the new people (links)
are some more "fake- danes"
slowly getting to know each other,
already belonging to one family.

and Arve,-
met him in Sweden,
has interesting stories to tell
and languages to speak
listen to his music
on his homepage

ach, Emo!

Still projectwork-time.
Besides that the conversations between girls
are constantly turning around food.
Told them the other day how there were these punks in
the big german city pointing fingers at me
"look, there's an emo!"
that is just hilarious,- i was wearing a dress with dots.
Some people would have called it "Rockabilly".
Germans love their subcultures...
I'm also not "Straight-edge" (though i like that name)
or a "gothic".
(Guys, not everyone who preferes
to wear black and has black hair is a gothic.
What the heck is a gothic?)

The response of my studymate:
(she was balancing on one leg while saying this,
-her other leg stretched to the sky)
"Well, we don't have that so much here in Denmark.
But i belong to the subculture of the "Sylfides".
These are people who are beautiful and stretchy."
- laying half on the ground laughing and shaking-

In a certain way i feel free to be more "femininelooking"here.
Maybe it's the perceived danish sylfide-feminity-concept.
it can be a pressure to be always "styled"
it can be too much, and sure being feminin
is not just about the outer looks.
But right now i just enjoy it to wear skirts, dresses
and shoes with decent heels (who would have thought i'd ever start doing that)
without feeling to be immediately "categorised".

piger, vi skal danse!

mothertongue

as i started to think about it
i never liked my mothertongue very much
it seemed too harsh, too structured,
the rythm of speaking not really mine.
A language of war and good to command.
Nevertheless the language i learned first,
which gave meaning to the world i explored.

the last days i've been reading an english translation
from a text of a german philosopher for our project work.
the translator often put the german term in brackets
after the english translation.
Somehow i realised and remembered that German is and was
also formed and influenced by the thinkers and poets.
There exist philosophical words and terms which are hard to translate
into other languages as the translation never really hits the core of its meaning.
A lot of words that signify states of human relationships, morality, consciousness, rationality.
The wish to find exact names for realities and abstractions.
The feminisation of every word for every role a woman could take.

I'm not having too much knowledge about this and i still don't think german is nice sounding.
But somehow it evoked an appreciation in me for the language that might enable me to think in a way no other language could. Which does certainly count for every language.

"Zuwendung"
- translated as unconditional concern-,
to me the word in itself names a movement: turning-to
to turn to someone, look at someone, an attitude of recognition
focus with all your being towards someone
a "i see you and i'm here with you"

more songs like that

Damien Rice has this new record out.
one of the lovesongs goes like this:
... i love your doublechin...

we need more songs like that

ud af byen

've been out on the road, or better out on the railway again
visiting some people from my language course
- we nearly spend the whole day inside eating a lot together and talking about all kinds of issues,
the importance of forgiveness, the wish to get somewhen somewhere settled.
India. Watching movies.

Went further to the very north point of this country,
where the two seas embracing Scandinavia come together
the light was beautiful
old bunkers on the beaches
there were penguins and seals
(I nearly forgot, that there are free animals)
the s-train was the same as the one from my hometown
and a nice italian guy made a coffeecreation extra for me

somehow psalm 116 became my prayer for us

Was also on one of the other islands of this country
and comforted by the danish/scandinavian way of
making their their buildings so "hyggelig"

travelling is also about finding out of all the beauty and goodness
God has placed on this earth and in people
and to be simply happy about it

well, as i´m playing on my blog right now anyway, i added some new people

Stephen,
whom i only know since a short time i´m here.
He makes lots of photos
has some kind of similar music taste to mine (i´m always getting excited meeting christians with the similar music taste:) is married to beautiful Dawn and i met him the first time
as he prayed for me:)
Looking forward to the future to see how things within "our" group will develop...

Markus,
with whom i lived for 1 year together in 1 house.
Though i never had a lot of contact to him and doesn´t know him very well,
he and Andrea always have been inspiring and encouraging people to me and
i´m excited to hear about the news of their developing community in Ramsdorf.
So check out their blog (if you can speak german:)

by the way

wow, i just found out after some helpless tries how to change my location on my profile
(the nice things about one's own stupidness is often that it provides you with some laughter...)

