sighz

im still sad abt what happened on 28 and 29th amrch 2006. i will remember this date for the rest of my life. im getting over things.. well, i guess thats all. sad i am, but in a way, im relieved. tats all. wanna go sch d. 6am d. haha. tata

unfairness

life is so unfair. its a fact. so yeah, my sis is much mroe better than me. slimmer, prettier, more stylish, smarter, etc etc. why must people compare? i just dont understand. im hated by everyone.. coz my sis is better than me. even my family members are like that. is it my fault? im just born this way. i dont know.

ns

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sis just sms me. hahaa.. i miss her so much le.. hehehehe.. oh and i've gotta make a phone call. ahha..

23 March 2006

sighz~ well, today is the 24th march btw. ahha~ i put tht as my title coz yesterday was a day to remember. first of all, had my public speaking competition. kinda dissapointed lar. my prepared speech was ok .. i did my best tho i forgot a few lines. but my impromptu sucked. to the max. oh btw, i got 2nd. haha~ my prepared speech title was FAT FAT FAT. mr lim chow koon was the emcee. when he introduced me and my title, he made tht kinda voice and face expression as tho it was an insult (in a good way). haha~ then after tat i asked him why he did that he said i have no right to talk abt FAT. coz im not tht fat. aww.. so sweet. well, guys only sweet talk. haha.. anyway, impromptu was 'school life is anything but fun' kinda confusing lar tat topic. *to be continued* ok, im back. haha~ juz now in the afternoon kinda lazy. hehe. anyway, as i was saying. impromptu yesterday was bad. very bad. sucked to the max. kinda angry with myself. ahha. anyway, got 2nd. ng elaine got 1st. ong kay rin got 3rd. she's frm ndc. my primary sch teacher's daughter. hehe. well, i cried after impromptu, when i went on stage to thank my class and said tht im sorry i dissapointed them but i did my best d, and also when the results were out. well, i duno y but i get veyr very emotional when its during the competition. ahha. miss johnson was cool abt it. pn amelia and mr rajendran was cool. so were pn tan lay heong and pn lim ai ling. well, i guess they knw i tried my best. its nice to see them smile even tho i did kinda bad. they're supportive. then, when i wnet into the car i kept quiet. dad asked me. i told him got 2nd. could see he was dissapointed. sighz~ makes me so sad. he put so much faith and trust in me. but yet i dissapointed him. sad. im a useless daughter. anyway, mum was really happpy. haha then i came home, first thing sms tkv and wen chiang. well, was in tears. haha. then at 6 i had a squash game. sighz. very tiring. at first i wanted to walkover but then i called airini and she didnt pick up. then i called tkv he siad he was going. so well, i decided to just go and play. i knw i will sure lose wan so well, juzt play ni lar. ahha. i reached there at 5.55pm. i was just in time. someone almost told the uncle i wanted to walk over. haha. so, i wnet into the court lor. tkv wast there yet. *phew* but i saw andrew. sighz. haha. he was the refree and ming zhe was the linesman. haha~ paiseh only. well, started playing and when andrew asked to spin the racquet i told the small kid tat just spin the racquet. she'll serve. i had no more energy lar. ahha.. so well, she served. i played. kinda gave up half way. but well, i played lar! haha. first set over, i told the girl continue to play. afterall, i wasnt tired at all. i mean, i didnt run. ahha~ she said ok. then middle fo 2nd set i told her play 3 sets straight. she said ok. ahha. well, end of 2nd set andrew and ming zhe was like.. 'rest lar! rest lar!' .. ahha. too bad, i refused. wanted to get over the game faster. ahha. lionel was there too. -.-" anyway, straight after my game, i step out of the court ni, ahhahaha.. i saw one boy walking in with the cap. guess who? lolz. he was late. ahhahaha. i succeeded! i finished my game before he reached maksak. ahhaha. lolz. he was kinda shocked tat i lost ot them twin. told ya im bad. anyway, talked ot him a while. abt my public speaking. seriously, i am still very sad. anyway, went straight went to tuition till 9.30pm. and half way thru tuition ah mai called me. she ask me wat watch i wan. fossil wan. ahha. hehehehe.. she bought watch d. ehhee.. saw d. if u all wanna knw, go to www.fossil.com the watch name is pinky. latest design. keluaran terbaru. so yeah, gonna be one year older on 1st april. hehehe. soo.. let me see. wat i wanna blog sumore huh. oh yea, today. hmm.. this morning at 6am called tkv. wanna ask him to fetch me frm sch. no transport home. ahha. i called twice. he picked up the second time. kesian kesian. he was still alseep. ehehee.. im evil. anyway, as expected, he cant. aih~ cant blame him. he dunno hav to go where to tie gadgets. anyway, in school, i didnt pass up all the homeworks. tak sempat do. ahha. berlambak wei my homework. ahha. anyway, i was already getting over the competition. when miss TAN, saw me.. she talked to me. she was like.. 'elynn, congrats ar. i knw u dissapointed. but you have to admit she's way better than you. bla bla bla.. ' i mean like.. hey, i tried my ebst d. must she fucking spoil my mood ar. shit lar.s he wasnt even in the hall lar shitz. and she said.. WAY BETTER> crap la. i give up d. everyone keeps congratulating me. i knw. i appreciate it but im not satisfied. i can just give a weak smile and say thank you. tats all. sighz. dun feel like going for state level. really la miss tan, u suck la. spoil people's mood ni. hmm.. oh yea, airini talked to me this morning. she asked me if i was close to someone. i said not really. she asked me to becareful coz u knw.. ahha. i knw lar. he playboy. im not serious with him neway. ahha. she told me tht they were a couple before. 1 week, sabah. ok, cancel this part. its a private thing. oh and yesterday airin was at there. aww.. miss her so much knw! ahha. she's getting prettier d. ehhe. ok, wait, im no lesbo k! hmm.. then this morning priya talked to me. she said the guy with the cap so sweet coz come and see me play. and also the linesman and the refree coz ask me to rest scared i tired. ahha. yea, thinking twice, they're kinda sweet. hehe. muaks! bluek~ this sunday is a visiting sunday. i wont b going. juz now sis called. she wans duck rice and kim wans char siew rice. ahha. lolz. so cute of kim. anyway, kinda miss him. i mean, i used to depend on him. whenever i had problems or wanted to talk to someone he was always there. tat day i called tkv and talked to him. sighz~ sad case la. patah my semangat ni. i really do miss kim. but mum said i better not go ns this sunday coz i got lotsa things to do. oh well, then i can always call kim and talk to him. niahahahAHAhahahhaa. bluek! dad and mum kinda angry with me. they say i online too much *kinda true* , go out too often *true only*, never study.. *absolutely true!* and i dont seem to care anyway. its like im all about boys ..*opps, no comment* . ahha. they didnt tell em straight. mum todl me tat dad told her tat lar. she ask me to chnage. well.. see how things go lar. haha. wow.. this post veyr long. sighz~ tats all i guess. and if tkv reads this post.. im so dead. haha. oh and btw, ijc campfire today. didnt go. got pass..but tmr nite me going out to city beaview and then after tat to supper d. sighz~ then nex day got sfi pbsm campfire. ahhaa.. lol.. ciao!

