Exhibit A
The Snow.
Exhibit B

Wrestling. Much to the disappointment of ALL parties, Dad is just not around much to help in this department. I'm really trying to suck it up and embrace it this year. Well, maybe "embracing it" is a stretch. I'm crying quietly to myself. Does that count for anything?
Exhibit C
That white, plastic container would, in fact, be a Throw-Up Collector. Need I say more?