Family Vacation to Utah - July 2009

"Now Is That Gratitude?"

The other night before a Stake Basketball game, I had the rare occasion of laying outside on the grass and meditating a little. As I looked up into the sky, I contemplated the path my life has taken thus far. As I pondered about the events of my life, the Spirit of the Lord touched my heart and reminded me of all the people in my life that have helped me through difficult times and have helped me to grow as a person. As I reflected, my heart was filled with gratitude towards all those people that have come in to my life to help me along the way.
In our busy hectic lives, we often forget to thank those who have helped us to grow and become the people we are. The Savior teaches this principle in the Gospel of Luke: "And it came to pass, as he went to Jerusalem, that he passed through the midst of Samaria and Galilee. And as he entered into a certain village, there met him ten men that were lepers, which stood afar off: And they lifted up their voices, and said, Jesus, Master, have mercy on us. And when he saw them, he said unto them, Go shew yourselves unto the priests. And it came to pass, that, as they went, they were cleansed. And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God. And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan. And Jesus answering said, Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine? There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger. And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole. "
I believe that the Lord allows people to enter our path in mortality to carry us through difficult times and also to present different challenges so that we grow as a person. I also believe that the answers to most of our prayers come through caring people trying to serve others. Once while going through a particularly tough time in my life the answer to fervent prayers over about a month time was through a friend who felt (from the Spirit, no doubt) that I was in need and wanted to help. He felt strongly that I should see a certain therapist that he had seen. I was able to get an appointment that day with the therapist and start the healing process.
This leads to another point. Are we in tune enough to hear the Still Small Voice tell us when someone close to us is in need? Do we constantly strive to serve others and be the catalyst to help change a life or help a person grow? Do we truly want to serve others? I believe this is why we Home and Visit Teach. If we are consistent Home and Visiting Teachers and listen to the Still Small Voice, we will have great experiences in helping other people grow and help the Lord do his work, which is to, "...bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:38).
Now back to Gratitude. I would like to give a 'shout out' to all those people that have helped me along the way. I will undoubtedly miss someone, but I have not forgot.

My Best Friends Growing Up and Still so Today:

Conrad "Temporary Chicken" Williams, Jason "There's a Monkey in the Tree" Tranquill, Scott "Holmeslice" Holmes, Brain "Scorn" Jackman, Dave and Bill Moon, Cliff "Diverman" Devries, Vermena VanDuzer Lee, Shelly Siebach Dinerstein, Amy Flierl, Paul "Big Daddy" Burdick, Melanie Ogan Pickens, Tom Clifford, Clint Taylor, Ty Taylor, Devin Youmans ,Jeremy "I'll Posterize You" Mains & Brian West.

The Mission:

Elders Sollis, Nix, Christiansen, Schoeney,Lindenau, Hale, Allen, Hunter,Wollf, Sieger, Smith, Hull. President Wolferts & President Charles. Sister (Birrell) George. Sergienko Family, Frank Schneidereit, Silvia Mehrkert.

My Family:

Kari Wendt Vastbinder, Amy Wendt Lau, Ryan , Brendan, Kevin & Ian Wendt. Mom and Dad.

Others:

Darren Cram, Dr. T, Dr. W, Bishop Sears, J. Owens, S. Hall, D. Carlile, President Williams, Dr. Hunter, Dr. Borup, L. Claywell, S. Johnson, and T. & R. Berman.

And last but not least, the two people that have kept me on the straight and narrow for the last 13 years, my beautiful wife Heidi and my daughter Samantha.

Just a thought or two...

Return and Report Please!

As I have served in leadership functions in the church there has been on my mind the eternal principle of "Return and Report". I especially want to talk about this principle as it pertains to Home Teaching.

Being in the quorum presidencies and now in the High Priest group leadership, I have had the opportunity to also be a Home Teaching District Supervisor. At the end of each month each companionship in my district should report their Home teaching results via email or phone call. There are some that are real good at this , but I would guess based on my experience that for the most part most priesthood holders in the church wait to be called or emailed to get their reports to their supervisor. I have even had to email people 4 or 5 times before they respond.

