This month, we
officially have all the money in the bank that we need, to pay
CASH, for our
25K adoption. 25K...yes, I just said that. I can hardly believe domestic adoption costs that much. We already had to pay 13K up front. But when our adoption agency places the baby God has for us in our arms...we owe the remaining balance. Then.
Right then. Gulp. I've been nervous about that, wondering what would happen if we were 1K short???...I haven't even wanted to ask. I think they would've let us pay it out...but I just didn't have the courage to ask. Which is weird. I am very much a frugal, out loud, up front, ask any and every question about money with no qualms, type of person.
...And for that, I owe my
parents. Words really can't express the gratitude I feel to and for them for this and the many other things they taught us.
Growing up, we were financially pretty tight. I saw it on a daily basis. I learned from it...I learned
THRU it. It has helped me in my life tremendously.
(side note: I'm writing about this because I want to remember it. I want to document it. It's a part of our adoption process. But if in writing it, I can help someone else know that financial goals are possible...GREAT.)
#1 reason for our 'tight-ness' was that my mom was a stay-at-home mom for my sister and I. That's neat. My dad was the sole provider, financially. But
they were a team....no matter who worked at home, and who was in the work force.
#2 reason is that my parents were
SAVERS and
GIVERS.
#3 reason is that the "extra" money in our family was always saved for memory making....our vacations. Plain and simple. We had the most special, fun, memorable vacations.
Memories are what last...not things.
#4 reason is that my dad was utilizing Dave Ramsey principles WAY before anyone even heard the name DAVE RAMSEY. I love Dave Ramsey, watch him when I can, listen to his radio broadcasts when I catch them, have read one of his books, and think that the world would be a better place if we could all apply his great knowledge....DON'T SPEND WHAT YA DON'T HAVE. My dad was doing that way back when...just sayin'.
Was it easy for my parents to model that? No way. I saw both of them go without things I know they would love to have. They drove non-fancy, paid off cars...one of the cars even lasted so long that my dad had it repainted an "interesting" color. (Oh LAWD. My junior high friends probably remember that one. I know I do.) They put us first. They made sure that we had what we needed to succeed. Things for school, for our sports and activities, for our music. Extras for us. Not luxuries, but from time to time, I do remember them giving us something 'extra special' because God had 'extra blessed' them in some way. But definitely not luxuries for themselves.
They taught us important values about money and taught us 'how to
DO money'.
And I am thankful.
Have we done it the EXACT way that my parents did it? No. But the principles are the same. Chuck and I's plan of action was to try to live on
one of our incomes when we got married. Try is the optimal word. We don't always fully succeed, but for the most part we do and we have been able to use that money for our unexpected "stuff"(i.e. infertility/adoption). We are both fortunate enough to have good jobs that we have both had for around 15 years. Same exact places for all those years...good 'ol DPISD and Gulf Coast Authority. Thank GOD for our jobs and thank GOD that we did make that decision when we first married to try and live on
ONE of those good jobs.
A year into our marriage, little did we know that our fertility treatments would soon run us well over 30K and lead us straight into a 25K adoption.
God knew. And He prepared the way financially. Has it been easy? NO WAY. We could've already bought new cars, paid down our house(our only debt we now owe), or used that money a million different ways.
But God had different plans for our money. Which is really
His money, anyways.
He knew that the
baby He wanted for us would come to us this way. I'll be honest. Sometimes I don't think it's fair. Sometimes, I envy those people whose babies come so easy to...people who don't have to struggle or save lots of money for their babies. Sometimes, I question
His plan. I'll be
extra honest and say that sometimes, I tell God I
hate his plan. That His plan is
TOO hard. And then I remember that the plan that HE had for His only, begotten son was
harder than anything I could ever imagine. So,
He knows HARD. He's there with me in the HARD. Listening and understanding, guiding and helping. Just like He is for all of us.
And I know that His guiding and helping Chuck and I financially, has been what's led us to this month's financial hurdle...
Adoption. Paid off. Or really, ready, sitting in the bank and waiting to be signed over. Whew.
We're ready, Lord.
