ahh~ sorry la peeps. no time to update. haha.. triedto update few days ago but the new format.. i mean the new google/blogger beta thingy is making me go crazy~ lolz. anyways cut d crap. school's starting on wednesday.. i cant wait! but im nto ready for school yet! haha.. i really feel like going back to school and studying.. but im seriously not ready for it yet. still got xmas and new year mood lah! haha.. nvm la.. f4 goot 1 week orientation.. bloeh lar relax sikit. haha.. anyways now tat its 31st already and tmr is d first of january.. and many of my frens are leaving for NS, i cant help but to feel sad. im so gonna miss them. and this brings me back to one year ago.. 31st dec 2005 and 1st jan 2006. memories.. sweet and bitter memories..

ahhh~ back in penang! bm i mean. haha.. left home at 7.30am. reached airport at abt 9.35am. checked in. stupid flight delayed frm 11.10am to 12.15noon. i was like.. -.-" waited so long! nasib la ada buku.. yes~ im reading a book!! haha.. shocking eh.. hehe.. then at 11.30am they let us board the planee.. 12.13sharp we took off. i was busy snapping picstures of the sky all the way. its like.. in heaven. ahha.. call me sampated or watever.. i've never been on a plane tht flies so low before. i could see ground okay! anyways, reached penang international airport at 12.50pm. and got into the car at 1.00pm sharp. hahahaha.. told ya im too free.. see my watch all the way. anyhoo, the flight was okay la for tat price. the taking off and landing was gOOD! and i liked the fact tat they or rather, the pilot/the plane went thru those BIG BIG clouds. ahha.. very fun! reach d, went to my cousin's shop. i'll call her aunt la, coz she's a year younger than my mum only. went makan. then hung around the shop.. talked with cousin/niece.. but would rather call her cousin coz shes a year younger than me only.. then we tried out the massage chair and foot wann.. ahhahaha.. and we used the laptop. supposed to go gurney. but cancelled. then we went to island which is just opposite. look see look see.. we ended up in coffee bean instead. hahaha.. makan d balik to the shop. hung around again. cousin was working for her mum. like *swt*.. then her dad came and said wanna go jogging.. i had no problem with tht.. but then it looked as if it was gonna rain. so we decided to go shopping! we went to my all time fav- G U R N E Y ! ! ! shop shop shop.. bought cutex.. black, pink, purple, white. haha. my fingers are already blue and green so i edited my toenails la.. haha.. after gurney came home.. then makan. then went back my grandma hse. then came back here.. my cousin's hse. then see movie.. scary movie 4. like fcuk. it sucks. so dirty. ahha.. then after tat here i am! so boredd.. =/ i knw this entry is long but hey~ ahhaha... if u read finish d then yay! haha. will update the pics nex day. hav a great day! =) p/s: this laptop ar.. funny funny wan. very difficult to add colours coz the mouse/keypad smtg wrg. so nex day i edit k! ehhe

whoa. it 2am d. cannot sleep. just now makan so much. sushi buffet. so fat d. =( anyways so bored. i feel like im losing my friendship with everyone. tmr going to bear hill to help out in a charity thingy. kit kin is now at pantai kundur..aiyoh so late d he still there. haha.. so boring arr.. ntg to do. oh yea, my flight confirmed.. leaving wednesday and coming back on 13 december. very long eh? i knw.. but i cant wait! its been a long time since i've gone back to penang. ahhaha.. until here only la. malas la. haha.. just wanna try out my colourss.. ehehhee.. GOOK LUCK SPM-ers!

updates

post pmr concert

esper's feet, wendy behind, me, eunice

yin chiu, me, pei kin after concert

me and esper.

elynn, puan ong, eunice

one big group!! i was the odd wan. haha.

at the zoo.

in the bus on the way back

eunice and me

at the museum. some infinity mirror or smtg

ahh~ the new version of blogger huh.. dunno wat combine with google wan. anyways good news! now i can put colours for my fonts! haha..! blueks ntg much to blog. today's thursday but im here coz we're on holiday d! yay! haha.. this morning woke up at 7.30am, went jogging.. jogged abt 2 rounds, suddenly my right side of my stomach hurt. ouch! decided to stop. stupid stomach! anyways my lunch is back. will update later. =)

wow.. long time didnt update ey.. haha.. today was my last day of school. sad but happy. i dunno.. holiday = bored. school = stressful. so anyways will be going back penang next week for 3 weeks. coming back around 13th december. then 17th till 24th december having camp!! haha.. 24th nite will b going church. hehee.. parents gave green light d. so yeah! haha.. this year is gonna be hell man! hhehhee.. supposed to go out this saturday with anslem and gang. but then as usual guys are slow. and i am thinking.. forget it lah~ coz its like they half hearted. i might as well go to the carnival in bukit beruang. yeh yee they all will b there helping round. they ask me to go. so yeah! see how la. hahaha.. sunday baking chicken piee!! so as for now i have got things to fill up my saturday and sunday. as for tmr and friday, im gonna die of boreness. sighz~

ooo yeah! been a while since i actually updated a 'real' post. today went zoo. yeee.. i dun like! then come back, ate abit, then sleeeeeeep. woke up, went swimming. which was hell! grrr.. but fun~ ehehhehe.. ntg much to blog lor. very busy these days. and i realise my posting thingy got smtg wrong. i cant seem to colour my words! ish! kek sim! now here i am, cant sleep, coz i saw 2 snakes at the zoo today. tsk tsk tsk. i hate snakes. reptiles to be exact. ish! geli errrrrrrrrrr! okay laaaaa wanna try to sleep d. eyes pain btu not tired. haha.. nite nite

I woke up early this morning around 4am With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms I've been tryin' my best to get along But that's OK There's nothing left to say, but Take your records, take your freedom Take your memories I don't need'em Take your space and take your reasons But you'll think of me And take your cat and leave my sweater 'Cause we have nothing left to weather In fact I'll feel a whole lot better But you'll think of me, you'll think of me I went out driving trying to clear my head I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this And all the baggage that seems to still exist It seems the only blessing I have left to my name Is not knowing what we could have been What we should have been So Take your records, take your freedom Take your memories I don't need'em Take your space and take your reasons But you'll think of me And take your cat and leave my sweater 'Cause we have nothing left to weather In fact I'll feel a whole lot better But you'll think of me Someday I'm gonna run across your mind Don't worry, I'll be fine I'm gonna be alright While you're sleeping with your pride Wishing I could hold you tight I'll be over you And on with my life So take your records, take your freedom Take your memories I don't need'em And take your cat and leave my sweater 'Cause we have nothing left to weather In fact I'll feel a whole lot better But you'll think of me So take your records, take your freedom Take your memories I don't need'em Take your space and all your reasons But you'll think of me And take your cat and leave my sweater 'Cause we got nothing left to weather In fact I'll feel a whole lot better But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah And you're gonna think of me Oh someday baby, someday

oh here i am. 0204 hours. shud be asleep now acually. having badminton tmr. aihs. hehe.. just sms-ed anselm. he's nice. wait~ he's ALWAYS nice. hehe.. miss him so much. =) chiang also not yet sleep. i think. he sms me but then when i sms balik, no reply. guess he no more $, or perhaps asleep d. i feel so guilty actually. im so troublesome. neways anselm's working at pizzahut. he works everyday. till 12am. wonder why they dun hav shifts ar. neways, so kesian hor. ='( torture him till like dat. am so sad. told him wanna go out together one day but he's working so too bad. ahah. im evil. neways hope he enjoys working there. where was i ar? oh yea.. finally had a chance to chat to him juz now. but he's busy. i understand.. exams and assignments. dun blame him tho. erm.. and i told him had smtg to let him knw, btu i guess things can wait since he's KINDA busy. ryte.. i wondered why i said tat anyway. my feelings can wait. ryte. ahhH~ am so sleepy. gotta go sleep d. nite nitee!

oh gawd. smtg's wrong with me. it may sound weird but i think im falling for a guy that's younger than me. by one year only la. one year and a few days. our bdays are nearly the same. same month. 28 days difference. lolz. call me crazy. lolz. wonder why.. when he doesnt reply my msn messages, i feel angry. haha.. mayb his bro influenced him. sighz. sad u knw. used to be close to them both, now no more. =( neways, gonna make this entry short. things hav been happening but i dont care wanna cry. =) im matured d! but still, these stuffs make me lose faith and trust in guys. hahaha.. too bad la male homosapiens. wanna read smtg now but cant concentrate. ish. =/

wahhh~i just posted a loooooooooong entry in frenster. muahahahhaa.. and here i am blogging again. its addictive u knww... hehehehe.. newaysss.. its 0148 hours now. dunno why cant sleep. sms-ing with kk. his num 016.. dunno why but we juz got things to sms abt.. unlike sum ppl.. sms abit then stop liao. ntg to chat. ahha.. dun worry la, he is like a big bro to me. everyone is like a big bro/sis to me laa.. coz i am not interested in more than tat. hahaahhaa.. my tets shows tat i dont need/want a man in life! wooohooo! so true! as frens okok la.. not more than that. if its more than that, for me.. it means TROUBLE and HURT! hahahahaha... told ya these things bring confusion and stuffs. k im gonna confess. so i miss a few people. kell, yenyi, wenchiang, anselm, jaemie, sam, kim, and many many many others.. if i were to name them, its never gonna end. but hey, i dont know why but i used to just tell them straight that i miss them.. but i cant do it now. why ar? later they think lain pulak. okay, mayb got la last time i er.. had a crush on *ahems* but then.. it was last time! now different d maaa! aiyoh~ very khang khor la.. i wanna be close with him again. tho its troublesome, but i want! coz he's a nice guy actually only that his attitude makes me sick. barbie and ken. he's ken. so we're barbie dolls to him. ahahha.. some of u who are reading this might knw who it is but well,.. i wont mention d name. ahha. so wat~ i like him. mayb love. =P nto wrong wat ryte. i even miss my kor. sometimes i think i love the peolpe i love more than iu shud love them. get wat i eman not ar? aiyah~ nvm la. love my korkor loads. but he dont care aso. very 'fan' ar this hal. lolz. oh wat am i crapping. i just wish we can be how we were.so close. no quarrels. no misunderstandings. no anger. no ignorance. no annoyance. no nothing. just pure frens. ahh~ close frens. *winks* but wat to do wor.. now like dat d. hahaha looking on d bright side of things, tomorrow going shopping! and i have another boring day off on monday. 'yay'!.

