Knucklehead's Blog-Off: We Have a Champion!

After five grueling rounds of competition and hundreds of ballots cast, we have a winner in Knucklehead's Blog-Off 2011.  By a stunning final vote of 103-99, our champion is . . .

HOMEMAKER MAN, at MUSINGS FROM THE BIG PINK!

In a come-from-behind victory, Homemaker Man has earned the title of Knucklehead's Blog-Off 2011 Champion.  His winnings include an authentic, autographed Knucklehead refrigerator magnet (no, I'm NOT kidding), a gift card to the Outback Steakhouse, and this really cool badge to display on his blog . . .

I also wish to congratulate the lovely and talented Cardiogirl for being the runner-up.  She was in the top two or three every week, and never failed to entertain her readers.  While there is no cash prize for second place, she does win an autographed Knucklehead magnet, suitable for sticking.  Also, in the event Homemaker Man cannot fulfill the duties of Blog-Off Champion, Cardiogirl will step in to handle those responsibilities, whatever they may be.

Additional thanks go out to all of you who participated this year.  Quirky, Mike, Eva, Fred, Not Actually God, Candy, and Vicki.

And finally, thanks to everyone who visited our contestants blogs and cast a ballot in the Blog-Off.  I hope you enjoyed the posts and maybe even subscribed to a couple new blogs along the way.  That, after all, was the intent of the contest in the first place.

Thanks for joining in, and I hope you'll stick around.  I'm already looking forward to Blog-Off 2012.


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Knucklehead's Blog-Off Finals!

Ladies and Gentlemen!  In-N-Out Burger and Budweiser, the King of Beers, welcome you to the final round of Knucklehead's Blog-Off 2011!

Llllllllllet's get ready to rummmmmblllllllle!

This bout will be one round, for the Knucklehead Blog-Off Championship of the World.  Bloggers have each written a piece entitled "Party of Four," which will become self-explanatory when you visit their sites.  This match has no word limit.

And now, our contestants.

In the burnt sienna corner, writing out of the Murder Capital of America, Detroit, Michigan.  She's five feet, eight and one-half inches tall, and has a total body fat measuring nineteen percent.  She never leaves the house without a ponytail, low-top Converse, and her glasses.  Her favorite catch phrase is "Sweep the Leg," and she loves black olives, Dr. G Medical Examiner, and sarcasm.  This squirrel-hating wife and mother of three hopes to one day plan an entire vacation around a visit to In-N-Out Burger.

Cardioooooooo . . . . Girrrrrrrrl!

And in the hot magenta corner . . . hailing from Everett, Massachusetts.  He stands five feet, seven majestic inches tall and weighs in at one cubic yard.  He lacks even the most rudimentary education or understanding of the outside world.  He's got a head of paper and a heart of gold, let's have a rousing ovation for . . .

Homemakerrrrrrr . . . Maaaaaaaan!

Below, you'll find the links to their final-round entries, and you can vote over in the Knucklehead sidebar.  Voting ends Wednesday, February 9th at 6:00 PM Pacific Time, and the results will be announced shortly thereafter.  Good luck, bloggers!

And the links:

Cardiogirl

Homemaker Man (Musings From the Big Pink)

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Knucklehead's Blog-Off: Semi-Final Results

The semi-final round of Knucklehead's Blog-Off 2011 brought about a controversy that I won't elaborate on at this time.  All three contestants wrote engaging, humorous Dr. Seuss-like posts, and each received a good number of votes.

Midway through the voting period, Mike W-J, the author of "Too Many Mornings" (and last year's champ), decided to withdraw from the competition.

As a result, Cardiogirl and Homemaker Man will advance to the finals.  Tune in Sunday for the details and hoopla, as we get ready for the CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND!


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Knucklehead's Blog-Off Semi-Finals: In the Style of Dr. Seuss

It's time for the semi-final round to commence,
In the Knucklehead Blog-Off, oh, isn't this tense?
It started with nine bloggers, now it's just three,
Who remain in the contest, oh whoopity-dee.

The topic this time will let them cut loose,
As they write in the style of ol' Dr. Seuss.
Perhaps they'll be funny, or maybe insightful,
Whatever the case, they'll no doubt be delightful.

Three semi-finalists have fought their way through,
We have Cardio, Mike, and Homemaker Man, too.
Go visit their sites and decide which is best,
Then come back to my place and vote, be my guest.

