2014: Year in Review

December 2014 [Oliver: 4.5, Joshua: almost 2, Baby Girl: soon to arrive]

Another year has come and gone and it's time for my annual year-in-review here. I enjoy taking this time to reflect on the past year. 

1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before? Experience pregnancy while taking care of two young, active boys. It's an entirely different experience than being pregnant with my first and having down-time to relax or being pregnant with my second while working full time (mostly sitting at a desk). This takes exhaustion to a whole new level. I have never been this tired. I have never felt such physical strain on my body. Plus I'm older this time around (35). 
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? My goals last year were to have more patience, be more organized and have better time management. I still struggle with all three but I have been working on them. I have prayed for patience a lot and really tried to apply it with my boys. I think I have improved quite a bit but still have a ways to go. I am still very unorganized but have tackled some big projects as of late (the guest room/nursery, the loft, the downstairs closet and the laundry room). There are still so many to go, it's overwhelming. As for time management, I'm still pretty bad at it. Sigh. 
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No. 
4. Did anyone close to you die? No. 
5. What countries did you visit? I like how this question assumes I visited other countries. Not going to happen anytime soon, while our kids are still young. 
6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013? More sleep. (I can keep dreaming, as a newborn will only bring less sleep into my life.)
7. What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory and why? June 20, 2014 (the day I found out I'm pregnant with our third). 
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Surviving this pregnancy while keeping my boys alive. It's been rough. 
9. What was your biggest failure? Nothing big - just little frustrations - things I try to be better at and then let slip. 
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No. 
11. What was the best thing you bought? Wendel got me / us a Canon 6d camera for Christmas. We've had our old camera (Canon 20d) for almost 10 years so it was time for an upgrade. We are both very excited about it. 
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Oliver is doing great with his behavior for the most part. Cause for celebration, indeed. 
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? People I hear about on the news. Sad stories and disappointments in the human race. 
14. Where did most of your money go? Paying off some past debt, diapers, bills. 
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Expecting our little girl. I'm pretty thrilled we're having a girl. I'm excited to meet her (and never be pregnant again). :)
16. What song will always remind you of 2014? "Shake it Off" by Taylor Swift, "Blank Space" by Taylor Swift, "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry and "Counting Stars" by One Republic come to mind. 
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Just as happy, maybe happier. 
b) thinner or fatter? Definitely fatter with this baby on the way. 
c) richer or poorer? Richer, both financially and by way of feeling blessed with the addition of our little girl on the way. 
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? My answer is always the same for this question. I always wish I had more time to work on family history - mostly our boys' books. It's very important to me and I want to make it a priority but can't keep up right now with even the basics. I'm just so exhausted. 
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? No big regrets in this area. 
20. How did you spend Christmas? A quiet Christmas with our boys in the morning and then had family over for dinner (Wendel's parents, my dad and Dot, Levi and Amalie, Mitchell and Francesca and Susan and Boyd). 
21. Did you fall in love in 2014? More in love with Wendel, to be honest. I love seeing him be an amazing dad to our boys. I love his relationship with them, especially seeing how close he and Oliver are. I love seeing him fulfill his calling and strengthen the youth. I love that we have a good marriage and solid friendship and relationship. We have ups and downs, like everyone, but I have felt a definite increase in love and adoration for him this past year. 
22. What was your favorite TV program? Still Parenthood and The Big Bang Theory. Difficult to top these two. 
23. What was the best book you read? Elizabeth Smart: My Story. Excellent read. 
24. What was your greatest musical discovery? Not sure I had one, really. 
25. What did you want and get? A little girl (on the way). 
26. What did you want and not get? Nothing comes to mind. 
27. What was your favorite film of this year? The Secret Life of Walter Mitty was pretty good. Wendel and I both enjoyed it quite a bit. 
28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 35 this year. I was feeling sick on my birthday, in my first trimester. The only thing that sounded good to me was salad so Wendel and I met at Sweet Tomatoes for lunch. I talked to my sister, Lindsey, on the phone and she told me how much she looks up to me. It made me cry. 
29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? I don't know that it made my year more satisfying than last year but rendering service always brings satisfaction and joy. 
30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014? I've been all about comfort this year with being pregnant. 
31. What kept you sane? Wendel. Always Wendel. 
32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? None, really. 
33. What political issue stirred you the most? Hearing about the Islamic terrorist group, ISIS, beheading reporters to make a statement. It is horrible to think about. 
34. Who did you miss? I still miss some of my coworkers from CPS. I miss my family who lives in Utah. I miss a few friends in Washington. 
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014: I can do hard things. It's okay to be tired - I'm not here on earth to feel rested all the time. I'm here to work and make a difference and raise a family. 
36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "These Are the Days" by 10,000 Maniacs. See this post for the lyrics and why it sums up my year. 