ahhh~i still remember the song "only love" by trademakr. whenever i hear tat song, it reminds me of yenyi. ahhahahaha. he sent me tat song la. no other meaning kay. but then i remember sheding a tear when i first listened to it. its niceee! tat time i was having some personal problem i guess.. so i kinda.. er.. was touched when i listened to it coz its like yenyi's words. but i knw it wasnt. ahhahhahaha. no offense. =P reading thru my testis in frenster. kinda sweet u knw, how i used to exchange testi with some other people who seems to disappear now. all those wonderful frens, guys i mean, now all having their own world. cant blame them tho. this is life ryte. =) but it was great having them around last time. =P even kor as changed, he used to be so niceeeee so caring.. such a wonderful kor. well now, i guess he's just.. busy.. and living in his world. enjoying life. happy tat he is anyways. im not saying that my frens now are all baddy baddy wan. just that, i had mroe good frens last time. now very few lor. and im talking abt guys la. girls, i got soooooo many! yahoo! hehehhehehe.. =P it feels nice to know u have someone to fall back on. i used to have a fren, very close fren, a storng and nice guy, who would always catch me if i was falling, and pull me up when i was down. but now, he's gone. we dont even talk to each other. he changed his number and acted like nothing happened. i pretend to not know anything.. but i guess i know everything. it hurts u knw, some way, but its just.. undescribable. sobs. ='( he even said i was weak, juz coz i fainted in school. dont you realise? i keep so much insdie since we didnt talk to each other. sometimes i know all i want is you, all i need is you. but u were never there, u refused to be there. how could you? well i just hope you're happy lar. wat else can i do? i lost the person who showed me the true meaning of loving. blind love. the true meaning of sacrifice, hate, anger, jelousy, and frens. u did all kind of things. sometimes i wonder.. shud i remember u as a good guy, or a bad guy? im not sure. but one things for sure.. i'll always remember you. oh since no one would actually read this post/blog.. i'd continue.. lepas-ing all my frustrations. i guess. sometimes i just feel like telling you d truth. but im afraid im just.. tepuk-ing tangan sebelah. its not easy u knw, seeing u flirt. and seeing u going out with so many gf(s) when i knew u. i know u had many many gf before. hahahaa.. i knw how u flirt. u even told me. u flirted with me. ish. anyways, i knw who the true u r. u knw i knw it. why pretend? i duno wat to think now. i dunno wat to say. im just so.. confused. abt my feelings towards you. u're the most leceh creature in the world, but weird.. i still cant let you go no matter how hard i try. would u just let me know the truth.. how u feel? i just wanna knw.. even if it means breaking my heart, i wouldnt mind. i just want the truth. tats all. and i hope we would be frens again. close frens. i've always loved u like a bro. u even said we're like sublings. ryte? but what now? i love you more than my korkor u know.. and coz of u i think my relationship with my godbro.. was spoilt. but i didnt mind. i guess... AHHHHH~~i dunno wat to think. h.e.l.p!

argh! why cant i get him out of my head? i am trying to let go, but all i need to know is why he did that. reasonsss!! anyway, good news part. to cheer things up. went shopping the whole day. till kaki sakit. bought a dress. for rm10! and heck, its a beauty! hahahaha.. aiyah, ntg to blog d. WHY CANT I GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD? WHY CANT HE JUST EXPLAIN AND MAKE THINGS EASIER!?!?

okie.. so heres THE prob now : me, esper and eunice are supposed to sing for post pmr. but but but... we dunno wat song to sing. i reallly wanna sing 'more than words' partly coz.. its nice and i can reach the pitch and also coz the lrics are in my head d. but esper's not sure if she cna play it on d piano. they suggested 'only hope' by mandy moore coz eunice has the minus 1 cd i think. but i juz downloaded it and its so high! omg! im alto leh! haha.. and i very malas to hafal lyrics aso. hmm.. then sis suggested 'wonderful journey' by anastasia. its kinda nice. a song for disney movie or smtg. haiyoh~ so now we dunno wat song to sing. =X .. so hav to think think think!!! *hmph*!

aiyak~ my computer so slow. anywaysss.. im sick. muahahaha. aiyah~ sick abit oni. just now went to see the doctor *which is not necessary actually*.. and she was playing game! computer game! -.-" and halfway she said.. "alamak~ kalah lagi..." hahahahaha.. weird~ actually ntg to blog lor. no updates. oh yea, i cant get a job. ='( sad. it shows how evil the world is. no one wanna employ me. haha. so kesian lehhh~~ many of my frens got a job d. but many of them aso cant get one. i neeed $$$$. ish! geram!

anyone, if you're reading this and you know me, answer this: AM I THAT BAD? im just wondering. coz it seems tat i am. i dont know why. its not like i want evryone to like/love me, but the feeling and reaction im getting now, its so different. its not just ignorance, its like.. i lost my frens. those frenships, they sank. =/ what happened to those days when we were close to each other, put up with each other's nonsense, and cared for each other so much that we're willing to sacrifice our dreamland time? mayb its just.. perubahan masa/monsoon. but i cant believe this is happening. even the person i trust so much, the one i never thought would do this to me, they are all now.. living in their own world. well, i guess we have to move on huh. as for now, to take away my sorrowful memories and bad times, im counting on queens guide. oh boi, this thing is sure to make me busy and forget abt my 'frens'. =)

its 0218 hours now. i cant sleep. just watched devil beside you on youtube. tat guy is sooooooooooo cute! damn! hehe.. cute ryte? hehehhee.. i think i have a problem. im a green eyed monster. natural born. get jealous easily. bad huh? i knw.. but now im living by counting my blessingss i think. i dunno.. i feel so.. out of place, useless. my current mood : i need my korkor! he's cute. at times. =/ i wish i can put his pic up, but i dun think i have his. or mayb i hav, but i dowanna put it up! hahahaha! nitez people..

i thought i had many things to blog about. but i guess some things are difficult to explain. and some are better left unsaid. thai wei sms-ed me ytd, he said his band is looking for a lead singer. he offered me. i am still thinking. asking for people's opinion. some were helpful. some werent. many answered : its up to u lor. like heck, the purpose of me asking you, is to knw shud i or shud i not take up the offer. ish. geram. i knw its my choice. but its ur opinion! some were helpful. only ONE to be exact. geram lah! currently : no mood. wanna work. no $$ to shop. disappointed. pissed. tata~

whoa. so many ppl's bday n october. lets see.. 1st oct-kellvin 12th oct- emily, cinday gan, yuet siang 13th oct- wen chiang 14th oct- wendy lee, mum, mrkam 15th oct- my sis 26th oct- wendy chong hmm.. i think tats all. sorry if i missed anyone out. i have short term memory loss k. hahaha.. so, its 1258 hours now. i feel like going shooping NOW but im still in my pajamas. hahahaha.. =P

i did a big mistake today. a BIG one. when stamford college was in school. i terlepas cakap. crap. i knw kor wont like this. i dunno how to tell him. =/

oh guess wat. i cant sleep. and it 3.15am now. this sucks. argh!

hmm.. wanna look for a job. so sad. cant find one. =( i am actually VERY busy. in school: post pmr concert, car washing, collect and igve back $$. at home: sleep, queens guide. and i wanna work! aihz~ im so bored. tho im supposed to be finishing my folio now. =/ need to relax aso mah ryte. ahh~ this post sucks. haha.

alamak. aiyoh~ i have to piah for queens guide d. i am so dead. =X

oh dun bother abt the post before this. its pure nonsense. was just.. drowned by feelings. ahhahaha...useless feelings. so dont bother to read! =) tata!

dont bother

this is not a nice post. it will be boring and a lil wu liao. but i cant help it. =/ i actually changed my blogskin! haha! can u believe it?!? lmao. lame. haha. am so happyyy!! hehehehe.. took about.. 30 mintues i think. alot of editing here and there. but hey, im proud of myself! then after change d, i look around, i saw a nicer skin. -.-" 1st APRIL!!! aiyoh~ next day oni change lah~ malas.. hahaha.. i wonder why im writing this post anyway. oh yea~ hmm.. please, if u dont wanan waste ur time, dont read what im gonna say. ********************************************************************************* i remember the day we chat. u do? i remember when u were sad and down. i was so worried for u, as a fren, then. do u remember? and i remember the nite. 31st december 2005. u were lonely. or so. u told me you were. but someone told me you lied. im sorry but i trust myself more than i trust you. and i trust that fren more than i trust you. YOU LIED. TO ME. how could you. i was fine then. after all the next day you'll be gone. ryte? the memory still haunts me. u called me that morning before u left. u said goodbye. you were so sweet. oh how touched i was. and u were gone. i missed u terribly then. i was not as matured as i am now. then the week after that u called me. all the way. oh i was so surprised. but i cant deny, i was happy. too happy indeed. and that nite u called me again. saying good nite and asked me to take care. and again, i was super happy. i didnt knw why tho. i remember missing u like crazee, but i wonder if u knew? then there was a break. i waited for u. and everything went well. =) and i remember.. u promised to at least sms me before u're gone. again. i remember waiting so long. i was seated in fornt of the computer table. hearing THAt song. posting icons on my blog. was so sad that u didnt text me. i thought u lied. but u didnt. u texted me! and i was happy but at the same time sad, coz u had to go. later on, we didnt really keep in touch anymore. until u came back. i wonder if u knew.. i was going through hell every single day without you. i would tell ah kor abt it. until one day ah kor told me the truth. he wasnt the only one. buti betrayed ah kor and my frens and family. i trusted you. u came back, we werent as close as before. i wasnt bothered. i guess. i was busy in school. we met, eventually, after so long. and you didnt seem to care. people then mistaken us and thought of us as one. u lied to them. u flirted with me. u told me u already have a gal. i pretend to be happy, but u think i was? and i remembered, before my bday, when everyone was turning their backs towards me, i thought i had you. but you werent any different. u turned ur back towards me like everyone else did. but what could i do? i went to those who were close to me. and knw you. and i trust. and they would understand. there were a few nice people who made me feel better. i knw ah kor doesnt like this. but i was helpless. i felt so stupid. i was about to give up. u dont seem to care. i finally talked to my frens in school. to i knw they didnt like this kinda matter, they borrowed me their ears. i knw. thanks so much. then one night, i saw u online. and i knew tht was my only chance to get things straight. i did. i confornted you. but i didnt confess. mayb tht was the mistake. all i did was confront you. u admit that u sinned too much in ur past and said that you changed. i was doubtful. and then u told me, not to trust you. how could you? besides him, u were the one i trusted. i was so fcked up, i cried the whole nite. but did u knw? i guess u were happily enjoying ur moment. having another victim. i knew i couldnt stand it anymore.. u were just.. too cruel to be true. i couldnt believe it myself. **************************************************************************** im sorry. i cant continue. this is ripping my heart apart. im sorry. anyway i just wanan say thanks alot to my frens who were there for me when i was going thru the big storm. it was great to have you around. to the person itself, i knw u didalot for me, thanks alot. i dont know how to repay you. im serious. i really appreciate what u did for me. and for all the things i did that might have hurt you or anything, im truly sorry. i didnt mean to. you are a nice guy. but i choose to give up my feelings on you, and carry on with life. i wish u success in life, and hope u get what/whoever u want. im sure we'll still be frens. but u wont be treating you as i did. we never can. release me frm my past. =) woopss.. wat a post. ahhaa.. wasted my time. hmm.. am so bored. it 0111 hours now. cant sleep. duno why. aihz~ have got alot of things to do in school tmr. all post pmr programmes. i wanna go shopping! i wanna work!!! $.$ hehehehehe.. =P oklaahhh.. gotta go sleep d. HAVE to sleep no matter what. haha.. gotta go school tmr. =) nite nite