sobs

argh! i miss you! come back quickly can not??? i got no one to talk to when im down. sobs! sobssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!

who exactly is the real you?

you needed someone to talk to after your break up. you chatted to me all night long. you messaged me first on msn. you told me if there was anything wrong i could call you. you gave me your number. you were lonely on new years eve night. you slept early, ignoring my calls. i heard from my fren tht you lied to me. you were off for 3 months. you missed call me at first. then you sms me. then you forget about me. you're back, you dont even let me know. you only smsed me when i smsed you. sometimes you dont reply. you wanted to see me. you saw me, you acted like we didnt know each other. you didnt let me see you hair. you drive around alot. you are rich. you are cute. you're a playboy. you flirted with me. you made promises with me. you broke them. you sms me again, telling me there were some misunderstandings. you told me the truth. you have a new gf. you never thought of my feelings. you treated me as if i was your little sister, you said. but the truth is, you're treating me like im your second gf. you do not reply when i sms. you refuse to drive me round. you find your reasons to avoid me. you lied to me that you will only get your lisence tomorrow. you dont wanna drive me around. you wanna see me play. you do not reply when i mention the word pak toh with your new gf. wats up with you? i was there when you needed someone and vice versa. i chatted to you in return. i replyed your messages and sms. i called you when i had some problems. i was with you on new years eve night. i was conned by you. i was happy when u still remember me. i was overjoyed when you called me just to say good night. i have always remembered you. i always reply your sms. i always feel worried about you. i always think about your feelings. i always sms. i saw you. i was more than overjoyed. i was dissapointed. i talked to you. then, i was happy. i was shocked when i got your sms. i was too sad for words. i trusted you. i loved you more than a friend. i dream of you every nite. i think of you all the time. i smile whenever i think of you or even just by the sound of your name. i needed help. i told you the latest updates. i asked for your help. i was so dissapointed when you refused. i was so stupid to trust you. i was so stupid to believe in you. i was so stupid to fall in love with you. i have lost faith in myself because of you. and i blame you for this. i hate you. love turns to hate. expectation turns into frustrations.