Hi

I am sitting in our guest room. Oliver and Wendel are asleep and I will be joining them soon. I am thinking about how much is going to change in the next couple of months. Only four weeks until I go on FMLA at work and six weeks until this baby's due date. I am starting to hear sporadic Christmas songs on the radio, which is another reminder that this baby is coming soon (not that I need a reminder - my large belly and constant state of discomfort keep me pretty aware of his upcoming due date).

I am nervous to have two. I am nervous to go through the newborn stage again. I am nervous to stay home and not be working in the capacity I have been working in. Being a mom is a lot of work and it's very different to do that full time than go to an 8-5 job, especially one as crazy as mine. As difficult as my job is, I think staying home will be very hard too. I am nervous about filling the days, being able to entertain Oliver and give enough attention to him while taking care of the baby, and not going stir-crazy. I think this will be the biggest adjustment for me in the coming months. I feel it is important to be at home with our children and part of me is looking forward to it but I also think it will be really hard for me. I think I need to get into a good routine with them. If any of you stay-at-home moms have any tips for me, I would love to hear them.

This baby is moving around so much. I watch my stomach move up and down and feel my belly button being pushed out. Another thing I am worried about is what to name this little guy. I have a name picked out that I love but Wendel is not a fan. He likes the names Bolt and Moose (still - he liked them for Oliver too) and I am not a fan of those. So we have another name dilemma. I need to start thinking of other names since I don't think my first pick is going to make the cut but I am drawing a blank. I think I just love the name I have in mind so much, it is difficult to think of him being named anything else. So...any name ideas for me? I really like classic, old-fashioned names with no weird spellings. Help me out.

life

My poor neglected blog. Sadly, it doesn't make the cut on my priority list. Family, work, house work, photography, spirituality, exercise, going on dates with my husband, playing with my son, paying the bills, organizing our garage (okay, I haven't even been working on this task lately), unwinding with Facebook, reading other blogs, etc. after a long day...all take priority over keeping up with this old blog, despite my New Year's resolution to do the opposite. It actually took the death of a friend to bring me here tonight. This morning I found out my friend Kim passed away. Kim was in my BASW program and in the new cohort of my MSW program (after I had to leave my original cohort when I took time off after having Oliver and joined a new cohort to graduate with). Our cubicles were next to each other at our practicums. We took her daughter's Senior Pictures. Kim is a wonderful person who loves her daughter so much. I say is because I know that she is still herself and that she continues to exist. I know she is in a better place and free from the Cancer-causing pain that evaded her body. I know she will always be an example of love and devotion to her daughter. I feel blessed to have known her.

Life is so precious. It is so short. Sometimes that is difficult to remember when I get caught up in the busyness of day-to-day life. And it takes something like the death of a friend to wake me up and remind me not to take things or people or anything for granted. "Life is a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God." (Alma 12:24) It can be easy to forget the urgency in our purpose here on earth, the reason we were placed here. Yes, life is hard. But that is not all it is. There is a reason we face trials. It is part of our preparation for things to come. Once again, I am reminded that I need to check my priorities.

Like these two. I love them so much and don't ever want to take them for granted.

P.S. Kim had Melanoma, which is the most dangerous kind of skin cancer. She would have wanted me to remind you that going to tanning beds is not worth it.

chaos

I saw this on Kelly McCaleb's blog and thought it was perfect for my blog too. Life has been a bit chaotic for...the past two years, really. Since I started grad school while being pregnant. I think that started the chaos. Then we moved out of our house in Washington and stayed with friends for three months before moving to Arizona. It's always a little chaotic living out of suitcases and not having your own space (though we will forever be grateful for their kindness). Then moving to another state is crazy. Once we got here, we had two weeks to unpack and get settled before starting new jobs. We are both working full time right now, which is also chaotic. So I really, really like that quote above. It gives me hope that change isn't far off. A change involving more peace and time to be still. But, in the meantime, I am trying to enjoy this crazy stage of life too. There are things I like about working. I like that I'm using my education and skills to help children and families. I like that I am able to talk about the gospel with co-workers. I like seeing growth as I challenge myself to do really hard things. I miss my little guy, though. That part is really hard. Here's to hoping that change isn't too far off.