hello there..

ahh~ pathetic title. cant help it. haha.. its 0044hours now, monday morning. in approx 5 hours i have to wake up frm deamland, which i havent even visited yet, to go to school. hmm.. just got bored. so decided to online before going to bed. and while i was online-ing, i looked thru my frens list and reading people's blog and stuffs in frenster. then i realised i am actualy not 100% over him YET. so i decided to er.. sms him. haha.. just one of those forwarded message. i love doing that somehow. i used to do that alot to him, he doesnt give a damn. and i actually feel bad coz i just practically left him after like.. him.. disturbing him for what have been like.. a year. hehe.. despite the fact that he was such a jerk, i couldnt help it. perhaps im 75%over him. not fully yet, but i will, one day. i guess. then he called me back! wanted to tell him that i missed him, but i didnt do that. i dont want him to think that im a manja girl, and that he's soooooooo important. nah uh~ ahha.. oh~ see? i miss him already. aww~ this is bad u knw. hes in college now. he SHUD be busy. im freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! hahhahahaha...!!! im going crazee.. anyway theres this lil baby pic that yenyi sent to me. its so cute, that i think i change my mind. i think im gonna get married and give birth. haha~ if i can get the right guy/man for myself that is. =)hahaha~ esper is so gonna laugh so hard when she reads this. IF she reads this that is. hehehe.. oh my favourite's song on fly fm now! ahha.. oh heck, who cares. ive gotta sleep. its 0055hours now and ive gotta go school tmr. =)

hmmm

im nice. haha. thick skin. anyway, i dunno wat to blog la. after PMR so boring. can dieee... hmm.. so i was looking thru those icons. sad/angry icons. i find it stupid to lvoe someone who wont love you back. i used to be supid, now im wiser. ahakz! XD wen chiang has been sweet and nice these few days. haha. oh no worries, me and him, sekadar frens oni. =) partly coz noth of us ae bored aso la, since pmr is over d. actually i have lotsa things to do u knw. wan me to list out? even if u say no i'll list it out lah~ coz too free. 1. sleeeeeeeeeeep as much as i want. 2. exercise. lose weight! pmr made me extra fat! 3. work (kachinggggg!*****) 4. start on my queens guide. 5. plan for next year. (activities, tuitions, sleeping time, etc etc) 6. shopppppping! 7. enjoy life. online as much as i want. =) yea i guess thats it la. hmm.. the only thing ive done is, sleep, online, and window shop. hahahaha.. boleh lah~ not bad lor. hehehehe.. well, come to think of it, theres this guy that used to hmm.. wat cn i say? he used to hurt me but i still love him. now im over him. i guess. haha. miss him a lil. but not like last time. really love sick. ahhhahaa.. oh well, he sms-ed me that day. i replied, tho i was reluctant. =). told ya im a good gal! ahhaha.. aiyah~ ntg to write d. so boring.

what happened?

omg what happenned to my post i just added this morning. grr.. blogspot is so teruk lah! =/

kenapa? tak percaya ah?

i cant believe i sat for PMR today. it was like.. a normal exam. i dunno~ i even felt sleepy during paper1 bm. lolz. now now, dont even ask how was everything. it totlally sucked. all i can say is, i tried my very best, and the rest, is not my call. mum asked me how was it. i just said "cant do. just wait for results lor..".. then came home, dad called.. "how? paper 2 difficult heh?".. and i said.. "novel i nv read at all. wait till results lor..".. yea crap. kill me.

sorry

i have no idea why im doing this post. i just need to say some things out la. i guess. these few days i feel as if people have been turning their back towards me.. or perhaps im turning my back towards people. including me. i dunno.. mayb its juts me. being too tensed up and sensitive. i dont really wanna talk abt PMR now. its just less than 48 hours more.. it was raining the whole day.. perhaps God understands what i feel. yeah, only God understands. ahh~ i really dont know what to write anymore. some things are better left unsaid.

*swt!*

hmm.. people under stress.. eat alot? or. people havig problems eat alot? these few days ive been eating alot. dunno why. im not under stress anyway so yeah~ perhaps its THAT problem making me like this. but hey, look on the bright side.. i guess.. am getting fatter. kell vin says im so fat tat im fat to the max and cant expand anymore. -.-" .... yeah whatever. like i care anyway. i just cant get some things out of my head. abt my past. bad memories i guess. its killing me. argh~ ever esper asked me today, u in love ar? i said.. dunno.. haha.. well, i wasnt telling a lie.. p/s : i need a date to tht prom. would you be mine? love ya kor!

should i?

crappy.. pmr is 4 days away. my stomach is so pain now. these few days i rasa tak sedap badan la. smtg wrong with my body. -.-" anyway i got this offer for merit award. i dunno if i shud apply. hav to say its gonna cost alot but well, its for my future. i dunno.. i just cant concentrate on studying now. after i received the letter. i dunno! all i need now.. i mean, need to talk to julian. see what he thinks. argh! help! i think im getting sick.

sometimes..

i just dont know why i put that as my title, but yeah. whatever. am not supposed to be online. but again, whatever. had a nice chat with sis just now, in her room. ahhahaha.. we laughed like shit. tho didnt laugh that hard, but still.. some time off frm my ever relaxing schedule. haha. and i dun feel like studying. so heck it lah! i have the whole nite neway. i guess. unless i fall asleep. gah gah gah. i dunno wat to say. i think im crazee. some wires in my head needs repairing. or perhaps got short circuit. i dunno.. everytime i look at my parents, i feel like a bad daughter. mm.. oh btw, my pmr centre ketua is dad's fren.. sfi teacher. and one more invigilator is dad's fren again.. uncle lim. =). i knw who he is! ehhe. bluek bluek. dunno wat to type d. fell so.. confused. but yet, me very happy. but very sad. argh! dunno la wat to say. korkor iggy, aiyer! geramnyer!

love never fails?

Artist : Nick Lachey Song : I Can't Hate You Anymore An empty room can be so deafening, The silence makes you wanna scream, It drives you crazy. I chased away the shadows of your name, And burned the picture in a frame, But it couldn't save me. And how could we quit something we never even tried, Well you still can't tell me why. We built it up, To watch it fall. Like we meant nothing at all. I gave and gave the best of me, But couldn't give you what you need. You walked away, You stole my life, Just to find what your looking for. But no matter how I try, I can't hate you anymore. ...I can't hate you anymore. Your not the person who you used to be, The one I want who wanted me, And that's a shame but, There's only so many tears that you can cry. Before it drains the light right from your eyes, And I can't go on that way. And so I'm letting of everything we were, It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. We built it up, To watch it fall. Like we meant nothing at all. I gave and gave the best of me, But couldn't give you what you need. You walked away, You stole my life, Just to find what your looking for. But no matter how I try, I can't hate you anymore. Sometimes you hold so tight, It slips right through your hands. Will I ever understand? We built it up, To watch it fall. Like we meant nothing at all. I gave and gave the best of me, But couldn't give you what you need. You walked away, You stole my life, Just to find what your looking for. But no matter how I try, I can't hate you anymore.

maybee..

maybe.. im not menat to be in this world.

i wonder..

i wonder what God has planned for me. i wonder what he wrote in my bok of life before i even came into this world. i wonder.. its not like i care too much but i sure hope its some good planning, God! this shits im goiong thru now, i understand. i knw u do this for a reason. better days are ahead. i trust you. you happen to be the only person i trust actually, lord buddha. i knw i hav always turned my back towards you, but please trust me, i regretted and now im changing. please. i dont blame you for wats happening. but i knw, u hav better plans for me. i knw, i trust you.

i wan! i wan!

went shoppinggg. but didnt buy anything. oh wait! yea.. i got 4 pairs of socks! haha. big deal. went to adjst my specs. i wan new specs! i wan! i wannn!!!! i aso wan an ATM card, credit card, and my moto license! ahhaha.. i dun care! i wan! i wan! i wan means i wan! haha. nah~ tat can wait till next year. hehehe. these few days my frens and i seldom communicate. i wonder if its me, or them. mayb im thinking too much. like kell always say. i mean, i really feel the gap u knw. mayb its just exam fever or stuff. sigh~ oh talking abt exam, danial sms-ed me jus now. he said he has trials paper. frm so many states! im soooooooooooooooo jealous. shit la. so so so jealous. ahha do u people really like it when someone calls u 'dear', 'meimei', 'darling', and 'girl'. ahha. tell d truth, i LOVEEEEEEEE it! ahha. and aso when ppl call me as 'my girl'. haha. so niceee. blueks! love it love it love it! hahaha. even when its a girl calling me or teacher calls me tat. crap, i love it. feel so manja. hehehe. woops. gotta go study. good luck to me ya! lolz. and yeah~ i cant wait till HWC! ahha. muaksssss! i still love my korkor. ahha. and aso YOU!