Nu er det helt klar:
Jeg bor i danmark, ok!


and i just got to share some more excitement:
i think i got since two weeks this "Wow, i start to understand the danes - wake up dingsbums"
i´ve been always so frustrated with only understanding few of the words if i listened to people randomly talking,- it was only about figuring out which words i know they actually used instead of getting the meaning of a whole sentence. And somehow i woke up one day und suddenly i started to understand...
Yesterday i started reading a danish book (i have to read 3 danish books within 6 weeks for my danish lessons- if i got that right). I was badly tired after a long day, but just thought i try to start reading this novel in expectation of just getting annoyed because i will have to look up my dictionary all the time.
But somehow it was simply understandable to me, even if not every word (the book is written in quite easy everyday-language) made sense to me and i just ended up reading 4 chapters. Hihi. Thank you Jesus for your grace.

Soli deo gloria in november

well, it´s been quite a while
sometimes there are times when it´s hard to put in words what you experience:)

I´m doing really well these days
just came back from a wonderful weekend in stockholm
where we had 24-7 nordic family gathering.
This time was certainly so encouraging for me,
to hear all the stories of what god has done in the different cities left me amazed, glad and at first also a bit ashamed, realising again that god is still the same that he still knows me,
though i´ve been struggling a lot in the last months to trust and follow him.
Got really excited to hear so many dreams and to talk with people about community,
to pray and drink cofffee together. There was just this freedom to speak out our thoughts
and also to speak out about each other and to each other as it was about jesus and us as family.
Loved to meet Resa, Erikka, Krister and Mathilda again (missed you Laura) and to meet lots of new people with funny connections (like: "didn´t i meet you somewhere in a kitchen in Oslo last year?") and with whom it simply feels so well being with.

And to experience that God doesn´t forget our prayers. He really don´t! I mean sometimes prayer becomes this religious practice of what you do because you used to and anyway it feels good to give things to God, and suddenly i´m talking with this one man in a kitchen and i become so aware that he and his dreams are part of the answer to a prayer i felt i had to pray a year ago and nearly forgot about...
Somehow i feel it´s right to be here, and i´m really looking forward of what to come.

Besides that i had a nice autumn in Denmark.
Exploring the city more, went with a friend to Møns Klint (i know the pic is cheasy and touristic) but it´s nevertheless absolutely beautiful when you are there in the night with the black sea and white chalkrocks...),


reading a lot about migration and integration issues
(some outcome thoughts of it might appear later on this blog),

and "Hygge" (the ultimate danish word for having a nice cozy time together with people you like, candles, music, tea, maybe also some knitting:) books, curryfood,... the list is enlargable
Guys: Have a "Hyggeaften"!!!

the good life?

right know i`m enjoying and struggeling
getting settled in my new living commune
enjoying sunny mornings with massive latte macchiatos on the sunterace
and small english lectures
hoping not to get involved in biketraffic accidents as i have to learn some rules here
("never forget to put up the right hand as you are stopping" i say to myself everytime again i hear the squeaking tires of bikes behind me and get some bad looks)
new people and new people and new people
getting used to live with each other

i´m an immigrant; you are not from here? and welcome
my head being dizzy
dreaming of friends, waking up and realising how much i actually miss them
putting myself to work and being "active" as compensation of everything i´m always and always again leaving behind and the fear of loosing hold with loosing structures and ideas i used to worship (thanks tom for this one post)
not knowing what all of this is going to be about

the hitch-hike-issue

just conquered one of my fears
hitch-hiking:
- though i`m used to go by lifts i always found this more dangerous
maybe thats also true...
however, just went from Danmark back to Germany (to leave in 3 days finally again)

went some way with a libanese man we talked about social work and migration issues,
he just told me his story of have been in the libanese childrenarmy and fleeing from it all the 5000 km to danmark in the age of 16. Now he´s probably in his 40s working in a factory in Danmark. Just talked about this thing of not feeling anything about these former times and exprience as some kind of selfprotection. Was really good for me to get a glimpse of how the lifes can go on from the teenagers i workes with the last half year (as they also "worked" with me).

