i miss you

sighz. i didnt keep to my oath. i contacted you. sighz. angry with myself. anyhow, after this i promise no more contacting you. i already deleted ur number frm my phone. haha! whatever! were you that stupid to trust me that im happy? im not my dear, im not. i just hate you la. i have no idea why. anyway i caught you telling me lies so yeah, forget that we're actually frens anyway. cant be bothered. tats it. im not in a mood to blog any further. p/s: i miss my kor kor who doesnt seem to care abt me at all. great. big deal.

for the past 15 years..

lets see.. for the past fifteen years.. 1 - 4 years old: only God knws what happened to me.*i forgot d la!* 5 years old : started kindergarten in wesley church. 6 years old : changed kindergarten to ske kindergarten. in march, went to england to meet up with dad. came back to msia by the end of the year. had a superb year. met many people.. leng chais *ahemm* made many frens, learned many things, went to disneyland paris! haha 7 - 9 years old : started primary 1 in mgs2 when i was seven. met my frens. who are still my frens now. excelled in academics thru out the 3 years. started tuition then. made more frens frm other sch and the opposite sex. met old kindergarten frens. laughed alot. was very fat. lolz.. had great fun. haha.. 10 - 12 years old : was made class monitor at the age of 10. by 11, was a prefect in school. 12, head prefect and tokoh murid. by 10, had my first crush *AheMMMMMmm!!* sat for upsr, got straight. got a new godbro. became closer to my frens. especially anselm and wenchiang. joined public speaking. won many competitions. btu no doubt lost many too. last day of school in mgs2, cried badly. was so sad. ntg much. was growing up to be a more mature person. hehe! 13 years old : started form 1 in mgss *not really the schoolof my choice*. however, enjoyed every moment of it. missed primary school. was really stressed out coz of certain stuffs.. expectations frm people. SUKMA ke-10 was on. started to slim down coz of one guy. *cough cough* yes, ONE guy. *winks*. missed old frens and teachers. cry often. got murid cemerlang award. was closer to anselm. ntg much. met new frens, as usual. ahha 14 years old : was made a probate. not my choice. anyhow, was a great year. celebrated my bday. got another godbro. enetered mssnm squash competition. saw many leng chais.. *ahemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm* ahha. went for my first campfire. sfi scouts. then kept on going for campfires thru out the year. one campfire to remember was sea scouts wan. went with korkor. but tat time not yet korkor. had miscommunications with frens. quarreled. but we're still frens. quarreled with a fren. not exactly quarreled. just choose not to talk to her anymore coz of some personal problems. visited bangkok. had mixed feelngs this year. u knw, teenagers. haha.. yea, had probs as well. joined work camp, met many many many new and great frens. hehe!!! frenship with anselm still like last time, but was closer to wen chiang and cheng kim. a superb year with ups and downs. moments either sweet or bitter to be cherished. 15 years old : installed as a prefect. asst sec to b exact. not really proud. very sien. lolz. anyhow, campany leader for pandu puteri 2nd coy. tail twister for leo club. this year is the worst one of all. no doubt. getting fatter. have no control of myself. getting more emotional and confused. joined dhamma sch. help alot in temple. many bad things happened. yet, i hanging on. always look on the bright side. spent first half of the year, which is until now, regretting things, missing someone, and playing a fool. another half of the year yet to come. hopefully elynn suah does change for the better. i guess tats all. juz have to change for the better. improve myself. =) till then, "age quod agis" - tat, is my oath. -elynn suah ee huei- -28th may 2006- -2037-

me? water polo??

exams sucks as usual. tmr last day of exams. kh, moral, and geografi. great. havent read one single thing yet. hmm anyhow, nex month will b training water polo for melaka club.. gonna play frenly match with dunno watch club.. me? waterpolo? niahahahahhahaha.. tats the biggest joke ever.. holidays are coming, but i got no plans.. dare not make plans. first, gonna b busy. second, sis not here. third, no one to go out with. fourth, im not sure if i have to mood to go out or not. sighzz i dunno.. these few days have been hell. im serious. i sometimes think its much better if i just leave everything and juz go somewhere else. hiding frm everyone. i dont know!!!!!!! i juz wanna think things over, but exams are soooooo taking up my time. im typing this now coz i need someone to talk to, but no one is here. juz chatted to korkor.. after such a long time. laz time i chat to him was 27th march.. o smtg like dat. anywwy juz found out that nex month he's going up kl. this is seriously so sad. after coming bck frm ns, cheng kim is gonna study.. he says will b going kl most prob. and tat really made me sad. no joke. i mean.. argh! watever la.. juz the thought of it makes me so sad. im not contacting someone anymore.. i mean.. i havent been contacting la.. i juz found out smtg lor.. very sad..but happy for him. i guess people live their life so much more peacefully without me. happy for them. anyhow, me have to go and study already. tata. all the best. age quod agis. ELYNN, jia you!