Why the lack of "Returning & Reporting" in regards to Home Teaching? I imagine that this does not go on in our secular jobs. When a work task is complete, usually an email or some sort of verbal report goes out to the boss saying that the task is done. So why is it so much less important when it comes to the Lord's work? It is my opinion that if something is important then it usually gets accomplished. An example is; it is important to be to work on time, so we do everything we can to be on time. Why do we not do this with the Lord's work? I suspect that there might be some forgetfulness, some procrastination , and maybe some fear in reporting a goose egg. Again, I believe that this goes back to the importance factor. If it was important, it would be done.

We learn the principle of " Return and Report " in the Temple. Without going into much detail, we learn that Heavenly Father gives Jesus an assignment, and then that assignment is delegated to others. When the assignment is completed the others "Return" to Jesus and "Report" with exactness what they did and this in turn is reported exactly to Heavenly Father. Heaven Father does not have to search out the Savior to get the answers he needs, nor does Jesus have to put out an APB on the others to get the info he needs to report to his father.President Marion G. Romney taught, "Remember, brethren, to return and report is the final act of the faithful and wise steward. "
So how should it be done?

When reporting Home Teaching results, the Home Teacher is responsible to contact the District Supervisor and report and not the other way around. The Lord taught , "For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward…But he that doeth not anything until he is commanded, and receiveth a commandment with doubtful heart, and keepeth it with slothfulness, the same is damned." (D&C 58:26,28)

What should be Reported?

I once emailed someone in my Home Teaching district 4 times with the return email not even answering the question I asked, a Home Teaching report. Some respond with brief messages such as "got 'em all" , "nothing", "doing well" and most recently "zero". These statements do not tell a District Leader anything about the families in his district. I believe that the following things should first be found out by the Home Teachers and then reported:

1) Any spiritual concerns.
2) Any welfare concerns such as sickness or financial difficulties.

3) What is the house like (Messy, Clean, No Furniture, etc.)

4) What lesson you gave and how it was received.

5) How are the children if any.

6) Other concerns as discerned by the Spirit.

If home teaching has not been done that month, one should report that with a commitment to do better next month.

Home Teaching is the most important calling that a priesthood holder has outside of being a father and husband. We should be diligent every month to care for the families we have stewardship over, and we should "Return & Report" what and how our families are doing.

Just a thought...

"...stand still, and consider the wonderous works of God"

Healing: Faith, Medication & Therapy

When I was about 10 years old, while attending a cub scout meeting, the cub master indicated some poisonous things to avoid to stay safe while at a scout day camp. He told us about which berries not to eat and which plants were poisonous (i.e. Poison Ivy). He also mentioned that apple seeds were poisonous in large amounts. This triggered something in my brain that has changed my life ever since. As I walked home from that scout meeting I tried not to walk on any red berries common in Utah, for fear or somehow transferring the poison from my shoe to my hand and then too my siblings causing their death. I was terrified for many months, looking down wherever I walked for fear of getting something poisonous on me and hurting loved ones. I became reclusive and tried not to go out at all to avoid any chance of "contamination".One night I was watching the news with my parents and the newscaster indicated that Russian Leader Leonid Brezhnev had died. Absolute terrifying fear came into me. I rushed into my room, closed that door and was absolutely convinced that I was the one responsible for his death. Somehow, I had transferred some poison from Utah to Russia to him. I was in tears and in pain. My father came into my bedroom to ask what was wrong, and I told him that I had killed Leonid Brezhnev. My father assured me that there was no way that I had anything to do with this because I was in Utah and he was in Russia. This did not convince me. For days I was in disarray and in fear. My parents took me to a child psychologist to see what the problem was. Back then OCD ( Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) was not well understood. The therapist told my parents to take some pressure off of me. The did this and all the fear went away. Since then I have had 6 or 7 full blown "flare-ups" of the mental illness OCD (diagnosed in 2004), including at the beginning and end of my mission (Not Fun).