Got catched up later on by a woman with a great charisma, who workes in all kinds of countries for the WHO and is now married to a man from Kenia. She also wrote lost of Articles about refugees and empowerment and lived with her family and and a refugeefamily from Iran together for a while...

Also a cute, older german Truckdriver took me with him, really had fun being in this huge truck and talking with him. He wanted to take me with to Austria, but i thought it would be better for me get out earlier:)

This is one of these strange days that started sad because of saying goodbye to people; but found me just amazed sitting in cars talking to people that tell me from some "topics i believe to really become topics of my life"-
i´m thankful for having met so many nice amazing people on one day
i love being alive

communications

its going well
feel more and more secure in speaking danish
and beside i love it to have all these talks with the people here
we mainly speak english, everyone with his/her own accent and way of expressing him or herself, - which is great:

I dont like the sea here so much, because its full of vegetables.

Are you hungry with me? No, im not hungry. But something is not right, i can see it in your face. Oh, No, no im not angry with you, just a little tired...

the morning rituals of waking each other up, and when someone sleeps too long then everyone comes too late...
complains from tomoko in the morning about:

waiting for italiano, always waiting for italiano...

the bath issue
laughing and being angry about the tiredness and misunderstandings

good that people are different

knallert forbudt

learning a new language is in my opinion maybe one of the most important experiences to make...
i just feel so stupid right now learning danish
i'm in a class where nearly all people speak danish much better than i do
we discuss all kind of live topics and i feel like a child that is not able to express itself in proper words, with the difference that that what i want to say is maybe much more complicated that what a child wants to express, i'm drowning in embarrasment nearly every time i want to say something
this is so frustrating...
and to go through this frustration, not become all angry when i don't understand anything (when i still don't understand after 3 times of repeating),
not to loose confidence, and not to become quiet might be quite a good character training, (aargh)
good that most people here also speak english ..

besides that it's really nice to figure that verbal communication is really not everything,
really like our neighborlivingcommune, two italians, a guy from switzerland, one other polish guy,
and a japanese girl. I really like her, and we have to repeat nearly every simple sentence we say to each other twice- german and japanese accented danish, you know
- but we just smile at each other and there is total understanding- it's really nice to have situations where both can't find words but you just know you understand each other (or believe to...)

some days ago one of my polish friends here told me in a english- german- mix what i should text in danish to her turkish collegue...

besides that it's raining far too much, so that even our warm italians get slightly in a rather depressed mood... hope we will all overcome that

i'm grateful to be here, yes

eastcoast

yes, against all fears i arrived well
for my one-month language course in Denmark
the guy who gave me a lift also drove to this city to start his exchange semester

i was slightly stressed before because the university didn't give me any message
if they organised any room for me, so i actually started making some plans via hospitalityclub:)
but as we arrived they gave me the keys for a wonderful room in quite an erasmus living commune- living together with a wonderful polish guy and his girlfriend, a canadian russian,
two very english girls and our neighbors below are two danish guys in quite a messy red house
i never thought it would be that good
just smelling some garlic food now, listening to very loud music and typing on a "polish computer"

the language course started very well- there are about 140 exchange students here at this ultramodern university, still we are nearly to 80% germans in my language course-
heared today in one of the cultural lectures that in 1944 germany occupied this city and used the university as the Gestapo headquarters... Germany, will i ever be able to escape from you (?:)

Hope you all enjoy your summer...

goodbye dock 11...

aargh
don´t feel like leaving again
the whole city is partying
i rather would take part in the lives of my friends


guess its time to get some fresh hair colour

july

´ve been for one week in the town i´m actually studying
We visited on day a small castle, which was borrowed from the city (who had no money to renovate it) to a group of 6 friends for a euro per year,- they just have to renovate it bit by bit
any other investor said no cos the costs would be too high, but these friends said lets try it
and moved in with a little circus. Now it is a company of a lot of people all working in this castle and in the park around, the castle is still morbid, but in a very nice way. They made in that beautiful building space for sensual exploration. Lot´s of things about feeling, tasting, smelling, seeing, hearing, working with your sense of orientation, water and fire, ...
There was one amazing room where you could put few sand on metalplates and produce a sound with a violine string by going with it along the corners of the metalplates. As soon the sound was produced the sand jumped up and feel down in filigrane patterns like you can see in snowflakes. These sandlines showed how the audiowaves went trough the metalplate- i was really amazed.
They have there everyday lots of schoolclasses and other groups as visitors to train people to use all their senses again... great thing

