I don't want India to become human someday

India to me as we are sitting down to snuggle and watch a TV show for our girls' night:  Can we watch something appropriate for kids and humans?

Bryce: Where are you going?
Me: Sariah's house.
Bryce: Who's Sariah?
India: Dada's sister, my aunt, and mommy's friend.

India:  I think we both have the same hair.

Me: Oh yeah?  Is that cause we both have dark brown hair?

India (as she's combing her hair with water): Yeah.  And we both have sticking up hair.  

Sorry for the frizzy hair gene babe.

"Dammit!"  India's frustration when she couldn't get a puzzle piece to fit.

I'm mortified that she learned that awful word from me.

Ammon: Go brush you teeth India.

India: Not till you say you're sorry first.

Every night: "Mommy, I will come snuggle you in the morning, so you will have no bad dreams."

"I am going to marry my best friend.  I think I will have a contest."

India: I want makeup for Christmas.

Ammon: No.

India: Then I will not invite you to my wedding.

Ammon:  I wish you would spend as much time thinking about where you want to go to college as you do about getting married.

India: I'm not going to college.

Ammon: You go sit in time out right now.

Time Out

Ammon:  Why did you have to sit in time out?

India: Because I said I'm not going to college.  But princesses don't go to college!

Ammon:  Well, you're not allowed to be a princess then.

Tears

Me:  Princesses go to college.  I'm a princess and I went to college.  (Then I list all of the princesses that have gone to college in our family. Come on Disney!)

Ammon: And you can go to college in a castle.  

Ammon and India go look online at uber expensive universities that have gorgeous campuses.   

"When I grow up to be a human, I will go to college and work at the dog groom."

She's a miscreant

I should submit video footage of Maya's life to the TV program I Shouldn't Be Alive.  I have so been overreacting this week.  She really is cute and sweet and adorable, and I love her so much. Then I turn my back for 34 seconds, and she's turned into a wild woman.  I've lost my sense of humor this week, so no pictures to prove how crazy she's making me.

• Broke the cookie jar where I was keeping the Halloween candy.
• Holds Belle's tail and chases her around the house while yelling at her.
• Put all of the pens and pencils into the printer.
• Stuck 200 stickers all over the dog.
• Chews on choking hazardous toys.  Found her hiding in my bathroom with the door closed chewing on something.  When I held out my hand, she spit a plastic Halloween spider into my hand.
• Rips out pages and/or draws in every library book we check out.
• Pinches India's cheeks.
• Mopped the bathroom floor with toilet water.
• Stole all the yogurt puff treats from another kid's diaper bag while I was babysitting.
• Pulls clumps of India's hair out.
• Tried to go potty after bath but said it was stuck.  Was finally able to get poop unstuck on her bedroom floor.  At least she came and got me and didn't hide.
• Hides behind doors without saying anything until found.
• Tears off the plastic covering of DVDs and pulverizes the paper inside.
• Tore off decorations to all of the pre-made birthday cards India made.
• Dumped the dog water out on kitchen floor.
• Drank the rest of the dog water that didn't get dumped out.

I did substitute as the singing leader in Maya's nursery class though, and she was so stinking cute!  She loves the sunbeam song!  And she even did all the actions and took turns and folded her arms.  Sigh.

Good News & Bad News

The good news:

India's Indian costume is so much cooler than the one I got to make in school. I had to bribe her to put it on, so I could take a picture of her.  

The bad news:

Maya is teething and in a particular moody, moody, bad mood. 

Also, my best piano student just got engaged.  (She's 23, so that's probably ok).  I totally called it too.  But she's probably not going to be in my Winter Recital.

Bummer.

What's better than eating Halloween candy?

Eating Halloween candy n a k e d.  

Why won't she keep her clothes on?

     I had a great weekend.  And of course, I didn't have my camera with me. So the pictures are from a few days ago.  Friday the girls and I picked up our friends, Kiersten & Morgan and headed to Orem to party with  Sarah Circle friends.  I kept the kids up waaaaaaaay too late, and they fell asleep in the car.  But our little friends apparently live in a different time zone in West Jordan because they were up at 6:45 am.  Well, probably earlier than that because that's what time I finally woke up to investigate the mysterious booms and giggles.  My work day doesn't usually start before 8 am.  Then Ammon and I took the kids to the zoo for trick or treating, which was SO MUCH FUN!  India loved the real cow (yes, "real" as in the guy dressed up in the cow costume giving away chocolate milk).  Then we went home and took a long nap.  When we woke up, it was pouring rain. However, Ammon and I ditched the kids with Uncle Bryce who took them trick or treating for an hour in the downpour while we went to the ballets The 4 Temperments and Carmina Burano.    Aside from the music which was AMAZING, this was the gayest thing I've ever asked Ammon to do. Think male dancers in flesh-colored spandex undies.  Or male dancers in banana-yellow spandex undies with asymmetrical spandex shrugs.  He was dying, and I was trying so hard not to giggle.  I loved every minute of it.

Maya's dragon costume.  Look familiar?  She kept to the dragon theme by eating the candy and the wrapper.   How do we know?  We found the wrappers in her diaper the next day.

Miss Maya waiting for Baby to come out of preschool.  Maya has had weird attachment issues this week.  She has cried and cried and cried after ANYBODY leaves her.  She cried the whole hour trick or treating with Uncle Bryce except to accept candy and say thank you.

Preschool pumpkins.

Practicing walking in a line with her preschool class and teacher Mrs. Kamille.

Finallly!  Baby is ready to come home!

Gross Candy Party, Witches, Pumpkins

I had so much fun at Hailey's Gross Candy Party last year that I threw my own.  We played games, tasted gross candy we brought, and then feasted on brain bites (sweet & sour meatballs), monkey hearts and alligator eyes with pus (strawberries & grapes with fruit dip), bone marrow and mud squares (pumpkin rolls & brownies), mummies (pigs in a blanket), and a candy corn veggie platter (cauliflower, carrots, and yellow bell peppers shaped like a large candy corn). And it was so fun!

I carved our pumpkin this year!  Go me!  The girls would have nothing to do with the pumpkin guts.  Maya kept saying, "ewww, yuck, yuck."  I can think of plenty of grosser things that Mookie still does.  India cried when I made her stick her hand in th scrape out the seeds.  I'm pretty sure my parents made me do the same thing.  Our pumpkin was supposed to be a princess.  Hmmmm.  At least I have a year to perfect my design for next year.

Check out my hair!  It's not a wig, and the dye did come out before church.  Josie and I bundled up and went to Witch's Night Out at Gardner Village.  I was so proud of myself because I only shopped with my cell phone, meaning I took pictures of everything I wanted to buy because just maybe I can make those things for a fraction of the price.  Or at least find a killer bargain.  My favorite part was the dancing!  I have not been to a dance for way too long.  I looked like a dork, but I had fun!