feast for the eye

lolz. not really. was at mlk club playing squash with dad. then one BIG football team came. woohoo! ahha. okokla, kinda macho. haha. the match was between JPJ and EXPLORER. hehe. tell u, so nice man their body! ahha. nt VERy nice but just boleh tahan la. better then those ah bengs one. lolz.. too bad when i left after going to the gym they just started the match. or else, if i stayed till half time, foooo.. sure get to see their sweaty and nice body. lolz. hahahahhahahhaha. oh accoding to dad the JPJ goalkeeper was the former state goalkeeper. not bad huh. ehhe. soooo.. got ntg to blog d lah! i FAT d! ahhaha. as usual. bluekz! love korkor veli muchiee! hehehe

silent torture

just got back frm school! dunno why today so bersemangat. mayb coz last nite slept at 11 pm. supposed to wake up at 2.30am to study but as usual.. tak jadi. ahakz. so in the end i had 6 hours 45 minutes of sleep. in school today went library for the first period. whoa! nicee.. all the aircons on! so cold, yet so comfortable. hehehe.. i choose the seat where the air con blew.. so niceee! tee hee! XD . nyway, then had sejarah. teacher gave us a kertas model. hey, not bad la. i nv study, my makrs, okok la. haha.. then we did form 1 syllabus test last week. today we mark. not bad.. i tot i will get more than half wrong coz i didnt read form 1 *i NEVER did.. ehhe* but alas, i got only.. 5 wrong! wooHooo!!! hahaha.. was so happy. BUT, must work harder. strive for perfection. hehe.. sincerely, im kinda worried abt my PMR. its not like im trying to blow my own trumpet but everyone goes like.. "aiyo Elynn, no need worry lah you. sure straight A's wan la!" but too bad i dun think tat way. so does my parents, and a few people. hehe. oh well, its a way to make me prove to them AND to MYSELF tat i CAn do it! XD dunno why i feel so relaxed despite the fact tat PMR is like.. 20 days more, approx 480 hours more. i cant deny tat i hav some things tats making me lose my concentration. but i cant help it! how much i try to resisit, i just cant. temptationss! buddhism says one of the main cause of suffering is craving. hav to admit its true lor. haha. coz cravings = tempatations. ryte? lolz. went dhamma class yesterday. uncle dennis taught us meditation. one was concentrating on our breathing (too bad i didnt get to experience tat coz i lepak around temple! haha), nex was metta meditation where by meditating we kinda like spread love. yea, its hard to explain-lah! hehe. feel beter knw after all those. =) oh yeaa.. when i came home just now then sunway college sent me a good luck card! for PMR! aww.. so sweet. anyway, i wonder if exams are killing me. no, not coz of stress. haha. i am getting fatter coz i tend to crave for all those fattening food. eg ice cream, peanut butter, keropok, and chocolates! yummy! hehe.. oh and im officially stress freee! coz my preriod just came. i knw it sounds disgusting but.. if my period doesnt come means im under stress and i dun like it. haha. oh crap, later having swimming. ahh juz go into the water ni lah. aha. afterall, i always do tat wat! blueks! i knw it too early but im thinking abt nex year's tuitions. juz found out tat nex years gonna be a super duper busy year. tuiitons after school, koku activities, study, etc etc. i might not hav time to shop! argh! haha. dunno.. wanna take moto license nex year. but the one and only miss elaine suah ee leng poisoned my mum's mind into not letting me take moto license. coz accorind to the one and only might miss elaine suah ee leng (again), my far far far far far super duper far relative died coz of a moto accident. dun care. i still want my moto license! and i wan a new moto! tee heee! XD okie dokie, gotta go study. chiao everyone..

when it all falls apart

I'm having the day from hell It was all going so well Before you came And you told me you needed space With a kiss on the side my face Not again And not to mention The tears, the shame I should have kicked your Arse instead I need intervention Attetion to stop this itching to scream Cause baby Everything is left up straight from the heart Tell what do you do when it all falls apart Gotta pick myself up, where do I start Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart No, ooh Don't know where I parked my car Don't know who my real friends are Anymore I put my faith in you What a stupid thing to do When it rains it pours And not to mention I drank too much I'm feeling hungover Out of touch I need intervention Attention to stop this itching to scream Cause baby Everything is left up straight from the heart Tell what do you do when it all falls apart Gotta pick myself up where do I start Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart No, ooh Can't it be easier Can I just change my life Cause it just seems to go bad everytime With no demading No other ending I'm sick of it Everything is left up straight from the heart Tell what do you do when it all falls apart Gotta pick myself up, where do I start Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart No, ooh Everything is left up straight from the heart Tell what do you do when it all falls apart Gotta keep myself up, where do I start Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart No, ooh When it all falls apart No, ooh When it all falls apart No, ohh Everything is left up straight from the heart Tell what do you do when it all falls apart Gotta pick myself up, where do I start... i want you to be my knight in shiny armour! i love you!!

never knew

shit i feel so emo now. coz of studies. and i jus read jae's blog. i am speechless. be strong jae, be strong. hey and sam, study hard k. THIS is ur future. other things can come later. just concentrate on ur SPM first. as jae said, we all hope u do ur best and get the best. but now u hav to work hard. its all in ur hands. we're always here behind u as family members. u will always have us. please, just do ur best and get the best results. dun disappoint ur parents. god bless u. u will always hav my prayer.

bid around the bush

just came back frm school. had lunch with mum at the coffee shop near my school. in the car was 'debating' with my mum. she asked me abt my studies and stuffs. then asked me if i hav been doing past year questions. i kept quiet. i answered "not yet study finish". then the next thing i knw, she started saying.. "WHAT? at this stage? not yet finish? aiyo girl, i dunno wat to say la.." then she kept comparing me with my frens.. saying i'll cry till l=my eyes bleed if i dun get straights. yea, sort of true. then debate abt lots of things sumore.. almost half the journey. then it was suddenly silent, except for the radio, of course. then i asked ~ me : so u think i cannot et straight a's la? mum : no. not if u keep on going like this. i think u'll miss one. kh, or geog, or sej. me : *speechless* like wtf, yea i knw im lazyyy. but just tat day she said she knw i'll get straight. and now, say says no. okie fine! many many many many people thinks i cant get straights. u knw wat? I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU!!!!!!! yea i knw she's juz concerned. but cant help it. mayb wat she says is true la. aiyer. so sad and geram. received an sms frm someone this morning. so sweeeeeeeet. ehhe! blueks! okie. gotta go. wanna go club. tata

knight in armour

i want you! you! you!! i want you to be my kinght in armour! i want youuuu!!! gawd, im crazee. ahha. dreamt abt korkor last nite. so sweet. he was so extremely sweet. haha. *drools* ntg wanna type la. juz tangan gatal. lolz. love my korkor so much sialz. so hard to let go! ngekz ngekz~ ! im getting sick ler. today egtting worse. crappy sialz. aih~ hav got ntg to blog abt d. my tgn aso tak gatal d. chiaoz~ *2334 hours* im back! now im in my room with d laptop. i cnt believe dad jus told me.. "Hey, online online online.. everyday online.. no need study wan izzit? ur pmr one more month ni knw.." . i just answered yea.. and wlaked out of the rom. crap. i feel so.. useless. i really wanna talk to someone rite now but i dowanna disturb him. this is so ... confusing la! ish! okie, wanna read my geog. and kaji the kedah trials. btw, if any pmr candidates frm other states reading this, and u wan melaka trials paper, tell me k! leave a comment o smtg. and Lim Jae Mie, i wannnnn penang's trials paper la! help me laa~! taata

and the countdown begins..

well, not exactly lar. it started many many many months ago. ahah. aihz~ typed an entry this afternoon but the itchiness of my hands paaid the price. lolz. anyway, pmr is abt 3 weeks time. i dunno wat to say. ahha. my frens who seemed lazy last time, slept in class while teachers were teaching (including me), never complete thier homeworks ( me aso), and never seem to open their books for exams are now very hardowrking! excpet me of course! haha! i just hav this feeling in me.. the feeling of being uncertain, the feeling of being confident, but not very confident, the feeling of being able to do something, but having doubts, the feeling of fear, yet not that very fearful. i just dunno how to describe it lah~ all these actually berpunca daripada: PMR. That three scary alphabets! argh!! nyway, i was thinking abt my pmr. i dun think i can get starights tho people keep telling me to not worry. like.. HELLO!!! i only got 6 A's for trials. hwo can i get straights for pmr? aiyo. dunno la.. very keksim. everyinte i dream, dream abt getting bad results for pmr. its always negative wan. and worse, im falling sick! was in the bus just now, as usual. the guys smoked. but less d. coz mayb harga rokok naik. ahha. then my schoo girls were so different. coz of guys. so.. hmm.. i dunno, not their usual selves in school. oh well, girls.. and guys.. when it comes to this stage.. aih~ oh well.. hehe.. my frens hav been facing problems. i mean, my frens. most of those are personal problems. im sorry frens, tat i cant help. all i can say is, hang on babe, hang on. this will soon past. i knw u can do it! hang on k! i just wanna say tat i love everyone around me! everyoneeeeee!! yay!!!! hehe.. especially someone, i wan u to knw i appreciate u soo much! hehe! im afraid to delete ur messages coz im scared tat i would lose the one person whom will hear to watever i wanna talk abt. XD. love you! okie, gotta go.. chiao~

sowee

cant help it. hav to online. TRYing to make this d last time. today d 2nd sept.. pmr is oct 2nd. and im so relaxed. anywayy, i've not logged into frenster for a long time. coz it'll b addictive. been enjoying myself yesterday and today. so far so good.. only tat the humidity is murdering me. i dunno exactly wat to type here.. hmm.. so.. do u knw tat every nite before u sleep, someone thinks and worries for u? i believe tat. coz everynite, i worry for him, wondering wats gonna happen, coz his life is just not.. secured. i wonder wats it like to be him. everyday living in hell, worrying if anyone would attack myself. *phew* i worry everynite u knw, every single nite, before i sleep, i pray, for you. coz im afraid, i will lose someone soo important to me (well, other than family members la!). i duno why but i have never hated u despite the fact tat u ignore me, and dun say u love me at all, when i say tat i love you so oftenly. i dunno.. just feel so..cheated. but its funny how i dun get angry. at all. not once. ever. nowww.. i really dunnowat to type d. wish me luck ya in pmr! wish u people all the best aso! we can do it! muaksss!