Besides that i finished my practical semester, was not so easy to say goodbye to the kids
and to the less or more wonderful chaos i worked in
will miss the broken German, situation humor and everyday stories of the kids
("my nerves are empty, i can´t do homework now", "it´s good for a boy to eat pizza and fries, girls shall eat fruits", "Iran is for men, Germany is for women", "your head is beautiful"- did i tell that i got a pink oversized shirt for my birthday from one of the boys...:-)

met a woman who is doing indianic dances in Denmark which are good for world peace,
we had great talks about friendship, living together, and crazy stories of live (go by lifts!)

i love my living commune,
we finally finished our self made leather flip flops, made a gallery of big black-white-photos of the profile of our deformed stomaches in the bath room, cooked "holundersirup", i sprayed my first selfmade stancel and we still take care that our flat is full of flowers and coffee fragrance

Will go this weekend to beautiful dresden
and then some old, old friends and i will spend some days on an old farm on the country side just to do nothing than talking, eating, listening to music and hugging each other a lot- we won´t come together so young any more

hope you all enjoy your travels
have a blessed summer

thank you God for mornings

do you know the feeling that something in your stomach starts to hurt,
simply because that what you experience right now is too beautiful to be fully felt

just listening to kings of convenience, certainly one of the most beautiful bands i ever listened to
"you shine like gold in the air of summer"...
ran with a friend all night through the city, watching the sun rise over the habour

figured that "sky" is one of the most sureal things
the blue is most beautiful right between night and day
it´s a cozy blue,
you can´t see it clear because theres nothing else in the sky than blue, no distance visible

bought some hot chocolate and smoked fish at the fishmarket that opened at 5
and it´s like theres nothing else to do than to smile
thats my task for the day
what is yours? :)

still june, diggas

just want to introduce some new people i linked in
they are actually not "new", but i finally linked them in and thought it would be cool to describe quickly my connection to them

so there is "Wölfchen", one of my friends i know for quite a long time, maybe even better since i left Dresden, a very faithful phonecaller, thank you for that

Stephan, also known for about 10 years ? back from his year from the philippines, welcome home brother ( he was the one where i first tried out to make some dread locks, - he looked like mr. super spike...)

Sam, whom i met in Scotland, through quite a messy prayer week, really like her blog and humour

Hannah, also edinburgh, red car, hopefully pink hair, messy kids, gave me her matress and i slept so well on it, thank you han!

chris, met him in Dresden and Edinburgh, most wonderful accent and gentleman attitude

i´m glad to got to know you guys

June

have to admit that the capital of my country is quite fascinating
the visits before this city just fell on me too heavy
but lately it has been wonderful
the turkish market, all people screaming around selling the fruits and crazy spices in the last hours for nearly nothing- we bought 10 pounds of strawberries...
the old man in his cafe where he put a thousand photos on the walls, chairs, tables, mobiles
we gave him some strawberries and he gave us 2 white roses
this is what makes and my heart jump :)

being on one of the coolest fleamarkets of the whole country (lets say of whole world)
philosophying in the old railway area some people made to a cultural centre

watching the eastsidegallery and being newly aware that this is part of my history
eating tons of pasta talking for hours
chilling in the "club der republik"
streetartshops in nonrenovated eaststyle houses
a coffee for free
the freestyler in the tube

yes this city is massive, but so fascinating not just because of the different nongerman cultures, but also because is combining the charme of former west and eastgermany in a special way

here again
the friends beachpartie along the river
with the backround light from THE harbour
having had a car accident before - but this couldn´t stop us:)

by the way the world cup jumped also into my life
simply necessary as i still like to have some social contact
quite a nice atmosphere though lots of security