The voting starts now, and it ends Wednesday night,
The blogger with the fewest votes will fade out of sight.
So check out the entries, and see what you think,
Then come back and vote, oh yes, here are the links:

Cardiogirl
Musings From the Big Pink
Too Many Mornings


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Knucklehead's Blog-Off: Round 3 Results

We're getting right down to the ol' nitty-gritty,
And at times, as we've seen, it just ain't always pretty.
Round three saw five bloggers jump into the fray,
But as Blog-Off rules state, two must now go away.

The first to depart is a fellow named Fred,
His dog wrote his entry, or so the dog said.
"Was it a satire?" pondered some readers,
Well no, it was not, as the dog had conceded.

The other to go is a lady named Eva,
Which might rhyme with "shave ya" or maybe with "leave ya."
Her post about dress codes in Swiss banks was great,
I covered my tattoos and piercings, post haste.

Coming up Sunday, we move to round four,
With three bloggers left, that's two less than before.
The finalists include dear sweet Cardiogirl,
If you haven't yet read her stuff, give her a whirl.

You'll also be hearing from a scoundrel named Mike,
A rule-bender, maybe, but one that we like.
The last of our entrants is Homemaker Man,
Who wrote his last post while he sat on the can.

The topic for the semis, you may have deduced,
Is a story in the style of the great Dr. Seuss.
Homemaker, Cardio, and Mike will get writin',
So come by on Sunday, it'll be quite excitin'.


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Knucklehead's Blog-Off Round 3: Satire

And we're back for round three of Knucklehead's Blog-Off 2011!  The field is down to five, and this week we'll be saying goodbye to two more contestants.  Next week we'll have the semi-finals, where we determine who'll make it through to the much-anticipated finale.

But first things first.

This week's topic is "Satire on a Current Event."  Our Final Five will choose a recent news story, celebrity, or other item of interest and skewer it in their own inimitable fashions.  Click on the links below to read their entries, and then journey back here to Knucklehead! and cast your vote over in the sidebar.  Voting ends at 6:00 Pacific on Wednesday the 26th.

Here's the linkage:

Cardiogirl
The Fred Effect
Musings From the Big Pink
Too Many Mornings
Wrestling With Retirement

Good luck, contestants!

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Knucklehead's Blog-Off: Round 2 Results

The voting for Knucklehead's Blog-Off 2011 is now complete, and we must say goodbye to two more contestants.  Despite their solid entries in the "Observational Humor" category, Glitter Frog and If I Were God failed to accumulate enough votes to remain in the competition.  It's a sad day indeed.

Well, for those two.  For the other five, this is nothing but great news.  But before you start gloating about it, you'll want to get to work on your posts for Round Three, which are going to be "Satire on a Current Event."  Our Final Five will choose a recent news story, celebrity, or event and give it a humorous spin.  I'll tell you right now that any posts involving the word "Bieber" will be automatically disqualified (not really, but it's worth thinking about).

Round Three entries will be posted on the contestants' blogs (and linked to from here) on Sunday, January 23rd at 10:00 AM Pacific Time.  The remaining bloggers are:

Cardiogirl
The Fred Effect
Musings From the Big Pink
Too Many Mornings
Wrestling With Retirement

Good luck!

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Knucklehead's Blog-Off Round 2: Observational Humor

And we're back for round two of Knucklehead's Blog-Off 2011!  This week's topic is observational humor, where each of the remaining bloggers will write about a bit of absurdity that exists in the world around us.  Maybe they'll have an explanation for why it says "Do Not Eat" on a packet that comes in a pair of shoes, or perhaps they'll pose a theory on why Wednesday is called "Hump Day" when most people don't get around to it until the weekend.

Anyway, click the links below to read the contestants' entries and then return here to vote over in my side bar.  Voting ends at 6:00PM, Wednesday, January 19th.  Once again, the bottom two will be eliminated.

Here's the links:

Cardiogirl
The Fred Effect
Glitter Frog
If I Were God
Musings From the Big Pink
Too Many Mornings
Wrestling With Retirement

Interestingly, two of this week's entries involve public restrooms.  I'm not sure what that means, exactly, but it's probably not good.

Anyway, good luck, bloggers!