pproud!

yay! i forgot to write this down just now. today when my pandu puteri girls walked out of school wearing full uniform and blck shoes. they look so smart! feel so proud u knw! haha! crap~ im crazy! haha

whoa

dunno why today feel so realxed. which is bad. last nite didnt really sleep well. was on bed at 12.30am but only managed to sleep at 1.30am. last nite suddenly had the fear. mayb coz i was thinking of thursday's exam. havent read a thing yet. so i was thinking abt HWc as well adnd how last year the f3's had to go out halfway thru camp to get their results. then suddenly my hands were all cold. i mean, im scared tat i wont get straights. what if i open my sijil and see all A's except one B? im scared.. then how i knw wor, my dream aso like dat. i dreamt, i took pmr results then see all A's on top. but as it came down the list i saw B. not one, but two! aihs. i was so scared lar! im not sure if i can get straights. im not sure if i can get a B or two. i dunno! its complicated this feeling. yenyi said havent sit for exam aso think like dat d. ahha. yea i knw, but i canot help it la ryte if god wants me to dream and think ok if early. mayb its not yet too late to work harder now. its not. i knw. someone promised me to be there for me, whether my results good or bad. i'll keep tat promise in mind. i will. p/s: heard alot of my frens got A for chinese! yay! very happy for u all! congratz ya!

too little too late

Come with me, stay the night You say the words but boy it don't feel right What do you expect me to say (You know it's just too little too late) You take my hand, and you say you've changed But boy you know your beggin don't fool me Because to you it's just a game So let me on down Cause time has made me strong I'm starting to move on I'm gonna say this now Your chance has come and gone And you know It's just too little too late A little too wrong And I can't wait Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late) You say you dream of my face But you don't like me You just like the chase To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late) I was young and in love I gave you everything but it wasn't enough And now you wanna communicate Go find someone else In lettin you go, I'm lovin myself You gotta problem But don't come askin me for help Cause ya know It's just too little too late A little too wrong And I can't wait Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late) You say you dream of my face But you don't like me You just like the chase To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late) I can love with all of my heart baby I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give) With a player like you, I don't have a prayer That's the way to live, yeah oh It's just too little, too late Yeah It's just too little too late A little too wrong And I can't wait Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late) You say you dream of my face But you don't like me You just like the chase To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

unfaithful

Story of my life Searching for the right But it keeps avoiding me Sorrow in my soul cause it seems that wrong really loves my company Hes more than a man and this is more than love the reason that this guy is blue the clouds are rolling in because I'm gone again and to him I just can't be true and I know that he knows I'm unfaithful and it kills him inside to know that I am happy with some other guy I can see him dying I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why Everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be... a murderer I feel it in the air as I'm doing my hair preparing for another day A kiss up on my cheek He's here reluctantly as if I'm gonna be out late I say I won't be long Just hanging with the girls A liar didn't have to tell Because we both know where I'm about to go and we know it very well cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful and it kills him inside to know that I am happy with some other guy I can see him dying I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why Everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be... a murderer His trust I might as well take a gun and put it to his head Get it over with I don't wanna do this Anymore I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why Everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be... a murderer

you!

yea so i had installtation today. ntg much. im FAT! oh crap. FAT FAT FAT FATTY ELYNN SUAH EE HUEI!!! bargh!!!!!!!!! geram! ok nvm, forget it. so yea, ahd installation. bloody it was damn cold in the hall shivered to hell. ahha.. sis, tasya, and yenyi came. oh well.. the rest of the ppl are the usual ones. then we had to send yenyi back. saw kell vin's car then after tat we met up with erhern to hav so called lunch. tea i guess. ate alot! hahahaha.. sis pay wat.. i dun hav money. hell, makan lor! haha... then in the car sis was asking me if i wanna follow her tonite. oh hm.. after much thought, yea! i guess i'll follow her later. haha.. this is life. but heck pmr is llike.. one month more. think im gonna fail! well but it holidays ryteee.. so er.. shud enjoy kua. but feel really guilty lor. nvm la, monday starts d then i piah like hell d. haha. hopefully.. hehe

grrr

wanted to post last nite but computer was too slow. so yeah ytd went seremban to shop. bought a blouse for today's installation, two shorts, and a skirt. it all came to abt RM82. haha. well, okk ler. but i bought the most la. lolz. having installation later. it starts at 2 but me gotta b there at 12.30pm. am supposed to giv a speech but not yet ready aso. haha. i'll ask help later i guess. lolz. anyway i really miss my godbro ler. i dun wats up with him and me now. and i think someone is blocking me. i dunno why but i just have the feeling laaa.. aiyer! so geram! oh btw, i fat d! coz yesterday didnt exercise and i ate two meals so i fat d. funny huh. well tats elynn suah. everyday must exercise and canoot eat more htan one meal. nah~ i guess i'll work it out when sch starts. hehe!

2.54am post

yeaakkss.. its 2.50am and i cant sleep! coz i drank coffee juz now. yea how smart of me to do that. then tmr wanan go shopping sure my mood no good. sighz~ anyway, i got the trial papers frm kedah. PHEW! so difficult ler! wow.. hav a feeling im not gonna get straights. but i just cant concentrate now dunno why. okie nvm, mayb i'll start tmr o smtg. i just cant believe their paper was so difficult! haha.. okie, elynn, sedar abit lah! so.. lets see.. ntg to blog la. im just bored. cant sleep. wanna read aso tak masuk otak la. hmm okk, since im toooo free.. lets see ya. i think i need to brush up on my : -KH -BM -science -geog -sejarah -maths? whoa tats alot! ive got around one more month! one more month! ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! crap. okie, im going crazy. panik sialz.

muffins!

in the process.. hehe TOO much chocolate chips! hehe the big ones before it was baked the mini ones before it went in the small ones! after it came out frm d oven! the Big ones!

frustrated!

argh! im supposed to be studying but smtg iz juz bothering me! i dunno wat it is! PMR is like one month away! grrr! watever, mayb after this would feeel betterrr.. korkor is officially ignoring me. im serious. im deeply saddened. hav to say. i love him so much. bah! for wat waste time on him now ryte.. ahh~ watever la. cant be bothered. luv him but he doesnt care. nvm then.. God knws whats happening. anyhow, here, in public, i would like to congratulate sfi buddhist society for doing such great job in creating their own website. here, go visit it: http://sfibuddhistsociety.tk/ its not like i've smtg with them tats y i wanna say congrats o smtg to them. i mean, juz hav a look at it la.. kinda cool knw. i mean, if i can do it, then it would be great! they're indeed so dedicated. mayb coz they're all frm the same gang. yeaps~ perhaps. but i juz feel tht thye did a great job.. tho theres smtg tat they dun like abt me, and i dun like abt them. but brava! its a nice site.congrats again. so i guess tats alll la. juz wanna let go sum things and continue to bury myself in tht KH book. and geog, and sj, aiyah! all the subs lah! chiao..

im sorry

im sorry i had to do that and that this is happening. blame me if you want to.. i knw its my fault. i just feel that this is for our own good. im sorry..

i really love you. i pretend to be strong, but deep inside, my heart feels like a crakced glass, gonna fall into pieces anytime. why? why are you doing this? i dowanna cry myself to sleep anymore. i dowanna wake up with those eyes. i dont want to. i just want you back. please dont do this to me. i lvoe you more than you know. i've got no one else to turn to now. im sorry if it was my fault. i promise to change. just dont leave me. i need you so badly. right now. and forever. dont make me cry again..

Di manakah pemandangan terindah di dunia? Puas ku cari setelah jauh melangkah Hingga takdir menyuluh ke arah mu Ku temu pemandangan itu terlakar di wajahmu Dengan setiap renungan Terpesona ku rasakan Dengan setiap belaianmu hati makin tersentuh Oh kasih, oh kasih Ku berterima kasih Padamu kerana menyempurnai hidupku Dan sakit dah sungguh aku asyik terjatuh Jatuh cinta dengan kamu Dalam berjuta-jutaan lagu Tiada satupun dapat menenteramkan kalbu Melainkan bila kau menyebut Ke telinga bahawa kau juga sayang padaku Dengan setiap lafaz kata Harapan makin menyinar Untuk kita bersama membina hidup bahagia Oh kasih, oh kasih Ku berterima kasih Padamu kerana menyempurnai hidupku Dan sakit dah sungguh aku asyik terjatuh Jatuh cinta dengan kamu Ku rasa setuah-tuah manusia Nikmati hidup dengan jejaka yang ku cinta

teman tapi mesra - Ratu

aku punya teman teman sepermainan kemana ada dia selalu ada aku dia amat manis dan juga baik hati dia selalu ada waktu untuk membantuku namun aku bingung ketika dia bilang cinta dan dia juga katakan tuk ingin jadi kekasihku cukuplah saja berteman denganku janganlah kau meminta lebih ku tak mungkin mencintaimu kita berteman saja teman tapi mesra aku memang suka pada dirimu namun aku ada yg punya lebih baik kita berteman kita berteman saja teman tapi mesra .. aku bingung! apa yang kau buat ini, apa maksudnya? hati naluriku memberi alamat buruk, kuharap semuanya hanya syak wasangka semata-mata. tak dapat aku nafikan, hidupku lebih indah tanpamu. namun, kekadang terasa juga ku ingin bertemu dgn mu, berdampingan dgn mu, berckap dgn mu, bersuka dan berduka bersama mu. kini ku sedar, semuanya hanya angan-angan, tak mungkin terjadi. ku akur dengan keputusan itu. tak dapat ku buat apa apa lagi ..

