Naive...

...and a little jaded. I didn't know that I could be both at the same time. Today's election will be historic in one way or another here in Massachusetts. We will either elect our 1st woman Senator or our 1st Republican Senator in decades (both very monumental). I guess I am being naive to think that no matter what happens in this election as long as the people of the Commonwealth are heard it was a great example of the democratic process. But according to some of the radio talk show hosts, we have to worry about the "corrupt" Democrat Party who may try some tricky stuff to keep the Republican from taking office at all or taking office in time to have his vote counted among all the other Senators on the Health Care Reform legislation (should he win). I know I am being naive to think that people have more integrity than that. I mean isn't the voice of the people and the integrity of the democratic process more important than any party's agenda. I know that I sound more Republican than Democratic, but as Brian will attest I am actually very much the middle of the road. I am registered as an Undeclared Voter, so I voted for the Democratic candidate during the Primary election. I will not tell you who I voted for today (if you really want to know ask Kay) just know that I put a lot of thought into who would best represent me and my views on the current political agenda in D.C.

Now how am I jaded you might ask? None of this stuff seems all that important to me when it comes to the grand picture. The past few weeks have been hard on some of my friends. Every week for the past three I have learned of a death in a friend's family. A loving and beautiful mother, that battled cancer a whole year longer than her doctors thought possible passed away right after New Years. She was a very remarkable woman who produced very remarkable women (and one remarkable young man). Right after her funeral a friend of my mine who I have known since the age of eight lost a dear brother. I didn't know this brother that well, but I remember him from our time in elementary and he was a very sweet young man. His poor bride of only four months laid in his hospital bed with him and hoped for the best, but was prepared for the worst. His funeral was on Saturday after giving the gift of life to as many people as possible (become an organ donor today). A day later a dear family that we care very much about lost a beautiful niece to a year long battle with cancer. After beating this disease it came back with a vengeance and took the glimmer of hope from her family. My heart has ached for these families, but I know that these families will be reunited for eternity one day (click here if you want to learn more about this belief). Don't even get me started on Haiti, those poor people, how I wish I could do more than just donate money. A silly election, no matter how historic, or politically fueled, just isn't all that important to me right now. No matter what happens at the polls today I will hold the beautiful girls I have been blessed to raise a little closer today. I will cherish my wonderfully amazing husband more today. Please remember what is most important during this exciting time and never lose sight of those things.

Concerns

As I posted earlier, I am nesting like a crazy psycho pregnant lady (turns out all those adjectives describe me to a T right now). I have been thinking about one thing throughout this entire pregnancy. This thing has even trumped the gender of this baby. What could it be? It's her bilirubin count. I have been so lucky to deliver my babies before their due dates. This is both a blessing and a curse as it can contribute to a baby being jaundice.

Kay in the NICU at Children's Hospital, when she was
admitted her bilirubin count was in the low 20's
(when it gets up to 25 they usually do a blood transfusion).

Aubrey was able to return to the hospital where she was born.
Her count was around 17, so a level II Nursery was all she needed.
The reason for the nakedness is because she was pooping out the bilirubin
and had a really bad diaper rash, the nurse said the air and light would help.

I have been trying to figure out what I could possibly do to prevent and prepare for this baby's bilirubin count to be below (a safe) 11. I've talked to both my OB/GYN, our Pediatrician, a lactation consultant (they thought it was strange to call 3 months before my due date too), and my brother Robbie (who is a nursing student, he graduates in May). My brother suggested asking my OB to recommend a dietitian who can help me figure what I can do now to help prepare my body to boost the calories in my breast milk (as this is what my Pediatrician thinks is the overall problem). The lactation consultant suggested taking a herbal supplement two weeks before and 2-3 weeks after delivery to try to help with my milk supply. That is a total of 2 doctors, 1 (almost) nurse, a lactation consultant, and a dietitian. Crazy I know, but "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure". We'll see if any of this helps this time around.

This always seems so silly to me, that I get so worked up over something as little as jaundice. I mean come on, when we were in the NICU with Kay there were babies there who were seriously fighting for their lives. I felt like I was not being grateful for a healthy baby. I am very grateful that my children have just had to get a little tan and then they were fine and haven't had any major health problems. I would just like to know what it's like to leave the hospital after 3 days (I doubt I will ever feel comfortable leaving any earlier because of our history) and not have to return a day or two later.

Nesting

I am starting that very exciting/tiring stage of pregnancy, nesting. I have found myself compulsively writing and rewriting to-do lists. On Saturday we spent the day moving the changing table and the crib out of the girls room and into the baby's room. Aubrey is now sleeping in a twin size bed that matches Kay's bed. I know it's the crazy pregnancy hormones, but I keep getting a little sad that Aubrey is growing up so fast. She's now potty trained and has transitioned to her new bed amazingly well. I feel slightly crazy because I keep thinking I don't have a baby! I know all in due time (only 3 more months).

So let me just share my crazy nesting list with you (please pray for us and our sanity).
1. Remodel our basement
I've already had two contractors take a look at it and are going be sending us their bids soon.
2. Paint the babies room.
3. Organize all drawers and closets in the house.
4. Get a blessing dress for the little lady. (check)
5. Get a coming home from the hospital outfit for the baby.
6. Get all the baby clothes down from the attic and wash them and put away.
7. Get a new infant car seat. (check)
8. Find a name for the baby.
9. Move Aubrey into a twin bed. (check)
10. Make a bunch of freezer meals.

I know I will be adding to this list. I just hope my energy will keep up with me. I'll also post pictures as all these projects come together. Let's just pray that this stuff doesn't put me into labor.