The Great Wall of China Marathon and Giving Birth

It's fairly appropriate that my last blog post was on the birth of Kimball, because I just had a very similar experience.  This time it took 7 hours and 56 minutes instead of just the hour or so, but we prepared for it for only 7 months instead of the 9 months to prepare for the birth of Kimball.  It all started about October 8th, 2014...

Bethany Holmes Bronson‎Tim Heidi Holmes

October 8, 2014 · Okinawa-shi · 

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I think I might have been kidding a little bit, but kind of not.  I had never run a marathon before, and certainly never ran 5,168 steps at one time either.  It looked daunting, scary, exciting, adventurous, a one of a kind experience.  I started running more consistently again and kept chatting with my dad, mom, and husband about the race.  We went back and forth several times, but eventually Hyrum and I committed to doing it and started training in earnest.  After lots of thought and research, Mom and Dad found that it wouldn't work out for them to come join us.  That was a bit of a blow to my excitement about doing this, but i completely understood.  So Hyrum and I continued pushing and training and all the planning for the trip to China.  (Getting visas, getting a new passport for me, booking hotels and airlines and planning the time there, etc.)
A little about my running style, it can be summarized in one word...slow.  Like seriously, really, really, ridiculously slow.  On our long training runs together, Hyrum would often walk next to me as I jogged.  That is how slow I am.  So that is why, as you might imagine, I was very nervous about the fact that there is an eight hour cut off.  If you take longer than that, you don't get a medal.
Flash forward to May 14th, 2015.  Some good friends are at the house to stay with our five kids and Hyrum and I are on an airplane bound for Beijing.  We arrive Thursday night, then have Friday to explore Beijing before the race on Saturday.  We walk around, explore, see the Forbidden City, shop the markets, and just enjoy our time together.  We turn in early to rest up before the big day!

Huangyaguan Fortress

Saturday at 3:00am we are in the lobby of the hotel, getting breakfast boxes and getting ready to board the bus bound for the Huangyaguan fortress where the race begins.  I have been building up emotionally for this race for so long, that I almost feel numb now.  We get on the bus, and I sleep almost the entire 2 hours to the start of the race.  When we get off the bus, the wind is cutting and we all shiver from the cold.  Everything I read said it should be in the high 70s for the race, so I was not expecting this cold.  Unfortunately as the sun went up, the heat did in fact come with it.

We ran into a friend of Hyrum's from work.

At the start line.  Here we go!!!!

The beginning is all uphill, for 5km, leading up to the wall itself.  Then the fun begins.  Tiny steps, ginormous steps, skinny steps, wide steps.  Up and down we went for 3 more km.  The last 1 km is a steep descent on the "goat track."  I was shocked at how difficult going down a ton of stairs can be.  Both mine and Hyrum's legs were shaking by the time we were half way down the goat track.

With 2,500 runners and some supportive friends and family, we did some aerobic warm ups and all got ready to go.  Sunscreen, check!  Race belt with energy blocks, sport jelly beans, band aids, camera and music inside, check!  We stowed our bags for when we are finished, check!  At 8:00am Hyrum and I crossed the start line to the third hardest marathon in the world.

It was up and down hills through villages after that.  Many Chinese villagers were on the sides of the roads cheering us on, giving us the thumbs up, saying something in Chinese that I have no idea what the translation is, but I'm assuming it was something to the effect of "good job!"  My two favorite moments were when a small boy ran up to me and gave me a pink flour that I pinned to my bib, and when I was coming around a corner and two little girls almost ran right into me shoving papers into my hands asking my to sign them.  The people, especially the kids were such an encouragement to me, and a distraction along the way.  

 

A few times when we were going up hills, Hyrum took my hand and pulled me up them, and on steep stairs, he would even push me up from behind.  We had made a chart of where we had to be every 5 miles to be able to finish under the 8 hour time limit and Hyrum kept track of it, telling me when we were right where we needed to be, or when we were a few minutes ahead. (The most we ever got ahead of our time limit was about 10 minutes.)  He was certainly my rock, and so patient when I know he could have been running circles around me.

Going up the "goat track"

This was about the time I started relating this race to giving birth.  Many similar thoughts ran through my head.  Heavenly Father, please give me strength.  I don't think I can do this.  This was a really bad idea.  Hyrum, this is your fault! (I actually never thought that while giving birth, but I was certainly thinking it during the race.  I wanted to do the half marathon, but he kept telling me we could do the full) This really really hurts.  FOR THE LOVE!! But we kept on going, kept pushing through.

