moving...

The time's come to close the "Dougal Family Blog". We'll be shooting for a little more anonymity in the future and as such, will be changing our address to mygardengrowing.blogspot.com/. Hope to see you there!

Love,

Niki

A house full

Except that they all stayed in a hotel. But theoretically.. in the daytime anyway, we had a house full. They came for O's blessing and it was such a nice weekend! Everybody left too soon and in the end, it just left me wanting more.

More family.. more beach days..
more time together.
This picture makes me laugh. It's my sister and I with all of our kids. From the back you really can't tell the two of us apart. Come to think of it, you can't really tell us apart from the front either! I love how it messes with our kids heads. See how I am? I enjoy the simple pleasures in life. You know.. cool sand on my feet, a salty ocean breeze.. and messing with my kids heads whenever possible.

windows to the soul..

In case you haven't noticed, I've been messing around with portraits lately. Trying to get closer and closer and closer! Which is hard when your kids are so darned wiggly. And start crying and dodging and beating themselves about the head as soon as they see your camera. *sigh*

I just love those super shiny eyes. And Owen's are especially fun to look at. They're just.. well, huge really. And so expressive. He's smiling and laughing now which completely slays me. I get nothing done when he flashes me those eyes and starts flirting. The kid is merciless. And I absolutely love it!!

red, white, and blue

Since I seem to have no life other than washing, teaching, cleaning up after, and obsessing over my children, (oh.. and loving them of course.. lots of that) this was the best I could do for the holiday. A little red, white and blue to celebrate this glorious 4th of July.

There is something about the word freedom that pulls at the very center of my heart. I don't feel eloquent enough to do it justice. I love my God and I love living in a country where I'm free to worship Him however I choose. I'm just thankful.. so very, very thankful...

Owen

We blessed Owen this past weekend. Such an awesome experience! It's like getting a little glimpse into the man he'll be someday.

So here's to you Little Man. I don't think we could love you anymore!
Ok, maybe just a little bit more once you start sleeping through the night.
I'm addicted to these youtube videos the Church puts out. They are so good and make me cry nearly every time. In a warm, fuzzy kind of way.
Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God

My kid's Dad..

I know it's sentimental. Ok.. totally, disgustingly mushy.. and I'm sorry. Really I am.

But I wanted to post some of my favorite pictures.

And a poem. He'll tease me about this. I know it. But he'll also smile later when he thinks about it.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love with a passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

EBB

Happy Father's Day Punk. I love you!

And if you tease me.. I'll be even mushier next year.

Tell me a story..

Honestly, I can't really remember what the story was about. I was having too much fun watching her tell it.

I remember cheese eating dragons and something about bubbles.

Main characters: somebody named "Whatever", "Dum Dum", and Philip.. I think.

Whatever her story was... I can promise you..

it was very, very

Dramatic.

Little Man is three

The older he grows the more I see how very different he is from his sisters. I'm learning to speak his language. He talks so much less. Grunts and growls mostly. And car noises. Lots of those. I can't keep his fingernails clean for the life of me and only make him take a bath a couple of times a week. With him I'm learning to pick my battles.

But he makes the best dinosaur noises in the world and will play with me anytime, anywhere. His kisses, although rarely given without trickery, melt my heart to pieces and I could listen to him laugh for the rest of my life and be perfectly content.
I'm learning that little boys are determined, playful, active, little things. And this little guy is especially so. He thinks his Daddy is the most incredible person in the world and grieves every morning when he leaves for work.
Then celebrates every night upon his return. Happiness in this life is deeply tied to hot wheels, bikes, dinosaurs and the timely return of his daddy. Here's to another year little guy. I can't wait to learn what you'll teach me next.

camera shy

My kids have experienced over kill with my camera.

This is the face he gives me now.
Aww... come on honey! Just smile for me! Not even a little one?
Okay. Fine then.. I'll move on to my next victim.. ahem, I mean model. He can't run away.
Hello Angel Baby. Oh.. did I wake you? Don't mind me. I just want to take your picture.
Oh come on! Six weeks old and he gives me the hand. This kid is just like his brother!

Babies don't keep

I've been thinking of my Mom today. For the last few weeks actually. Each time we welcome a new baby, the missing starts all over again. She passed away when I was seven months along with Sarah, my first. Little snippets of memory sneak up on me and I wish... I just wish it could have happened differently. That she could be here to rock my babies and drive me crazy like only she could.

I remembered something last night. A time when I came home for a weekend visit from college. She'd been fighting cancer for a couple of years already and her health was poor. The house was a mess. A dusty, cluttery mess. I found her out in her garden rocking her grandbaby in a swing. And I was bothered by the house. By the mess. Why couldn't she just pick up a little before spending time doing something else? Childish thoughts coming from a twenty something child. She was singing nursery songs and bouncing her baby up and down. The afternoon light was just right and they looked so peaceful and happy.
I held my newborn son tonight and breathed in his lovely baby smell. I kissed his perfect mouth and felt a Love so strong it actually hurt. I thought of you, Mom. As I surveyed my messy house I laughed at the lesson it took me ten years to learn. Babies don't keep. I know that now. Thanks for your example Mom. I love you and miss you so much tonight.

