Everyone Loves Chocolate

Including our munchkin.

Brad surprised me with a package of Dove's  Chocolate with Caramel today for Valentine's Day.  I found it in the car with some twizzlers and a love note on my way to work.  I put them in my purse for later since I had to work and was going to Zumba right after.  When I got home, I'd forgotten they were still in my purse and let Naomi play in the living room while Brad and I cleaned up our Valentine's Day dinner-- yum, steak!  It was quiet in the living room.

Too quiet.

Brad goes  to see what's going on, and finds this cheesy grin...

The Munchkin had found my chocolate, opened the bag, and ate 3 chocolates by the time we found her.  She even took the foil off!  of at least three of them...

Am I a terrible mom, or what?!

Mindful Eating Day 5

Goal: Nurture your needs without using food.

Journal: What emotions trigger you to eat for reasons other than physical hunger? When you eat mindlessly, what are you really hungry for? What activities can you do that will nurture your needs without overeating?

Now, I've been thinking about this one a lot, lately.  And I've kinda decided that I'm more of an "emotional not-eater" than an emotional eater.  Any time I feel upset, sad, angry, frustrated, depressed, hurt, or any other negative feeling-- I also have an urge to stop eating, or *gasp* throw up if I've already eaten.  (I've never actually intentionally purged.  Way to go, me!)  My stomach just wants to be empty when I feel those feelings.  It's in knots and nothing can make it feel better until those feelings go away.  About the only thing I can stomach is water or plain lettuce to nibble on.

What am I really hungry for in those moments?  I don't know.  Maybe just peace?  Comfort? Validation?  Maybe I just feel my emotions in my stomach and if they are negative, then I want them out.  I want them to go away.  Similar to wanting it out of my stomach?  I've turned lately to exercise to help me not feel those negative feelings anymore.

When I overeat-- I think it's mostly out of boredom.  Exercise can help fill that void, too.  it can give me what I'm really "hungry' for-- something interesting to do.  And it can give me a boost of endorphins, too, and make me feel happier!

Mindful Eating Day 4

Goal: Eat three real meals today.

Journal: Compare the differences between merely eating food and eating a real meal. How does the eating experience contribute to feelings of satisfaction?

Wow. This was kinda tough.  I didn't realize how routine and thoughtless me meals were.  I usually wake up, feed Naomi and play with her to keep he happy and entertained.  By the time it's 11am or 12noon, I realize that I'm hungry and haven't eaten anything all day.  So I go for something quick and easy-- cereal.  A mix of Special K Chocolaty Delight and Special K Fruit and Yogurt cereal with some 1% milk.  But Since I was more hungry and trying to think about what I really wanted that "morning" i decided I wanted some extra fruit and yogurt; so I made a smoothie, too.  What a difference making that smoothie did for my breakfast.  It was delicious!  I felt pumped enough to try doing some old workout DVDs that I hadn't used since before I got pregnant.  It felt so good!

After my workout, it was a little after 2pm.  I was supposed to be at work at 3pm.  But I needed to wake up Naomi from her nap, feed her, take a shower after working out, and eat a lunch before work.  Luckily, Brad came home right then, so he made me lunch.  I asked him to make me a tuna sandwich-- lots of protein after a good workout. I did need to eat it while driving to work... but I did put thought into what i wanted and why... does that count?  Sometimes it is just tough to eat a sit down meal! 

When I got home, it was time to start prepping dinner before I run off to my workout class at BYU.  Feed Naomi.  Go workout. Come home, and finish dinner.  Since Brad is studying like mad for a test, and Naomi is seriously craving attention since I've been gone for most of the last 4 hours, I eat in the living room while trying to entertain Naomi, and Brad's trying to study.

