What to say?

What to say about today?

Today I am overwhelmed.
I am angry.
I am disappointed in myself.

I do a decent job of keeping everything together, of seeming okay.
(I even rocked a very big work thing today. Go me!) 
I deliberately plan things to look forward to.
I am great at finding diversions.
I laugh a lot.

Tonight it all has the better of me, though.

Two weeks is d-day. Instead of facing the deadline with organization and bravery and a fuck-it attitude, I'm stuck. I've put off the paperwork; the deadline is too close. I'm back in a not-good place that I didn't really ever want to have to go back to.

Tonight, it is just too hard to pretend that everything is okay.
I wish more people would be honest about that.