My New Life

I watched this tonight My New Life and wanted to share it. After three weeks of sleeping in hourly stretches and feeling the fatigue build night by night, I really needed to hear this. Perspective. I just needed a little perspective.

sisters

My sis came and took care of me for a few days after Owen was born. Her life is so busy and I really wasn't expecting anyone to come. But she did. And I cried all night after she left.

Punk!

You really shouldn't do that to a postpartum, sleep deprived, semi-stable lunatic such as myself. But I'm so glad you did!

morning poetry

"Earth's crammed with heaven,

And every common bush afire with God:

But only he who sees takes off his shoes."

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

When I get bogged down in the day-to-day of raising five children, I try to remember this poem. I want to have eyes that see...

The men in my life

Not much to say. I'll just post a few pictures of the men in my life and be done.

I couldn't help it. I laughed so hard at this picture! Babies make the most awesome faces! This boy's got some serious chin.

And then there were more..

Just seconds after his birth she laid him on my stomach and asked me if it was anything like the first time. And I wasn't sure what to say. The first time was glorious and new. I was full of awe and felt closer to God than I ever had before. But also overwhelmed and uncertain. Afraid of not being strong or wise enough to give this little person all that they would need.

No, of course this wasn't like the first time. I now know with certainty I'm not strong or wise enough. But I also know it doesn't matter. I have enough. I left the fear and uncertainty somewhere in my twenties, and now I just give what I have.
Is the sense of awe still there? That feeling of nearness to God on the day Owen was born? Absolutely! Everything about it was absolutely right. As I watched my five children on the day Owen came home, the feeling of Joy was unmistakeable. We need him and he needs us.

Owen Jerold Dougal

born April 16, 2010

7 lbs 14 oz

Egg Hunts and such..

Some wonderful friends put together an Easter egg hunt the other day. As soon as Ty realized the eggs had candy in them... he was ripping up that field like a maniac!

He collected three times as many eggs as his sisters and was not happy when I tried to explain the ten egg maximum rule. It's the Egg hunt rules that try to keep it fair. Poor kid! He's not really into fair.
This is Lauren's best friend in all the world. When the two of them get together, the rest of the world falls away and all is right!
My two little reds with all their booty!
And the candy fest begins! There are times when I think my kids eat their body weight in candy daily. People give it to them wherever we go. We need t-shirts that read Please don't feed the kids! And so.. as the "no fun candy nazi mommy", I give them one day until it all mysteriously disappears.
Ok, I'm done now. Thanks for listening. Cranky candy attitude aside, it was a beautiful day and we had a lovely time. I just love spring and sunshine and good friends! And candy. It's a love/hate thing with the candy. Truth is, I throw away all the kids gross candy, but I keep the good stuff for my own personal stash. I know, I know.. I need therapy. Or weight watchers. I should stop now. It's late and my filter gets thin. Good night dear friends!

Monday morning thoughts.. and other random nonsense

1. I am currently the size of a small house and that's all I have to say about that.

2. My husband told me I should write a post containing jokes for and about pregnant woman. Only problem is my wonderful father-in-law checks my site occasionally and most of my funny comments are also inappropriate for the general public. Especially the male variety of the public.

3. By the way, Brent thinks my comments are funny. I do not. He laughs because he's not sure what else to do. And unless I'm crying, it's the safest response.

4. These pictures have nothing to do with anything I'm saying. I just like them.
5. I want to say something about public school vs. home/charter school but can't open that can of worms right now. We enrolled the girls in public this year so I'd be free to experience morning sickness without distraction. It was the right choice, but.. but ... oh the turmoil of it all!

6. I've never actually paid for a pedicure. I mean, we're talking about feet here. Is there really anything you can do to make feet more attractive? It's like putting lipstick on a troll. But maybe the experience is the attraction and not the polish? I think I may try it.

7. My wise sister told me when you're the size of a house and feeling like a troll, the only thing you can do is get a good hair cut and a pedicure. You work with what you've got sister! Did I mention she is very wise? Man I love her!

8. That's it for now. If you're still reading.. I'm sorry.. Please stop now and go do something productive.

A conversation with a four year old..

I bought a candle the other day and here's the conversation that followed.

-That's cool Mom. I can scratch my name in it!

- Nice, but let's not ok?

-What's it made of Mom?

- Wax.

- Ear wax?! Disgusting!!

-No, no... you know, like bee's wax.

*thoughful silence*

-You mean, Bee's ear wax?!!

Fog

It's lifting. The fog is finally lifting! And it feels so wonderful to be Me again! Please excuse the drama, but after four months of morning sickness (I'll spare you the details) and another month of migraines, it just feels so good to feel good! I'm now somewhere close to seven months along and unisom consumption has gone way down. My children and my hair and my.. ahem.. girth have grown considerably and for much of the day I feel like myself again.

Somewhere in those seven months my baby fully mutated into little boy. When exactly and how, I don't really know. I never gave him permission, but he went and did it anyway. He's all opinionated now and has the strongest passion for cars I've ever seen in a two year old.
I love it actually. No teddy bears for him. It's his hot wheels he sleeps with. At least he comes by it honestly. Tyler comes from a long line of mechanics, machinists, and car lovers in general. I'm pretty sure it's something in his blood.
Come here you handsome little kid! I need to kiss you now!! I'd tackle him and wrestle but my pregnant belly might accidentally crush the little thing. Besides that whole wrestling thing is his Dad's department. Oh by the way, we're having another little boy. There is balance in the universe after all. Happy Thursday everyone!