im lost

i feel so lost. somone isnt talking to me. not even replying my sms or picking up my calls. and don wanna talk to me. another one is yeah, like usual.. tak ngam with me. korkor is ignoring me. why for gods sake now? why is this happening now? i just dont know la. wanna study alos no mood. rgh! wanna go jog first.. see if i feel better after tat..

kill me!

for some reasons, just slap and kill me. i apprecite it. very much. trust me. i am the most useless human that had ever existed. i know myself better than you. dont deny tat fact. thank you. end of story. bye bye.

exams

exams are sucidal. i think im gonna fail my bm and maths. end of story. dun ask so much. and to make things worse, this is discouraging me. tmr having sejrah paper and i havent read one single fact. big deal. tonite no need sleep. nitez. end.of.story.

beautifully broken

engkau telah mensia-siakan kepercayaanku terhadapmu. tidak mungkin kau berpatah balik lagi. jika ini yang patut ku terima, adakah adil jika engkau mampu tersenyum sedangkan ku di sini ku merana dalam hatiku yang telah luka olehmu. so yeah.. i dont know why i like writing in BM. sounds more nice. ehhe.. sometimes i find english language really pathetic. especially lessons in school. nope, its not the teacher's fault.. its just... i dunno.. very low standard i guess. and our paper 2 is so boring. we're supposed to write an essay.. and we have no choice while BM paper.. we have a choice. unfair isnt? haha.. i knw i knw.. this IS malaysia afterall.. but i guess i love BM so much! and i wont fret anymore.. lets see.. ntg much has happened.. only a few minor minor wan.. but nah, it wont b anyhow interesting to blog. school is as usual.. busy as usual.. despite the fact tat exams are this wednesdy, i seem too relaxed. haha~ expect to fail every subject i guess. well, as for myself... after wesak day.. i am a lil better i guess. doing better juz tat i am putting on weight! wah.. geram mannn!!!! fatty elynn. seriously.. i can my face getting fatter and bigger. haha.. nvm. later got swimming training then tonite perhaps i dance or smtg. hehehe.. and no doubt im missing someone dearly.. just a fren but yeah, miss him loads. more like a big bro actually.. his absence have made me a stronger person.. i guess. haha! only god knws la.. hmm.. i guess tats it la.. just need to really settle down and concentrate on my studies. im better now i think.. only tat there are some disturbance such as.. pandu puteri, kerja kursus, and homeworks.. haha.. as for now, i think i better chao and do my homework first.. or else i wont hve the time to study tonite. XD till then, god bless. muakz

God caught me at the right time..

god saw my weakness and caught me. god is testing me.just when i am weak, god caught me and gave me more and more test of life. i dont know. i used to be like this last few months. then for a while, i was so happy.. problem free. but now, everything seems to be turning its back towards me. why? i just dont get it. even going to school and seeing my frnes sometimes get on my nerves. i just dont get it. esper said to me that day.. "u're having the time of ur life.." well, what she means is, i am not really bothered abt poeple now. i think so thats what she meant la. yes, i have no sense of urgency nowadays. im letting things influence me easily. sad case indeed. i knw. but i just cant help it. mayb its part of being a teenager? but i dun see my frens being like tat. argh! really really frustrating whenevr i think of this matter. on the other hand, im really addicted to squash. ahha.. and swimming too. wonder why.. cant get enuf of squash. i fel so satisfied when i hit the dman ball so bloody hard. guess its a way to let go la.. since everyone is expecting something frm me. everyday pressuring me.. damn stressful la! hmm.. ntg to blog d. i actually wanted to let go everything in this entry but i guess its easier said than odne. or mayb i just wana keep some things to myself. coz as my TEACHER said, im too outspoken. yea ryte. watever laa.. if being outspoken is wrong, and being too quiet is wrong, then this world is never gonna improve man. anyhow, stop abt tat teacher la. i guess my emotions are all mixed up. wanna talk to someone but i knw he wont layan me la.. he with his gf.. too busy d. another one, is in NS.. cant talk to him. but if he's here i MIGHt call him.. so long didnt talk to him d. hehe.. and he was the one i turned to whenevr i had to talk to someone. the other one, also busy. wont layan me wan.. will only layan my sis.. the other wan, dowan me as his mei mei d. sad case. and yea, korkor doesnt want me d.. tats one of the reason why i am sad now. just dunno laaa!!!! i guess i dont wanna continue d. tooooo mixed up. ahah.. k lar, wish me luck in my exams k! tata~ muakz!

aihh

juz got back frm squash. tmr got finals. team event. against ijc A. aihs.. no comment. at maksak my eyes had a feast. BIG feast. haha. if you get what i mean.. ehehhe.. anyway, lks lost. sad man! felt like crying when he lost knw! so sad.. but too abd im not close to him la. haha.. if im really really close to him then i might shed a tear or two. ehhehehe.. so tmr my game will be at 3pm. which is like sooooooooooooooooo late. aihzz.. k, im really tired now. i knw these few days i have been disturbing tkv alot. sorry lar! dont mean to! promise no more such things after this k! hehe.. anyway, i've got swimming training now so yeah, keep in touch!