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Knucklehead's Blog-Off: Round 1 Results

The results are in, and it looks like Cardiogirl,  Too Many Mornings, and Musings From the Big Pink have established themselves as the early favorites.  Sadly, though, we must say goodbye to our bottom two (the rules require it, otherwise this thing would go on forever).  It is with a heavy heart and a soggy box of Kleenex that we bid a fond adieu to Quirkyloon and Candy's Daily Dandy.  It's nothing personal, ladies (at least I don't think it is, but then again, you'd probably have to ask the voting public).  I, for one, still find your blogs entertaining and I hope you've picked up a couple new readers through our Blog-Off here.

Moving right along, Round Two will commence on Sunday, January 16th.  The next category will be "Observational Humor" so you'll want to stop by to check out our remaining bloggers' interpretation of what exactly that means.  The survivors are:

Cardiogirl
The Fred Effect
Glitter Frog
If I Were God
Musings From the Big Pink
Too Many Mornings
Wrestling With Retirement

Good luck!


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Knucklehead's Blog-Off Round 1: Childhood Stories

Just for a bit of fun, and to shine a light on some of the best humor blogs out there right now, I'll be hosting a five-week Blog-Off competition.  Every Sunday, from January 9th through February 6th, our contestants will post their entry and you, the readers, will be asked to vote for your favorite (the ballot is displayed on my sidebar here at Knucklehead!).  Posts go up on Sundays, and the voting each week ends Wednesday mornings.  Each round will feature a different writing genre, to recognize cleverness and versatility.  Please take some time to read our entries and vote for your favorite!

The topic for Round One is Childhood Stories, where each blogger will write a semi-true tale from their childhood.  Here are the contestants, and the link to their entries:

Candy's Daily Dandy
Cardiogirl
The Fred Effect
Glitter Frog
If I Were God
Musings From the Big Pink
Quirkyloon
Too Many Mornings
Wrestling With Retirement

After you've checked out their work, come back to Knucklehead! and vote over in my sidebar, no later than 6:00PM Pacific Time, Wednesday, January 12th.  The bottom TWO vote-getters will be eliminated, and results will be posted Wednesday evening.

Good luck, contestants!


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Knucklehead's Blog-Off 2011!

Welcome to Knucklehead's Blog-Off 2011, where humor bloggers from across cyberspace compete to determine this year's Blog-Off champion!

The competition begins on Sunday, January 9th, when the contestants will post their entries according to official Knucklehead guidelines.  I'll link to their blogs from this site so you can check out their work, and then come back here to vote in the Knucklehead sidebar.  Voting will run from Sunday through Wednesday, with the results posted each Thursday.

We'll start with eight nine contestants (more on these folks later), and the competition will consist of five rounds.  After each of the first two three rounds, the two lowest vote-getters will be eliminated.  From that point on, only the single lowest vote-getter will get the boot until we reach the finals.  If you've ever watched American Idol (and who hasn't?) you'll pick up the idea pretty quickly.


Here are the bloggers who will be vying for the coveted title of Knucklehead's Blog-Off 2011 Champion: 

Our defending champ, Mike W-J, author of the blog Too Many Mornings  

The Fred Effect, written by a guy named (duh) Fred

The lovely and talented Quirkyloon 

If I Were God, written by someone who is admittedly NOT God (but aspires to be)

Candy, from Candy's Daily Dandy . . . the "hot chick" of the competition 

Eva Gallant, author of Wrestling With Retirement 

Glitter Frog, with our good friend Vicki 

Last year's surprise Honorable Mention (surprising because he wasn't even entered in the contest), Homemaker Man and his wonder-blog entitled Musings From the Big Pink

And we have a late entry!  Give it up for Cardio Girl!

For Round One, they'll all be writing about a story from their childhood.  On Sunday, I'll link to them from here and as I mentioned before, you'll be asked to visit their sites and then come back here to vote.

Good luck to everyone!


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BLOG-OFF 2010: AND THE WINNER IS . . .

After a flurry of last-day voting, we have a Bush/Gore-like finish to Knucklehead's BLOG-OFF 2010!  After doing a quick recount of the votes cast in Dade County, Florida, I am pleased to announce that the first ever Blog-Off Champion is Mike Whiteman-Jones at Too Many Mornings.

Mike, go ahead and snag your trophy, and display it proudly on your site.  You'll also receive an official Knucklehead refrigerator magnet (retail value: Squadoosh), and a gift card to the national dining establishment of your choice.  Congratulations!