Yikes!  And this describes most days.  I don't think I really enjoyed my meals.  Breakfast was great, but I should have eaten it sooner.  I should have eaten lunch in less of a hurry, and at home instead of in the car on the way to work. And dinner would have felt better if it was on a table with the whole family there instead of spread across the house trying to get everything done.  While my stomach got full from my meals, I wasn't fully satisfied except after breakfast.  By the time 10pm rolled around, I was feeling hungry again, but didn't eat because of our running family biggest loser challenge.  I was cranky and tired.  I think if i can plan meals ahead better, the whole family could enjoy happier, more satisfying meals together.  I'm going to try and be better at this.

Mindful Eating Day 3

Goal: Eat your favorite foods and get rid of restriction.

Journal: Which foods do you periodically overeat because you have subconsciously restricted them in your mind? How would allowing yourself to eat these foods in moderation allow you to truly enjoy your food?

Hrmmm, that's an interesting question.  I think I've come a long way in this in the past few months even.  Chocolate is probably the one the one that I overdo the most for this reason.  Ice cream. Oreos.

Back in August 2010, I made a "contract" with my husband to motivate me to be healthier.  One of the stipulations was that I get to have 3 desserts/sweets per week.  It's really been about the perfect moderation.  It's enough that I watch what i eat, but at the same time, I don't feel super restricted and crave those things all the time.  if I want one, I just have to think-- do I want to use one of my dessert allowances for the week on this, or would I rather wait a day or two, or until next week?  It's never a matter of "I can't have that," but rather, "do i want this now?  or later?" Today I had my first dessert or the week-- chocolate covered pomegranates.  I LOVE those!

It was really hard the first month or so.  But now, I'm really comfortable with where I am.  Allowing myself to enjoy these sweet desserts occasionally has helped me to enjoy them MORE and be healthier.  It's great!  When I eat formerly "restricted" foods in moderation, I can enjoy it more precisely because it isn't over-indulgence, and it doesn't leave me craving it all the time.

I've also learned to enjoy more variety in my food.  I've learned that vegetables really do taste good. I like them.  And fruits, too.  I've tried new recipes.  And some of those foods I was eating all the time, when i've gotten a craving for them and decided to eat it-- I realize that it really didn't taste as good as I remembered.  Then I'm never bothered with craving it again.  It's very freeing to live and eat with out total restriction, but with goals and moderation.

Mindful Eating Day 2

Goal: Study the Lord’s Law of Health in Doctrine and Covenents 89

Journal: How does good health affect your ability to house the Holy Ghost? How does being filled with the Holy Ghost beautify you?

I think good health affects all other aspects of your life, especially your mental and emotional health.  I sometimes, okay, maybe often times, have trouble feeling good about myself because I am not considered "healthy and fit."  By all measures, I am considered obese despite all efforts to be healthy through exercise and healthy eating.  Since I'm not physically healthy, I spend a lot of energy thinking about how to be healthier, instead of listening to promptings of the Holy Ghost.  There are things I cannot physically do because I'm not healthy which I'm sure block me from being used by the Lord to help others and receive promptings from the Holy Ghost to do so.  Having a healthy body helps you to be healthy emotionally and spiritually.  If we are not following the lord's commandments to have good health, then we miss out on opportunities to have the Holy Ghost with us and give us "great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures."

I want to be better following the counsel of the Word of Wisdom so that I can receive the promise that I "shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint."  that promise means a lot to me as a person with asthma.  I have never been able to run even a half mile without needing my rescue inhaler.  I hate running because of it. I had to use it today at my HIIT class after an intense cardio segment.  I wish I could get rid of it, and not need it anymore.  I want to have better cardiovascular health so that asthma will have less of an effect on me and not stop me from exercises. But I'm not even sure if it works that way.

When I think of the Word of Wisdom, I always remember the "No strong or hot drinks, and No tobacco" commandments.  Bu there are others that I sometimes forget, like eating fruits and vegetables that are in season, and eat meat sparingly and "only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine."  That would take a lot of will power and time to change.  I'm working on eating fruits and vegetables in season.  Being a vegetarian during summer will be much more challenging, though I have noticed in past summers that I don't really feel like eating meat when it's hot unless it's fish or chicken or turkey.