...would be interesting to see how germany would cope with a visit of ahmadinejad ...

enjoy the summer!
love

Hej

...a phenomenon i don´t understand
this is the year 2006- THE year for Germany
Why? soccer!

this is not rational, ensible or explainable
they put some hundreds of blue lighted goals on the roofs of all high housesin ths city,
every day i use the tube it says in how many minutes the tube will arrive and how many days are left til the first game of the fifa world championship
there are posters all over saying:"Die Welt zu Gast bei Freunden" (the world hosted by friends Fifa 2006- would be nice i we would have this slogan also for asylum seekers...)
all newspapers are full of articles about the topic
the galleries and museums make exhibitions about soccer
you can buy soccerballbreadrools in the bakery
fake "Germany"-tatoos in the supermarkets
they make seminars for busdrivers etc. to be nicer (as you know Germans are not nown as the warmest people:) and how to handle critical fan situations
you can hardly buy tickets for the games, but lot of companies got some and you can win them if you buy their products
this is also the perfect moment to introduce more instruments for our "national security"
there are fights in the red light disricts about which pimps will get more prostitutes to serve the fans
I´d guess nearly 30% of the TV-spots are spammed with soccer
all kinds of products are suddenly black, red, gold
a new public discussion and reflection araised of who "we" actually are and a new "German feeling"-

controversial as always: bashing, yessaying

...
this is definetely far too emphasised and expensive (yes sometimes i think economically)
and leaves a strange feeling in fear of nationalism+ simply
being annoyed

but i like the times when people put their sofas out on the streets+ their TV to watch the games together and to watch people being totally concentrated and
fascinated

hmmpf fortunately it´s over in some weeks

adventures

we went through dark tunnels from trainstationhall to trainstationhall
its all old and fascinating when you are inside these halls; its nearly some kind of churchbuilding feeling because of all the graffitties on the outside. And you can go below the railway in rust and waterfilled rooms.
It´s so good to have this explorative (hopefully nobody sees us) feeling again
to sit on towers of beerboxes watching the trains
and playing agent whomever in the little boot exploring the channel in the night.

read toms recently post to get some decent thoughts about this phenomenon:)

we sowed some herbseeds and colourful flowers- that´s a right and modest thing to do in spring:)


read recently that the EU -anti-torture-comitee
criticised the deportationjail 3 kilometers away from my bed as "not acceptable"

i would so like to be able to say to you that things are going to be alright, somehow
but if i´d do so i´d feel like giving you promises i can´t keep

actual

we had this demonstration yesterday against the refugee and asylumseekers policy of Germany
it seems to be a fact of success for some politicians to show in the end of a year in their reports how the number of asylum seekers living in their county was minimized.

How can we call people as not willing to integrate when we don´t give them the chance to learn proper German, to work, to live in within "normal" parts of the city and to take part in the socio-cultural live when asylum seekers have to live in these places not worth to be called homes for years until they get some kind of residence permit (if they get it)?

Why do we divide Migrants into "the qualified, useful people" bringing human capital into the country and the non-qualified people just consuming "our resources"? The young boy born in Germany with turkish parents, suffering from years of failures in education policy with few chances to ever get a job has the task to justify the rest of his life why he is excist in this country.
He is seen as not valuable.

Waiting with the young girls in the foreigners office, together with about 50 other people and little kids running around. It´s a humbling atmosphere. There are no toys for the kids who also have to wait hour for hour. But we make jokes and laugh a lot. 6 months more.