I would be remiss if I didn't take a moment to congratulate our runner-up, Candice Stroh at Life According to Candice.  Always a popular choice, Candice garnered more total votes over the six-week competition, but was narrowly edged out in the Finals.  As the runner-up, however, you will be asked to take over as the Knucklehead Blog-Off Champion should Mike be rendered unable to fulfill his duties and responsibilities (specifically, washing my car and mowing my lawn).

In a surprising surge, our second runner-up was Homemaker Man, who didn't let the fact that he wasn't an official participant in the Blog-Off deter him from putting forth a tremendous effort.  Congratulations!

And finally, I'd like to thank everyone who participated in the competition and also all of you who took the time to vote.  I hope everyone had a fun time, and you discovered a few new blogs to follow.

Stay tuned for Blog-Off 2011, coming next January!


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Blog-Off 2010, Finals: Author's Choice

Knucklehead Humor, in association with Budweiser, the King of Beers, welcomes you to the Blog-Off 2010 Final Round!  And now . . . LLLLET'S GET READY TO RUMMMMBLLLLLE!

In the red corner, from the blogging city of Dallas, Texas, she's a 33-year old nurse with a husband, two kids, two cats, a dog, three fish, two frogs and a hermit crab, none of whom does she actually like.  She's been blogging regularly since August of 2008, she's into midget porn and possesses an actual vagina.  Let's have a big hand for Life According to Candice's Candice "Texas Hold Me" Stroh!

And in the blue corner, from parts unknown . . . he's a self-taught yo-yo expert who collects cat hair, ear wax, and those little "Do Not Eat" packages that you find in new shoes.  He's been blogging since April of 2009 and hopes someday to be mentioned in the same sentence as Bob Dylan.  Hey, how about that, he just was.  Everyone give it up for Mike "John Jacob Jingleheimer" Whiteman-Jones at Too Many Mornings!


This week, the bloggers get to choose what to write about, no limits, no specific genre.  We'll get to see them do what they do best.  Here are the links:

Life According to Candice
Too Many Mornings

Go visit their sites, and give their posts the once-over.  Then come on back here to Knucklehead! and cast your vote.  Voting closes on Wednesday at 9:00AM Pacific Time.  Results will be posted Wednesday evening along with the winner's Official Championship Blog Badge.

Good luck to our finalists!

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Blog-Off 2010: Semi-Finals Result

Before we get to this week's results, I must take a moment to recognize a blogger who's been participating in this Blog-Off without being invited.  He's taken it upon himself to follow the Blog-Off guidelines and write a post on each topic, even though he's not involved in the voting process.  Up until now I haven't said anything here on Knucklehead, but I can keep quiet no longer.

The Homemaker Man's stow-away entry for "In the Style of Dr. Seuss" completely kicked ass over any of the official contestants.  I mean no disrespect to Candice, Mike, and Nomad, but click over to Homemaker Man's Musings From the Big Pink and see if you don't agree with me.

Okay, on to the "official" results.

After hanging tough through the first five rounds, 365 Days of People is the low man on the totem pole this week.  His Seussian entry, I thought, was terrific but the voters apparently didn't have quite the same enthusiasm . . . so we must bid Nomad adieu.

So now it's time for the big head-to-head Blog-Off Smack Down.  This time, instead of having them write something, Mike and Candice are just going to strip to the waist and wrestle for it.

Just kidding.

Anyway, check back in on Sunday morning at 9 Pacific for the links, details, and voting ballot for the Championship Round.  It's "Blogger's Choice" this time, so no holds are barred!


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Blog-Off 2010, Semi-Finals: In the Style of Dr. Seuss

Welcome to the Semi-Finals of Blog-Off 2010!  This week's category is "In the Style of Dr. Seuss."  Each of our remaining bloggers will put a Seussian spin on a topic of their choosing.

Pay our contestants a visit, then come back here and cast your vote over in the sidebar.

We're down to the Final Three, and this week we'll eliminate one more blogger, setting up the head-to-head showdown in next week's finals.  Voting closes on Wednesday at 6:00 PM Pacific Time.

Here are your FINAL THREE!

365 Days of People
Life According to Candice
Too Many Mornings

Pay them a visit, then come on back and cast your vote.  Every vote counts!


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Blog-Off 2010: Round Four Results

Well, it took four rounds for us to have our first controversy.

I was going to go off on a couple people for pissing in the punchbowl, so to speak, but after thinking about it, it's just not worth the time.  No matter the situation, some people just won't be happy unless they can find something to bitch about.  Suffice it to say, the decision of the judges (me) is final, and I thought all the entries met the criteria of observational humor. 