This is a quote from the WSR page from someone's journal about this same challenge and I really liked it. 
Parley P. Pratt:

“[The Holy Ghost] quickens all the intellectual faculties, increases, enlarges, expands and purifies all the natural passions and affections; and adapts them, by the gift of wisdom, to their lawful use. It inspires, develops, cultivates and matures all the fine-toned sympathies, joys, tastes, kindred feelings and affections of our nature. It inspires virtue, kindness, goodness, tenderness, gentleness and charity. It develops beauty of person, form and features. It tends to health, vigor, animation and social feeling. It invigorates all the faculties of the physical and intellectual man. It strengthens, and gives tone to the nerves. In short, it is, as it were, marrow to the bone, joy to the heart, light to the eyes, music to the ears, and life to the whole being” (Key to the Science of Theology, 9th ed. [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1965], p. 101).

 I think that when the Holy Ghost dwells in us, it can make us appear more beautiful because having the spirit is a beautiful thing.  It fills you with light and happiness.  I have been praying a lot lately that I will be blessed for my efforts to work out and develop healthier eating habits.  I haven't really seen much improvement. at least by the number on my scale.  But perhaps I should instead be praying for the Holy Ghost to guide me in making healthier choices and to just be able to feel the Holy Ghost in me and have thanksgiving in all things that I eat. 


Actually, I think that's my new goal-- to eat with thanksgiving. Every time.

Mindful Eating Day 1

Goal: Take the eating attitudes quiz and look over “What Kind of Eater Are You?”.

Journal: What strengths did you discover in your eating attitudes? What specific habits do you have that you want to continue? What habits do you have that you would like to change throughout A Week of Mindful Eating?

Eating Attitudes Score: 24
*A TOTAL SCORE ABOVE 20 POINTS INDICATES HEALTHY EATING ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIORS.
*A TOTAL SCORE UNDER 20 POINTS MAY INDICATE UNHEALTHY ATTITUDES AND EXTREME EATING BEHAVIORS.

My Strengths
I can stop eating when I'm full.
I have never thrown up after eating (I may have thought about it, and attempted it, but never have).
I'm definitely not "too thin."
I don't buy into fad diets.
I have lots of self-control around food.  I can force myself to eat when I know I should but don't want to, and I can say no to foods I know are not good for me.

I want to continue to be able to listen to hunger cues to guide my eating.  I want to continue eating 3 healthy meals each day.  Skipping meals will not help me be healthier in the long-run; I want to always be able to remember that.  I want to continue following the healthy habits I'm beginning to learn about and truly develop them into habits-- like drinking lots of water, eating fresh fruits and veggies everyday, and eating treats in moderation.  I want to continue to be able to stop disordered eating thoughts before they lead to actions.

Where I Would Like To Improve
I would like to become less emotionally expressive in my diet.  When I am upset, I tend to hate food and want to not eat or work out a ton to burn off all calories I have eaten.  I want to stop being obsessed with food.  I want to be able to express my unhappy feelings without wanting to throw up and think about never eating again.  And I want to be happy with myself, how I look, and what I eat. Most of all, I want to be a healthy example for my daughter.

What Kind of Eater am I?
I think I'm a mix of many of these; lately I think I really resemble the "Careful Eater."  Would it make sense to be an "Emotional Not-Eater"?  Below are the descriptions as taken from the WSR Calendar for the Week of Mindful Eating Challenge.