oh God.

i wonder why i put tat as the title. maybe coz i was juz looking into the dictionary for the word god brother. but to no avail. aww. so sad. oh wait. try to find if got the word 'korkor' hehe. *oppsss.. hehe.. dun hav ler* . was juz doind tat for fun. i really miss my godbro. saw his pic tat day. so kiut d. hehe. but too bad la.. *dot dot dot*.. anyway, i got bored of looking at books so dad gav me this cd. with questions inside. so i can use the lapotp to answer the questions. in my room. on my study table. yay! with internet access. double yay! and here i am now, doing this. *triple yahoo!* .. haha. big deal. been so caught up with studies and sum other stuffs till i cant really remember when was the last time i sat in fornt of the laptop, on my study table, with headphones on, full volume, listening to the best music on earth. like now. hehe. so lets see, trials juz over. which is kinda bad actually. didnt realy fair very good this time. dad brought back answers for me d. and for god's sake *sorry* my kh got 21 wrong! and tats the subject tat i really really study for trials after all this 3 years. sighz. but to my delight, the answers kerajaan gave had numerous mistakes, so dad's sch teacher will re-write all answers. *phew*. but my hope of getting a for kh is like totally gone coz i checked my answers with the book's facts. and im poven wrong. sighz. nvm. the rest are okay ler. not tat good. dad was kinda angry with me leh. he says i dont do enuf practices and exercises. ok fine! i'll do it lor now. hehe. and he doesnt really has the confidence tat i'll get straight a's. to tell d truth, i dun think i will as well. *SAD!!!!!* ok forget abt it. i actually am glad to be in mgss. sometimes. the teachers are great. no joke. i mean, i sms my teachers leh! haha. not for fun la of coz. got hal ma. juz now pn AY jus sms me. ahha. i love her. very cute. ehheh. a really nice lady. =) someone told me in sch today tat theres rumours/gossip abt me. and guess wat? i wasnt at all angry! despite the fact tat im menstruating now. and i actually laughed at wat she told me! hahahhaa. seriously, its the funniest rumour tat i hav ever heard. XD not gonna tell wats it abt.. go figure it out urself. ahahahaha.. juz now while shopping mum bought a pants for me. costs rm50. she says its ok. oklo.. buy lor. veyr nice. big deal. then went another shop, there was this dress.. ook ni la, but very nice. mum asked if i wanted it. it was expensive kay. and i seldom wear dress also la. then she said tat i muz dress up abit. ahhaa.. and i threw this question at her 'why? scared i no bf aR? scared no son in law izzit??? no need worry ler. hahaha" . she laughed. she said shes not worried. yea ryte. told her before i wont get married. hahahaha. frens say im a carrier woman. mayb. mayb not. see hwo things go. gawd,mum's great! haha! oh yea, went for LEo installation meeting today. they asked me to giv thank you speech. aww! how am i supposed to do tat? i dunno wat to say aso! nvm ler, lion wesley say can ask him. ahah.. oh well, dad can help me. i guess. then there was this pandu puteri meeting. or rather renjers la. president didnt ask to go. so no need go la. aihz. i really miss my korkor. i dunno why. i mean, we've never been very close, like some other godbro and godsis. but i dunno la. juz miss him. hey he's a nice guy kay. miss him so much. but well... *secret*. only god knws wats going on now. i can only wait with milllions of question marks in my head. sighz. sad. but wat to do.. i love you kor! very very very much! wanna see u soon! *cross fingers* oh well, im done here. gotta go do some stuffs. nitez everyone.

aiyayayaya

trials over. okok ler. dad scold me coz kh did badly. grrr. haha.. yea i knw im stupid k. grr... aiya. tmr got meeting. ish. btw saw korkor's pic d. so kuit. haha.. too bad.. *ahem* !

trials

it sucks. dont ask why. it juz does! bargh! so suicide lar elynn! no use living d lah!!!!!!!! p/s: i need you. korkor. where are u?

dunno laaa

suddenly so angry. dowanna go sch tmr la! stewpid man! argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wan my kor kor. i miss him. sobs.

koku day

im not supposed to be here now. supposed to be studying o smtg. anyway, today was koku day in sch. perbarisan was very meng-kan cheong-kan. lolz. no comments on d results. i was so tired. even laughing was out of my reach. lolz. didnt eat whole day leh. only one small packet of muruku. lolz aiyoh.. now pening lah! need my specs soon. hehe.. wanna sleep d lar.. nitez

*yawns*

im not supposed to be online. but cant help it. this saturday got dunno wat teknik menjawab in sch. frm 8am till 5pm. this is crazee. 9 hours in full uniform. im gonna be so so sick sialz.

long time d

its been a long time since i updated this. pmr is so near. dare nto spend so much time on d computer anymore. anyhow, surely need to relax a lil ryte. after this piah lo! hmm.. lets see. some people getting more and more lan si. dun care abt me d. holiday so long yet nv call me. lolz. lan si betul la! geram u knw! but dun care la.. this kinda people.. no need call fren also good la. waste time n money oni. here's a really nice song. yenyi sent to me this song before he went to college at semenyih. still love this song. very.. meaningful. so here are the lyrics : 2 a.m. and the rain is falling Here we are at the crossroads once again You're telling me you're so confused You can't make up your mind Is this meant to be You're asking me But only love can say - try again or walk away But i believe for you and me The sun will shine one day So i'll just play my part And pray you'll have a change of heart But i can't make you see it through That's something only love can do In your arms as the dawn is breaking Face to face and a thousand miles apart I've tried my best to make you see There's hope beyond the pain If we give enough, if we learn to trust Chorus I know if i could find the words To touch you deep inside You'd give our dream just one more chance Don't let this be our last good-bye somehow heart breaking situations will make u sad, but alwasy look on the bright side. there are so many people around you who loves you more than you knw. so appreciate them and live ur life the way u want to. make it more meaningful each day. dont be afraid to tell someone if u love them. dont regret it later, like i do.

psst

i knw my blog now sucks. PINK. yucks. gawd. haha.. cant help it. nex day when free oni change k.

sundays

i love sundays. a day full of motivation. serious. bm tuition at 8.30am.. and its good. then followed by dhamma class which is someimtes boring. but i like it coz i can learn lotsa suffs abt life. ok lets see.. bm tuition is seriously fun. tho sometimes boring. its funny u knw. i prefer to go for tuitions alone.. rather than to hav frens. mayb coz if frens are there then i cant concentrate. kinda happy tat dun hav sch frens at bm and maths tuition and i can concentrate well. bm lesons on sundays are totally fun.. for me lah. some idiots find it boring and keep on talking only. blah. fcked up sialz. sit behind me talk and talk non stop. hope she fails her pmr bm paper. like lah people no need to study. but well, who cares. i have got myself to entertain and i need to be focused. need to improve on tat. anyhow, bm teacher is so funny. he jokes around. which is so cool. i mean, wouldnt it be boring if he keeps on being serious. haha.. and he tells ur stories abt real people. and their achievements and its a good motivation. and his brains are good. better than mine. respect him very much. tho i hav to admit, sometimes i dun really agree with wat he say, and sometimes his method of teaching, the memorise the isi and ayat bergaya and bla bla bla.. btu its good. coz its chinese sch style. and me, being in a malay/english primary sch find it kinda low standard. and THEY the chinese ed people are mroe hardworking. but we kinda study smart. haha.. hey, its a fact okie!!! but well, i'll join in the crowd. but it good coz he's trilingual. speaks 3 languages. and i learn alot frm him. hehe.. i think im the only one who was frm SK school and not taking chinese paper for pmr. ahakz. anywway it would be a HUGE HUGE lie if i say tat i havent learned or benefited frm hsi lessons since form 1. i've learned so much. today, he told me and jun yu the sfi guy, saying people like us.. or rather A class students, generally lah.. if we dun get A then its not our fault. its the teacher's fault. it so true. his words are so true u knw! and now im kinda grateful tat i hav good tuition teachers. as for dhamma class, i feel more complete going there. wonder why. we learn alot laos. abt life. as for today, teacher told us abt studies and stuff, syaing we should take our life and bla bla bla. he also siad tat when we're angry we take drastic actions. which is ture. and he said dun feel scared or shy to share our probs. coz our shoulders are not big, we cant carry all the burden by ourselves. which is again, so true. and he mentioned abt teachers. he said malaysian students are pasif saying we dun ask enuf ques and stuffs. he said overseas students ask alot questions, making teacher work. tehn he sambung, saying teacher in malaysia now are getting gaji buta (very true) coz the students nv ask question. why? coz if students ask or say smtg tat he thinks the teacher said is wrg, the teacher will makr u, and then consider u rude, and bla bla bla. and tat is 100% super duper true! gawd. facts of life man! haha.. true isnt it? think of it again. dear teachers. haha. i seriously am grateful tat i hav good tuition teachers. maths, bm, and science. they're good. they guide me thru this difficult damn syllabus. well, not saying tat teachers in my sch are not good, but well, i prefer my tuition teachers. oh and dhmma sch teacher aso said, teachers nowadays are getting more lazy coz students DARE NOT (mind u, its not NEVER) ask question so parents hav to spend extra cash on tuitions. again, my dear readers, it true. ok, im getting out of point here. watever, i juz wanna say tat im really really really happy n grateful tat i hva good and great tuition teachers. without them, i might hav lost interest in studies. even now, going sch is like, wasting my time. i enjoy tuition more tahn sch. coz in sch, we.. ok nvm, forget it.