Okay, enough of that.  Here's the results:

As I said, this week we're only eliminating one contestant.  After the closest vote yet, we sadly must say goodbye to Mariann at Blogged Down at the Moment.

As evidenced by the first four rounds, Mariann is an outstanding writer and could easily have advanced further in the competition.  You might also want to check out Mariann's interactive humor site, Humor Me Online.  It's a lot of fun.

Anyway, it's a talented field that remains, and it basically comes down to a matter of personal preference, ie. whatever your opinion is of "potty humor".  To each his own.

Round Five begins on Sunday, January 31 at 9:00AM Pacific Time.  The next category will be very entertaining, as our remaining bloggers will be asked to write a post in the style of Dr. Seuss.  I'm looking forward to seeing what they come up with!

Come by on Sunday for the links, details, and the ballot!


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Blog-Off 2010, Round Four: Observational Humor

Welcome to Round Four of Blog-Off 2010!  This week's category is Observational Humor.  Each of our remaining bloggers will point out some absurdity from the world around us.

Pay our contestants a visit, then come back here and cast your vote over in the sidebar.

We're down to the Final Four, and this week we'll eliminate one more blogger.  Voting closes on Wednesday at 6:00 PM Pacific Time.

I'd like to encourage all of you who have been voting for blogs that have since been eliminated to keep coming back and voting for the remaining contestants.  Coming down to the end, it's still anyone's ballgame.

Here are the links to this week's entries:

365 Days of People
Blogged Down at the Moment
Life According to Candice
Too Many Mornings


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Blog-Off 2010: Round Three Results

Well, we're getting down to the nitty-gritty here, as we're narrowing the field to just four bloggers this week.  During our "parody" round, our top two vote-getters were Life According to Candice and Blogged Down at the Moment.  If you haven't read their entries yet, drop by their sites and check them out.  You won't be sorry!

And now for the hard part.  Time to say goodbye to this week's bottom two.  Despite their very funny pieces, Of Cabbages and Kings and The Wizard of Otin received the fewest votes and are, therefore, eliminated from the competition.  They're not eliminated from the blog-world, though, so please visit them often.  They're both outstanding writers and deserve your attention.

Round Four begins on Sunday, January 24th.  The category will be observational humor, and the entries will be posted at 9:00 AM Pacific Time.  Stop by then for the links, details, and of course, the voting ballot.

Blog-Off 2010, Round Three: Parody

Welcome to Round Three of Blog-Off 2010!  This week's category is Parody.  Each of our remaining bloggers will give an existing song, story, etc. their own unique twist.

Pay our contestants a visit, then come back here and cast your vote over in the sidebar.

We're down to six remaining bloggers, and this week we'll eliminate two more.  Voting closes on Wednesday at 6:00PM Pacific Time.

Incidentally, this is the last round in which we'll eliminate TWO bloggers.  Starting in round four, it's only the single lowest vote-getter that goes home (metaphorically).

Here are the links to this week's entries:

365 Days of People
Blogged Down at the Moment
Life According to Candice
Of Cabbages and Kings
Too Many Mornings
The Wizard of Otin

Good luck, contestants!


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Blog-Off 2010: Round Two Results

Round Two is in the books and, as expected, we saw some great work by our contestants this time around.  Our top two vote-getters were Life According to Candice and 365 Days of People with 25% and 15% of the vote, respectively. 

Once again, though, we have to eliminate our bottom two.  Sadly, this week we say goodbye to:

Confessions of a Reforming Geek:  "Reffie", as she's known in the blogosphere, put forth a great effort this week, but unfortunately it was not enough to keep her in the running.  Don't let that stop you from visiting her site regularly, it's always worth the trip.

Mr. Condescending:  Although it's still early in the competition, this is one elimination that can truly be called an "upset".  I had Mr. C pegged as a shoo-in for at least the Final Four, but alas, it was not to be.  Apparently his 300-plus followers couldn't be bothered to come over and vote, and for that they should be strung up by their least comfortable regions and flogged.  Mr. C, we hardly knew ye.

All right then.

Round Three of our Blog-Off starts this coming Sunday, January 17th.  The category for this round is Parody, which is sure to inspire hilarity among our contestants.  Details, links, and the voting ballot will be posted here on Knucklehead! on Sunday at 9:00 Pacific Time.

Good luck to our contestants!


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