Recently, I have had a full blown flare up of OCD. I tried to get through it without medication and therapy for many months. I was absolutely sure that I was going to die of some debilitating Neurological disorder. Daily( sometimes 5 or 6 times a day) I would perform neurological exams on myself ; testing my reflexes, walking on my heals, jumping on one foot to see if there was any weakness in my limbs seeing if I was showing signs of MS or ALS. I could not work, could not sleep, and was withdrawn. My wife kept telling me to go see a therapist, but to me that showed a sign of weakness. "I can get through this myself", I would think. "I have more will power than the OCD." I would often take showers at work during lunchtime to relax thereby reducing OCD symptoms (Stress=OCD= More Stress= More OCD). I would pray many times a day to my Heavenly Father asking to heal me. One day while in the shower at work and praying for help the words came clearly in my mind "Go and see someone now!" I went and did what the Lord asked of me and went and saw a therapist that day.

Why do I tell about this story? While talking to people who suffer from mental illness many say they do not want to see a therapist and / or receive medication for their symptoms. I have heard one person say to me,"The Lord will help me" and others have said " I can do this on my own, I am doing the right things and will be strengthened because of it". Still many ask for repeated priesthood blessings to be relieved of the symptoms of mental illness or to be healed all together.

In the early history of the church, the Lord tells Oliver Cowdery ( Who at the time wanted the gift of translation), " Behold you have not understood: you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me. But, behold, I say onto you, that you must study it out in you mind..." (D&C 9:7-8) I believe the Lord helps those who first try to help themselves as the Lord tries to teach Oliver Cowdery in this example. I believe that the Lord has inspired scientists and therapists to come up with new medications and treatments to help the children he loves so dearly. He understands our pain and suffering. His son, the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ while in Gethsemane suffered all the mental pain that those with mental illness go through on a daily basis. (2 Nephi 9:21).

So were does faith come into all this? The Lord requires us to have faith to be healed of our afflictions.The prophet Moroni sums this up by saying, " For if there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them; wherefore he showed not himself until after their faith." (Ether 12:12). In order for those who have any physical or mental illness to be healed one must show faith by taking the necessary medication and doing the necessary therapy required to be healed.

Alexander Morrison in the June 2008 Ensign article entitled The Spiritual Component of Healing said, "We should not believe that all who suffer from illness, whatever the cause, need only receive a priesthood blessing to have their burdens lifted, perhaps permanently. I am a great advocate and supporter of priesthood blessings. I know from many personal experiences that Jesus Christ, and He alone, has ownership of the precious “balm in Gilead” (Jeremiah 8:22) needed for final and complete healing. But I know also that God has given us wonderful knowledge that can be of inestimable assistance in dealing with suffering. We must, I believe, take every advantage of such God-given information.

Some persons who are ill, who have received a priesthood blessing and have prayed fervently that their burdens might be lightened, may feel that they suffer from a lamentable lack of faith if they seek professional help for their affliction. They may even stop taking prescribed medication, thinking erroneously that their faith will replace the need for it. Such thinking is quite simply wrong. Receiving and acting upon professional advice and the concomitant exercise of faith are not in conflict. In fact, exercising faith may require following the advice of experienced health professionals.
Wise health professionals—whatever their academic training or orientation, be it primarily medical or psychological—increasingly are aware that spirituality is a significant component of their therapeutic resources. As recently as a decade ago only a handful of medical schools in the United Sates offered courses in spirituality and healing, but now more than half do. Particularly with religiously devout patients, evidence is beginning to show that spiritual approaches to the psychotherapy of depression, for example, are at least as effective as those that are purely secular. A growing number of physicians and psychotherapists now use spiritually oriented approaches and interventions in treating patients with both physical and mental illnesses."

My advice, whatever it is worth: Go to therapy and take your meds!!!

Just another thought...

By the way, the picture above shows what I take on a daily basis to help me with OCD, Panic Disorder, and General Anxiety Disorder. My own little Pharmacy!!!

"You might be a grad student if..."