More stairs?!?!?!

Approaching mile 22, it was time to reverse the first 8 km.  That's right, we had to go back up that "goat track!"  As we headed up the steep steps, I started getting really light headed and hearing ringing in my ears.  I have only blacked out once (after giving birth to Celeste) and I knew I needed to sit down before I fell down the stairs against my will.  I ate another energy block, drank a bunch of water and took it really slow with Hyrum right behind me.  I was really getting concerned about being able to finish the race within the allotted time at this point.  After a second block, a bunch more water and going ridiculously slow, I finally started feeling better.  We finished up all of the stairs and were on the downhill for the last 5 km.

Seriously, are we done yet?

My body hurt so bad at this point, and trying to run downhill was so jarring that I had a hard time making myself do anything more than a fast walk.  Hyrum kept vigilant watch on our time and said we were fine not jogging, so we continued on with our fast walk.  As we came to the last corner where I knew the finish line was just beyond it, a young boy, maybe 9 or so, cheered us on and said "Come on!  You're almost there, RUN!  Don't walk!"  We obligingly did as he had encouraged and ran as tears streamed down my cheeks.  We finished at 7 hours 55 minutes and 53 seconds.  Just 4 minutes and 7 seconds to spare.  Hyrum and I grasped hands, lifting them in victory as we crossed the finish line.  He then twirled me and dipped me with a big kiss to finish our race.  I was exhausted, hurting and emotionally spent, but we had succeeded!
I learned that indeed, I can do hard things.  Even when I really don't want to.  I learned (okay, I already knew, but this solidified that knowledge even more) that I am so blessed beyond measure to have an amazing husband who pushes me to try harder than I want to, pushes me to be better, pulls me along or gently pushes me up and forward when I feel too weak to do it myself.  And above all, encourages me the whole time, telling me I am doing awesome and that I've got it.
It has only been 3 days and I am still sore, but the race already feels surreal to me.  Like I never really did it.  Like it was so hard that my mind decided to try and forget that I ever did it.  Thankfully I have pictures to show me that it was accomplished and yes, Hyrum and I ran 26.2 miles through China and on the Great Wall of China.  Woohoo!!!!

Kimball's Birth

My friend Beki Phelps came over about 10:00 one morning to visit.  She had recently moved and we hadn't been able to see each other very much lately.  As her 9 year old Adia played with the kids Beki and I chatted.  Hyrum came home to go with me to a doctor's appointment.  I had planned on dropping my kids off at a friends house, but Beki said she would just stay at the house with them since she was already there.  At the doctor appointment, I was told I was dilated to a 4 but still very thick, so they didn't think Kimball would be coming anytime soon.  I asked her if she would strip my membranes to maybe get things going.  She told me the labor and delivery unit was pretty full and backed up because of the typhoon the week before (inductions and planned c-sections) so they would shoot her if she sent another pregnant lady into labor.  Because I was so thick though, she didn't think it would send me into labor so she did it while telling me she "wasn't stripping my membranes."  We went home and Beki and I continued to chat and let our kids play.  When it was close to dinner time we told Beki she should call her husband Flournoy and have him come over and they all could just stay for dinner.

Notice the blood down my arm from their "quick prick."

