeling 2007 wont be kind to me. life sucks. it does.