There´s this big discussion going on again in Germany about integration of Migrants, values, "murder in the name of honour", and deportation. I hope i´m not being naive. I´m aware that there are certain budgets, people who live here for years and don´t speak a word of German, that we can´t care for endless numbers of refugees. But i´m also becoming more aware about the unjustices in these areas going on everyday tolerated, about thought patterns behind (where i even sometimes find myself) definitions of "me" and "you, the other", the fear of the strange,etc. Maybe we need to get our minds changed. And let go of everything we thought we owned.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Besides that we had this really nice "cheeseburger-evening" with lots of friends and dogs,
exploring old, empty buildings (got this feelig again i felt so often as a kid...this "hopeful nobody finds us") and btw: it´s really cool to put the same sticker on the face of all your friends or this little tatoos you can stick with water on your skin- try it out! (The best are little pirates)

hope you are all well

flashlights- we had some sunshine

"you got pain-head?" asked me the boy while doing his maths homework as i laid my head in my hands

"i broke this finger as a did some kungfu three years gao. i practice its muscles while dancing" said the lonely old strange- dancing man in this too dark bar

it´s just 30 minutes by feet from the red-light-party-district to my home, the girls prostituting themselves look quite similar to me


eyerings arent just eyerings, they tell different stories


it´s possible to enjoy to listen to the snoring of your flatmate as something which is real and usual

didn´t realise there was this tornado till watched the news at night
i do ignore people as i feel they are too much for me
thiscitywritessomemillionstorieseveryday
itsinformationoverkill
whoreadsallofthese?
PLEASEGOD

nordic winter

it´s cold here
badly
they say it didn´t snow that much here for years
managed to get icecold + wet feet three times this weekend...

my friend david from dresden is over ...nice
to explore the city together with friends
went today though an old tunnel under the river
an amazing constrution from 1907

got a phonecall from a random guys from the city i lived before, he also lives here now for a while and someone connected us, so he phoned me and we found out we live nearly on the same street, so we going to undertake some stuff

and old classmate of mine phoned me later (we didn´t talk for about 1,5years)
and she´ll come up here for some hours cos other fiends of here are living here too
seems like one can meet everybody in a big city like this:)

went on concerts of "a red season shade" from france and "coem" from belgium- recommend that...this band managed to make the whole audience singing there inner out with the words "oh my nadja" what a hymn:)

btw nice music:
look up www.myspace.com/thewinnipegboys -a friend of mine recorded a few really nice songs

in the meantime i keep on spending loads of time with my living commune, my clothing is full of doghair, someone makes crepes right now

i´m going to eat and dance
lets take time for that

Dock 11

...we proposed to open up a club here called "unicorns at dock 11" or something like that, with a "Schill-out- area", old sofas and walls you can leave your creative output on
right at the harbour
and all people have to wear captains-huts...

i´m doing well here
just moved finally into my tiny room yesterday (yeah)
developed livingcommuneveningrituals of having candels on, drinking tea
and listening to some audioplays

dogs make lifes brighter

i really enjoy doing my practical training
really clicking with the team and getting so much
insight in all kinds of issues and problems concerning the setting i´m working in
I´m currently about to get some more knowledge and insight in
German laws governing all kinds of foreigner and integration issues
might write some more stuff about that later

on the other hand is happens so easily to live in my little world
and to somehow close my heart up/ getting less emotional involved
in getting to know how certain systems are working
and to see what somehow extreme lifes some of the kids are living
I will really have to learn how to bring myself in with my personality
and the things i believe are good, and how to keep integrity

really looking forward to spring

get some hugs, guys

new city- oh so surreal:)

Thursday: free cardigans concert in Cologne, yes. There are lots of reasons to be into scandinavia

Monday: my dear friend becky finally visited me, was so nice to show her my study city and to introduce her to my friends- good to connect the different worlds i live in
had a big godbye- curry-party in the eve

Tuesday: started to pack my kitchen stuff between 4 and 5 in the night- why is moving always messing me up?

Wednesday: stored most of my stuff in a house somewhere in the mountains

Thursday: sitting quietly with a friend, candles and Jazz in her kitchen having a silent goodbye

Friday: a friend and i packed his car with essential life stuff to make our way up north to the new city where i´ll start my practical semester
a smiling new chaos living commune welcomed us in a tiny flat with a wonderful dog

nice party in a loft right at the water of someone i dont kow in the evening- guys, i really think a loft might be the perfect solution for bigcity communitylife

saturday: walking for hours along the harbour and beaches
kashmir-concert (waaah- how beautiful)
making horses to unicorns in a club