Hyrum was driving our friends the Hancock's to the airport (an hour drive each way) while the Phelps and I stayed home and chatted some more.  I started noticing some contractions, but they weren't regular, close together, or exactly how I remembered them feeling so I ignored them.  I teased the Phelps telling them they might not be leaving tonight since Jessica Hancock (who Hyrum was taking to the airport) was the one who was supposed to be staying with our kids while I have Kimball.  By the time Hyrum got back, the contractions were coming much more often and I was thinking more and more that I might need to go to the hospital.  I let him know that the contractions were about 2 minutes apart now and getting closer quickly.  Having been turned away once before, neither of us were quick to gather things and head to the hospital.  About 10 minutes later we had everything in the car and were on our way to the hospital which is about 25 minutes away.  Half way there I was to the point that I told Hyrum I was ready for the epidural.
We pulled into the almost empty parking lot and headed for the front doors.  Before we got there however I had to stop and kneel down on the curb because it was hurting so bad and I couldn't walk through it.  It was at this point that Hyrum knew I wasn't going to be getting my epidural.  He wisely kept his mouth shut.  We got up to the third floor and every few steps I would have to stop, hold onto the railing in the hallway and squat down.  Unfortunately the railing ended and I ended up stopping and getting on all fours a couple of times before getting to the labor and delivery area of the hospital.  I was admitted into triage as we waited for my doctor.  I was getting really really uncomfortable at this point.  They said they needed to take my blood and run a test which would take about 20 minutes before I could get my epidural.  The doctor came in to check me at about 10:30 before they could take my blood and let me know that I was dilated to an 8 and 90% effaced.  In terror I asked her if that meant I would not be able to get my epidural.  She must have seen the terror in my eyes as she assured me (aka, completely lied to me) that I would have time and they were getting the anesthesiologist as soon as my blood work came back.  I told Hyrum I couldn't continue with the pain for 20 more minutes.  It felt like that would be an eternity to me.  They were hurrying to take my blood as quickly as they could doing a "quick stick" and spraying my blood all down my arm.
Because they were hurrying so much I figured that meant there was still a chance for me to get my epidural.  It was getting truly unbearable as they quickly wheeled me out of triage and into a labor room.  I was sitting on the edge of the bed with Hyrum standing in front of me and I grabbed his belt as hard as I could with each contraction and in a panic kept repeating, "No, no, no, no!  Hyrum!  No!"  I didn't notice, but apparently up to this point, they had been setting up for the birth.  I started feeling pressure and franticly let the nurse and doctor know as they continued hurriedly setting everything up.  The doctor asked if I still wanted the epidural or if I just wanted to push and be done.  I wanted the drugs!  I didn't want to push!  I was so delusional at the time I didn't realize she knew I wasn't getting my epidural and was trying to trick me into being okay going natural.  Tricky tricky indeed.  They had me lay down to be checked then I tried to sit up because laying down during a contraction was awful, but the nurse and Hyrum grabbed me and exclaimed, "Where are you going?!"

"She's coming!"  I announced in a panicky voice.  "Yes she is!"  My doctor kept repeating after me.  I am going so quickly they don't even have time to put my feet up into the stirrups.  I have people on either side of me holding my legs up into position.  She asked if I want her to break my water because it hasn't broken yet then tells me to push.  I push and what I think is water explodes out of me and all over my super nice and competent male nurse.  I am in full on panic mode now and I swear I cannot breathe.  They tell me I can breathe because I am breathing but I keep insisting I can't breathe.  They put a mask over my mouth and nose and give me oxygen which helps.  Not so much because of the oxygen I don't think, but having something physically on my face that I can somewhat (delusionally) focus on.  Hyrum is trying to keep me calm through all of this.  He asks me to look at him and all I can do is shake my head no.  He asks if I am mad at him and again I shake my head no.  I just can't look at him or anything in particular.  I just have to keep my head straight and not think.

The view from my window.  Sweet!

They tell me to push and I am beyond terrified.  I have always told people that I get quieter when I am in pain.  Which is generally true.  Apparently when I am in an unbelievable amount of pain and scared out of my whits, I do the opposite.  As I screamed through the pushes and the oxygen mask, Hyrum kept trying to tell me that pushing works better if I put my energy into the push and not the scream so I should try not screaming.  Needless to say, that did not go over very well.  I actually did try for one push to hold the scream in and put it into the push.  It didn't help.  My nurse kept telling me "You're doing great mom."  To be honest, I didn't believe him and thought that was just what he says to all of his patients to try and keep them trying.  After 3 contractions of pushing, she finally came out at 10:51pm.  They laid her right on me, but I was so tired and out of it that I mostly thought of the fact that I was still in my normal clothes and they were getting a lot of gunk on my shirt and then that I was too tired and exhausted mentally and physically to hold her.

I wanted them to just give her to Hyrum, but at the same time I felt like I was supposed to hold her.  They eventually took her away to clean her up and do her vitals.  After everything calmed down I asked the nurse if that was my water breaking earlier.  He informed me that it was not.  That poor nurse got peed all over.  Luckily he was really nice about it and said it wasn't the first time.  I still apologized profusely.  He again told me that I did a really great job, and this time I actually believed him.  Kimball Olivia Bronson weighed in at 7 lbs 7 ozs and 19.75 inches long.  She was born July 11th, 3 days before her due date.  At about 3 or 4 the next morning, I woke up, walked over to Hyrum's pullout chair/bed thing and started crying telling him I have never been so scared in my life.  I have never had any desire to give birth without an epidural before, and have no desire to do it in the future.  But I guess at least now I can say that I have done it.