That Carpet’s Very Crooked

And So Too Is The Bloke Wrapped Up Inside It

A crook in Warsaw, Poland tried to dodge a police search by disguising himself as a carpet. He rolled himself up in a giant rug and propped himself up against a balcony wall. After a two-hour search, a detective went out onto the balcony for a smoke and noticed the carpet was trembling.

FOOTNOTE: Starring roll.

A Smile On Your Dial-Up

Nice Street, Pity About The Connections

A Polish man who bought a house on Internet Street, Warsaw, is selling it - because he can't get a broadband connection. Andrzej Gromek said: "I have written dozens of letters to the national telecom regulator. At first they thought it was a joke."

FOOTNOTE: Dot come.

Badly Trained

Blight At The End Of The Tunnel

Bungling engineers have been left red-faced after building a railway tunnel that's too small for trains to actually fit through. The costly mistake was only discovered when inspectors measured the finished tunnel in the Polish capital, Warsaw, and realised the roof was so low that no trains would get under it.

FOOTNOTE: No emergency measures?

In For A Penny, In For A Pound

Drink-Driver’s Timing Was Off

A drink-driver was arrested in Poland after he stopped to ask an off-duty policeman the time. But when the man, 23, sped off after the officer asked him to take a breath test, he drove straight into a police pound. He then got trapped when the pound's automatic door closed behind him. The man had been on a boozy trip with pals in Warsaw and the subsequent breath test showed he was double the legal drink-drive limit.

FOOTNOTE: The length and breath of the country.