Sunday: i´m tired, my friend left, and im finally realising i moved here

hugs

update

i´m having holidays
kind of
loads of birthday, semester end and goodbye parties in the last time
cos loads of people leaving the town for doing their practical semester somewhere else
as i will also do

we still haven´t found a new flatmate
and i´m in week number 5 of the "living alone experince"
i´m really not the person for that

Had good talks last sunday at church with a couple from coventry
didn´t know that churches in the UK can have a "fair-trade-church-certificate"
interesting stuff- i hope this issue will be stressed more in the future in this country as well

was on saturday in "walk the line" the biopic about jonny cash
what to say, the movie shows a lot about the ups and downs of him
and it´s also a lot the love story of him and june
it seems nearly a little cliche, (but sometimes life is simply cliche)
you know the stuff with the superwoman who helps the brokendown rockstar
to get in line again- and they live in love together til the end of their lives...

saying of the week for me is:
we wanna be radical but also be loved and both doesn´t always go together
(a guy in TV doing a literaturemagazin said that while talking with an author about his new book "beer&blood"- great title, i think)

music i´m currently listening to: nina nastasia, sigur ros, final fantasy, p. wolf, 60´s beat´n garage sampler made by a friend

wish you all a nice weekend:)

Dreamday and stuff

wrote my last examen for this semester yesterday
it all went so superfast, -nearly finished my basicstudies
and i still feel not that much more competent:)

had this weekend dreamday in the city
we had it as a 24-1prayertime to bring our dreams before God,
to share it to others and to listen for new deams
- had personally some really encouraging times with God and friends
there were always some people there, so that was cool,
though i wished that more of the young folk of the different churches would have joined in.
but when i´m learning one thing in the last time then that it´s not about me,
how much effort i make and stuff like that. God is the one who impacts the people
it´s not about the "big success" and "efficiency", but more about what the single person experienced being alone with God in that room
- well, still have a lot to learn in that
(my germanness often seem to hit me in that ...:)

Had also in the beginning of the weekend one of these "that´s -amazing- conversations"
a guy phoned me in the middle of the night to have a talk with a friend. he kind of started sharing some deep stuff as i had to interrupt him telling him that i have actually no clue who he is - he was simply wrong connected. Couldn´t find the number of his friend in the phone book, so we just ended up talking about an hour...
really like this crazy lifestuff
(so far a contribution to the always actual topic of "why do stangers talk to me" :-)

mountains and goals

Was finally the weekend for walks with a friend in the mountains here,
listened later on to some audio plays for children with him
i didn´t know it before, so i had to get to know these series,
because it is quite famous here (i don´t want to be out:-)
and people love to sleep in while listening to this stuff

I´m quite done right now,
do you know these times when you´re just tired
it´s hard for you to get out of bed when you think of your to do list for the day
so you just stay in, in the stupid hope things get done by accident:)

i really find it hard to motivate myself when i´m blinded for the actual goal
i mean in how many things we do in our daily life are we constantly aware of why we do it and whats the big goal behind?
I don´t just wanna run around doing my stuff mindlessly (?)
but i also don´t want to think about everything
cos i figured myself being constantly on a metaperspective watching and reflecting myself
- that keeps you also from simply doing things, just because you feel like doing it...

mmph

hope you all have a nice week

January Days

saw yesterday little flowers on the light green gras
while walking under a clear blue sky,
think they are called daisys (?)
and a beautiful half frozen river rhine

always have to remind myself in all my business not to forget to go for walks just to enjoy some nature beauty stuff- yes, maybe we shouldn´t be afraid to be a little more hippie:)

I´m about to plan all kinds of things for moving
looking for new flatmates
finishing my studies

and really important: socialising

on sunday one guy whos coming since some weeks to the youthgroup came forward to tell that he gave his life to Jesus one random evening
I was like: you still do it, God. That´s amazing,
realising i still got my mindset it would be about us,
how we live church and stuff that attracts people
and surely that plays a role, but God is building his kingdom,
-simply. Despite of out-of-tune-worship and boring rooms
weak prayertimes and blokes like me.
He is doing it. He is grace.
Thank you

the random party conversations

...
" what are you drawing?"
"-don´t know-"
" looks like "jesus loves you" but no one understands"
...