Why it's cool to be warm..

If you want to be happier, turn up your inner central heating. That's because it's the warm and affectionate among us who truly attract fulfilling opportunities.

You can buy sex appeal. you can learn charm. But genuine warmth is worth much more - after all, it's all about having a relaxed attitude and not taking yourself too seriously. warm women give the impression that what you see is what you get(WYSIWYG), that you are seeing the 'real' them.

Warm women don't pretend to be something they're not. Which is why so few women under 30 exude true warmth. In our 20s, we're too self-absorbed and too busy promoting an image the world will approve of.

But as we grow older, so does our ability to radiate warmth. Warmth is one truly alluring quality that is more easily accessed with each successive birthday. And yes, we should be cultivating this asset. Why? In tough times like these - with an economic recession, depressing job cuts and gloomy news headlines - real warmth carries us through.

In difficult times, warmth is wonderful shortcut - it helps you engage with people and forge firm relationships quickly when you're under pressure. Good relationships are the foundation of business success and personal happiness. People with natural warmth should realise what a wonderful gift it is - and how silly it would be not to let it show.

Warmth will also open doors as it is the gateway to a bulging contacts list. For women especially, our natural warmth is a great ally in more productive networking.

There are three body-language signals that convey warmth - smiling, nodding and being tactile - which are magnified in warm people. Smiling is an unequivocal sign of approval. Nodding is more interesting: Even if you are verbally disagreeing with someone, they'll feel that you approve of them and feel warmer towards you - as long as you're nodding at the same time.

If you want to be memorable, let your warmth flow through. You never know whether the next person you heat up will be the one to introduce you to that new job, friend or opportunity.

Drink Damage Control

Drinking until you're tipsy or drunk is not good for your brain or body, so help your guy keep his drinking under control (and cut back on your alcohol intake too). To avoid overdoing it when you're out socilising, slash the amount you both drink by:

AVOIDING SALTY FOODS: As well as being high in fat, they create thirst, which you will then tend to quench with more alcohol.

ORDERING HALF 'N HALF: E.g. half champagne/half orange juice, a spritzer (wine mixed with the tonic water) or a "spacer" - a soft drink or iced water after every glass of beer or wine.

AVOIDING SPIRITS AND COCKTAILS: Their alcohol content is higher, particularly if combined with fizzy mixers which send them into the bloodstream more rapidly.

THINKING SMALL: Ask for the barman to pour no more than a 100ml glass of wine or a half nip of spirits.

EATING FIRST: By making sure you're had a good meal or at the very least, a breadroll before you drink, you will metabolise alcohol a little more slowly and are less likely to get tipsy, throw caution to the wind and get drunk.
STEERING CLEAR OF HAPPY HOUR: If the drinks cheaper you're likely to have more.

EMPTYING YOUR GLASS: Don't allow anyone to top up your glass before you finish it or you'll quickly lose track.

Need specific self, career or relationship advice?

Here are some tips from the experts.

Self: Reaching our potential is something we should all strive towards - and, in reality, it's a lifelong project. Aim high and remember that this can be measured in variety of ways, including health, happiness, financial security, purpose and quality relationships. We all need to look after ourselves, but we don't want to be selfish. Similarly we want to love and care for others, but not at the expense of our own health and happiness. Real contentment can be achieved by balancing the two.

Career: Be realistic; as there may not be as many opportunities available at the moment. rather than abandon all your goals , focus on you career values. Identify what's important to you: Money? Helping people? Flexibility? Feeling challenged? Then look at your current circumstances to find ways of working towards these mini-targets. If assisting people is important, investigate a mentoring programmed; if you you want to feel more challenged in your job, ask for more complex work. Being proactive pays off!

Relationships: The most successful people in life will have better-quality relationships and more of them. They actively focus on developing, fostering and maintaining those relationships in their life that are important. They do this by do this: focusing more on the positives in others; being clear about the nature and purpose of each relationship; frequently praising others; and communicating more effectively. So brush up on these skills and you'll reap the rewards.

HURT Alert!

Don't set yourself up to be hurt in your next relationship. Minimise the chances of a romance ending badly by:
Trusting your intuition: If the guy you're seeing is a serial flirt or has a tendency to talk only about himself, don't ignore it - take a walk now before you get into deep.

Taking your time: Don't rush into having sex or revealing your entire life history to a guy you've just met - wait until you know each other much better - then you can be sure he deserves to have this level of intimacy with you.

Being honest: Once you've been together for a few months, make it clear that you're not in the market for a fling - and ask him how he feels about that. If he runs a mile you'll immediately know there was no future in the relationship anyway.


Giving him space: Resist the temptation to smother him in an effort to make the relationship work. Be cool about giving him his space - and he won't get scared off due to a fear that you're trying to take over his life.

Keeping quiet about past disasters in love: Don't tell him that you've been dumped a millions times - it will encourage him to see you as a victim and he may start to treat you like one. Wait until you've been together in a committed relationship for quite some time before you open up about those previous ill-fated romances.

Seeing yourself: Avoid pretending you're someone you're not just to please him - eventually when yours true colors show there's a chance he will either feel irritated that you were not being straight with him or will feel he can't trust you and break off the relationship.