argh!

you knw wat~ i typed a private post in xanga and then smtg went wrg and my post was gone! havent save yet! ish! geram! and tht post wasnt short k! was a damnnnnnnn looooooooooooooooooooong wan~ ish ish ish! ahha anyway, last nite i went to sfi campfire! ok its a long story wanna hear? ok.. so, damian promised me personal pass.. then the nite before campfire he called me saying personal pass all blocked. only ex committee can bring people in. well of coz i was dissapointed! hmm... i think he knew i was dissapointed~ anyway, i texted tkv after tat.. no reply. ok nmv.. then after tat i called him. he was driving. *felt so bad* then i talked to him a lil while.. he said it was ok and stuffs.. then i told him.. 'but damian say ex committee can bring people in' ahhahaha~ (well, was hoping he would bring me in ) then he say hong peng dun let them bring people in.. how sad.. =( then yesterday afternoon kit kin was online and i chat to him. i told him i wont be able to attend the campfire coz no pass.. he said he knws.. all pass blocked. haha.. then he offered to bring me in~ weeeeeee! ahha.. so off i was to campfire! ahha~ ok, i dowanna blog sumore on the campfire.. coz a lot sweet memories.. ehhehe.. well, i juz wanna thank kit kin coz he bring me in lor.. hehe.. sometimes its those people whom u least expected who will help you. like last time for the sea scouts campfire was justin kuah~ he gave me and kor kor pass.. ehhe.. tat time i only chat to justin first time he already offer me personal pass.. ehhehehe.. =P

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sad dissapointed angry

yeap~ i cant go tonite's campfire! sobsssssssssssssssss

sad

yea, sad day.. sighz~ juz found out smtg.. d guy i like going for camp? haha~ gonna miss him larr~ how i wish i have the guts to just tell him i like him.. =/

sighz~ same post as in frenster

cried in school today. yea i knw it sounds kinda childish. but.. well, i couldnt take it anymore. first,. i didnt have enough sleep for the past few days or can say weeks, then i have sooooooooooooooooooooooo much overdued homework, and saringan is coming up. sigh~ then sumore monday is a relaxing day for me. i mean, its time for me to relax lar~ but then teacher ask to stayback frm 3-5pm. like hello??!!?? even staying back for jazz chant practice until 2.40pm also i got no transport back d, wan me to stayback till 5? *sighs* anyway, after that i went to call dad.. he asked me to stayback. ish! then i say lar i got alot of work to do, then he insisted that i stay back for dunno what crap thing, saringan raptai i think.. *wait, i didnt knw saringan got raptai wan* anyway, then i cried on the fon, most prolly coz i was toooo stressed and had alot of work to do PLUS i didnt get enough sleep. so he said its ok and i can come back. he'll write a letter tmr. yahoo? dunno la~ crap, tmr sure kena wan.. watever! well, lets see.. tmr having saringan, hav to stayback till 4.30pm and also on wednesday. thursday got koku till 4.. *phew* hectic sialz.. ahha.. looks like wednesday is gone~ wednesday used to be a very nice day, relaxing and stuff.. btu this week its different. then public speaking competition is coming up, my speech nto ready yet, ive got no voice, my intonation sucks. and teacher is not giving me latihan for impromtu speeches. can die? yea, i knw! to make it worse, i have to defend my last years' title. ish ish ish~ stressful! then nex week ahving prefect cmap. frm 13 march morning till 14 evening. 13 we'll b going sunway . then 14 got another university coming. hello??!!?? ish~ always talk only.. dun u think its a bore? yea. i knw. it better be good. i dont want the same thing as last year to happen. and i have to skip my really really good and effective tuition just for one damn camp. i dun understand why wanan have camps. ish~ even the pandu puteri cmap which was over yesterday, i worked real hard knw. i did the program book. monday night : didnt sleep at all~ coz was doing program book.wednesday was having test and i didnt even read on single thing yet. can die? yea.. but worse, tuesday after coming home frm sch, i sleep, then wake up, then eat, then sleep. without studying, so i sat the test on wednesday without studying. actually, that happened for all my tests. haha.. btu results not yet come out, sh!t! haha then thursday afternoon pn elaine called my house, telling me program book had some errors.. sigh!! anyway, its over d, dowanna talk abt it. so i guess i should be doing work now. ahha.. or else dad's so gonna kill me. hehe.. so, yea, shud go and do work... or mayb sleep? hmm.. lol tata!