i've been keeping a secret...

and I'm glad I can finally share it with you! I am pregnant! I am 12 weeks, due March 13th. We are really excited. We got to hear the heartbeat on Wednesday and that was amazing. So far I haven't been sick (please don't hate me, those of you reading who have rough pregnancies). I have been incredibly tired, though, and I get headaches frequently. Working full time, I am especially tired. I am pretty much useless when I come home from work and often go to bed around 9:30 (which, if you know me well, you know is not like me at all). I hear you have more energy in the second trimester so I'm holding onto that hope.

For those of you who are wondering, yes, I'm going to try to go to grad school and have a baby at the same time. It will be crazy. We'll see how it goes.

So that is our happy news. We couldn't be happier about it. (Heather and Katie, I'm glad I'll be in good company. How fun!)

Here is a picture of me at 12 weeks:



Maybe I will get back to more regular blogging if the tiredness really wears off like I've been told it will. No promises though.

i'm all about extremes, apparently

I got a job so I am insanely busy now! I must admit, I was enjoying the relaxing life. My new job is full-time, plus photo shoots on Saturdays, so I have my hands full. I'm so grateful for my job though. It fell right into my lap, thanks to the wonderful people I worked with at CHS, where I've been volunteering / interning this past year. They referred me for an open position at CHS, but at the Auburn office, so I interviewed and got the job. I started the next day! Crazy! I am a program manager over this really cool program for low-income families that strengthens couples and families. So far it is a little overwhelming but I think I'm going to like it. Anyway, I might not be blogging for a while...no time!

crazy day

There was a bomb threat in our neighborhood today. We had just finished a photo shoot when my friend Crystal called and asked if we were okay. She told me there was a swat team and 20 police cars across the street from our neighborhood. We tried to go home but the streets were blocked off. We were told there was a bomb threat and it would be hours before we could return home. Kind of scary. You start thinking about your pets and the things you couldn't live without if your house blew up (my 64 journals, my hard drive with photo sessions and specifically a clients' wedding pictures on it...).

We ended up going to see Star Trek and going out to eat at Fondi's (the best pizza ever). We tried to enjoy ourselves even though there was a chance our house could be blown apart while we were eating our pizza.

We were finally able to return home around 7:30 pm. Turns out, the guy only threatened a bomb but didn't really have one in his house. He aimed a riffle at the helicopter team that was circling above and he was shot and killed (did he think this would end well?) The crazy thing is, this was a house behind the house that is across the street from us.

I'm feeling grateful to be safe.

*Read more about it here.

my busy life

I feel like I can't keep up with my life lately...I just need to make it seven more weeks. I can do this, right?

confession

There's something you should know about me. Are you ready? I really cannot draw. There, I said it. I consider myself to be a fairly creative person, but when it comes to drawing, it's just not happening. To demonstrate, I will share with you a picture I attempted to draw this weekend while playing Pictionary with some friends. It says "homebodies" at the top because that is what I was supposed to be drawing, but there was a mix up, and consequently I thought I was supposed to be drawing something else. Can you guess what it is?

Do I hear a mangled Beagle anyone? Because I wouldn't blame you if you thought so. But no, this is my attempt to draw a unicorn. Seriously. This is what I'm saying about not being able to draw. (Aleisa, I bet you didn't think I would really post this on my blog, right?) I was laughing so hard about this, I started to cry. I really got a work out from all of the laughing. It was great.

Other weekend note-worthy events:

1. We chaperoned a youth dance. I was surprised by how much fun it ended up being. We danced right along with them. We haven't danced together since our wedding, and even then it wasn't really dancing (how much can you dance in a big, heavy dress?) But before that, we both loved dancing. It was nice to re-visit that love.

2. I finally had time to give our house some much-needed attention. I cleaned the guest bathroom, tidied up my office a bit, did laundry, and lots of other things around the house. I am starting to feel a bit more in control of my life, which is a good thing.

3. I finally finished up these senior pictures.

Overall, it was a great weekend. Tomorrow is the start of another busy week. Bring it on!