Just before graduating at BYU with a MS degree in 2006, I went to the Graduate Student Association social in the Wilkinson Center and got a free T-shirt. On the back it said, " You might be graduate student if..." and then listed 10 things that would make one a graduate student. If you have never been a Grad Student, then the following list is probably not that funny. However, if you have been a Grad Student, then you might relate.

"You might be a grad student if...

1. You find yourself explaining to your children that you are in the "20th" grade.
2. You have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
3. You start referring to stories like ' Snow White et al."
4. Everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
5. You look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes.
6. You regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
7. You appreciate the fact you get to choose which twenty hours out of each day you have to work.
8. You are startled to meet people that neither need or want to read.
9. You look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
10. You wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication"."

Aide Stations in Mortality

A few years ago I ran and finished the St. George Marathon in just under 4 hours. The course which was overall a downhill course, was really a hilly course. The race started out in a small town just outside of St. George called Central, UT. It was 4:30 am and 32 degrees that October Saturday in 2002. All the runners huddled up by the various bonfires that were lit to keep warm before the race started. People were stretching and running around to try to loosen up and keep warm.
At 6:45 am, the race started. My goal was just to finish the race as this was my first marathon. Mile after mile I ran, keeping about an 9 min.mile pace. Starting at mile 3 and thereafter every 2 miles there were aide stations, were a runner could get water, powerade, stretch out and then keep running. At mile 7, in Veyo, UT, there was an aide station right before a 1 mile accent up an extinct volcano and then after a gradual accent for 3 miles to Dammoron Valley (The highest elevation on the course). I remember thinking," Is this hill ever going to end?". The gradual incline finally ended at an aide station at mile 11. As it started to get light out, the beauty of Southern Utah started to show herself. Running through Snow Canyon was the highlight of the race. People from Snow Canyon, UT lined the course giving the runners high-fives and cheering us on. From there on out to the finish line in St. George was a gradual descent. At about this time (mile 20) , I started to get really fatigued. Pure will power and mental stamina would get me to the fish line.
At mile 23, the unthinkable happened. I started to get cramps in my right hamstring. I could not run anymore. I tried to stretch it out, but the cramps got worse. I thought," I have 3 miles to go, I have run hundreds of miles to get ready for this race and I am not going to make it." I decided to walk for about 10 minutes to rest it up a little. My competitiveness and my will to finish the race was overwhelming. I started to run again, but at a much slower pace, trying not to make any sudden jerky moves for fear of cramping up again. I turned down a street and could see the finish line about a mile in the distance. It was the longest mile of my life as the the finish line never seemed top get any closer. As I ran across the finish line, my eyes teared up and I started to cry. "I finished the marathon, I finished the marathon", I thought. I received my finishers medal and cried even more.
As I have reflected on this experience 6 years ago, I often relate running a Marathon to our mortal journey here on earth. Just like the aide stations in the marathon, the Lord provides us with aide stations to aide us through this earthly life we call mortality. Luckily these aide stations are not every 2 miles on the journey, but daily, weekly and monthly on our journey. The course is hilly and often we stumble and are temporarily stopped in our tracks. We might say, " I can't do this anymore, I am too tired." We might get the cramps of mortality or in other words trials and tribulations and say " I can't go on".
So what are these aide stations of mortality that the Lord has provided for us to make it through this life? May I suggest a few that have helped me along the way:

1) Sincere Personal Prayer
2) Personal Scripture Study
3) Partaking of the Sacrament each week and renewing our baptismal covenants
4) Daily repentance of our sins
5) Regular Temple attendance
6) Doing Home Teaching faithfully
7) Reading & pondering our Patriarchal Blessing
7) Medicine & therapy

Whether we have physical ailments, going through a divorce, or in my case have mental illness (OCD and severe anxiety), the Lord will never leave our side in the hilly times of our lives. One of my favorite scriptures and one that has helped me in difficult times is D&C 122:7-9. The Lord tells the Prophet Joseph Smith, " And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience , and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? Therefore,hold on thy way..."

Just a thought......