Careful Eater: Appears to be the perfect eater, yet anguishes over each food morsel and its effect on the body. On the surface, this person seems health and fitness oriented, because he/she is vigilant about what is put into the body and is highly conscious of nutrition.
Unconscious Eater: This person is often unaware that she/he is eating, or how much is being eaten. To sit down and simply eat is viewed as a waste of time; eating is usually paired with another activity to be productive.
Chaotic Unconscious Eater: This person often lives an over-scheduled life--too busy, too many things to do. The chaotic eating style is haphazard--gulp ‘n go when the food is available. Chaotic eaters are often so busy putting out fires that they have difficulty identifying biological hunger until it’s fiercely ravenous.
Waste-Not Unconscious Eater:This person values the food dollar and his/her eating drive is often influenced by getting as much as you can for the money. This eater is inclined to clean the plate and is especially susceptible to all-you-can-eat buffets and free food.
Refuse-Not Unconscious Eater: This person is vulnerable to the mere presence of food regardless of whether she is hungry or full. Candy jars, food at meetings, and food on the kitchen counter will usually not be passed up by this individual.
Emotional Unconscious Eater: This person uses food to cope with emotions, especially uncomfortable emotions such as stress, anger, and loneliness. While emotional eaters view their eating as the problem, it’s often a symptom of a deeper issue. Emotional eaters can range from grabbing a candy bar in stressful times to chronic compulsive binges of vast quantities of food.
Professional Dieter: This person is perpetually dieting, often trying the latest commercial diet or diet book. Professional dieters know a lot about proportions of foods, calories, and “dieting tricks”, yet they are always
on another diet because the original never worked.
Intuitive/Mindful Eater: Intuitive eaters march to their inner hunger signals and eat whatever they choose without experiencing guilt. They honor hunger, respect fullness, and enjoy the pleasure of eating.

Letter of the Challenge vs. Spirit of the Challenge

In an effort to be healthier and have some fun with my in-laws, we're doing the Neeley Biggest Loser Challenge.

These are the components of my eating plan goal.
Eating Plan
1. Do not eat after 8pm
2. Do not eat more than 3 dessert per week; do not eat more than 1 dessert in a day.
3. Eat at least 1 veggie and 1 fruit per day (fresh).
4. Eat at least 3 times per day.

Looking at my goals, they all seem really good and healthy goals.  But one goal in particular is becoming a challenge to keep mostly because of the times when I exercise.  I go to BYU's fitness classes (it's like a gym membership, but much more affordable and at BYU instead of a gym) almost every day that they are offered.  The snag is the times they are offered-- one of my favorites is HIIT (high intensity interval training), and it's held at 7:30pm-8:20pm.

I've been doing some research on exercise and what you should eat before and after exercise and how to really build muscle and lose fat.  And I learned that you should eat some quick absorbing carbs for energy 30 minutes- 2 hours before doing strength training.  After exercising, you should eat lots of protein and some carbohydrates to help build and repair muscle (most importantly after strength training).  Here's some articles that explain it:
(the quick, simple version)http://ezinearticles.com/?Use-the-Metabolic-Window-in-Your-Quest-For-Heart-Health&id=1472353
or (the research based explination)http://www.utexas.edu/features/archive/2004/nutrition.html

My problem: one of my goals is to not eat after 8pm.  I made that goal with Brad before the Neeley Challenge and before I started a more intense exercise regimen.  It is a good goal, because eating late at night usually results in greater weight gain because the metabolism slows down at night.  But now that I'm working out later at night, specifically the HIIT class at 7:30-8:20pm, I'm in a tough spot.  I want to do the healthy thing and eat some protein and carbs to help my muscles grow and repair after working them out, but it's after 8pm.

So, I'm left with 3 options that I can see-- do I...
(1) keep the "letter of the challenge" and not eat after my HIIT class and get my 10 points for the challenge but not give my body the nutrition it needs to build and repair muscle,
(2) keep the "letter of the challenge" and eat after my HIIT class and lose my 10 points but give my body the nutrition it needs to build and repair muscle, or
(3) keep the "spirit of the challenge," which is to be healthier, and eat after my HIIT class and also give myself the points even though i technically broke one of my goals because I was doing the "healthy" thing.

What do you think I should do?