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How can this be? Electrocution?

Pencil sharpeners kill more people every year than sharks.

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And how can this be? During my editing jobs, I have encountered bologna amputation, sutures with Knotts Berried, and attention defecate disorder, but until today I had not encountered this:

ADMITTING DIAGNOSIS: Test tickler torsion.

NAPOWRIMO: From the Thou Shalt Not Series

This is #23 hot off the press (pun intended--iron-on transfer images). The lines in the poem are supposed to be stitched/stacked like these photos...Alas, alack, I cannot figure the HTML.

Hot from the horoscope files...Spring cleaning means to...

clear out a nice big empty space in your brain. There are lots of fresh hot ideas poised to flow into you in the coming weeks. But if you hope to receive them in the proper spirit, you'll have to make more room for them.

So not only am I losing my mind, I've now received permission!

Maybe the MFA project will have more new energy if I shred it...

I'meme Behind on My Reading

C.K. Williams, Tar
Eavan Boland, Domestic Violence
Sylvia Plath, Ariel: The Restored Version
Galway Kinnell, Imperfect Thirst
Jack Gilbert, The Great Fires

The sad, sad thing is that all these books are on my desk right now.

He Likes It!

Hey, Mike, come on and give it to me, Anyway you can, Anyway you want to do it, I'll treat you like a man...first change your name back to Mickey.

Hey, Mike, praise the Lord and pass the ammunition, just like Dicky C.

Hey, Mike, can you fall like a small burntout moon, make a crater in the sand where you land?

OVERHEARD AT THE COPIER

Hey, Mike, Info. Systems says if you're having trouble with your telephone, just call them.

Hey, Mike, can you collate Byron in with the other Romantic poets, making sure he's after the cover page? (as if he isn't after everything else!)

Hey, Mike, hands off the paper cutter!

Hey, Mike, the departmental secretaries should like totally eat cake.

Hey, Mike, can you tell me the difference between Simplex and Duplex? (HINT: One's a virus, one's a rental!)

Hey, Mike, quitcherbitchin', you have to teach Melville every f'in' time.

Hey, Mike, at least it was good for me.

Who Wrote This Fine Prose Poem?

The answer surprised me--did it you?

HYSTERIA

As she laughed I was aware of becoming involved in her
laughter and being part of it, until her teeth were
only accidental stars with a talent for squad-drill. I
was drawn in by short gasps, inhaled at each momentary
recovery, lost finally in the dark caverns of her
throat, bruised by the ripple of unseen muscles. An
elderly waiter with trembling hands was hurriedly
spreading a pink and white checked cloth over the rusty
green iron table, saying: "If the lady and gentleman
wish to take their tea in the garden, if the lady and
gentleman wish to take their tea in the garden ..." I
decided that if the shaking of her breasts could be
stopped, some of the fragments of the afternoon might
be collected, and I concentrated my attention with
careful subtlety to this end.

Kurt Vonnegut,1922-2007: So it goes. So it goes.

All time is all time. It does not change. It does not lend itself to warnings or explanations. It simply is. Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I've said before, bugs in amber.

Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five (the story of a man unstuck in time)

"The State with the Prettiest Name"

...won me $140 ($160 minus my 20-dollar ante for 2 teams) in the NCAA poll. I'm happy about that.

Basketball poem on the way, hopefully soon. Pistol Pete Pantoum.

NaPoWriMo--Day #4

NaPoWriMo Day #3: Jewelry Box (From My House To Yours)

Day Two: NaPoWriMo: From My House to Yours

Day One: NaPoWriMo: From My House to Yours

Obi Decorated with Design of Large Carp


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