Saving Jane - Girl Next Door

Small town homecoming queen Shes the star of the scene Theres no way to deny shes lovley Perfect skin perfect hair Perfumed hearts everywhere Tell myself that inside shes ugly Maybe I'm just jealous I can't help but hate her Secretly I wounder if my boyfriend wants to date her She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band She is a cheerleader I'm standin in the stands She gets the top bunk I'm sleepin on the floor Shes Miss. America I'm just the girl next door Senior class president She must be heaven sent She was never the last one standing A backseat debutaunt Everything that you'd want Never to harsh or too demanding Maybe I'll admit it I'm a little bitter Everybody loves her but I just wanna hit her She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band She is a cheerleader I'm standin in the stands She gets the top bunk I'm sleepin on the floor Shes Miss. America I'm just the girl next door Oh and I'm just the girl next door I don't know why I'm feelin sorry for myself I spend all my time wishin I was someone else She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band She is a cheerleader I'm standin in the stands I get A little bit she gets a little more Shes Miss. America yeah she's Miss America I'm just the girl next door

ngekz.

elynn suah sucks. gawd. exmas are so near. tat day yenyi tegur me d. but still i nv change. this sucks. gawd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grr!

bleghzzzz

aihh.. so tired. malas wanna update blog. grrr.. hahaha.. update tmr lah! wanna sleep d. nitez.

today..

gawd. i have been working non stop since this morning. phew. juz now had prefects meeting. haha.. ntg much la. as usual. teguran yang biasa. and got one part iknw may liing was talking abt me. ouch! haha.. terasa sialz. anyway, yin chiu, dun worry la.. i wont tell anyone wan la. i not so bad wan k. hehe.. stamina dropped d. serious. my strokes in swimming and squash sucks. and i my muscle all kiat d. gawdddd!!!!!!!! damnit. all for the hard work. okie.. supposed to be studying now. i promised myself not to touch the computer for a long time but i cant do it. sighz. anyway i'll try my best. try oni.. haha.. muz start to piah d. so little time left. PLUS, the amout of hw teachers give. i can die young. life's short anyway. miss johnson and other people around me once said, 'god will only help those who help themselves'.. hmm.. i help myself with the food? lolz~ nah, jk. pathetic la. wanna ciao d. go study. tata p/s: korkor, why like dat le? i miss u la! love ya!

ngekz ngekz!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! thankiu ar yin chiu! yay! hehehhe.. i did it! ngekz ngekz! thanks so much yin chiu! anyway, we got our pmr jadual d. actually dad showed me a few weeks ago, but i kept it to myself. hehe.. i knw im bad. cant help it. sorry. tonite england's gonna play with Sweden in World Cup at 3am. i wanna watch la! the guys so cute! well, only a few. haha.. sighz. but i'll b sleeping like a pig by then. anyhow, eunice wanna go library to study this saturday. herm.. might follow her go. IF she is serious. haha~! just finished maths tuition. sit at there for 3 whole hours until backside also pain ah! tmr got prefect's meeting. torture. i dowanna go la! meetings sucks. serious. sumore drag till so long. until 4.30pm. hello?!? i have my squash, gym, and swimming ativity to do at 4.30pm wan leh! lawei. siaoz. bargh! hav to go d. wanna go study. *ahem*! hehe.. ciao

happy daddy's day!

today went for japanese buffet at EO. ngekz ngekz. hehe.. eat so much. so gemok d. ahha.. anyhow, ntg to blog. tmr schooling day. yay! ahha.. my hw all belum siap. as usual. yin chiu ar, if u're reading this ar, hehe.. can tell me how u link my blog to ur blog ar? thankiu!!! muakx -elynn-

phew

so long since i updated. lets see. results all also get back d. okok la. 75 and above. but very sad. hahaha. not wat i expected tho i nv study. lolz. last few days i have been very very irritating. i knw. ahha.. tho i was tired i still cuold sms and call people to kacau. sorry kell vin! haha.. didnt mean it. no more such things d la i promise. growing fatter d. tho on thursday i didnt eat during recess n unch and dinner. only had milk in the morning b4 sch and b4 swimming had a few pieces of kuih. tat was it. lolz. miscalculation caused me my meals. sighz. then today recess time didnt eat. coz busy tukar baju pj. lolz. lunch only ate a piece of kuih and abit of chocolates. hehe! then went to club to play squash with mum. then dad played with me. omg! dad's good! ahhaha.. then juz now went to auntie lucy's hse. she'll b back in UK nex friday. phew. gonna miss her. hehe! met korkor jake sean, weiwei and jake ginn there. tmr i guess i'll juz stay home to finish up my hw. kerja kursus hav to hantar nex week. great. i not yet start one thing also. ahha..

GIS

was in kl today for asean scholarship exam. not gonna say anything abt tat. haha.. but i wanna study in kl nex year if possible. they're damn smart man. trust me. anyhowww... sis is back. miss her a lot. last time. now well,,,,,,,....... grrrr!!! hahahahha! nvm.. forget it. sighz. missing someone. bleghz! oh yea.. korkor jake sean touch down juz now, now on the highway back home. weeeeeeeee! chocolates! niahahhaha! XD and im telling u dis, crap man! tat biatch juz told him 'im falling for u'? fuck it lah! hmph! i am not jealous.. i think. just wondering abt smtg else. hahahaha.. sch's starting on monday. yahooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha.. oh shit. hw not yet finish. big deal. i dunno how to do one question lah! it exactly 114 more days to PMR. PMR jadual waktu sampai d. dad brought it back for me. the papers which i dun like are in the afternoon. crap. sejarah. sure sleep wan. ahakz. ntg to blog d lahhhh!!!!!! veli angry errr!! so confused sialz. wat the fuck is she doing telling him tat man? grr!! ahhahaha.. ok, elynn, u're not jealous.

gah gah gah!

*phew* didnt sleep at all alst nite. ahhaha.. okie lets see. since im free now, i'll write smtg here. afterall nex few days no computer to use. sobs. okieee.. tat day an accident happened near my hse. dad and mum saw the two dead bodies. nasib i didnt see coz i was ta swimming lessons. hehe! nasib. but on the way back i saw the blood on the floor and the two spots of tat body. ewww... i didnt get any good sleep for the nex few nite. including last nite. ahha.. and both the victims were on motor. it seems a BIG trailer or however u spell it ran TERhit them then they fall down then kena gelek. ewww! and mum's student saw and told her tat the woman's face was gonneeee!! i mean, kena drag la. yucky. and the guy, well.. dunno and dun care. and coz of tat, mum took back her words. she said no more motor lisence for me. greatTTT!!! so, forget abt it la. herm.. today very free. wonder why. later going up kl d. havent packed. dad came in the first time juz now and i was putting on my cap coz wanted to camwhore. dad was looking at me one kind. ahhahahaa.. then the second time he came in, he asked me if i packed d not. well, i said not yet la. afterall ntg to pack wat. ahha.. he kept quiet and walked out. tmr sis coming back. the house is gonna be super duper noisy again. and kor kor jake sean coming back also. ahha! yay! chocolatesssssssssssss! ahha,.. hope he doesnt forget anyway. ehhehe! wooo.. i juz viewed calvin foo's profile. he has this pic where he looks like a nerd. gawd. ahhahaha.. wait, later i upload. ahah.. damn cute. heard he;s gonna send me to bkt kiara tmr. better wear a safety helmet in the car juz in case. ahakzz! im bad. today my mood very good leh.. dunno why.. ntg to blog d. tot had alot in mind. ahah.. haha! look at tht! lolz. sorry la calv. cant help it. ahha

*phew

ahhhh~~ last few days have been piah-ing. haha.. look at my boooks laa.. hahaa.. not enuf place to put d. sobs. lolz.

"What's Left Of Me" Watch my life, Pass me by, In the rear view mirror Pictures frozen in time Are becoming clearer I don't wanna waste another day Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes Yeah... [Chorus] Cause I want you, And I feel you, Crawling underneath my skin Like a hunger, Like a burning, To find a place I've never been Now I'm broken, And I'm faded, I'm half the man I thought I would be: But you can have what's left of me I've been dying inside, Little by little, No where to go, But going out of my mind In endless circles, Running from my self until, You gave me a reason for standing still [Chorus] It's falling faster, Barely breathing, Give me something, To believe in Tell me: It's not all in my head Take what's left Of this man Make me whole Once again [Chorus] I've been dying inside you see I'm going out of my mind Out of my mind I'm just running in circles all the time Will you take what's left Will you take what's left Will you take what's left of me? Just running in circles in my mind Will you take what's left Will you take what's left Will you take what's left of me?

"Photo" A photo can say a thousand things But it can't say the million things I wanna say A photo can capture the way we were But it can't capture the way we are 'Cause you're far away What it's like to know you What it's like to touch you When you told me that you loved me were those just words You can't tell me you don't need me and I know that hurts 'Cause I'm looking at your picture 'Cause it's all I've got Maybe one day You and me will have one more shot Timing lost minutes and moments And I might be lonely girl But I'm not afraid In a second It all comes right back to me Nothing's forgotten now Yeah everything's saved What it's like to touch you What it's like to know you When you told me that you loved me were those just words You can't tell me you don't need me and I know that hurts 'Cause I'm looking at your picture 'Cause it's all I've got Maybe one day You and me will have one more shot You were my life you were my faith You gave me hope every day When you told me that you loved me were those just words You can't tell me you don't need me and I know that hurts 'Cause I'm looking at your picture 'Cause it's all I've got Maybe one day You and me will have one more shot

life's okie..

well, last few days life has been okie i guess. ntg much. start to study d. real hard. bleghz. haha.. big deal. hehe.. hmm.. geografi is killing me. no doubt. with those maps, sighz. even after reading 3 geog books, studying tat damn peta, looking and memorizing it for an hour and a half, i wnet totally blank when i did tat latihan. sighz. anyway drank coffee d juz now so tonite im really gonna study till the thing gets into my damn bloody head. argh! im juz pissed la. why my memory so bad? haha.. tmr's the day to study sejarah. yay! serious. i loveee sejarah. ahha.. anyhow, me gotta chao d. a while more gotta continue my studying marathon. ahha.. nitez!

