What. The. Fu...?

When it rains, it pours. Ralph Santiago died after a sex act went wrong... okay. Fine. Happens all the time. However, he was wearing a gas mask and a wet suit. Again, I'm sure it happens. However, Ralph was at work... his FIRST FREAKIN' DAY OF A NEW JOB AND THIS IS WHAT HE DOES.

Can you imagine the funeral? Talk about gallows humor...

Are You F'ing Kidding Me?

This is nucking futz!

And THIS is the cherry on the top...

Are You F'ing Kidding Me?

Dude’s Got Wood*

This is just too biz-f’n-zarre! Read the story HERE. Frankly, I love the fact that he’s wearing a GAP shirt… I’m sure GAP feels otherwise.

If he were smart he’d contact some guy to whittle his hands into something useful… like hands.

Parents should use this picture to keep their little boys from playing with himself: “See what happens when you touch yourself? Keep your thoughts clean!” Man, if someone were to tell me that when I was a kid I never would have touched it. Think of all the free time I would have had!

*Alternate headline: "Even Trees Wear Khakis"

Why Isn’t Brenda Dickson A Gay Icon?

Careful, Brenda—craziness is coming!
She’s campy. She’s beautiful. She’s f’ing bizarre! Josh & Josh (of Josh and Josh are Rich and Famous) have a hysterical post of several of Ms. Dickson’s videos from the 80’s. More importantly, they also link two parody videos of the first two—caution: you will laugh very hard and very loud watching them.

Sliding towards crazy
Brenda is a nut-job beyond belief. She’s not as famous as Lindsay, Paris or Brittany, but just as tragic. (Can you say “schadenfreude”?) She recently went through another divorce and the press releases she issued are amazing. Written in the third person—although, clearly evident Brenda is writing them—they quickly become rambling and incoherent. I’ve read them three times and I’m still not quite sure what’s going on—besides ‘they are all against her.’

The blank look says she's invited crazy to the party...

Two of her best lines are while she is wearing what appears to be leftover from Dynasty: "Do you like this gown? It's very dramatic." and "There was a time in my career when I wouldn't be caught dead in a gown like this." Honey, you shouldn’t be caught alive in it, either.

Of the parody videos, my favorite line has to be “My vagine is so big I had to underline it." seconded by “I'm a pirate." (You’ll understand when you see the video).

Welcome to Crazytown--population: YOU!
You really only need to watch about half of the first video to get an idea of what she’s like (crazy), but definitely watch the parodies.