crap

great. in my whole entire life, my dad just told me a "NO". well, not really in my whole entire life lah! but.. but.. its been a long time since he said no to me. whatmore its a campfire for goodness sake! aih~ he's really pissed with me huh. sighzz today went to play badminton with esper, melissa, n wendy. then came home, bathe, bla bla bla, at 4.30pm went for squash, gym, n swimming. phew! my right hand and my right foot hurts btw. haha.. right arm coz of badminton, roght foot coz of old injury. sad. yea, i knw. haha.. this morning was really pissed with some people. dowanna say who la. juz forget abt it la anyway. oh oh! and dad actually gave me rm10 last ntie, but i lost it. i mean i dunno where i put it. tonite wanna cari tat rm10! ahha.. ohhhh.. gtg already. going out for dinner. niaahahhah!! fat fat fatty elynn suah! ahha.. chaoz

i miss you

sighz. i didnt keep to my oath. i contacted you. sighz. angry with myself. anyhow, after this i promise no more contacting you. i already deleted ur number frm my phone. haha! whatever! were you that stupid to trust me that im happy? im not my dear, im not. i just hate you la. i have no idea why. anyway i caught you telling me lies so yeah, forget that we're actually frens anyway. cant be bothered. tats it. im not in a mood to blog any further. p/s: i miss my kor kor who doesnt seem to care abt me at all. great. big deal.

for the past 15 years..

lets see.. for the past fifteen years.. 1 - 4 years old: only God knws what happened to me.*i forgot d la!* 5 years old : started kindergarten in wesley church. 6 years old : changed kindergarten to ske kindergarten. in march, went to england to meet up with dad. came back to msia by the end of the year. had a superb year. met many people.. leng chais *ahemm* made many frens, learned many things, went to disneyland paris! haha 7 - 9 years old : started primary 1 in mgs2 when i was seven. met my frens. who are still my frens now. excelled in academics thru out the 3 years. started tuition then. made more frens frm other sch and the opposite sex. met old kindergarten frens. laughed alot. was very fat. lolz.. had great fun. haha.. 10 - 12 years old : was made class monitor at the age of 10. by 11, was a prefect in school. 12, head prefect and tokoh murid. by 10, had my first crush *AheMMMMMmm!!* sat for upsr, got straight. got a new godbro. became closer to my frens. especially anselm and wenchiang. joined public speaking. won many competitions. btu no doubt lost many too. last day of school in mgs2, cried badly. was so sad. ntg much. was growing up to be a more mature person. hehe! 13 years old : started form 1 in mgss *not really the schoolof my choice*. however, enjoyed every moment of it. missed primary school. was really stressed out coz of certain stuffs.. expectations frm people. SUKMA ke-10 was on. started to slim down coz of one guy. *cough cough* yes, ONE guy. *winks*. missed old frens and teachers. cry often. got murid cemerlang award. was closer to anselm. ntg much. met new frens, as usual. ahha 14 years old : was made a probate. not my choice. anyhow, was a great year. celebrated my bday. got another godbro. enetered mssnm squash competition. saw many leng chais.. *ahemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm* ahha. went for my first campfire. sfi scouts. then kept on going for campfires thru out the year. one campfire to remember was sea scouts wan. went with korkor. but tat time not yet korkor. had miscommunications with frens. quarreled. but we're still frens. quarreled with a fren. not exactly quarreled. just choose not to talk to her anymore coz of some personal problems. visited bangkok. had mixed feelngs this year. u knw, teenagers. haha.. yea, had probs as well. joined work camp, met many many many new and great frens. hehe!!! frenship with anselm still like last time, but was closer to wen chiang and cheng kim. a superb year with ups and downs. moments either sweet or bitter to be cherished. 15 years old : installed as a prefect. asst sec to b exact. not really proud. very sien. lolz. anyhow, campany leader for pandu puteri 2nd coy. tail twister for leo club. this year is the worst one of all. no doubt. getting fatter. have no control of myself. getting more emotional and confused. joined dhamma sch. help alot in temple. many bad things happened. yet, i hanging on. always look on the bright side. spent first half of the year, which is until now, regretting things, missing someone, and playing a fool. another half of the year yet to come. hopefully elynn suah does change for the better. i guess tats all. juz have to change for the better. improve myself. =) till then, "age quod agis" - tat, is my oath. -elynn suah ee huei- -28th may 2006- -2037-

me? water polo??

exams sucks as usual. tmr last day of exams. kh, moral, and geografi. great. havent read one single thing yet. hmm anyhow, nex month will b training water polo for melaka club.. gonna play frenly match with dunno watch club.. me? waterpolo? niahahahahhahaha.. tats the biggest joke ever.. holidays are coming, but i got no plans.. dare not make plans. first, gonna b busy. second, sis not here. third, no one to go out with. fourth, im not sure if i have to mood to go out or not. sighzz i dunno.. these few days have been hell. im serious. i sometimes think its much better if i just leave everything and juz go somewhere else. hiding frm everyone. i dont know!!!!!!! i juz wanna think things over, but exams are soooooo taking up my time. im typing this now coz i need someone to talk to, but no one is here. juz chatted to korkor.. after such a long time. laz time i chat to him was 27th march.. o smtg like dat. anywwy juz found out that nex month he's going up kl. this is seriously so sad. after coming bck frm ns, cheng kim is gonna study.. he says will b going kl most prob. and tat really made me sad. no joke. i mean.. argh! watever la.. juz the thought of it makes me so sad. im not contacting someone anymore.. i mean.. i havent been contacting la.. i juz found out smtg lor.. very sad..but happy for him. i guess people live their life so much more peacefully without me. happy for them. anyhow, me have to go and study already. tata. all the best. age quod agis. ELYNN, jia you!

im lost

i feel so lost. somone isnt talking to me. not even replying my sms or picking up my calls. and don wanna talk to me. another one is yeah, like usual.. tak ngam with me. korkor is ignoring me. why for gods sake now? why is this happening now? i just dont know la. wanna study alos no mood. rgh! wanna go jog first.. see if i feel better after tat..

kill me!

for some reasons, just slap and kill me. i apprecite it. very much. trust me. i am the most useless human that had ever existed. i know myself better than you. dont deny tat fact. thank you. end of story. bye bye.

exams

exams are sucidal. i think im gonna fail my bm and maths. end of story. dun ask so much. and to make things worse, this is discouraging me. tmr having sejrah paper and i havent read one single fact. big deal. tonite no need sleep. nitez. end.of.story.

beautifully broken

engkau telah mensia-siakan kepercayaanku terhadapmu. tidak mungkin kau berpatah balik lagi. jika ini yang patut ku terima, adakah adil jika engkau mampu tersenyum sedangkan ku di sini ku merana dalam hatiku yang telah luka olehmu. so yeah.. i dont know why i like writing in BM. sounds more nice. ehhe.. sometimes i find english language really pathetic. especially lessons in school. nope, its not the teacher's fault.. its just... i dunno.. very low standard i guess. and our paper 2 is so boring. we're supposed to write an essay.. and we have no choice while BM paper.. we have a choice. unfair isnt? haha.. i knw i knw.. this IS malaysia afterall.. but i guess i love BM so much! and i wont fret anymore.. lets see.. ntg much has happened.. only a few minor minor wan.. but nah, it wont b anyhow interesting to blog. school is as usual.. busy as usual.. despite the fact tat exams are this wednesdy, i seem too relaxed. haha~ expect to fail every subject i guess. well, as for myself... after wesak day.. i am a lil better i guess. doing better juz tat i am putting on weight! wah.. geram mannn!!!! fatty elynn. seriously.. i can my face getting fatter and bigger. haha.. nvm. later got swimming training then tonite perhaps i dance or smtg. hehehe.. and no doubt im missing someone dearly.. just a fren but yeah, miss him loads. more like a big bro actually.. his absence have made me a stronger person.. i guess. haha! only god knws la.. hmm.. i guess tats it la.. just need to really settle down and concentrate on my studies. im better now i think.. only tat there are some disturbance such as.. pandu puteri, kerja kursus, and homeworks.. haha.. as for now, i think i better chao and do my homework first.. or else i wont hve the time to study tonite. XD till then, god bless. muakz

God caught me at the right time..

god saw my weakness and caught me. god is testing me.just when i am weak, god caught me and gave me more and more test of life. i dont know. i used to be like this last few months. then for a while, i was so happy.. problem free. but now, everything seems to be turning its back towards me. why? i just dont get it. even going to school and seeing my frnes sometimes get on my nerves. i just dont get it. esper said to me that day.. "u're having the time of ur life.." well, what she means is, i am not really bothered abt poeple now. i think so thats what she meant la. yes, i have no sense of urgency nowadays. im letting things influence me easily. sad case indeed. i knw. but i just cant help it. mayb its part of being a teenager? but i dun see my frens being like tat. argh! really really frustrating whenevr i think of this matter. on the other hand, im really addicted to squash. ahha.. and swimming too. wonder why.. cant get enuf of squash. i fel so satisfied when i hit the dman ball so bloody hard. guess its a way to let go la.. since everyone is expecting something frm me. everyday pressuring me.. damn stressful la! hmm.. ntg to blog d. i actually wanted to let go everything in this entry but i guess its easier said than odne. or mayb i just wana keep some things to myself. coz as my TEACHER said, im too outspoken. yea ryte. watever laa.. if being outspoken is wrong, and being too quiet is wrong, then this world is never gonna improve man. anyhow, stop abt tat teacher la. i guess my emotions are all mixed up. wanna talk to someone but i knw he wont layan me la.. he with his gf.. too busy d. another one, is in NS.. cant talk to him. but if he's here i MIGHt call him.. so long didnt talk to him d. hehe.. and he was the one i turned to whenevr i had to talk to someone. the other one, also busy. wont layan me wan.. will only layan my sis.. the other wan, dowan me as his mei mei d. sad case. and yea, korkor doesnt want me d.. tats one of the reason why i am sad now. just dunno laaa!!!! i guess i dont wanna continue d. tooooo mixed up. ahah.. k lar, wish me luck in my exams k! tata~ muakz!

aihh

juz got back frm squash. tmr got finals. team event. against ijc A. aihs.. no comment. at maksak my eyes had a feast. BIG feast. haha. if you get what i mean.. ehehhe.. anyway, lks lost. sad man! felt like crying when he lost knw! so sad.. but too abd im not close to him la. haha.. if im really really close to him then i might shed a tear or two. ehhehehe.. so tmr my game will be at 3pm. which is like sooooooooooooooooo late. aihzz.. k, im really tired now. i knw these few days i have been disturbing tkv alot. sorry lar! dont mean to! promise no more such things after this k! hehe.. anyway, i've got swimming training now so yeah, keep in touch!